Saturday, December 27, 2008

Massage

The people among you who live in Thailand will know what I talk about now. Even though we may be horribly annoyed at some of the peculiarities of living in the Kingdom, there’s always a surprise moment just around the corner that will amaze us to the point of us forgetting all the negatives and annoyances.

I had such a moment recently when I went to massage. Whenever I feel that my neck is a bit tense, I go to the massage place down the road. It’s kinda huge and like a temple and it’s not a sexy one. It’s not quite cheap but the quality has convinced me every time. This time, a lady from Petchabun province got to “honour” to massage the young farang. It was a rather fun and a really astonishing time. Miss Petchabun soon found out that I can speak Thai (some at least) so she started to talk, which annoyed me at first. After a felt 30 seconds and the usual questions, we already reached the topic of boyfriends/girlfriends. I don’t know why the Thais love this topic so much but at least it’s within my vocabulary. I said I have someone from Korea. She then went on to say how pretty Korean ladies are, to which I replied that I have a BOYfriend who is a man. She giggled and apologised. “soryyyyyy” Miss Petchabun was quite surprised that I am just with THIS guy and I don’t have other boyfriends...but then no wonder she is surprised because even she has a boyfriend here (apart from the hubby in her home province– a guard at my condo!!!! But that was not it. Miss Petchabun then started talking about gay things – or rather people. Her son, 10 years old was apparently gay. She told me that he is already behaving like a queen and that he likes to go to the men’s shower and toilet and watch them. Also, he loves to touch a man’s ass. Amazingly, miss petchabun found this totally ok and normal – she seemed very proud of her son! Then, Miss Petchabun went on to say that she has a gay nephew with a French boyfriend here in Bangkok. Then, she also has a younger brother, who has 3 boyfriends, from Germany, USA and Switzerland. The Swiss one comes to Thailand twice a year and built a house for Petchabun. She couldn’t emphasise more clearly that the Germans and Americans are Jai dam(black heart) but that the Swiss is jai dee (good heart). Apparently, a house is the least their family expect from a farang boyfriend not to be called “black heart”. The Swiss one, she said really only loves her brother because he is taking good care of him. Well, I am sure that’s no news for many of you who read this blog but I am surely surprised every time when I see just how different the meaning of “love” can be...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas

Christmas for me isnt what it used to be. At home we used to celebrate three times, one time with mum, dad and my two brothers, then with my dad's family often with guests from the other side of the world and then with my mum's family. It was always great fun (for me), especially the contrasts between my dad's family (lots of chaos, silly presents and bad food) and my mum's family (ultra-planned, every grandchild gets 1500bht (40US$) worth of presents and the food had been the same for the last 60 years).


Xmas at Siam Paragon. Dont ask me what Thai girls throwing some middle-ages style flags in the air has to do with Christmas.

Since I moved away from home, it meant less and less to me. Sometimes I would celebrate half-heartedly with my bf and sometimes I would be with my aunty. Now in Bangkok it's not too different. Strangely it reminds me more of Christmas in the Northern Hemisphere than in the Southern. It is rather cool (well...sorta) and there are no silly bbq's on the beach. Otherwise, I must say, Christmas here is actually a lot more honest than in the christian "west". It's about shopping, holidays and the lights. I think that's what it's mostly about in the "west" too, only that of course there are more serious christians who celebrate it for what it originally meant. From that point of view, I really enjoy christmas here. I am not a believer in the gospel so it always used to be about the family and a bit about the snow (which never came) and the romantic athmosphere. I miss that. But then again, for 5 years I had heat and bbq's and hardly any family so I forgot the feeling.
Xmas here must also be the flirting season. Additional to the clothes salesguy and the temple man, I had intense eye-contact with a Chinese ├╝ber-cool tourist with two fag-hags and the clothes salesguy from "keven" in Siam Centre. I dont know what I am doing wrong (or right)...I think it has to do with my newfound, much more manly and adult looks.





