Friday, July 31, 2009

Thailand a lost paradise?

My last article about HIV provoked a lot less reactions and opinions than I thought.

one commentator said that he likes my serious articles but doesnt want too many. I am sorry but I cant write about hot steamy sexdates, police arrests of foreigners, delicious food or fashion...if you want to read about any of the above, visit my blog friends please...

"Was once" said that many thais think they are not gay and therefore cant catch HIV...

so in that case, HIV is still a gay issue? globally it certainly isnt, but I am not sure about thailand...

I am thankful to prkmk, because he took up the topic of safe sex. We all take risks. Nearly everyone has done it. prkmk even asks whether sex with protection is really sex?

Well, I think you are going way too far here. thais see "sex" as penetration of someone, for me, that doesnt have to be the case...

yes, oral sex is a different story...we all do it unprotected, yet the risk is not zero. But from what I read, it's negligable unless you have a huge cut or wound in your mouth.

I actually talked to one of these guys who commented on We are having an interesting discussion, and he wants to know if it's a HIV+ person's duty to tell their sex partner about his status before sex. what do you think?

I am reading on gayboythailand that I will probably be scammed by 4 times at suvarnabhumi (by king power, by people steeling valuables from baggages, then by customs and finally by the taxi mafia) before I am even in a taxi.

Whereas Silom Farang knows well enough that Thailand isnt facing the last judgement, commentators on his blog are up in arms!

They sense that their boy-paradise will be taken away from them any minute.

Even though I have been away from Bangkok for a month, I have my opinion on this.

Firstly, Thailand is a developing country. Therefore, foreigners can not expect things to work as smoothly as back in Sweden/Australia/UK/Germany. there are pot holes on the street? hell yeah, it's Bangkok, not Hamburg. There are people trying to rip you off? Hell yeah, it's Bangkok, not Geneva. People can be rude to you? Of course....if you dont treat them with respect, the will give you what you deserve...

All the expats know so well that Thailand is a superficially judgement-free zone, where rules are there to be bent or even broken, and mostly no one cares about. Dont tell me you dont enjoy driving 140kph when you drive in Thailand. Dont tell me you wear a helmet on bikes. Dont tell me you dont see prostitutes....

Now that the proclaimed paradise is showing some cracks (due to the economic downturn and the political situation, which aggravates the downturn somewhat) the expats moan and whinge...

Excuse me, I think it's just simply rude behaviour. We are guests in this country. If we dont like how things work in Thailand, we can complain in a reasonable way - or go. Most expats are in such a comfortable position that they could go back to Norway or wherever at any moment, and the state would pay them their retirement, or unemployment benefits, or some payments due to chronic illness...

Thais however get nothing. They get laid off, they get nothing and have to find a new job as soon as possible. And I certainly hear them whingeing a lot less...

Lets see at the end of the day how many of these whingers and moaners really leave...what will be stronger? Their desire for security and orderliness or their dicks?


Bkkdreamer said...

Goodness me. You certainly tell it the way it is.

I have not taken part in the anti-Thailand debate.

The critics look as if they are waging a personal vendetta. I read their stories and think: 'You really haven't made much of a go of your stay here, have you?'

For some doom merchants, the ill-feeeling stems from everyday farang frustrations with living here. For others, the causes go deeper.

Many critics believe they have been treated poorly by Thais, and resent it. The place is unsafe, authorities are out to get them.

Yet I suspect the real cause is their own sense of isolation and alienation.

In the past, some have contributed to Thai life, by making people they love happy eg caring for the boyfriend.

However, they appear to forget what they themselves have accomplished.

They like to criticise other foreigners for daring to make a contribution, as if they are naive to place their hope and trust in Thais.

The good news is, most foreigners happily make an investment to this country, emotional and financial.

If we pay for the BF's clothes, we have made an investment; it happens every day, and it's called life.

Despite the campaign of Thai hatred whipped up on some farang websites, most foreigners do not believe the country is falling apart at the seams.

We're the losers who contribute, who are getting on with life.

Yet if the critics themselves aren't prepared to contribute any longer, then what are they doing here?

As you argue here, maybe he should just leave, and take the moaning and bitching somewhere else.

BB said...

I dont mean HIM:)

Silom farang knows very well that all these scams are isolated. I think his argument is more that in the future, Thailand might become unstable.

as with most developing countries, that might indeed happen. we live in a developing country and like to accept its benefits. but we also need to accept the difficulties.

my thought didnt quite go as far as yours. I never thought of the people's motives for being bitter - but I would agree with you. non-accomplishment would be one of them, boredom too.

what my point is that the people who seemingly cant wait for thailand to collapse are probably still booking their trips to LoS (as they like to call thailand...).

meanwhile, most of the expats will stay. businesses may leave, that's true (because of the economic climate and the political instability)

I think as a young person I have a huge advantage over older people here. for many it's one of their last tries to make something work. then they discover they live in an everyday slump of the same gossipy mates, shopping malls and have hardly any interaction with locals.

young people however like me probably just spend a few years here, and move on. we can afford to screw up a bit, or not to make local friends etc..

robert said...

I really enjoyed the blog comments BB and I also really enjoyed Bkkdreamer's comments here. It has felt like a feeding frenzy of Thailand bashing. There has been very little rational discourse. Your words here are both breaths of fresh air of common sense. Naturally and for sure Thailand has many issues and probelms. It is a country of 66 million or so. Naturally on any given day there are scams, crimes and problems. I could go to any country of comparable population in the world developing or first rank and pick out news stories of crime and scams and make it seem as though any of those places were also facing true chaos. Why bother?

As a long time resident and guest here, I need to keep alert, my mind thinking, watch for what is going on and use caution. Perhaps more with the recession and the political turmoil.

Having said that I dont live in fear and I personally have had very little probelms.

Then again I am in a good and stable teacher job in Chiang mai. I am in year 7 of a long term relationship with a great Thai guy. I try to integrate and actually live in my community and that includes many Thai friends straight and gay. Life has been pretty good here and I hope it continues to be so.

BTW I am 57 year old and from the USA. I hope I have avoided some of the sorry traps you mention BB ha ha.

Anyway I very much appreciate the keen sighted remarks of both BB and Bkkdreamer. I read your blogs daily.

These comments feel sharp, real, and realistic. Much more useful than sheer drama queen hysteria and gossip. There are enough real problems here to be aware of and alert for without adding many layers of smoke, mirrors and confusion just for soap opera effects.

Thank you both.

BB said...

thank you very much for your kind comment, robert.

I was actually a bit drunk and tired when I wrote the's not very elaborate writing...

I will write more on this topic soon, at latest when I return to Bangkok in a week and probably will not end up being scammed, killed or arrested:)

greetings to chiang mai...still have to make my way up there...:(

robert said...

one day if you visit chiang mai let me know. perhaps we can meet for a lunch or something and chat. its always nice to have friends of many ages, backgrounds and nationalities.

Faraway Friend said...

Speaking of Silom Farang, I can't get his website to load today. Everything ok over there?

BB said...

cheers rob. i'll keep that offer in mind should I ever decide to go and see the north:)

faraway might want to enquire with silom farang himself...I can access his website...