Friday, July 31, 2009


Do you like my picture?

Thailand a lost paradise?

My last article about HIV provoked a lot less reactions and opinions than I thought.

one commentator said that he likes my serious articles but doesnt want too many. I am sorry but I cant write about hot steamy sexdates, police arrests of foreigners, delicious food or fashion...if you want to read about any of the above, visit my blog friends please...

"Was once" said that many thais think they are not gay and therefore cant catch HIV...

so in that case, HIV is still a gay issue? globally it certainly isnt, but I am not sure about thailand...

I am thankful to prkmk, because he took up the topic of safe sex. We all take risks. Nearly everyone has done it. prkmk even asks whether sex with protection is really sex?

Well, I think you are going way too far here. thais see "sex" as penetration of someone, for me, that doesnt have to be the case...

yes, oral sex is a different story...we all do it unprotected, yet the risk is not zero. But from what I read, it's negligable unless you have a huge cut or wound in your mouth.

I actually talked to one of these guys who commented on We are having an interesting discussion, and he wants to know if it's a HIV+ person's duty to tell their sex partner about his status before sex. what do you think?

I am reading on gayboythailand that I will probably be scammed by 4 times at suvarnabhumi (by king power, by people steeling valuables from baggages, then by customs and finally by the taxi mafia) before I am even in a taxi.

Whereas Silom Farang knows well enough that Thailand isnt facing the last judgement, commentators on his blog are up in arms!

They sense that their boy-paradise will be taken away from them any minute.

Even though I have been away from Bangkok for a month, I have my opinion on this.

Firstly, Thailand is a developing country. Therefore, foreigners can not expect things to work as smoothly as back in Sweden/Australia/UK/Germany. there are pot holes on the street? hell yeah, it's Bangkok, not Hamburg. There are people trying to rip you off? Hell yeah, it's Bangkok, not Geneva. People can be rude to you? Of course....if you dont treat them with respect, the will give you what you deserve...

All the expats know so well that Thailand is a superficially judgement-free zone, where rules are there to be bent or even broken, and mostly no one cares about. Dont tell me you dont enjoy driving 140kph when you drive in Thailand. Dont tell me you wear a helmet on bikes. Dont tell me you dont see prostitutes....

Now that the proclaimed paradise is showing some cracks (due to the economic downturn and the political situation, which aggravates the downturn somewhat) the expats moan and whinge...

Excuse me, I think it's just simply rude behaviour. We are guests in this country. If we dont like how things work in Thailand, we can complain in a reasonable way - or go. Most expats are in such a comfortable position that they could go back to Norway or wherever at any moment, and the state would pay them their retirement, or unemployment benefits, or some payments due to chronic illness...

Thais however get nothing. They get laid off, they get nothing and have to find a new job as soon as possible. And I certainly hear them whingeing a lot less...

Lets see at the end of the day how many of these whingers and moaners really leave...what will be stronger? Their desire for security and orderliness or their dicks?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Lets talk about HIV/AIDS

Today I want to write, or maybe even start a debate about HIV and stigmatisms.

When I was a teenager, I didnt directly come out to my parents. Instead, I used to have pictures of my crushes next to my bed, and made sure that when the door to my room was slightly open, people could see the pictures.

I also once gave my dad a copy of "Attitude", the UK gay magazine, and asked him if I can have his credit card to get a subscription. I dont know what he thought, but if I were him, I would have been even more disgusted by the sex-ads at the back of the magazine than I am myself...

I also used to go to a gay youth meeting, every week on Mondays. When Monday came, I told my parents: "ok, I am off to xxxtown" and I drove off.

I dont know what they thought, but I'm pretty sure they realised that I was gay. The only thing that my dad ever told me, before I officially come out, was that I should take care, having such a circle of friends...

Take care of course meant that I should not contract HIV/AIDS...For my dad, a modern man, not much over 50 years old, HIV/AIDS is primarly a sickness that gays have. And I dont think he is the only one...

Fast forward a few years. I had real fear of having contracted the HIV-virus several times in my life.

I remember two occasions very well.

Having freshly arrived in New Zealand - and soon met my second boyfriend, we had unprotected sex. Shortly after, I continued having throat problems. They were severe. One time, I couldnt swallow anymore (food that is:) because my tonsils had grown so enormously...I even got antibiotic injections IN MY ASS!!!:)

It turned out I was fine...

Having freshly arrived in Bangkok etc.....I didnt meet a boyfriend, but we were "gig" (kinda dating...). Somehow we loved having sex with each other. He was usually bottom, but he was confused about his identity, so he wanted to try top...

He just played a bit around my ass.....and suddenly it was in and he was fucking me....without condom! I took a moment to gather myself (because it felt good........) and told him to please put on a condom.

A few weeks after this, I got sick. Throat ache, body pain, fatigue etc....(except fever). I was sick for weeks, and got rashes too. I went to the doctor and asked about it. She only laughed at me...

I couldnt bear it anymore, I was literally worried sick, obsessing about the I got a plasma test. It cost me 3600 THB, but it was worth it...

I was lucky, but others arent.

Today, I read a moving story on, written by a gay Singaporean who was not as lucky as I was. His story is written in four parts, where he writes about how he found out about his fate, how he broke the news to his family, how he can live with the disease thanks to generic medicine from Thailand, and how the gay community deals with HIV-positive people like him.

I really urge you all to read this. There will be two more articles appearing on the next two Fridays.

A few things struck me about his story.

The fact how he found out and subsequently was treated by the officials (that was in the 1990s) seems shocking. No one seemed to care, and officials seemed to treat him like an outcast already.

He also describes how he went through the famous five stages Kübler-Ross Model of how people deal with grief or tragedy: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Then, his brother found out through the insurance company, and confronted him, in a supporting way. After his parents, who to me sound like the "typical Singaporean parents", working hard and emotionally distant, also supported him, he felt like a big burden was taken off his shoulders.

