Clarification

Goodness, I think some people didnt understand what the last post - and the new "send me a love letter" function is all about...

It's there so you can write me an email and you dont have ask in the comment section. I would LOVE TO GET FEEDBACK or other messages of appreciation - or also criticism.

So if you would like to write me, for whatever reason, click the link "write me a (love) letter"!

Kisses everyone

Write me a love letter

I am feeling lonely. You can now write me a love letter by clicking on the blue-text on the top right of my blog.

Of course you can also write me hate-mail, offers of marriage, the newest gossip or whatever else you wish.

the technician comes to my room

The gay stories dont stop, they just dont stop and I dont know what I am doing "wrong"??? This one however is on an entirely new level.

I think I wrote one time that a technician from the condo came to install the internet in my place and that I had a suspicion that he was gay. Surprise, surprise, he IS gay.

Yesterday, me and the BF wanted to go swimming in the condo pool. Stop, said the security guards, we are cleaning the pool. And who comes walking in tiny skimpy speedoes, mister technician. He wore nothing but his tiny speedoes and it was a sight to saviour. He is tall and a bit skinny but not too skinny - and really nice arms.

Technician

Me and the boyfriend went to the gym instead. Mister technician followed and talked to me, since the BF doesnt speak Thai and since the technician only speaks Thai. Technician said that he is going to Chiang Rai and wishes we would join him and also that my BF looks cute.

6 hours fast forward, 10pm. I come back from 7/11 and see mister technician on the computer. He asks me to sit down with him and I cant believe it...he is chatting on "camfrog", some thai gay chatting programme, with guys who are having sex!

Just imagine that, I am just sitting down with the sexy technician and he watches porn basically. Nevertheless, or maybe because of that, we manage to talk for about an hour, all in Thai. I am proud of myself but also turned on of course! Actually he is nice and tells me about his boyfriend in Chiang Rai.

In fact, it was a really interesting insight into the Thai-Thai dating scene. I doubt many farangs have a lot to do with this scene! He is cheating on his his bf and smiling it off even though he was caught masturbating on camfrog by his bf before. This is the second time I hear these stories - it is developing into a pattern...

Then, he basically invited himself up to my room because his work was finished. Here I was, letting the technician into my room at 11pm, how sheepish of me. May I cite myself? I wrote in "being in a relationship in Bangkok 3 of 3": "There are however boundaries [...] and I would never, never invite anyone to my home. That would be like buying chocolate when you are on a strict diet – you are going to eat it!"

The chocolate in question...would it have been yummy?

HA! It took me a mere week to break the boundaries....hmmmm. However, I can reassure you, I bought chocolate, very yummy one and it was already on the table in front of me, but I didnt touch...good boy!

Technician was at my place for about an hour and we browsed through gay profiles, preferably the ones showing dicks. I really wanted to try and saviour the chocolate right there and then but reason prevailed. Phew.

Lesson learned finally? After the Lao boys and the Korat waiter now the BKK technician...I must go easy on the flirting part!

Laos in Pictures - 3 of 3

Tha Khaek



Tha Khaek 2 - look over to Thailand



Khammouane province, our tuk-tuk driver barbecuing the just killed catfish






Korat. My waiter as a ghost next to the glass...


Prasat Hin Phimai, Nakorn Rachasima province

Laos in Pictures - 2 of 3

Buddha park near Vientiane

Mekong, Vientiane and playing pool with my "pool friend":)

The people of Laos

Laos in Pictures - 1 of 3

Luang Prabang on the Mekong

Night-time bowling

Bpi Mai in Luang Prabang

Luang Prabang

Trip to Vientiane, my bus friend in the white jacket!

The Laos wrap-up

The trip to Laos and Isan is not obvsiouly over, with me melting in the heat of Bangkok and my friend resting in the bangkokbitch bed before leaving tonight to go back to London. I cant wait to finally sleep in my bed again, after over two weeks of sleeping on couches, non-existing mattresses, on the floor of embassies and nearly constantly sharing my bed with a girl. I wanna sleep with a (my) boy again! And I dont mean sex here:)

How did I enjoy the trip? Whoever has been to Laos will know that it is hard not to fall in love - if only a little bit - with this country and its people. Laos is an extremely poor country, but the people are humble and somewhat more honest and endearing than Thais.

This trip, much more than any other trip I had ever done was a festival of social encounters, which has to do with both, the friendly and open Lao people but also with my own attitude an language skills.