Xmas at Siam Paragon


As I was talking about the meaning of Xmas, I cant not write about what the Pope said the other day when he was talking to his dear followers in the Vatican. I am tolerant of all religions and think they are a great thing if they enrich people but I have no respect for the pope. He said that that the church should "protect man from the destruction of himself (meaning homo- and transsexuality). He then made this alarming comparison: "the tropical forests deserve our protection, but man, as a creature deserves no less". (Source, The Guardian).


I dont feel I need to comment a lot of that but I am astounded that the catholic church is so concerned about gays, lesbians and transsexuals. What are we doing to anyone else?

I read the online-comments to an article on an internet-site of my home-country and normally about 2-3 people comment on stories - on this one however over 100 commented, largely being angry and dismissive of what the pope said.


I am quite proud of my country-fellows for taking a stance in support of tolerance. Some interesting comments (not literally translated):



What does he know about sexuality anyway, he is not allowed a sexual life.

If we were to subsitute "gays" with "jews" we'd be back at the holocaust again. (bb: the pope was a member of the Hitlerjugend (hitler youth)



Whatever catholic is silent at this verbal crime is just as guilty as the people who didnt oppose the nazi's in the third reich. (bb: ok this is a tough comparison, but interesting)

In the true spirit of Christmas, I wish you a happy celebration,




LOVE YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS AND PARTNER and GO SHOPPING, the bargains are good this year!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Bangkokbitch complains to the BBC

I had always found that the coverage on the newswires in general was a bit too much on the sensational side, never really saying that in general this city is safe and that if gatherings and demonstrations are omitted, there is zero danger for the public, especially for foreigners.
however, when I watched the news before and the bbc's jonathan head was speaking about the new Thai government and simultaneously, the PAD siege of the airport was shown, I felt that this was entirely unfair coverage. Thailand doesnt need hundreds of additional people thinking that the airports are closed and Bangkok is at war. Please stop showing these pictures BBC, they are amazing pictures but the airport seizure is part of the past and will not happen again for sure (at least in the near future).


Here's my letter:


Dear BBC,I would like to comment regarding your coverage of the Thai political crisis especially the recent siege of the airports by the People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD). Overall, I have found your coverage accurate, informative and well-worth watching. The comments by your correspondent Jonathan Head deserve special praise.


However, I would like to criticise you on two points.


Firstly, the coverage, especially accentuated through repeated pictures of people shooting, throwing objects and being armed, created an image of a dangerous city nearing a civil armed conflict. In fact, only very isolated violent incidents did happen but only in designated areas and not involving foreigners. I live in Bangkok and through these days, would I have not watched television and read the news, I would not have even known about the conflict. I also had received many enquiries from friends and family about my well-being. I believe that the BBC has failed to emphasise that at no point was there a danger to the general public and that violence and unrest was only confined to very few areas.


Secondly, I have just seen a short news article on the new government here in Thailand and while the correspondant was speaking, pictures of the airport siege were shown. I believe that this is utterly unnecessary and again distorting the image of Bangkok. To the unsuspecting viewer, these pictures suggest that right now, there is a violent protest going on in Bangkok and that Bangkok as well as Thailand in general is an unsafe destination.I can see every day here how slow business is for thousands of people and how few tourists have made their way to Bangkok. This is of course not the BBC's fault but I wish the BBC would stop conveying the image of an "unsafe" Bangkok.


Thank you for your otherwise very reliable reporting.
Bangkokbitch

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The sales guy and the temple cleaner



In the last two days, I had two odd flirt-situations. I don’t know why but these days the people seem extra-ready for flirting. It cant be the festive mood because there isn’t much that is celebrated here around this time of the year.
Anyway, It was my birthday yesterday. Two days ago, I went to the mall with dad and my two friends from class. I saw that my favourite clothes shop had a big big sale. I decided to take advantage of the sale and checked pants. With jeans or pants, it’s always essential to try them on first prior to buying, everyone knows that.
Yet, there was a Chinese Thai sales guy who told me with a smile that I cant try on because it’s sales. Well, somehow my two friends and him started talking and suddenly he agreed to measure me up and then measure the pants to see. Even though he was a bit shy (and me to by the time) he took the measuring band and first stood right behind me and then knelt down in front of me. Gosh, my imaginations went wayward. We then joked around more and he said I should try them on and take off the other pants. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOP. Later on, he also gave me his “personal guarantee” that the pants would fit. I call that a very good service and I shall be back to that shop.