He had someone to share the burden and then pain with and didnt have to face the challenges alone.

In the third part, he talks about the medicine he has to take, and mentions that it costs him 1,500 SG$ monthly. Singapore does NOT subsidise anti-retroviral drugs, which are lifesavers for HIV patients.

I personally find that scandalous and typical of the nanny-state. In their judgmental and naive view of governance, the Singapore Government really believes that they should punish the ones at fault like a teacher hitting students with the stick 50 years ago.

The writer regularly goes to Thailand to buy locally-made generic drugs which are affordable to him. He says: "Every time I make my drug pilgrimages to the Land of Smiles, I am humbled."

There we go, there are good things happening in our country...and of course the European pharmaceutical companies cringe...

In the fourth part, the protagonist talks about the social context of living the disease and the stigma. Some people would accept him as he is, others however would not want to be in the same room as him anymore...

Through this stigma, many "positive" people will not tell their partners, or sex-partners, the parents, or in fact anyone at all, because of the fear of becoming an outcast.

Lastly, and this is the most shocking part for me, he writes about contemporary hook-up culture in the city-state.

I had noticed on that people started asking me for "high" or "chem" sex and I had wondered...but apparently such practices are widespread. According to the writer, most chem sex is done without protection...

One member commented and told us his own story. He is a young Asian man living in Australian. Apparently he fell in love with another man and they were just about to enter a relationship, when the other person found out through a third party. The other person said that this raises too many issues with him - and left.

How sad...

These stories, combined with my own unequivocally tell me that there are two problems with HIV. One is the disease itself, and the other one is the social stigma.

It is saddening that people who already suffer have to suffer even more, thanks to selfish humans who, upon hearing the three letters, want to do nothing else but run away.

Even though I am not HIV+, I have already felt a hint of this stigma too.
When I was afraid of having contracted the virus, I was not afraid about my health or my future, I was only afraid about having to tell my parents how I failed them...

Some of you may remember the story of the "lumpini boy". I wrote about him here and here. I slept with him, and I think he is HIV+, but we never talked about it. I do think that his strange behaviour has something to do with him fearing to be stigmatised.

I must say that I would have not changed my behaviour, would I have have known. I think I would have treated him with more respect though... Other Thai people I talked to however, disagreed and thought that I was crazy even touching him...I find this very unfair!

Finally, I want to invite you to please comment or email me if you have any story to tell or know anything about the gay culture in Thiland and Bangkok and HIV. While I was scared, I read many studies, and found out that apparently 30% of gay Bangkokians have the virus. I was shocked!!! However, the story was conducted in Silom, so I suppose barboys and such are a bit over-represented...

I have read a few stories about young Thai men who have suddenly died of "cancer"... the same problem of stigmatisation again.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Round deux - part deux

My blog has recently been as interesting as a Mongolian steppe...or a New Zealand country-town I suppose...far, far away from the bustling metropolis of Bangkok. There, nearly everyday something would happen, or something would give me an impetus to write about a topic...

Our environment truly shapes us!

Now that doesnt mean my life is boring, all you bad shrinks out there. I am simply in the last week before thesis submission, and working roughly 13 hours a day...that only leaves time for eating, sleeping and watching movies....ahemm...the documentary sort of course;)

After 13-hour writing marathons, discussing literature, concepts and academic fields, my writing brain cells are dead for the day...

that's why, I have to rely on my dear friends to inspire me...thank you kawadjan:)

he wrote a post about second chances in relationships, and obviously, I felt immediately inspired...

well, me and my bf, we are second time offenders too...

I used to think that second chances are an illusion and deemed to failure. After all, we are still the same, people, prone to the same mistakes and behaviour.

My thought was that two people always fall into a dynamic, not just relationships, but also friends...if then, both parts are still essentially the same person, I thought that you are always going to fall into a routine: the same conversations, the same arguments, the same sex, the same things you do when you meet up.

The problem is, at some point we are so accustomed to our partners that we somehow also dont want to live without them, are happy that he is there (I dont mean waiting at home with a plate of spaghetti....more metaphysical...)

And behold, it may be even more than may even be love... perhaps in some couples, the people really love each other, but are just somehow unable to have a relationship...

I actually think that probably quite a few couples will end up in a loop-situation...break-up, enjoy the freedom, missing the ex, getting together, getting tired of each other, break-up, etc...

In my case, I left my bf because I felt too held back. I had dreams and energy and I felt that we were living in a boring relationship and didnt give each other anything anymore...

After a few weeks, I started to miss him...I watched his pictures on facebook and thought that he looks way more attractive than I always thought. I even changed my network on facebook when he changed his, only so that I could see the pictures again...

Then, after one month in Thailand, I wrote him an email. It was Songkran 2008 when he wrote back, and immediately called me.

The rest of the story is here and here for you to read:)

We ended up together again and it was a gut-decision. A few months ago, when I was thinking about my professional future, I felt like I was held back again, we were nearly headed for the eternal loop...but something clicked in my mind that night, when I seriously thought about just walking out.

I think it was the realisation that nothing would come from nothing. My boyfriend is extremely loving and devoted to me. But this is not eternal, and I realised that I had to give him more devotion too...

That sounds like a pretty simple step, doesnt it? But it really isnt - at least for me. My bf is a very sensitive person, sometimes worrying a lot, probably due to the way he grew up. (and now I dont want you to come and overanalyse please...I dont even know him well enough for that...)

I suddenly realised that I actually have to stop my activities sometime when he is not feeling well, and not see him as an inconvenience when something silly happened. Even a much smaller gesture like listening to him for a few minutes on the phone when something went wrong is absolutely crucial...