I noticed that, like never before, I am not shy to talk to almost anyone, not just to ask how to get somewhere but also to strike up some conversation. Thanks to this opennness, I had encounters with tuk-tuk drivers, market ladies, waiters, local college students, Western tourists, Thai tourists, cooks, sellers at stalls etc.

I am discovering more and more that making a first step, such as saying "hello", smiling at someone or striking up a conversation can work wonders in breaking the ice between people!

A, if not THE key to breaking the barriers between people is language. Speaking someone else's language eases a great deal of the tention and, in the case of Laos and Thailand, endears a foreigner to the locals like nothing else. I think that Thais and Laotians feel extremely honoured of anyone who is visiting their country, wanting to know more about them and learning their language. So if you want to become popular with the locals, learn their language, quickly!

I noticed and I am still noticing that even knowing a special word for a region, you can make someone's day and change his attitude towards you, it's like you extend your hand towards him/her so it's easier for them to reach you!

Obvsiouly, as you can read from the previous post, my social behaviour got me into many interesting situations with the local gay populace. I can still not believe how many times I ended up in (sometimes flirty) conversations with locals - it was incredible. In each and every town and also in a few buses, I made some sort of gay contact. Now of course, I have the eyes of a gay hawk and I also do not shy away from showing someone if I think they look interesting, but nevertheless, it was astonishing.

After having slept in the same bed/room with a girl for over 2 weeks, I was of course also feeling a little bit like being a bit closer to a man, but it did not happen - resisting was fairly easy, except maybe in the last case. The simultaneous discussion on this blog about my attitudes towards relationships couldnt coincide better with all the temptation and opportunities presented to me on the trip.

For me, the first step is to confront myself and accept that I just like to check out and admire people and get to know them a bit. This is my character and it will probably never change.

The next step then is to think consciously and realistically about these encounters. What do they mean? Most of the time, nothing more but attraction. I can flirt with someone in Thai but my vocabulary is bound to run out after some time - and then what? Even with the waiter guy from Korat, where we had an instant and very strong connection, I quickly realised that this is not more than a little flirt and were I single, I would have probably ended up in bed with him, only to never see him again. So what's the point? Of course, I wouldnt have minded to have sex with him, in fact I wanted it badly, but comparing a bit of sex with the magnitude of a 3 year relationship, it is obvious what is more important.

Reader Joey commented: "That was close." Yes it was a bit, also because I was drunk, but actually it was not because I was always aware of the big picture...

Lastly, I just want to say a few words about gays in Laos, as I am sure, many of you are interested. You will not meet as many out gay guys as here in Thailand, in fact the Laotian society is conservative and most people live in villages, where everyone knows everyone. However, Thai youth culture is very present, especially in border towns and you will see some guys dressing like Thai teenagers. Obvsiouly, the same also applies to Thai gay youth culture.

If anyone has experience with Laos, or lives in Laos, I would love to hear more, or maybe even feature you here on the blog, if you wish to contribute something.

A near-kiss in Khorat

The last leg of the trip led me from Savannakhet, the big disappointment of this trip, over the Friendship Bridge 2 to Mukdahan and then all the way through Isan to Khorat (= Nakhon Rachasima), the Khmer ruins of Phimai and back all the way to Bangkok.

I was sure that this would be the most relaxing part of the trip since we'd be back in Thailand and since the sights would be few and rare, and the muscles and brains sore and tired. I could not have erred more.

The trip from Savannakhet across the border and to Khorat couldnt have been smoother. The border crossing was quick and surprisingly efficient - and the connection on to Khorat - a luxurious first class bus - waited for us already. The drive through Isan was boring - it was all flat, dry farmland and I could hardly see anything due to the dozens of stickers on the bus-window.

Having arrived in Khorat, we took a tuk-tuk to our hotel - 60 baht without bargaining for the not-so-short trip - I liked this town instantly! Arrived at the hotel, the owners welcomed us warmly - and were impressed with my educational credentials...

Of course, most people nearly have a heart attack when they discovered that a) the farang man and woman are NOT a couple and that b) the farang speaks Thai. I can understand their shock though.

My friend was hungry like a starving lioness, so we had settled for the first "restaurant", friend rice with water for 38 baht, including an extremely nice cook and an old lady with breast cancer who talked to us in English. She said she only had 3 months to live and it was very sad to see her brittle appearance.

Then we walked past a few bars (more later) into the "town centre". Khorat has a huge town centre but there is no obvious centre of the centre. It just has about 8x8 blocks of shop-houses and some surprisingly fashionable cafes. I liked the athmosphere - there were absolutely no tourists and the people were so friendly!