Yesterday, me and dad decided to go to Nonthaburi, as we both were seeking a bit of diversion from the ubiquitous concrete desert in Bangkok. Having arrived at the pier we took a tuk-tuk to the nearby temple. The temple is quite amazing, mixing up Thai and Chinese architecture.
I took thousands of pictures (ok not quite) when a guy with a broom walked past. Maybe about 30yo, Thai-thai, a bit shorter than me but quite a sporty appearance. He looked at me and walked past, and I followed him, because I was walking in that direction anyway. Then there we were in some remote part of the temple. Him cleaning the floor, me taking pictures. It was awkward but also a bit exciting. Exchange of a few glances. Then I went past him to the other side as my dad called me. Dad told me he is going out and will wait for me. Cleaning guy walked past again and this time we exchanged big smiles and I said ‘wat dee krab. He was positively surprised and said oh, puut thai duay (and you speak thai too...). Well, more didn’t happen of course since I am a good boy.
My bf got this cake for me. So sweet isnt it?:)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Temples and Buddhas



You guessed it. I took dad to Ayutthaya. Actually I enjoyed the city very much. The old town is a mix of a normal if not a bit neater typical Thai small city and of the majestic ruins of the former capital of Siam.
We rented a bike and ventured out to see temples, buddhas, and also some temples and buddhas - and even some temples and buddhas too. Dont get me wrong, they are ALL amazing but there's only so much I can take. Luckily we went to the "Cultural Studies Center" which had amazing displays of how the city used to be. However we were the only visitors there! All in all, there were hardly any tourists in Ayutthaya except the odd frenchman and -woman.



Maybe that's why the high-school boy just blatantly stared at me for seconds and seconds while I was ordering food and eating it for lunch. The student was cute with big eyes. He is well on the way to becoming a fag:) I wonder what dad thought though. I must say that eye-candy-wise, Ayutthaya has been by the the best out of all provincial towns I have been. Maybe the proximity to BKK or maybe just luck/badluck.




The results of the day: a red neck and chest and many many pictures. I will share both with you. And please put a cold towel arond my neck, it's still burning hot!!!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

bkk tourist photos

Since I am a tourist in BKK these days, I took some pictures. Not so many yet, there shall be more but certainly enough to present you with a little compilation. Enjoy!
By the way. I had non-experiences with two gay taxi drivers today. The first one was funny. I flagged him down, told him my destination. He agreed. At the next intersection he asked me: left or right? He suggested right, I said left. He then said so much in Thai that I felt he told me his whole life-story. And such a camp voice. His face really didnt look like his voice...While I was thinking that he stopped. I then understood that he didnt know the way to my destination so he didnt want to take me.
On the way back from Thong Lor (soooo hi-so...hehehe) I flagged down a taxi driver for my dad to bring him to his hotel. I saw a young guy behind the wheel and smiled a bit. He was one of these tallish, skinny guys with longish hair and a cute face. Fair enough. He didnt know the way to dad's destination. But then he suggested I should show him the way. I couldnt and only later realised that I should have let him wait and flag down the next one for dad. In the heat of the moment I didnt realise that and told him: mai pen rai krab (dont worry). I was stupid:(


p.s. tomorrow: day-trip to Ayutthaya!









Friday, December 12, 2008

why i hatelove thailand

These days, bangkokbitch-dad is in bangkok for a short visit. it's very exhausting. dad cares for "attractions" and I am more a "general-feel" traveller. that means, he wants to see what the guidbook recommends and i'd rather just walk around and get the feel of a place. so in bangkok, I dont really know that many of the "attractions". never mind, dad is self-reliant.

his hotel is around sanam luang, where at night, the navyboys come out to sell themselves. dad said the other day: "you know, there were guys pissing on the wall and they all were so nice to me when I didnt know my way...". I wonder what dad was up to. I also told him about ladyboys. He said - and I quote: "beauty is beauty, doesnt matter what gender". Ooops. Also, he meets his former collegues once a year. One woman said: where's your son these days? Dad: Bangkok. woman: oh, he's having many girlfriends. dad: no, one boyfriend. way to go dad!!!!