And again, it sounds so simple and easy, but it's really not! Especially when you are like me, and have an impulsive character...even a small argument with shouting can help...

In China, we shouted at each other for the first time since we know each other (in 4 years that is) and it worked wonder. All the bad, sticky air was gone, and our minds felt fresh.

I am just thinking about these scenes in American TV series or documentaries when couples go to the, here we get their relationship back on track. They are always told to write down or tell each other what they hate about each other....we did that in the centre of Guangzhou:)

But, the journey is not finished yet. In the olden times, were we a straight couple of our age (he's 24 and I am 26 by the way) we would have been married and had two children already. That's another topic though...

As gays students however, we are flexible, can move and dont have much that binds us, except our mutual love...the next test will come soon enough, we will have to try to find jobs, and hope that they are within reasonable distance.

The way things look, I'd be happy if we'd live within a 3-hour bus-ride...but lets see...even if we may face difficult challenges, the way we have grown as persons and as a couple will have prepared us much better to face them...wish us luck:)

Oh, and by the way, say hi to him....he's reading the blog too now...:)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

thai moneyboy and bitchofbangkok on the farm

My friend's farm

Just before, I got a message from an occasional chat-partner, a Thai moneyboy. He has many thousand views on his profile and seems to be famous.

I really dont know why he is a favourite with farangs, the average countryboy looks better than him I time I saw him in Centralworld having Japanese food at 4pm with a Dutch tourist (including Lonely Planet Thailand).

Anyway, the moneyboy said he wants to relax on my couch because he is drunk from having brunch with his ex-boyfriend.

He can not stay at his ex-boyfriend's place because said person is now with another boy.

The competition seems fierce and farangs seem to have all the choice. I suppose that is to YOUR (the reader) benefit...

He said: I am on the way to your home now, give me your telephone number. I told him that I live in a home and not in a hotel. And that was it then...

Good morning New Zealand!

Last Friday, me and my two friends visited another friend from University on her country-farm.

My farmer friend is not pregnant and has a handsome Irish boyfriend who says he'd love to visit Thailand. I suppose Thai boys would be happy...:)

Two doggies?

The young couple also have two dogs and a cat. I am still trying to figure out whether I am a cat- or dog-lover. Maybe it's the same as with top and bottom - you can also be both!!!

Dogs are cool because they like to be with you. They are sweet, sensitive and there is some real, meaningful interaction. Nearly as meaningful as with taxi drivers and somtam ladies in Bangkok, just without them asking if I have a Thai girlfriend:)

But, dogs smell. And I cant stand that smell!!!!

Or a kitty?

Cats on the other hand are bitches. You call them, they turn around and face the wall. Who knows what they think when they face the wall but they are far bitchier than me!

Suddenly they lash out with their cute paws and slash your skirt! Dangerous kitty!!!

But, they are soooooooo beautiful! And have a silky fur and best of all, when you pat them they purrrrrrrrrrr.

So, the jury is out. What am I and my bf gona get one day? :) I suspect we still have some time before we need to make that decision....come to think of it, I would love to be a dad....I really mean it!!!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Thai universities, Thai manners

While doing research, I stumbled upon an informative internet site for foreigners coming to study in the "Land of Smiles."

The site quite extensive and administered by a German lecturer. The German lecturer lives in Chonburi Province and Bangkok. I am sure he is here because of the great reputation of Thai universities (not). I looked at his pictures and have a lingering feeling he is one of us...say "hi" if you read this!

Studying in Thailand gives you one great advantage, and one great disadvantage. You get a visa for one year and it's cheap. I had a 40+ Swiss classmate doing this. He did NOT pay one satang for a year though.

After nearly a year, a student finally had the guts to tell him that he should stop studying, since he is not paying the fees. (The office ladies were too shy to tell him, because he begged them). Now he is teaching English as a Second Language at my university (which is meant to be an institution of reputation....)

Since I heard that, I have lost all the minimal respect I had left for my university.

The disadvantage is the quality of your lecturers and co-students. If you have foreign lecturers, they are not here for the teaching...

Back to the internet site. It has a page on "Thai Social Etiquette". The content is copied from a book, supported by the Ministry of Culture.

The chapter "Everyday Etiquette" made me smile.

It gives you advice on how to behavein everyday situations in Thailand.

The first picture is cute. When you talk to a lady, you are meant to be humble and make that extremely feminine gesture. It is not allowed to raise your head and fold your arms on your chest.

It also tells us how we should walk:

Walk in a natural, relaxed manner, taking steps that arc neither too long nor too short.
In walking, good manners mean you do not do the following:
Turn your body this way and that way.
Move your head about.
Put an arm around someone's neck.
Put your hands in your trouser pockets.
Show absent-mindedness, straying into people's way or blocking a passage.

Walk in front of your boss or superior as if you were leading him.

Now, as farangs we love walking behind Thais, dont we. They never "turn their body this way and that way", they never "move their head about" and they are never "absent-minded, stray in our way or block a passage". Never ever...;)

If you havent gotten it, I am being ironic. It's in fact one of the things farags despise the most. I hear frequent complaints about the above issues...

There are more things we can not do when we walk:

Refrain from holding hands in public as it may have undesirable implication.

Oh, what undesirable thing could it mean?

If you walk like the two men on the right, people might just think you are G-A-Y. And the repercussions for this are huge in Thailand, as we all know.

"A well-mannered Thai will not lie in a public area, or lie in his home with his foot pointing to anyone, or remain lying when he is spoken to by someone older than him. He will not lie down in the presence of a lady or a new acquaintance."

Tell that to the moneyboys! You no point feet me, it lude! You wait I lie down!

"A Thai person usually says prayers at the Buddha Image altar or in bed before lying down. He will never lie with his feet pointing toward the Buddha image."

