A day in Hua Hin

Sunday is my day off. I "work" 6 days a week on my thesis but one day a week, I want to explore and have fun.

Today, me, the bf and the bf's classmate, a Chilean-Belgian guy who's lived in India, decided to head to Hua Hin. With not much expectations.


Hua Hin

I had been to Hua Hin before, and it seemed little more than a watered-down Pattaya, the girly-bars a bit less loud and obvious and less Russians, but more Scandinavians.

In Thailand, wherever there are tourists, there are whores, boys and girls. That means everywhere in the country - basically. Demand and supply, you know.

We arrived at Hua Hin at midday, and headed straight for the beach. The sky was beautiful, the blue was intense, the clouds were mushrooming, the contrasts were amazing - a typical rainy season sight.


The clouds, amazing!

Whoever thinks, Thailand in the rainy season is not worth visiting, think again! The air is cleaner, the skies are amazing, the sunsets colourful - and the rains cool things down a bit.

Then, we walked on the beach for nearly two hours and the result is visible on my arms: red, red, red. I never get sunburnt, and I used SPF 30 sublock, to no avail. While walking on the beach, quite a few old farang fags ogled us with a gaze that said: "WOW, three young boys, I feel peckish!"


The beach.


We arrived at some mall, it could have been in Sydney, Manila, Grand Rapids or Cape Town. It was a big white building with Starbucks, KFC and Mister Donut. We decided not to eat there and took the songteaw to the centre, eating on the pier.

The food was average. In Thailand, the food is the worst where it's expensive and where tourists eat. I have never, I repeat: NEVER eaten a good meal at an expensive Thai place. I am sure they exist, but I havent seen any.

The bf and his friend wanted to go up the hill to the south of Hua Hin, where a monastery overlooks the whole bay. I was feeling lazy, but joined them. At the end of our songteaw trip, we reached a fishing village.


The stinky fish place

It was really Thai place. Little shops with snacks in plastic bags hanging from the roof, 1L water for 5 baht, a lot of rubbish, tiny construction workers (why do they never choose the bulky people???) fixing roads with bags of sand, and ultra-fresh seafood on sale for rich Bangkokians.

And then there was the stench - I nearly threw up. Rotten crabs is not what you want to smell, I can only tell you that much. I dont like the smell of dried fish in the first place, but that was a few level up from dried fish...

Up on the monastery, the view was really gorgeous, and worth all the pains. You be the judge:


Nice view!

We got the songteaw back into town, and hopped on the minivan back to Victory Monument - a fun day!

I do have some thoughts on Hua Hin. It's a very odd place. Probably the most European place I have ever seen outside of Europe. It might as well be Ibiza...


Indian-made suits for Europeans

The average age in Hua Hin, among the non-Thais (and there are MANY of these) is roughly 85 years. Not quite, but it seems to be a very popular retirement place. I saw an old (like really old) Frenchman with his Nouvel Observateur (a magazine) in the songteaw.

It made me think about my retirement. I would be so bored, if my daily routine would lead me to the bookshop, to buy a magazine from back home, have a coffee, look at a few young boys and then retire to my condo.

I think I want to retire somewhere where I can do something, like own a guesthouse, or a restaurant, or whatever. Ok, I need to wait a few more decades for that to happen, but I found the farangs in Hua Hin a bit of a sad lot. (especially the ogling fags, there must not be a lot of gay action to be had...)

The centre of the town is so beautiful, with old wooden two-storey houses, and the natural setting of Hua Hin is actually amazing. Yet, the old part is full with Danish, Italian, German, Swiss restaurants and Indian men vying for your baht for a "suit sir, suit sir".

A bit more outside of town, there are dozens of 30+ storey condos. The view from in there must be amazing, yet at the rate they are building new ones, I wonder whether they are all going to be empty, or whether the economy is not so bad after all. Either will have to apply...


it says it all...

All in all, I cant develop so many feelings for Hua Hin, neither negative ones, as for Pattaya nor positive ones, as for Lopburi...what do you think?

Three very short anecdotes

A few days ago, at roughly 2am, while I was studying in my bed dutifully, the notorious and hot technician wrote me a message on msn: "I WANT SEXXXXXXXX"

anyone still want to suggest, he just wants to be friends with me?

Yesterday, while studying dutifully (ok, this time really) at 6pm, I saw something on the balcony of the new condo opposite. (you can see the condo on the pictures in the last post)

The condo is not quite finished yet. Nevertheless, I saw roughly 4-5 topless tanned guys on one of the balconies. I took a few pictures with my camera, yet it didnt have the zoom capabilities.

click on this for better view

I checked what they were doing with my eagle eyes (that need glasses nevertheless) hahaha. When I checked again, they all put on shirts. Why were they shirtless in the first place? they were playing around on the balcony, even mounting the aircon system like monkeys and jumping around something inside the condo (the bed I guess, I kid you not)

The third anectdote: look at the picture. Seen at Wat Pho. Read my non-biased comment after the picture.

It is the Burmese!!!!!!

Rainy season - trying to find a job

Nono, things are not a bleak as they sound. I am sitting here at 30 minutes past midnight, and in front of me, a shiny orangey mango - delicious!

What would I do without tropical fruits? In the West, everyone says: eat fruits it's healthy and no one wants to do it because there are only apples and bad oranges.

In my fridge there are 2 more mangoes that make the whole room smell pleasantly when I open up the fridge, a bag full of mangosteens (they are better than an orgasm I SWEAR) and lychees bigger than ping pong balls.