Later we went to the night bazaar, where I bought little cards to learn how to say "mango" or "pineapple" or "doctor" in Thai - cute! On the way back, I suggested we have a drink. We walked past a pub, Bule Saloon (it's not a spelling mistake!) and a handsome young man smiled at us (me) and waied. After 2 further bars, I urged my friend to go back there - much to the delight of the young man.

The following 3 hours, I will never forget. It was simply a firework of looks, smiles, talks, approaches, which all nearly ended in a big bang. The man in question is a guy from Khorat, maybe 180cm tall, quite skinny but very sporty - manly look, half-beard, short-hair with the top-part styled like a rooster, roundish face and very alert eyes. I instantly liked him - not just for his looks but also for his upbeat attitude!

Mister Waiter kept lurking around our table and I stroke up a conversation, him obvsiouly surprised at my command of Thai. I dropped the word "puan" (friend) as many times as I could so he would understand that my female French friend is only a friend! Whenever I drank some of my LEO beer, he would come and serve me with a huge smile and whenever my friend went to the toilet, he would come and stand next to me to talk, only to retreat when she was back.

Later, the place got busier and mister waiter gave me less attention. That did not change even when my friend went back to the hotel. I was now alone at the table with a full big bottle of LEO - and quickly getting drunk. (I hardly ate that day) Slowly I finished my beer and mister waiter urged me to drink more. I said: "drinking alone is no fun" and he smilingly said: "well then you should drink with someone!". I replied: "but I cant find anyone". Was that a hint?

Then, he got more and more busy and I went to the toilet one last time, before leaving. When I walked past a Thai table, I heard them utter the words "na ruk" (cute) to the waiter (probably meaning me) - I walked past him as he faced away from me.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, he ran after me! Then, he took my hand with both of his hands and bent down a bit and held his face close to mine, waiting for a kiss. I had no idea what to do and stumbled: "you are so handsome". He said: "can you please come again tomorrow?" Sadly, the only possible and sensible answer at that time was: "No, I have to go back to Bangkok" - and we parted.

The next day, I went to the Khmer ruins of Phimai with my friend, and then returned to Bangkok, where we arrived at about 8pm. The night before, and the whole day I could not forget mister waiter. He was exactly my type and I was in desperate need to get close to someone - I wanted to hug him so badly! But I also realised that the only thing which brought us (nearly) together, was attraction. I didnt even know where he was from and what he did in Khorat... (apart from waitering) so obviously, there was no reason for me to explore my options.

This experience has shaken me quite a bit and I was nervous to see the boyfriend back at home in Bangkok. It all turned out well though. I was really happy to see him back at home and we had a very long talk about temptation and how to behave in a relationship. I did confess him that I faced a lot of temptation but that, even though it may not sound like it, it was not hard for me to resist it. It was quite amazing for us to talk so honestly about temptation and understanding and respecting each other - it seems we have really matured in our relationship and it seems that as sad as it made me, I made the right decision, not to kiss mister waiter.

The wild centre of Laos

From Vientiane, we boarded the bus to Tha Khaek, and roughly a minute later, a hoard of about 10 Lao guys stormed the bus. No they did not rob us, they just wanted to sell sweets. And their technique was cruel. Give the stuff to you and ask and ask and ask and ask again. I bought one strawberry sweet and given the pressure he put on me, that was a good achievement!

The bus ride to Tha Khaek was a lot of fun. It was a non-aircon local bus, so my friend got a totally brown shirt by the end of the trip due to the dusty roads and the open windows. I on the other hand got allergic reactions on my arms, no idea why. The landscape was fascinating. All in all it looked like Australia, the vegetation, the flatness and also the colour of the earth. Once in a while we would cross a huge river, and spot dramatic mountains on the horizon.

To the front left, I noticed a boy sitting who looked a bit different than the others. He wore clean clothes and had hints of a sense of fashion. He was young but looked quite ok. He also turned around every 5 minutes or so and when I saw him, he turned away hastily. About halfway through the trip, I noticed that he belonged to a family of 8 (!) and that his parents were sitting next to me. Ouch, luckily I didnt flirt too much, but anyway, it was cute to see how happy he was to see a gay farang!

Tha Khaek is THE place i fell in love with most during my Lao trip. The city has a historic, French style centre and is sitting on the Mekong with a few bars lined along the riviera. The sunset over Thailand was absolutely fabulous. Before sunset however, we went on a stroll through the side-streets of Tha Khaek and we found Vietnamese shophouses, huge new villas, dirt roads with kids playing and many unbelievebly friendly locals. I could not believe how happy the people of Tha Khaek were to see me!