Have you ever encountered that? I have, with one data I cannot remember and with my (girl)friend who visited me in farangland. I was a bit surprised... when I wanted to ask her something and turned around to look at her, she was praying on the bed...

The manners in "clothes-wearing" are hilarious:

"Some people are not very clear about what to wear on different occasions."

Oh really? I am VERY clear:P

The lady on the left is welcoming a party of men in her night gown. Can not!!!

"When at home and a visitor comes, do not welcome him in your nightclothes"

Well, I am naked at night, so I suppose that is a good avice...

"Be reasonably well dressed when you go out shopping.
Wear a party dress for afternoon tea party or cocktails.
Men wearing suits should have at least one button done up.
Men do not roll up their sleeves as if getting ready for a fight."

The first one is really true. Here in New Zealand, I see people doing their shopping in pyjamas or even huddled up in their blanket! Thais however really do dress up when they go out...

However, I see men rolling up their sleeves all the time. How else would you survive in the 35C heat? It doesnt mean we are all going to fight....

Then, manners in coversation:
-He does not ask personal questions such as: How is your ex-wife/husband now? How much do you weigh? How old are you? How much is your salary?
-And he does not get personal saying things like: I see you've gained weight. You've become so dark.
-He does not gossip.
-He does not talk shop with someone and exclude others from joining in the conversation.

No, Thais NEVER do these things. In fact, gossiping is the national past-time number 1. If you tell your Thai friend a secret, everyone else will know your secret at latest by the next day.

And Thais never ask your age, salary and your weight. In fact, EVERYONE asks this!!!!

I am wondering about this manners book. I think it's the "model" Thailand that we are meant to believe in.

The modest, gentle, considerate and polite, smiling Thai.

The reality is of course very different. I wonder if there are any discussions about conservative values and manners in the Thai public guess is that people would rather not think about such things too much since that would mean contemplating and questioning your own, and your country fellow's behaviour.

What do you think?

Anon Shrinks, French Ambassadors and straight problems

Good morning everyone. I am happy to report that I lead a good life and I am on the right path.

I heard from fellow blogger bkkdreamer that his "anon" shrink apparently let him know that the scathing remark on my blog was not his. Apparently he did not need to comment on my blog because I am a young fellow and lead a wholesome life...

Dont misunderstand me, I am not bitter about the previous comment on my blog; I just find it amusing how some "anonymous" people out there discuss us bloggers - and eventually come to drastic conclusions.

Today, I am meant to meet the French Ambassador at a seminar. I already met him about two years ago and he is - well - FRENCH. There are no Muslims in his country because everyone is French! etc... I wonder what scandalously French opinion he will have this time:)

Later tonight, me, my Peruvian and my Kiwi friend will drive into the hills to visit a study-collegue of ours, who lives on a farm with her husband. She is about 26 and, pregnant. And she was all ashamed when we heard of her pregnancy and came to congratulate her...

In the mean time, ultra-straight New Zealand is forcing more straightness on me...

When I was walking home last night from an exhausting study-day, I walked behind two dolled-up girls. It's the beginning of the term here so everyone is in the mood to get pissed and laid basically.

The two girls were loudly discussing sex. "Have you done it since last week?" "Have you dont it since you last met him?"

One girl asked the others a plethora of questions. Either she was jealous for her getting laid so frequently, or because she was a lez and into her...

As I passed them, they were ashamed and chuckled. But when I was about 2 metres in front of them, they continued their discussion. "Did it hurt?" "Yeah, the first four or five times but now I tell him to do it harder because I dont feel anything..."

I should have turned around and said: "girl, try getting it up your ass and then we can talk again!"

Come to speak of it, I do not remember my first anal sex at all. I dont even remember whether I was top or bottom. Identity-crisis alarm!! Am I now a queen or a king, a gay or a man? ;)

My flat is now infested with Dutch straight guys. They are real blokes. One guy arrived from San Diego on to visit his friend here in Christchurch, before returning to the Netherlands.

San Diego boy says "man" about twice every sentence. "Hey man, how are you doing man, have a good night man...." etc...

Yesterday, they invited a Kiwi bloke and had a few drinks. I overheard them branding San Diego guy "gay" because he bought a nice jacket...then, something about "dont hug me, are you gay"?

They sure had issues out there - it seems....

At least they do the dishes....

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

unhappy blog-reader, akaroa visit, straight flatties and gay life

Recently, I havent been up to shagging a Thai boy, exploring moneyboys in Silom or spending a relaxing time in the steamy sauna with my bf and the technician of my condo.

Loyal reader "anonymous" deeply resents this and gave me a scathing assessment of my blog.

"I hope your life is far less boring that your posts, which have gone from unoffensive mildly amusing posts from a white queenie white student in Bangkok to derisible silly opinionated rants about your boring life in New Zealand."

Thank you for your accurate assessment. The exit is to your right my love.

Seriously, why are you even reading my blog? It has been around for more than a year and you had about 365 days to get lost already, so why didnt you a bit earlier?

Apart from that, and on a more serious note. My life is not boring and I am making something out of it. How could you possibly judge on someone's whole life on the basis of such a silly blog?

Seriously, this topic creeps up time and again. Especially with bkkdreamer's and my blog. Stop judging about the people's lives on the basis of mere texts...we bloggers have a life besides blogging too...

Actually, I need to tell you that I am not in NZ for a few weeks, I shall be back to Bangkok. In the meantime, bear with me and broaden your horizons a bit:)

Two days ago, my friend gave me his Toyota Celica for two days. It was only yesterday that I could fully benefit from having a car.

In the afternoon, I packed my bags and drove off to Akaroa. This little town is on the Banks Peninsula, about 1.5 hours away from Christchurch. The drive is very scenic as I passed farms, an estuary, orchards, hills, the coastline and even had to climb and descend a rather high hill.