It's raining frequently now, which makes for a cleaner and cooler air, a few sick Thais (it's the rain's fault) and amazing cloud formations. I have taken a lot of pictures from my window recently and every day is different!

Here are some samples: Click on them and save them if you wish

I am also trying to find a job. I will finish my thesis in roughly October, then plan to travel a bit around the region, celebrate Christmas with family (the first time in 6 years) and then start a job!

I tell you, it's not easy as a graduate with a) excellent academic qualifications b)published academic work in books and journals (I wont give you the link, it's boring:) c) work-experience in a research centre but c) not much other work experience.

I think they call it "practical" work. I know I would be a loyal, hardworking chap, good with people, on time, everything you wish. Heck I grew up in a very very protestant household, what do you expect???

But it's not easy. I am now looking for UNPAID internships to improve my position. Preferably in Sydney Australia, starting January '10. If any of you loyal Aussie readers have a suggestion, write me pleaaaaaaaaase.

I am interested in areas such as NGO work, policy development, anything international, development work, but also business (if an "interesting" area). I have a BA degree in International Affairs and going to have two MA in European studies and can speak a few languages.

Sorry if that was a bit much self-advertisement, but I am using all channels I can. Think about how much we/you spend in Pattaya and Bangkok on boys everytime you come here, so I am sure I can advertise myself a bit too. But I am NOT doing short-time, ok?:))))

One more thing, a loyal reader from down under is sending me a few pictures of handsome Asian men, so you might see some once in a while here. I am sure it's not detrimental to your experience on my blog:)

You spoke - The new class - Memories

I asked you what you wanted from my blog, and here are the answers:

80% of you want to read more stories about me and my bf. ok, we are having a boring relationship at the moment, no scandals and problems but I'll see what I can do.

50% of the people that answered wanted more real-life stories of me. good, that's easy:)

47% of the people wanted more near-naked Asian boy pictures. I put this on as a half-joke. It's quite popular though...I noticed that the numbers spiked after gayboythailand.com has linked to me. I can try to find some attractive guys, but done expect a second gayboythailand.com, ok?:)

40% wanted more info about BKK and also 40% wanted more bitchy opinions.

philosophical masterpieces were deeply unpopular. perhaps because I couldnt even spell it, and blogger didnt let me correct it. :)

I am glad about what you said. It's more or less how I write the blog already. I suppose I should include more stories on my bf and me, since I do not write so much about us.

Also, I might try to add a bit more visual appeal to the site. These things take up so much time though. Writing a text is one thing, adding pictures, uploading them, positioning them etc will double the time it takes for a blog entry.

Also I am happy to read that quite a few people like my opinions. What is a bitchofbangkok without being bitchy after all? If you want moneyboy-talk or god-like treatment of thai boys I suggest you go somewhere else anyway:)

The new series I started on sunday, i HEART bkk should give the blog a bit more a BKK-tinge. I think that will be enjoyable.


A rainy day.

I went to university today - hadnt been for over 3 weeks because I had been working from home. The new students were due for an information day. It was fun. Of course everyone was a bit surprised to see a handsome farang *joke* appear in front of the class.

My first glance into the classroom made me think: why did I not start THIS year? There were about 10 men, and some of them very good-looking. After some eye-contact with the cutest, in which we acknowledged that we were both gay and didnt mind each other's appearance, I thought: "maybe it's better I was in last year's class, things might have gone complicated and I would have been very distracted"

They were shy of course. No one came to talk to me. But I am sure, many of them had already gossipped about me. The cute boy asked as soon as I took the stage: "why did you come to Thailand?"

Should I have said? Because of you! Hahaha, corny. Anyway, I looked at him so much because he reminded me of Lumpini boy. Check my small story about him here: Lumpini boy is the only guy I never forgot. Even if we didnt have time to develop a special connection, when I think about him, I still feel shy.

There is more of a twist to the Lumpini boy story actually. Back when we met in September, we had a good time, until we went back to my home. Then, he suddenly looked at me and kissed me. We had sex but it was very odd.

When he came, he pulled my head away from his dick. I think I know why it was all so weird. I think he is HIV+. He wrote this in his online-profile. On this site, you can fill out a sexual health profile, and that's just what he did, so it cant just be a misunderstanding.

Thais react very badly when I told them I might have slept with a HIV+ person. I in turn got angry for reacting so badly. I feel that they have a right to sexuality - and it would not turn me off sleeping with someone.

We just need to be careful, just like with anyone else. In that case, he was being careful, and I am thankful for that.

i HEART bkk - for its attractions

This is the first post in a new series, "i HEART bkk".

I love Bangkok. Unconditionally. It's my home and I miss it as soon as I leave - everytime! So I want to document my love, take pictures, write about my tours, my stories, my experience, anything.

p.s. This time I left the pictures in their original, huge format, click on them! The Ko Kret ones are not good, because taken with my sh*t Nokia phone.

Part of my fascination for bkk is that even after a year, there's still so much to be discovered. Museums, areas, temples, even parks! Yes parks exist in Bangkok.

My boyfriend never tires of saying: "bangkok lacks public spaces". He hates Bangkok. At least he says so. When we go out, his face resembles a waterfall after a few minutes in the hot and humid Bangkok air.

I think when he is back in (wherever he will go in October), he will miss Bangkok too.