today we went to k-buri. the one with the bridge. it's a nice town actually - very touristy of course. for, lunch, this girl-waitress came around and said to her older waitress-friend: "oh, farang lor maak maak". (the foreigner is handsome). We then started chatting away in Thai (as far as I could of course). I knew the vocab for that kind of conversation though. Do you have a feen (bf/gf)? I said: Yes. She was discouraged but came back. Is your feen thai? No, Korean. Oh, do you speak Korean or English? Does he live here? Why do you stay in Thailand, why dont you have a Thai boyfriend? Oh, well....she was really cute actually. Dad's comment: "She likes you because you are different from the others, you speak Thai so it's not boring with you". That's sweet of dad!




Then we walked down the road to get to the war cemetary. About 300 people wanted me to buy a book about the bridge, postcards, take a tuk-tuk, take a taxi, take a songteaw, go on a boat trip, go to the restaurant, have a massage and rent a motorbike. how could I do all of these? I decided to said "mai ao" to all of them. Differently from bangkok however, they didnt walk away when they notice you can speak thai. they just go on with the same blah in thai....Look, dear people. I do seriously understand that you are not so rich and you are having a hard time this season because of some special events this year and thus, you need MONEY - the big baht. And Im happy to give you a fair and generous tip if you are nice to me. However, if you are trying to be cheeky little bastards, you get nothing. Zero, nada, niente, rien. I really do NOT like if you are lying around lazily on your songteaw dozing off and as soon as the farang appears you appear to be stung by the invisible baht-bee and shout and wave so the whole town hears you. I wont be the baht-fairy for you, sorry. the people I hate most however are the dishonest ones. I was asking someone where the cemetary is. promptly, he wants me to mount his motocy and dad on some kinda riksha thingie. I think they are called samlor in thai. he first said: "yuu nan" (it's over there) but then he wanted to drive us and surely charge an immense price. The driver then swore about bad farang and promptly, the cemetary was about 50 metres around the corner, I kid you not!


Yesterday at Wat Pho the same story. Some guy highly officially controlled our tickets upon LEAVING the temple, made a cross and said something about free, today only and buddha. that of course is utter BS. I said something in Thai and walked off. then a guy approached us and said he didnt know the way to the grand palace (it's right in front of us). i showed him in thai and he asked us where we are going. I said "mae nam" and he said, go straight ahead. Later that night, I got dad a taxi back to the hotel. The son of a b***h of a taxi driver didnt know where dad's hotel was even though I explained him and he dropped him off at the wrong place. Also he charged 40bht "night-time fee". My dad believed him and also the free, today only guy. I used to be like this too, gullible and trusting. But Bangkok has changed me. I mistrust most people in the first place. That's a bit of a shame. I dont get conned but I am not so friendly anymore.
In this country however, where there are downsides, there will always be an upside. The upside came in the name of a pretty guy sitting on the side of the road in K-buri in a cafe with his two (girl)friends. His skin was quite fair but not colourless and his feature soft yet manly. He looked at me head to toe and back to head again and smiled straight out. I smiled back and thought that if I wouldnt have a boyfriend and a dad with me, I would have stopped and talked to him. I turned around again and he did too. It was a nice moment.

So, at the end of the day, I am happy. Really really tired, but happy. and thats what counts after all.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

two sex changes or a perfect bangkokbitch?


Well well well, what did I stumble upon in my readings in the Bangkok Post? An ad for a clinic. With a pricelist. And it's very interesting.
-Eyelids ("the Korean surgery") at 200$US. That's a piece-a-cake. Tomorrow I will have eyelids darlings.
-Liposuction. F**k I need it I am no size 28 and 55kgs (like my boyfriend). 625$.
-I am getting one year older next week and starting to get a few lines along my eyes when I smile--> Two solutions: I will NOT smile anymore or I will get the lifting. 875$.
-And just as I said before, I need to tuck in that tummy.1,250$.
Now for the new bangkokbitch...2950$US poorer but perfect. BUT WAIT...for 1625$US I could become a woman. And if I am not happy, maybe for 1625$US I could go back to man and get a new little bangkokbitch, 8 inches long and perfectly straight! I am sure they give a package. So either tummytuck, liposuction, new eyelids and a facelift or becoming a woman and a man again. Both about 3000US$. Which one should I opt for, it's my birthday on the 17th, the jury is out!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Second chances