Arrived on the hill, the panorama is gorgeous. I also chose a gorgeous day. Winter, I reckon is the best time to visit Christchurch - IF the weather is ok. The colours were colder but more interesting than in summer, when the landscape is all but green or brown.

Of course, my camera decided to throw a tantrum and did not work. The battery was empty...

I arrived in Akaroa just when the sun was about to set. Or so I thought...winter sunsets in New Zealand are gorgeous and last forever!

On the way back, one of the most magic sights of my whole life suddenly appeared around the corner: Behind the whole chain of the Southern Alps, from the right to the left, the sky was illuminated in an incredibly intense red.

The estuary in front of me reflected this spectacle so that every car passing this sight stopped and marvelled at its beauty....truly gorgeous. I just wish I had my proper camera with me...

On to another topic...straight male flat-mates. This is one of the worst situations you can live in. I warn you and I am speaking with confidence here, since hardly anyone of you is a straight male anyway.

Today, the two Chinese blokes left. Now it's just me and a (straight) Dutch man. The kitchen was nothing short of disgusting. Half the dishes were soaked in a puddle of grease, water, rice and shrimp remainings.

Action had to be taken. I deserve a medal of honour and have to re-iterate that I never ever lived with a straight guy who did dishes and kept the house clean. Poor, poor women of our earth...

After two weeks of silence, my gaydar is slowly picking up signals. Today, I went to my favourite Korean restaurant and apparently the owner, or just the personally had changed.

Instead of a moody teenage girl, a smiling young man welcomed me and my friends. I watched him as he proceeded to talk to girls. But there was something odd with him, he also talked and smiled to guys, in a very sweet way.

When we left, he asked us, which one of us was the Korean person. None of us, we replied...The man tried to make conversation, and sent me off with a big sweet smile - I think he's PLU :)

Just before, when I put out the disgusting rubbish of the two straight ex-flatmates, two men approached. When they saw me, with all my boxer-shorts glory (in below zero temperatures nonetheless), they eyed me, and stopped talking.

Also gay? Or just aghast at my non-matching combination of orange-red boxers with a blue-grey shirt? :)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sunday in New Zealand

A Sunday in New Zealand. How does that sound? Well, I find that strangely, for many people, it's a day of routines.

This is of course not only a New Zealand observation... When I still lived with my parents (more than 7 years ago), we used to have a big breakfast, which was more like a brunch.

Meat, bread, orange juice, jam, cheese and two sunday newspapers. While my mum and dad preferred the one that's read by the masses, I preferred the more upmarket newspaper.

It had just the right mix of political news, serious business matters, a good fashion and lifestyle section, a bit of sports and a nice travel articles. It was the newspaper for the "discerning reader"...:)

In New Zealand, my Sunday used to start quite similarly...miles and miles away from my family, I did much the same, with the boyfriend as an ersatz-family.

For nearly a year, I had to drive him to work on Sundays towards lunch time. I dropped him off at the mall (see, everything revolves around these bloody things) and went about my own business.

I had two phases. One was the active outdoors phase. In summer, when the temperatures are solidly hovering around 15C during the day, sometimes going as high as 30, sometimes as low as 10 degrees, I picked up my bike, put it into the boot of my car and drove out to the countryside.

I had a love-hate relationship with my car at the time. A green Saab 900 made in 1994, it was a beautfiul, elegant, edgy and sublimely comfortable. But, it was not very reliable. I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on new parts until I got scared that it might one day simple die on me. I sold it.

When I didnt drive out to the countryside, I 'd head straight to the supermarket and, since I was hungry, bought tons of cheese, bread, spreads, olives and so on.

And...the Sunday newspaper. Here in New Zealand, it's called the "Sunday Star Times", and isnt exactly what you'd call "quality journalism". Still, it was entertaining, and came with a little magazine called "sunday".

On a sunny sunday, I'd lie down on the bed in my sun-drenched room, eat my breads, spreads and olives and read "sunday".

Fast forward two years.

Today, I got up early. Well, I heard an sms and jumped up. I realised quickly that I'd slept through my 8.30am date with my friend to take him to the airport.

I put on any clothes I could see (no matchy-matchy, kawadjan;), looked into the mirror (I actually looked rather ok) and ran out. I did not even put on my anti-wrinkle cream though...

My friend, who is from Peru and has a Jewish-Polish mum, who lived in Spain, was flying up to Auckland for two days.

He asked me to take care of his car for the time and I was thrilled at his suggestion. You see, in Christchurch, living without a car is like living in a wheelchair.

You can do most things, but it's horribly inconvenient to get around.

In the back of the car was his "friend". (I think his fuckbuddy or semi-gf or something though) She didnt speak English, so I had to resort to other languages.

A few minutes later, I was driving a car...I hadnt done that in months!

A cute little Toyota Celica. I remember how rougly 18 years ago, mum, dad and me (I was a cute little boy with long, straight blond hair and big cheeks!) drove to Italy for our first holiday - in a red Toyota Celica!

The super-celica. Isnt that a beauty? Ours was red though...

I headed to the supermarket and bought - the sunday newspaper!

Today's Sunday Star Times

What did I find in there? The usual boring silly bits, and as a compensation a few funny and scarily opinionated editorials.

One guy who keeps writing for the newspaper is a middle-aged ex-Member of Parliament cum Mayor of a smalltown cum radio broadcaster cum writer. (for the interested, google "michael laws")

He's notoriously big-mouthed and always writes about sex. I dont know why a politician can seriously write a half-a-page about sex every sunday. This weekend, he said that women prefer "old gentlemen" to "mummy's boys".

He is neither, so I dont know where he fits. Up to you...

Another column was more interesting. The woman wrote about the New Zealand Prime Minister, who is notoriously (a bit too) chummy with important people.