The last two weekends, we moved our asses to see a few attractions that we always wanted to see.

renting a bike

The last weekend was nature dominated. We took the bus from my home to Nonthaburi, which lies immediately north of Bangkok. On the way to Pak Kret, we were advised to change buses by the bus lady.

We obliged and were thanked by a tropical rainstorm. In the bus, we were told that we were in the right number, but wrong direction. Ouch. Rainstorm, wet me and boyfriend and shoes. etc.

After arriving in Pak Kret, we tried to find a boat to Ko Kret. We found it and were squeezed into the tiny thing. My knees basically touched my face, and at 174cm I am no giant.

Ko Kret and the river.

On Ko Kret, we rented a bike to be able to discover the whole island. It was already 4pm though, so we had to rush a bit.

All in all, Ko Kret is an extremely pleasant place. Get away from the main spots into the green, where Bangkokian tourists dont clog the tiny pathway anymore.

Football Ko Kret-style

All the pathways on this island are a few metres above ground, presumably to keep them safe from flooding in the rainy season. The wooden houses and villages are pristine and all in Thai-style on long pillars.

After we finished about 3/4 of our trip, the black clouds in the photo caught up - it was not pleasant. After a few minutes in the rain, even my underwear was soaked - and my shirt was glued to my body songkran-style.

See the storm coming?

Makes for good nipple-viewing, but feels cold, especially in the taxi, which then drove us home. At home, we both jumped into the hot shower (hot shower in Bangkok anyone, how odd is that?) and the rest I will not tell you. But it left me dazed for 10 minutes after we finished, I kid you not!

Fast forward: today.

Getting off the taxi. At the National Museum. After a bit of bargaining, I get in for free, only me though, bf forgot the student ID. There go 200 baht.

Beautiful sky in BKK

The museum could really use the money though, as I quickly noticed. The general section is nationalistic and biased. I have seen museum in the provinces that were much better, more detailed and more neutral.

The rest was interesting. But old and falling apart. Chinese porcelain, swords, dolls etc. A playground!

Phra Arthit 1

Phra Arthit 2

Again in the taxi, to the Golden Mount. Taxi driver asked me: Is that your friend? I said, no my boyfriend. He said something about "rak sam kon". I assume he wanted a threesome. He also said that he finishes at 6pm but that now it's only 5pm.

We were amused. Walking up the Golden Mount, I asked myself countless times why I had never been there before. It's stunning!

bkk from Golden Mount

An artificial mountain to build a temple on top. The bottom of the mount is largely filled up with greenery, then the white concrete and on top the golden temple. The views are breathtaking and luckily the weather was good. A 360-degree panorama of BKK for free.

Wat Ratchanatda

Then we went to the neigbouring temple of Wat Ratchanatda, the silver "European style" one at the beginning of Ratchadamnoen Road. It was pretty empty except for some extremely malnourished cats.

The boyfriend picked up the cutest one and then discovered that it had a horrible eye infection. It thanked him by sh*tting on him.

Democracy Monument

We left to Khao San Road. Gays may not know this, but Khao San is a lot of fun! There are also quite a lot of Thai gays there. Besides, if you meet a Thai gay there, he is very likely to a) speak English and b) be into farangs.

My tip, try your luck:) But he will be there with his fag-hags most of the time, so that's a major hurdle.

Anyway, the bf and I got drunk and went on the bus home after thinking that both, Asahi and San Miguel beer can not even dare measure up to Belgian Trappist beers.

Another badminton night - trouble with the technician

Saturday night is badminton night. I love playing it and it's good to get out and meet new people.
They are all Thai so each weak, this is my lone opportunity to actually learn new things about these people, or just enjoy being around them.

Today, I played much better, courtesy to the daily exercises I am doing, and to the intelligent pre-eating - nuts and a mango.

It was also a lot funnier, I cracked jokes and everyone loved it. Even the man from Isan, who wasnt happy to play with me the last time, had a big smile on his face.

Of course there was a view to be enjoyed, remember? This time, the policeman wore looser pants, which somewhat killed the night for me:)

On the way home, as soon as my friend had left again, he asked me personal questions again. "Do you like this guy there? or that guy over there?" He said, pointing at various people on the road.

Then, he started more personal questions: "Why dont you live with your boyfriend?" "Are you and your Thai badminton friend really only friends?" After I said it the 4th time, he still said: "mai cheua" (I dont believe you).

What's going on here? He must have realised that I like him very quickly. Thais are good at that. One glance, and they know it. He is probably playing on it now...



In other news, I am now not on good terms with the technician of our condo anymore. Remember the steamy sauna at midnight and the other stories?



Well, I ordered pizza the other day and the pizza delivery boy (very cute by the way, and recognised me from the last time, when he peaked over my shoulder to see my cute boyfriend) had to be escorted by the technician.

When they arrived, delivery boy smiled, technician smiled too, and another gay boy, whom I had never seen passed behind them. Great, four fags in two square metres equals? Drama, you are right.

Delivery boy left, technician smiled - and said he wants to talk to me. I start eating the pizza - knock, knock. Sh*t!!!

It was the technician, he took off his shoes and was on the way into my room...why? why? who invited him? I am eating for f*ck's sake! I told him clearly: "mai dai!" "ja ma kui gan ti lang" (I will come talk to you later)

I went down 2 hours later and technician was playing camfrog, chatting to his gay-mates - as every night. I was bored after 2 minutes and said: "bpai noon" (I am going to sleep). He was surprised that I am leaving already....