Today I want to write about second chances. It’s been a topic that is coming up a lot lately in my life so I will share my thoughts with you.
The typical discussions revolve around second chances in relationships and even though I am currently in the second round of a relationship, I want to talk about second chances with friends.
Lately, I have come across quite a few old friends. I met them at the sale in the Department store, in the restaurant, walking around in Siam or even on a date with someone else in Suan Lumphini. With some of them, I just had a second thought about them and then decided to contact them again, add them again on facebook or on MSN (I delete people quite quickly if I don’t see potential).

The catalyst for this was really getting a boyfriend. Since I am with him, I obviously don’t date other guys and don’t sleep around anymore either. This cancels the sex out of the equation – and I think that makes many platonic relationships easier.
At the beginning when I came here, I didn’t have sex for ages and was very happy to play – and therefore always put the sex into the equation. That was a mistake. You cant make friends when you sleep with most people you meet. Sometimes it was so boring meeting people so I’d much rather just take them home, have sex and let them go home then (which they wouldn’t always do, remember?). Well now I am on a different mission. Even before I met my bf actually, I started to try much, much harder to make real friends. In all these months I hardly made any gay Thai friends. My best friends here are from the Islas Pilipinas and my straight and lesbian friends from class. I blame this partly on me, because I believe I didn’t have the patience to let something grow. In Thailand, people put on a smile and are very easy to get into bed but what’s really on their minds is very difficult to gauge. I heard this “complaint” so many times from foreingers and I think I really ought to write a bit on this at a later stage. Anyway, sometimes these guys just wanna have sex and then go away, but sometimes they are disappointed if you request sex because they hoped for something bit more sophisticated. It’s a bit of a catch-22. I don’t know. Im sure I lost a few friends or even potentially more by miscalculating what they wanted.
Now however there is no sex involved. So I actually focus much more on whether people are interesting or not. It’s a good development and I think I can rekindle a few friendships, even though it’s awkward to have a relationship involving sex first and then go “back” to pure platonic friendship. If we could only turn back the clocks and turn off our cocks sometimes!
By the way, you may have realised that I am recently only using self-taken pictures. That shall stay that way and even if they dont always quite match the topic, it makes this blog prettier and more me. I hope you like it.

Friday, December 5, 2008

the viciousness of thai gays

today I really got some attitude from thai gays for having a boyfriend. normally, they will ask straight away: "is he Thai?" Then, of course I say "no, he is not". To this answer, many seem to be quite relieved. I wouldnt know what would happen if he were thai. I shall try it the next time. I will invent a boyfriend from the countryside and lets see what they say.
anyway, two guys today werent happy at all.
typically for thais, they rarely rarely talked to me. I havent met both. one guy is from ayutthaya and sometimes calls me (about once every month). He's smart and I always had good conversations with him. however, the fact that we never met and that he never told me when he is in bangkok suggested to me that he is not so interested. I was a bit but forgot about him because he was hardly in bangkok anyway.
I told him that I have a boyfriend today. He said that he is really really sad and angry and that he needs some time for himself now. and he left MSN. gosh what a drama. I havent even met him!!!
the second guy is from some middle-class chinese-thai family. he lives near my home but we never met. two weeks ago he asked whether he can live at my home since he is having an argument with his brother. i declined of course. it's ridiculous that someone can live here that I have never met. today i told him that he knows my boyfriend (they chat very rarely). then he went kinda crazy. he said he has no people with boyfriends in his list and that I should check whether we are really boyfriends. how rude, I know my bf for 3 years and see him practically every day and this little sh*t suggests we might not be boyfriends. get a life! then he said that I am dumb and stupid. then he really really wanted to know who my bf is. i said: you deleted me from your list so why are you interested in me? he said: i am not interested in you. i said: then stop talking. wonderful, what a drama. it is still going on as I am writing.