Apparently, he said to the Tongan King that his english is probably much better than his own. From a reliable source, I also know that the Prime Minister, upon being asked a question while having dinner with the King of Spain started his reply with: "Well, King, .....".

Hahahaha, that has to be too much.

NZ Prime Minister John Key.

There was also gay content in the newspaper. By the way: I am sorry I cant report on any gay things here, such as flirts, observations, good-looking men etc...such things are extremely rare here...

A columnist wrote in all seriosity that women's sports should not be taken seriously, is only for lesbians and is just watched by men because they are horny creatures.

Well, I have never had these feelings, but I still think it's a handful to write such things in a mainstream newspaper...

Readers might be more interested in the rugby-section though. Next weekend, the All Blacks are playing the Wallabies of Australia. Everyone is gearing up.

The capitain of the All Blacks, Richie McCaw, himself quite a handsome man, has returned from an injury. Here, you can see him celebrate a victory with his friends.

Richie McCaw in the middle

I hope many Thais read this, and will never ever call me "fat anymore". Compared to the fella on the left, I loook as slim as a gazelle on a diet!

And now, before I go back to reading "sunday" magazine, look at the advertisement below. I think it's funny.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Mall Culture, a Hungarian Onion, a Heater and a Wine

We have two winners. International Mister Gay 2009 is MISTEEEEEEER Switzerland.

How strange...I thought the Swiss are about as known for producing interesting, funky and hot people as the Thais for producing a good wine...

The second winner is Sepiroth. It was long overdue that some smart brain found out where I am. Of course, Aotearoa, Land of the Long White Cloud, or New Zealand, as most of you will call the country.

Mister Sepiroth was not quite right though...I am not a Kiwi. But I AM in New Zealand. Christchurch if you want it more accurately. You can check all the farangs in Christchurch now and see whether they look like a bitchofbangkok.

The moon...beautiful, isnt it?

I think I owe you a little bit of an explanation over my mall/suburbia-rant from a few days ago. Even though I sometimes rant, and people get offended, I do have my reasons for voicing an opinion.

Let me keep it short though. Most people will say: Let the people do whatever they want to. If someone decides to have 2 Hummers, 3 Ferraris and 2 Benz SUV's, a dog, a child and a house in suburbia, let them do.

Well, of course we are a relatively free society. But, I still can not quite support that argument. I believe in the regulatory power of the state. Americans would call this "liberal", Europeans maybe "etatist".

I think the Government is there to guide us. We do not care enough for our environment and live in an extremely inefficient society. We live hours away from work and every person drives to work in their own car. Cares produce way too many emissons and so on...

One more time, la luna

Also, when I walk around in Christchurch, everyone has a house and a garden around it, and a huge fence around the garden. How many times do I see people use the garden and enjoy it though?

Rarely. Having to "keep up" the garden is the only activity that normally takes place there. I had a friend who studied here. Her house was home to a grand total of 4 people and 5 cars...

Then the malls. Malls, at least the way they are designed here, contribute to extreme uniformity and encourage people to be less and less creative. You go to the mall, get your groceries (ok, not everyone can go to the market), get some clothes (from some boring brand), have a coffee from Starbucks...

At least café-culture is well and alive in New Zealand, especially in Wellington. Here, believe it or not, I have had the best coffees outside of Italy.

Good morning Christchurch

At my university, I had to change room. I moved from being neighbours with a Hungarian Christian fundamentalist to being neighbours with a gay-hating French Arab.

The Hungarian man is nothing short of crazy. He discussed gay marriage with me recently and of course, at some point the argument will be: "the bible says this". Then, you are disarmed because this is the ultimate argument. After this, the discussion is finished.

He recently got divorced from his wife and according to him, its the fault of the New Zealand Government. They gave her a house, he complains. I rather think she desperately wanted to leave him, and got support from the NZ Government. Well done!

Now, he ordered a new bride from the Philippines. He proudly chats to her about 4 hours a day and calls her frequently. Her pictures hang next to his ex-wife's at his work-station.

According to the Hungarian, Filipinos are good and civilised people, because "they are Christians, they wear shoes and dont eat with their hands".

My friend found porn of her on his memory stick when he was helping to print out a document. Maybe the Hungarian is just a horny middle-aged man and not as saintly as he thinks he is.

The Hungarian likes to eat raw onions, because it prevents him from getting Swine flu. I thought I was back in Thailand when I heard this...

After his onion feast, the Hungarian in his entirety, the whole room and according to my best friend, even the lift smells like onions. Goodbye, I said and moved next to the French Arab gay-hater girl. Lets see how we get along...

She was shouting at her mum in a mix of Arab and French on the phone for nearly 30 minutes today...a good start..

Dew! I remember that Thais travelled to the North in winter to see dew. Come to Christchurch I say:)

The office is ultra-happy to have me around. Bitching and gossiping is on an all-time high. If there are a few people huddled together in a corner, talking about someone else, I will be part of that group for sure!

My friend calls us the office-bullies.

A friend who has met me through this blog has said that I sound extremely feminine and bitchy. Well, it's my name. In real life though I am a manly bear...hahahaha, kidding. I am not a queeny boy though. And I am certainly not quite as evil as you might think.

But, if someone is rude to me, I will try to be at least double as rude back to them:P

Tonight, I am having a wonderful night. I am drinking a Pinot Noir from Central Otago (for people who dont know wine: "a very good red wine"). It's from an area called "Mount Difficulty". That makes me wonder how the mountain got its name...

I also bought a little fan heater. OMG, I nearly died last night. It was below zero and my hairdryer died. To me, my hairdryer is about as crucial as the umbrella to my bf. We can not live without them!!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

International Mister Gay 2009

We fags love looking great, so it is no surprise that we have a beauty pageant too. This one is called "INTERNATIONAL MISTER GAY 2009". I suppose to have a chance to be chosen you need to be gay, and that's about it.