Well. I would like to shut up but I have to say it again. It's not the first time I enounter this. Sometimes, Thai people will absolutely fall for you, want to see you every minute, be friends, be boyfriends, love each other or I dont know what.

The next day, they might lose all interest...lets see if policeman acts that way too.

More Antique pictures - bored

I dont have so many exciting things to talk abou these days - because there arent any. I am just staying at home every day to read about theories of region integration and globalisation for my thesis.

Yesterday night, me and the boyfriend went to Central World for Japanese dinner, then he bought me a little cake for dessert. I bought some mangoes and mangosteens at Paragon supermarket in turn.

Then we went home and watched a movie, indulging in the desserts.

That's all for updates, I dont go out that much anymore because out of my classmates, I care for two people. One is eternally busy and stays home if it rains (which is like every day) and the other one lives way out in Pattanakarn (halfway to the airport).

Thing is with Thais, even if I have known them for over a year know, and even if we are really close friends actually, they would NEVER invite me to their home.

Can anyone tell me why? Because I really have no idea. I know they live with their families but I also know that they tell their parents like EVERYTHING about me - it's not like I'd be the odd friend from class - I even met the busy friends parents before! And the busy friend lives just a few Soi down the road - so she wouldnt cause me invonvenience by inviting me.

....moving on to my promise of more pictures from the "antique" movie stars. Maybe you are not so keen on them, but I am and I enjoy looking at their pictures:)

Joo Ji-Hoon (주지훈)

Kim Jae-Wook (김재욱)

I love this guy!!!! His style is incredible!!!

Antique Bakery - 3 Yummy Koreans

My LOVE for all things Korea might have come through to regular readers. I want to reiterate it though!

Recently, I watched the movie "Antique Bakery" with my bf. I can recommend the movie for everyone who thinks tall Koreans with broad shoulders are hot. It is actually a gay-themed movie, where the pastry chef is in love with his boss since high school.

May I introduce the cast?

Joo Ji-Hoon (주지훈), owner of the bakery shop. He is TO DIE FOR! At 187cm, I can barely reach his lips for a kiss though:( Please bow down a bit, 지훈씨!!!! 사랑해!!!

Kim Jae-Wook (김재욱)

He is the gay pastry chef. In real life, he has lived in Japan as a child, played in a rock band, acted in the über-popular Coffee Prince series and worked as a model. Wow. Look, and you know why.

Finally, Yoo Ah-In (유아인)

In the movie, this young man plays the teenie street rogue. He reminds me a lot of Thai teenies in Siam Square. Or, is it the other way around rather?

Credits go to teazed.blogspot.com for the bottom right picture.

So, which one do YOU prefer?

Maybe it's time well move to Korea....??? I am starting to think about it anyway:)

Saturday night badminton with two policemen

Today I went to play badminton again. After nearly 5 months, I decided to call up my friend and ask him when he plays.

Saturday at 9pm it is, so I joined. This friend of mine is the only gay Thai friend I actually have. We started out as FB's and became friends...quite good friends in fact. Yet our ways parted for a while...

Now, they found each other again, and I am very happy! We met at Huay Kwang MRT and I was late. I saw him and he laughed about my hair. I knowwwwww it's ugly!!!

Then, a black car waited for us with two policemen in front. We got in. Well, they are policemen by day and just nice people at night.

Of course, they were both gay. What else would you expect in this country and from badminton players? One was hot!!! I was told he is already 32, but he looked young.

I know everyone will now say, farang can never guess Asian people's age...but he looked good!

Quite square face, a bit tanned skin, hair like a hedgehog and a bit of a gay movement in the wrist.

Then I saw him playing, from behind. And good lord, his legs looked nice and his ass was so round and tight. That's all I thought though. I CAN look, ok? But I really like sporty guys....heeheehee:)

Then we drove home and the policemen dropped off my friend. It was now only the three of us. Now guess the next question by the hot policeman...

"Do you live alone?"

A similar debate in Korea

I have a blog in my links called the Metropolitician. An American man who has lived in Korea for some time and is an artist/teacher. He takes amazing photographs of the streets of Seoul and writes exceptionally well.

"drunken mess", taken from Metropolitician's blog.

He also frequently criticises Korea, for which he gets criticised a lot in turn! We all know how it is to live in a foreign country and hardly being able to criticise it, without hearing the "why are you here?" and "if you dont like it here, why dont you go?".

These thoughts are destructive and mearly dismissive. Every country, every culture should question itself, and it is always interesting to hear an OUTSIDE perspective.

Outsiders perceive things differently. Maybe their analysis is not always right on the spot, but it's worth listening to them because they have a more neutral and unbiased standpoint.

"options" taken from metropolitician's blog.

Anyway, he wrote an emormous piece about "Dating Korean Women". I know I know, he is straight, but read it, if you are interested that is. It's a good read, and there are parallels to Thailand.

He writes about how as a Westerner (African American), he gets looked down on a lot and most Korean women would never seriously consider dating a non-Korean, for the social repercussions would be enormous.

He also wrote that having a foreign boyfriend, for a Korean woman, is challenging, and that a "coming out" much like gays need to do, is required to tell people about this "odd" choice of hers.

"april showers" taken from metropolitician's blog.

Enough serious discussion, read him if you are interesting in Korea at all, or at least check out the blog, it's very inspiring!

The weekend feeling

I am not a party queen. If you say "weekend" to people my age, most would instantly think "Singha Beer", "Saeng Som Whisky", "party", "drunk", "fun", "a group of friends" and so on...I am absolutely not like that, and have never been.