Wow what fierceness. how come people suddenly have so much energy to write when we could hardly get further than: hello how are you? fine, you?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

small world


...provided for a surprise today.

sometimes the discoveries that we make are amazing. I am sure ALL of you have at some point been surprised by some variation of the following: a friend talks about someone and you suddenly realise that you know this person. It could be, your friends fuckbuddy is a friend of yours. Or you discover that you have been disappointed by the same person in the same way. Or maybe your ex is now fucking your best friend. Im sure all of these have happened already.


Well today something like that happened to me. I was talking to a pinoy friend who lives in Manila. He was telling me how I need to check his facebook. I went through his friendlist and discovered some guy and for some reason I clicked on his profile. I thought I'd heard that name before. He's from some small country in Europe. I then for some reason went through this guy's friendslist, it must have been my intuition. And I found no less than 14 people that I "know" too. Know to several degrees. Some are friends, with some I chatted once and they are long deleted, others came on my chest....hahaha (sorry that's a bit naughty). But I thought that's a bit weird, 14 (!!!!) people. Now this guy has about 400 friends and doesnt even live in BKK but still. I then talked to my best mate, the moralist and he said, oh it's ****. I know him. My friend fell for him and so on...and he is frequently found at Soi 4 (Silom that is of course).


Now what does all this mean? Either: I "know" too many people? Or this is a manwhore and he knows every gay in BKK? Or, this is bound to happe, even in such a big city like Bangkok.


All of the three are right. I think in the meantime I do have quite a lot of acquaintances. Most of them led to absolutely nothing! I do bump into people in Bangkok, which is a bit surprising given the size of the city. But then, the Bangkokbitch is well-known and apparently has a new rival!

Monday, December 1, 2008

getting hassled by a porn-woman

WARNING, THIS IS A BIT GRAPHIC, ESPECIALLY FOR GAYS!!!

Since I still cant fly to Tahiti, thanks to the lovely friends out at Suvarnabhumi airport, who are making sure that even in the deepest Amazon and in the valleys of the Himalayas, everyone knows that Thailand is a weird country, I spent the weekend in Bangkok exploring the city and watching weird art performances.
Today, some weird things happened. We had a lunar eclipse, which looks pretty awesome. I disovered evil, evil little bugs in my rice and my flour. And I got hassled by a porn lady on MSN.
I will post the dialogue here:
bangkokbitch: hey. are you a woman?
pornlady: hey, Age/Sex/Location? :)
bangkokbitch: how do we know each other?
pornlady: hey whats up babe, U got a webcam? finally someone adds me, I am soo fuckin horny
today for some reason lol
bangkokbitch: i am gay so I dont get horny when i look at boobs:)
pornlady: listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u do..lol!
bangkokbitch: where are you?
pornlady: I can show u how to watch if u promise not to tell anyone else how to do it???PLEASE:-$
bangkokbitch: what do you want to show me?
pornlady: well since its the law that u gotta be 18 (nudity involved), u have to sign up with a credit card for age verification! BUT.. Once you are inside, just clikc on "Webcams" let me know what name you use to sign in with so I know it is you babe! http://www.xxx.xx/ fill out the bottom of the page then fill out the next page as well and u can see me live!
bangkokbitch: I am GAY. I dont want to see boobs:)
pornlady: Please dont mention anything about that in the chatroom once u get in ok?
bangkokbitch: mai pen rai krab
pornlady: OH SHIT.. k I am late to start my show, I gotta get off msn...I will see ya inside my chatroom babe.. remember not to mention that I am upgrading u... You can use your msn name to sign in so i know it is you..


F***ing hilarious. I noticed this pair of boobs in my MSN so I thought that must be a woman. Then she just went babbling on. And she was called Geneva. Hello my name is Zurich, honey...
Lovely Geneva didnt understand that I am gay and DO NOT want to see boobies. Even my approach in Thai came unanswered. Obviously Geneva isnt a Thai girl. I think this is some kind of automated thing by the way. No idea where it came from though because I never gave this MSN address to anyone but friends. Weird. But I had a good laugh!