I have chosen some representatitives of countries. Frankly, I am a bit disappointed. Especially the quality of the pictures...

You choose...which one do you like?

I will tell you the real winner tomorrow.

Here are the contestants:

Mister Gay Australia. Quite a body, eh!

Mister Gay Brazil. Qute!:) Looks like my first bf with his curly hair!

Mister Costa Rica....Ay bonito! He looks good I think.

Mister France. Looks like he is 16. Kinda qute but, the picture.........oh my.

Mister Guam. Does anyone but the Americans and Pinoys among us know where this "country" is situated? Look at his face and you know. Between Asia and the Americas:)

Mister Korea. What a body. yummy! but a face made out of candyfloss...

Where do you think this man is from? Netherlands? Belgium? Great Britain? No.....he is Mr Gay MOZAMBIQUE!

This young many looks interesting...some kind of mix. No wonder, he is Mr Gay NAMIBIA.

Mr Gay Peru. Sorry but I can take a better picture of myself right now, if you wish, unshaved and -showered even.
Mister Philippines. He looks Thai to me. He will probably be your favourite. Qute but same same many other guys, no?
MIster Scotland is not wearing a kilt...he has a hot body nevertheless...
Mister Switzerland. Where are the cow bells? Anyway, the star tattoo is hot! And so are his undies, and his butt too:)
Mister Syria......he looks a bit evil...

And this is our own representative, Mister Gay comment. We all know there are hordes of better-looking people on the streets of Siam...
My favourites are Costa Rica, Switzerland and Namibia...

Monday, July 6, 2009

miserable farangland

Farangland is still the same. It's cold and cloudy and I have a 10am-8pm day at university, followed by some quiet moments in my dorm-room.

Over the weekend, I went to town. It was a Saturday afternoon, not that cold and not rainy - quite nice! The town where I stay is actually a really beautiful city, not very big, but not small either.

There is plenty to see in the town centre, yet there was no one there...I walked around, past the cafés, the clothes boutiques, the souvenir shops, the book shops and it was all empty.

For a moment, I was wondering whether there is a public holiday, but those dont really exist in farangland here..

From my 3-years experience of living here, I remember countless shops who have come and gone in the main shopping street of the city, some are even empty - that can not be a good sign. And this is not due to the recession, because even when farangland's economy was doing well, some of these shops were empty.

Then, I realised something. Half of the people out in the street were Chinese. Another few Korean or other Asians. The white faranglanders were missing. Where were they?

Typical farangland butchery

I spotted a trailer in the middle of the main shopping street. The man sold donuts and coffee. He was a typical faranglander.

A rough man, a bit of a beard, rugged face, a jacket, some worn-out jeans and a big smile on his face. He asked me and my friend how our day was.

We told him: We are just having a day out. Then I asked him: Why is it so quiet. He said: If it would have been sunny for 30 more minutes, the people would have come out to town, now they went to the mall (it was overcast, but not rainy at all).

The f*cking mall. I hate them. Everyone goes to malls in farangland. It's that dirty American suburban culture mixed with the traditional "rite of passage" for every faranglander to own his little wee house with a tiny garden, the so-called "quarter-acre dream".

A Faranglander's dream, he/she will work for this life for decades.

How long does it take until people realise that this dream is fake and over. My town here is rather small but it has traffic jams, and rush-hours because EVERYONE takes the car to work.

The malls here are miserable! They teem with bored people. Families, old people, young people, teens, schoolkids. People are bored and cold - lets go to the mall. The mall numbs people's minds - they dont have the creativity to do anything else anymore.

When I used to live in farangtown with my boyfriend, we had a miserable life too. We both like to be among people. Faranglanders however commute between their TV, their car, the mall and work, that's it. So we used to go to the mall too just because we could not stand the quietness of the house or the neighbourhood.

My University on a sunny day

Farangtown is a tough city. It really tests your sturdiness. If you dont have friends, a boyfriend, a car and either creativity and energy, or indifference, you will become depressed.

Right now, I am fine. I have a boring and monotonous and immobile life. I do the same every day but it's ok, because I have a job to do. My happiness is measured in the numbers of words I write every day. If it's more than 500, my mood is good, if more than 1000, my mood is happy.

I want everyone who lives in Bangkok, Thailand, or elsewhere in Asia, and is not happy with their lives to think and reflect on their life.

Dont you like stepping out of your condo, and the next taxi comes right there?
Dont you love having a midnight snack with your friends on the roadside, BBQ chicken, somtam, etc?
Dont you love being able to walk down to 7eleven at 2am when you realise that you want some Orange Juice, MaMa Noodles, or a lollie?
Dont you love that you dont need to think about what combination of clothes you are going to wear because a shirt and pants will do? (ok that one does not hold up for kawadjan and me:))
Dont you love having people around you whenever you step out of your condo?

It's better here after all, isnt it?

Maybe you dont realise all these things, but when they are gone, you realise how you have gotten very used to all these niceties.

p.s. the farangland pictures were taken last year. this year there wasnt any light yet to take the pictures. someone turn the light on please?

a saying from farangland goes: may the last one to leave farangland please turn the light off.

I think they all left....?!?!?

Friday, July 3, 2009

facebook bitching

I am sure ALLLLLLLLLLLLL of you are on facebook.

Ever discovered when you add someone, you already have like 5 common friends? Or that when you are curious, and you click on someone who has made comments to your friends' pictures, and then you see that you have like 10 common friends?

I am not talking about close-knit circles of friends here. I am talking about the rice-queen/potato-queen society. I am not kidding you but there seems to be something like that emerging on facebook...

I can seriously not believe this. I had a Thai friend (really, just friend) who told me about this Swiss guy that he was totally in love with and that they had such an awesome time together... (I better not write more, because the people might even read this!!!)