At 16, I just stayed home because I lived in a tiny village and didnt have any friends. At 18, I got my driver's licence, so I drove to my friend's hometowns, so we could have a (ONE) drink. Not more, because I was the driver.

Laundry day!

At 21, I moved to the other side of the planet, and I had great flatmates, and a boyfriend whom I could share some time with watching European movies (flatmates) or Alias and eat KFC (boyfriend).

Now, a few years later, I am still a domesticated boy. I love drinking alcohol though, but just with a friend or two to get a bit merry and to express things I'd usually not say. Or even just alone.

My friends. This is the censored version, uncensored will be 19.95$ a month:)

Actually, come to think of it...I never had a group of friends. Just a few.

Today is one of these days. I am home, as I have been for the last week anyway, and I am doing the laundry, watching BBC News, eating crackers and cheese and writing on my notorious MA thesis.

Must study!

That's also the reason why I have been home for he last week. I figure writing a text at home works better. Going to the university takes me nearly an hour (including getting dressed, putting on Chanel Allure, and treating my silky hair with mousse, wax and hairspray).

A little side-story I want to tell you: Do NOT EVER get a haircut by a straight man. They have no idea. Point made. It can save you a trip to the hairdresser next door immediately after your haircut. Really!!!

Life at home can get a bit boring sometimes, but at least I have an amazingly comfortable home that I absolutely love, a nice view and a lovely boyfriend who comes and visits frequently.

Ironing waiting to be done!

Long live the housewife in me....sorry I am taken though, I wont accept applications for someone who needs a boy to take care of the households *wink*

Lets talk about...this blog

In the last few days, a few things have changed regarding this blog. You cant see it, because it's not things you see instantly in the blog.

Due to my post on "why you love Thai boys?", I have received quite a lot of comments, some emails, a few new surprising links, and also about a 200% increase in average readership.

I suspect I hit a nerve with this little piece, however I do not want to bring it up just now.

The links, especially from established bloggers have really made me feel honoured. However, seeing that my little text has triggered reactions in many other bloggers, who started thinking (or perhaps they thought about it before) and writing about this particular topic, has made me just as happy.

It proves that blogs can have a strong voice, and anyone can talk/write. I am really delighted that a discussion has been taking place, whatever the subject is. This is for me, what blogging is about.

I am not an activist. I am not meaning to impose my opinion on people or hurt or demean people, I am just sometimes meaning to provoke a discussion. Many other times it did not work, this time it did.

The comments, and especially the emails, have been amazing. Especially reader K., I want to thank you for the contribution, it has truly made me think. I want to share some of his points.

K. was intrigued that I spend so much time on the blog. He loved the stories of me travelling, especially when my dad was visiting in December last year. He writes:

"It was like reading a good book on someone's life, as I took you as my firstperson, the protagonist, in a story that I was involved in emotionally [...]."

Thank you K.

However K. does not like, in fact "dismiss" my ranting articles, where I am catty, or mean spirited. I think I know which ones he means.

Im sorry, my readers. I am quite an emotional person...(not a bitch though...:) Sometimes, I can not detach myself from other people's lives and feel the urge to judge. I am not dumb, I know that sometimes we should not judge.

Sometimes however, we can. This is a blog, and not an academic article (I write enough of them already). So I guess you get some of my personal opinions. Also, I have chosen to remain (relatively) anonymous...so I can express my opinions a bit more freely. (If you are nice, I'll go on a date with you though ;) I am NOT however trying to claim an absolute truth, that would be silly.

K. thought the ranting articles were not needed, blogger "mee too?" however wrote that his jaw dropped and he found it interesting to get an outspoken perspective of a young person in Bangkok.

Which now brings me to the main point...since for me, blogging is all about INTERACTING with people, getting reactions, feedbacks, praisal, hate mail (none of that yet...:), I would actually like to hear more from you.

I have many thoughts every day what to include in this blog and I want to hear from you what you think about these ideas. I'm going to conduct a POLLLLLLL for that matter. (as if I didnt write enough about polls for university already...)

Please tick what you want to see more of!

By the way, it's meant to mean "philosophical masterpieces" but cant change it anymore since someone voted...SHAME ON ME!

We are becoming interlinked!

I have recently discovered that two bloggers have linked my blog to theirs. Thank you very much, fellow bloggers Silom Farang and Mee too?

I have of course returned the favour and linked their blogs too, please, if you do not know either, visit their blogs.

SF should be known to just about everyone who is interested in Gay Thailand. He's been blogging for many years, and has even written a soap opera about foreigners in Bangkok. Many readers may no doubt recognise some of their own experiences and mishappenings in of the characters.

SF is also, as his name suggests, an absolute specialist on Silom, the Bangkok business district by day and (some other) business district by night...

Mister "mee too?" however, is like me, a young foreigner in Bangkok. He is teaching English somewhere in the suburbs and when I read his blog, I feel sometimes a bit reminded of my earlier days in Bangkok, when "fun" encounters were abundant and I could not taste enough of these Thai boys. Now I only look of course:)

mee too has also dedicated nearly a whole article on me. Wow, you honour me!!! Lets see what he had to say:

"I take genuine interest in the writing, and really appreciate his opinions and experiences. Sometimes, I follow -- with fascination -- his encounters and every day life in Thailand. Other days, I read quietly with my mouth hanging open, surprised by his strong :) confidence and situational assessments."

Wow, never did I realise that I leave people with mouths hanging open due to my confidence and my situational assessments...explain, my dear! I know I have my opinions, and a blog is there to share them, but I didnt know that I shock people...

"Many times, he writes about his chance encounters with people in the "land of smiles :)." At first, it might have been about cultural acclimation and his hook-ups: online and otherwise. Then though, he started giving glimpses into his relationship with a boyfriend living here from abroad, all the while mixing with talk about his life in Bangkok."

Indeed, you summed it up for me. It's not easy to find a new perspective. Writing about hook-ups is fun and entertaining, writing about a relationship perhaps just as interesting, but much more difficult.

"How interesting that he talks so freely about Thais who 'give the look' or provide 'signs' to him. What must it be like to have Thai people ogle you when you're with your boyfriend, or talk about you while you're on the street. To be the subject of conversation when you go to the store, the market, Silom Road :), or really any time you leave your house --- that must be something ..."

Indeed, stunning young lads as we are, we do get some attention. It is indeed strange when Thais flirt with me or the bf when we walk together. They do it all the time!!! Interestingly, the bf gets more attention, choz! (kawadjan, I needed to write this!!!)

I think Northeast Asians have a better reputation here than farang. Or he just looks better than me, which I can accept too:) In any case, I do get more than my share of attention too.

However, I dont go to Silom very often anymore. It's quiet and boring these days and I dont feel like making fun of moneyboys and their old fag daddies from Europe anymore. I suppose it has something to do with moving my home too.

"It's a pleasure to read about perceived looks, body language, and cultural adaptation, especially stories from a 'young' person that has taken the opportunity.The idea of a consious choice to live here, surrounded by the strange world of Thailand is fascinating, shocking, and cool."

"I can identify with this blogger and learn new things every time I stop by. There's sex, intrigue, humor, and sometimes, intellectual disagreement --- that to me, makes for good reading."

Thank you, me too? Kisses!

Steamy sauna at midnight

Last night, me and the boyfriend felt that we should go swim at midnight. Officially, the pool closes at 10pm, but I knew we can ignore that because I talked to the technician, who has nightshift every night.

You remember him, yes? The guy who's been in my room twice and who's watched camfrog (e.g. naked men on webcam) with me.

Bf and me went past the office, I said hi and asked him if it's ok to go swim. He was topless and only wearing boxer shorts, due to - again - chatting on the webcam. (reminder: he has a boyfriend)

Well, having arrived at the pool, I suddenly noticed the technician behind me - too late - the threw me into the water. That was noisy and naughty.

Technician again

The BF and I kept swimming a bit and he kept watching us. A few minutes later, he took off his boxers and went to turn on the steamy sauna, showered, and went in there.

Then, my bf surprised me. He said he's going to the sauna too, only to turn around half-way. In the 4 years that I know him, he hasnt stricken me as a sex-oriented person, so I was a bit puzzled.

Later, the bored technician joined us in the water, and I, freezing cold as it was (25 degrees possibly) ran into the sauna to warm up. It didnt take more than 20 seconds and we were three.

What now, is what I thought, and the technician and the bf probably too. Instead, the technician kept doing push-ups and talking about his sexy pictures on the net.

Then, the bf reclined on the bench....in any case, i felt it was a highly sexualised environment, and I was puzzled by the situation.

Later, the bf and I left again, and went to have a shower in the adjacent toilets - occupying both stalls. When I finished, the technician was standing there with an - I am not kidding you - enormous *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* inside his underwear.

He passed me and looked at my pants and went to shower himself. And that was it...

Now, 15 hours later, I am still puzzled and confused. The technician wanted a threesome, that's clear. What my boyfriend wanted, was less clear to me - I had never been in such a situation with him.

My guess was that he felt a pinch in his pants but was too shy to act upon it.

Later, we had a grand discussion that ended with us sleeping only at 4am. The bf told me, he thinks that the technician has a "nice body" but did not feel anything sexual this moment. I dont believe him...the cheeky boy.

Or should I believe him? Is it silly to sexualise such a situation? Does it really matter whom you share a steamy sauna at midnight? Should I feel guilty for somehow lusting for a threesome in this moment?

Questions, questions....and I do not know the answers. The only thing I know is that I will be here for another few months, and the technician too I guess, so I better find a solution...

BB starts a B&B and The Technician is back!

In case you wondered, no I hadnt been lynched by the Thai lovers for my slightly negative account of gay dating in BKK.

But, a wonderful debate has started with fellow bloggers BKKDREAMER and KAWADJAN stepping in too and all of us receiving a respectable amount of comments, which are irreplacable for the discussion!

Thank you all for your contributions. I have many more (self-critical) thoughts on this topic, yet I will rest the case for now.


Yesterday, the technician came back from his trip to Chiang Rai to see his boyfriend. He frantically waved me, when he saw me again, and was disappointed I didnt come to talk to him into his office.

Today, I spotted him looking at pictures of two kissing guys, one him and one his boyfriend. How sweet. Two hours later, as I went to 7/11 he was chatting with some guy who undressed himself...

I told mister technician that I am going to bed and that i'd come talk another day. He lifted his shirt (why???) and waved me goodnight.


Tomorrow morning, my new French faghag friend is arriving from Vientiane. I met her through my other French faghag, who accompanied me on my trip to Laos.

New faghag works at the French Embassy in Vientiane, and therefore we stayed at the Ambassade de France au Laos. How classy that was!