Thai friend told me: look at this profile, mister Hans Meier (name changed). I looked at the Swiss guy's profile and promptly, he's a friend of a Malaysian friend too, avidly commenting on both guy's oh-so-cute and oh-so-hot new pictures.

Today, I added someone else on my friends list (hey, I only have like 140 friends, mostly not even gay), and he had someone on his friends list that I heard of. I clicked that heard-of expat's profile.

Boom, 4 common friends. One of them lives in London, one of them in KL and two of them in Bangkok (that dont know each other at all).

What's going on here? I am starting to think something...the circle of Westerners, often (s)expats, and I am talking about under 40-year olds now, who do this "online-thing", is only so big...

And on the other side, the circle of Asian gays who like Westerners exclusively, or partly, and network with them online, is only so big...

Smallish community, and smallish community, heaps of networking, THAT is the result: A tiny community of a few thousand people...

I think that for many people, facebook is like a with bigger profiles and more information. There are these Western guys on facebook who have like 3400 friends, ALLLLLLL Asian boys. For them, facebook is apparently a tool to get to know (and fuck?) Asian "cuter" than the other. good on you I say, but it gets odd if we share like 10 similar "friends".

Who am I to judge them though? Well, I have built up a circle of online-friends from all over the world (mostly in Asia though) who are actually friends. Not the really close ones but still, friends.

And then to see that there's something like a copy of you out there who either has done the same and is flirting a couple of them, is just so strange. It feels like a disarmament of my achievements, like I am having countless stalkers.

I am mostly using facebook as a tool to really connect with my friends, who are all around the world, because I have lived with them, they are part of my family, studied with them, partied with them or in a few cases, chatted with them.

Many layers of friends go into facebook, it's like a projection of my life. I have some friends in farangland who said they quitted it because they spent too much time on it, I couldnt!

Just one thing, I want to warn you all. It is SO EASY to find information about you on facebook, who you hang out with, what you think, where you live, your phone number, your blog, your email, your preferences, your flirts etc

My advice is: do not put too much of your info out there, you may regret it when someone finds out:)

Pictures from farangland

I went out and got my fingers frozen while taking some pictures with my newly acquired tripod.

The weather here in farangland can be amazing, with low clouds passing at high speed. That gave some pictures a nice effect of a "moving sky".

While I took those pictures, a security car from the university passed me at very slow must be indeed odd to spot a guy with a tripod and a big camera at 9pm on the street.

3 days in farangland - still no sun

I have arrived in farangland 3 days ago, and have not yet felt a ray of sunshine on my silky skin. People said I look tanned when I arrived. I suppose when I go back, Thais will love me even more because I will be pasty white!

So far, I dont mind the weather so much. It's nicer to walk when it's 10 degrees than when it's 35 degrees, actually. The more I walk, the warmer I get. In Bangkok, every minute spent walking means more sweat!

I am living at the dormitory at university, where I am sharing a flat with two Chinese men and a Dutch guy. Just before, I have finally met the Dutch guy, so now I have officially seen everyone.

I dont really care about them, but they seem nice. I care about my friends at university. Well, there arent many left sadly, because most have moved elsewhere or are now busy working.

I study in a relatively small department. We have one big study-room so gossip gets around quickly. That's good entertainment but also a bit tedious when you actually want to work.

Let me tell you two stories. When I used to study here two years ago, we already had the "in"-group and the "out" rest. I belonged to the "in"-group of course and we were a bit mean.

In the "out"-rest is the Korean poodle. I do not like her for several reasons. She moved to farangland from Korea at the same time as my bf.

For example: When she met my bf (who is also Korean) for the first time, she blurted out: "oh my god, I thought there are no gay Koreans". How stupid!!!She is an educated young girl who has lived in relatively open-minded farangland for 12 years and she said something like that.

Yesterday, when I met her she shouted through the room: "oh by the way, I heard you are now with a Thai boy after you left *** (my bf)". Since then, I have not talked to her anymore. Shouting such untrue things in a room with about 20 people studying is not appropriate.

Then we have the Hungarian Barrel. He is called like this because, you guessed it, he is Hungarian and looks like a barrel. He is one year younger than my mum, extremely religious and divorced from his wife of 18 years.

That's why he has decided to get himself a Filipina bride from the Visayas. He proudly shows the pictures of the wedding rings and her pictures to everyone. First, I thought she was a ladyboy, but now I think she is actually a woman. Hungarian Barrel is going to pick up Visaya bride in two weeks and hopes to take her back to farangland.

I want to see her and gossip about the Philippines, but I am sure he would be jealous...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Arrived in Farangland

I have arrived in Farangland!!!

There is not much to report. The city is dead as always. The temperature is not much above 0C but it's nice to see some friends again.

I will be with them for about 5 weeks, trying to finish off my thesis.

I am now staying in the university hall. I have not shared a flat for many years and am not so fond of it. Lets see. So far I have met a rather dorky-looking Chinese guy by the name of Figo (I suppose like the football player).

Figo and his friend are on a mission to listen to the farangland lecture about Business Administration and then teach exactly the same course in Wuhan, China. I dont know if this is legal.

That brings me to China again. I noticed that so much was copied from Western brands or styles. Western people, especially American politicians always like to emphasise how dangerous China is. I think that if their self-confidence is so low that they have to copy everything, American politicians are not right.

Back to my stay in cold farangland: I flew Emirates - and was deeply disappointed. The seat hurt my legs because it was too high. The headphones broke, the seat was half-broken, the inflight entertainment broke and the crew was very lax, joking around at the back of the plane while I had my problems...

They also didnt have my choice of meals twice. I am normally not so picky about meals but I dont eat EGG (pretty much the only thing I dont eat). And they only had omelette. Thank you very much...

I want to choose Singapore Airlines again, they are far better. Sadly they were also a lot more expensive...