Ambassadeur Bitchofbangkok, sentez-vous à l'aise, s'il vous plaît! Que mes plaisirs soient les vôtres...

Ok, I'll stop the babbling now. I am going to offer my BB Embassy quarters and my king size bed for madame FFH2(French Fag Hag 2). Me and FFH2, who by the way LOOOVES Asian men, are gona have a great time in BKK, I am going to show her what la Cité des Anges is made of!

Why do you love Thai boys? - the criticism

With the publicity comes the disagreement, especially since I wrote about a topic as sticky as Thai boys. For most people reading this blog probably admire Thai boys. However, I have been surprised as most people actually agreed with my points.

Let me respond and clarify.

First of all big thanks to fellow bloggers Kawadjan and Bkkdreamer for taking up this topic and supporting my point.

Kawadjan writes in his usual colourful way:

"While it's very tempting to add my views on the discussion, for now I'd keep my opinions on the matter to my self coz I'm obviously not as courageous as BoB. Let's put it this way, both posts made me nod my head several times until I nearly broke my frail neck."

Bkkdreamer who has lived with his Thai boyfriend for several years and says about him:
"At times, he has been all of the above. It depends on when you ask me. " and: "Fine, I say: You try living with one!"

For the criticism, an anonymous comment (by the way why are critiques always anonymous?):

"What little benefit is gained by sticking people in a box and labelling them though I am sure it keeps you self satisfied. Nothing more worthless than a stereotype. How can you hope to find a connection with your long list of requirements /pre requistes. The crimes you accuse the locals of are common in every country. Shitty sex,one night stands, liars & cheaters, people afraid of commitment where is this wonderful place where these things don't exist? And the fairytale of the one true love now you really sound like a Thai BOY"

Another anonymous commentator on bkkdreamer's blog adds:

All of this 'Thai guys are this way, Thai guys are that way' kind of complaint is usually a front foreigners put up to avoid responsibility for the type of guys they choose to be with. There is a certain Thainess to Thai guys- of course- but there is a wide range of levels of age, maturity, employment, responsibility, affection, skill in lovemaking, etc.If you find there is a pattern to your choices, the place to look for the pattern is in yourself, not 'Thai culture.'

Unsurprisingly, I was criticised for stereotyping. Yes, claiming that a whole country is like this or like that is of course a bit daunting and as a matter of fact, there are always exceptions to the rule.

In this case however I stand by my point and believe the (good) exceptions are few.

How can you hope to find a connection with your long list of requirements /pre requistes, you say.

Well, if I want to commit to someone, he better be compatible with me. Why would you NOT need a long list of requirements?

If you have good sex with someone but the rest doesnt work, that's called a f*ckbuddy. If you get on really well with someone and perhaps even like each other, yet there is no commitment, you are gig.

"a front foreigners put up to avoid responsibility for the type of guys they choose to be with"

really? who is stereotyping here? Think again, mister anonymous, I am not some sad old queen hopping from Silom to Pattaya and back to the gogo-bars of Surawong in the hope of finding my "true love".

"Different levels of age, maturity, employment, responsibility, affection"?

All done, from 22 to 32, mostly from Bangkok, from executives in big businesses, to teachers, to office workers to students. I do not know how to be more broad...

Also, I have seen a number of Thais complaining about the exact same issues.

Yes, you may actually not agree with what I wrote because your own taste may be different. I wrote from a subjective point of view, about the troubles of a farang-Thai relationship in my case.

The pattern IS in Thai culture. Yet I am not meaning to judge Thai people. They just have a different way of conducting relationships, which I believe is not compatible with mine.

Also, it's not their fault they do not speak English well. It's mostly our fault that we do not try to speak their language. I am trying, but it's not very easy.

I do believe these relationships are possible, but you need to bring:

TOLERANCE

read bkkdreamer's blog, and you know what is meant here. Thais have a totally different relationship to things such as money for example.

They will also happily take a phone call during sex, possibly even from their boyfriend, and then go on having sex after the call.

They can also ask you to be their boyfriend, only to walk away totally disinterested a few days later because they have probably found a "toy" which is more fun to play with. etc....

If you can tolerate their ways and love, the attraction or the good sex is stronger than the annoyances, go ahead...

Why do you love Thai boys? - Revisited

So I had my rant, or lets say - carefully crafted argument - about seriously dating Thai boys.

One fact that I want to get straight. I might have sounded like an angry old queen. That is not the case - I am a bit disappointed, but mostly I am puzzled about the gay appeal this country has, yet its boys are unreliable, unpredictable, mostly not good in bed, speak a different language, live in a very different set of cultures in general...

so what's the buzz about? Where's the magic I didnt see?

The readers gave me some answers, mostly comments and one email. They have been very interesting indeed.

Prominent blogger BKKDREAMER is equally puzzled: "I too would like to know why Thais have a reputation for being such great lovers when so few appear to be aware of the importance of fantasy."

TAO gives us a philosophical answer (as always:): "It is the looks, the child like joy and excitement. But the negatives that you mention, which are positives initially, are also why any such relationship is doomed."



WAS ONCE agrees: "Thais work on impulses.They eat when hungry, sleep whenever tired and have sex whenever they want "fun." If you happen to be in the right place at the right time you are lucky. Considering this a relationship when you do is all to common mistake."


Indeed. I could not agree more! Many people talk about their "Thai boyfriend", which is often closer to wishful thinking than to the truth.

Only mister ANONYMOUS seems to have a different experience...having managed to find "gems"....you tell us where they are please!!! We want too!

I also received a sober and wise email from a reader called Robert. Robert is in his 60s, has started his gay life rather late and is now looking for a place where he can still find intimate contact with a youngster.


For him, that is Thailand. And he is under no illusion anymore that he can find "love" and "the right boy". Much the same conclusion as mine, however for slightly different reasons.

He concludes that "to expect nothing is the best course of action".

Just while I am writing this, I got another, extremely interesting comment, which tackles the whole issue from a different angle. ME TOO thinks we may have to look at ourselves first and think hard whether what we expect from a Thai boy is reasonable or not.

He writes: "Yeah they want a sweet and kind, beautiful Thai 'boy' who will be child-like and loving." And later: "Eventually, the balloon bursts not perhaps because of the Thai, but because of the hot air everyone creates. Maybe the Thai don't know how to be what the outside world expects over the long term... They are just living, breathing, sleeping, eating :)"

These are interesting points but somehow back my "cultural difference" argument. We misunderstand each other constantly, even just with friends.

Lastly, I would like to say that I am actually not just talking about a dream-like setting that I expected. I do in no way want to judge how Thais lead relationships. I just believe that they are not compatible with my values and expectations.

Yes, I was looking for a boyfriend but the reasons which prompted me to start this discussion, are trivial every-day life experiences, which for me personally would make it near-impossible to start anything serious with a gay Thai.

My personal desperation paired with the enthusiasm with which thousands of gay tourists and new residents come here to find a Thai boyfriend makes for a strange cocktail (to pun intended) which I am trying to explain.

After all, our final judgement will be defined by what we expect. And Thais must be the best people in the world to package something ordinary into something extra-ordinary.

Why do you love Thai boys?

I am pretty sure that about 98% of the people reading this blog are totally fascinated, in love, enamoured, ravished, captured etc by Thai boys.

WHY?

This time I really, really, really want to hear from you, why do you love Thai boys? Why do you have a Thai boyfriend? Why do you travel to Thailand to meet Thai boys? What's so special about the "brand" Thai boys?

Send me your exciting opinions!

But let me make my point first!

I have recently begun thinking more seriously about Thai men again. I have started to talk to some guys again online and realised that even though we can talk well, I could NEVER imagine a relationship with a Thai guy.

SEX?

In my mood of excitement and freedom, I had sex with most of my meetings here. I have a list somewhere but cant find it right now - I think it was about 15-20 people. People of all sorts of backgrounds, shapes and ages. It turned out that most encounters were average, if not below.

There was hardly any innovation, fantasy, passion, even technique...I met no one who could kiss well and barely anyone who could suck my little bitchofbangkok down there well.

Generally, after a non-existant foreplay of about 2 minutes, my partners would ask me for condoms. Well at least they wore the protection...

Given the disappointment, I wonder why Thais are possibly the world's most famous prostitutes, sexworkers and moneyboys...

However, I must mention one case with whom I totally clicked on the sexual level. I have never told you about him but the first time we met, I gave him an orgasm which gave him a mini-heart attack.

When he ejaculated, he felt a sharp pain in his head, collapsed onto the shower tiles and mumbled weird things...after that he remembered nothing and had a headache for over 2 weeks...

So, it's not the sex. What else could it be?

THE LOOKS?

The looks. It's a matter of taste of course. Here, I must admit that Thailand scores really high! I can see it every day.

Thai gays know when they look good. And if they dont look good, they do everything to look good. And even the ones that do not try can have gorgeous features!

But would I date someone just because they look good? No.

THE PERSONALITY?

For those of you who are in a relationship with a Thai, how do you do it? Do number 1 and 2 really outweigh 3?

A few days ago, my good mate Kawadjan and me definitely decided that there is no Thai we would consider dating seriously.

Among the things we can not stand are:

Unreliability. basically, Thais work on impulses. If something appears to be good right now, if something tickles their fancy, it must be done or bought. See bkkdreamer's story of yesterday.

countless stories here. no-show because of "rain" and all sorts of reasons. Hi-so guy who, after kissing me on the BTS thought that the next time I should invite my friend too...and the hi-so guy 2 who wanted to be my boyfriend on wednesday (I didnt believe a word) and said he had "no feeling" on saturday.

Loyalty. I have met at least 5 guys who told me they have a boyfriend, mostly after sex. As far as I have seen and heard (quite a lot), everyone cheats. Long live the gig culture!!!

If it happens, it's treated more like a minor accident, such as spilling a bit of water on the floor...oops!

Conformity. I love individualists, people with their own taste, their own opinion, their own thoughts. That is hard to find here. Thais want to fit in groups and are taught not to have individual opinions.

I saw it in my class...my (nation-wide known) professor told me Thai students are bad because no one teaches them to disagree. I see it in fashion. Some celebrity wears a particular style, everyone else will do it.

Language problems. The differences are huge. It's just a fact. I do not believe in the fairytale love stories of couples who can barely speak each other's languages.

A proper relationship needs a common language, for daily entertainment but also for important discussions. And pleaaaaaase, do not tell me your boyfriend has a great sense of humour if he can amazingly detect your obviously placed tiny little bit of sarcasm.

Out of all my encounters, I had very good discussions with one gay, and he is my classmate at the elite-uni of the country.


It doesnt work, the differences are too big, values of Thais (if they decide to apply them for once) do not match with mine...it's a no go. Bangkok must be one of the worst places in the world to find a boyfriend!!... Now over to you please...!!