The next day, we went on a cave-trip with a personal guide which would lead us to inland towards Vietnam, where many caves as well as a lake can be looked at. The caves were stunning, especially the buddha cave, where I got a personalised new year blessing from a monk, wishing me a beautiful wife and success in football. This is also where I lost the cover of my swank DSLR camera - a good beginning to the new year!

Then we went swimming in a lake inmidst mountains. There was no one to be seen, or was there? A group of 5 boys were swimming, playing and jumping in the lake - an amazing sight! Interestingly, an older farang suddenly swam past me and eyed me suspiciously. There was also an older very feminine looking Lao guy and another Lao man on the scene, all belonging to the same group. Very odd, I could not figure out their relationships...

When I came out of the lake (of course pretty much at the same time as the guys) one guy just walked up to me and started talking to me. Sadly, I had to go as the guide and my friend were waiting for us and I couldnt really justify holding up our trip. However, I struggle to forget this guy's friendliness, frankness, and to be honest, his looks too. I just find it incredible that someone would just come up to me and start talking to me - amazing Laos.

Then, we had to move on south - to Savannakhet. I do not know what to write about this town, except that it was about the biggest dump I had ever seen. Laos is poor, I know that but the dirtiness, the dark streets, barking dogs and boys on bikes paired with just about the shittiest riverside and the worst food in Laos did not leave a good impression.

That is not the whole story though, there has to be some gay twist. For some reason, there was a restaurant cum drinking place right next to our guesthouse. I asked my friend if she wanted to drink some Beer Lao and she agreed.

As we sat down, I slowly started to notice that this must have been the local gay hangout. Out of all the people in and around the restaurant only my friend and another fag-hag were not gays. One guy eyed every single man walked past - and he was a hottie. Behind me, a femme guy listening to Thai pop and dressed like a semi-fashionable Bangkokian. further behind me, some guy sitting on the street, constantly eyeing me.

By the time I left, they had left too and I talked a bit to the three other guys who were still left. One was lovely and he told me how well I could speak Lao etc... He was nice and spoke good English too. I left soon however, possibly the right choice, because I was drunk already.

In the morning, we left Laos and right now, I am typing this from an internet cafe in Khorat.

Laos was amazing and I fell in love with this country, especially its people. There was a surprising amount of gay contact and interest and I think I could have had "closer" contact with at least four people...it was surprisingly not an easy place to be in a relationship, and to be honest, it was a serious test for me. My time in Laos of course fits nicely in with the articles I wrote about "being in a relationship".

I will go and have dinner now and write a wrap-up article about Laos as soon as I have settled back in Bangkok.

Vientiane - a mix of paris, havanna, pattaya and nong khai

After the mind-numbing but amazing trip from Luang Prabang to Vientiane, I had hoped for some city athmosphere in Vientiane. I knew that Vientiane is about the smallest capital in the world, and that's how it felt.
I managed to stay at one of the Western embassies due to the connections of my friend who has a uni-friend working there. The host, a girl has just about everything in common with me that a girl can have. She loves living in Asia, she loves languages, she loves Asian guys (in particular one), she works at an embassy (I hope I can do that too one day) so we had a blast!!!

Vientiane is an odd place. It has a large amount of official buildings but they are so derelict I felt like I was - ahm, not in the present. Vientiane also has a central axis from the Presidential Palace to the Arc de Triomphe and the famous golden stupa - all kinda similar to the layout of Paris. But that's where the similarities end.

The square next to the golden stupa looked as Soviet as things can get - huge, made of nothing but concrete, somehow shabby but strangely charming and teeming with people! The riverside of Vientiane reminded me of any random Thai town. It had cheap eateries and tables on the river for "late" drinking sessions. Only that late in Lao standards is like 10pm and the beer was Beer Lao, which is actually really tasty!

The centre of vientiane however, called "farangtown" by my lovely host, reminded me of a quiet pattaya. The bloody ho's were everywhere!! I couldnt believe it. Here I am in peaceful and innocent Laos and there are heaps of whores! Luckily I was with two girls already, so none picked on me.

Twice, my friends and I went to a place in the centre of town where there are a few pool tables and an open-air bar on the top floor. We played pool most of the time but since we were only 3 people, we invited the local bartender to play with us. the first night I didnt think much of him, except that he is a nice but very very quiet man. The second night however, it started to dawn on me. He was into me!!!

How did I find out? subtle, subtle hints. We played together in a team and everytime he gave me the queue to play, he stood right next to me etc. It was kind of cute. He was a sweet man, but very very shy...so we hardly talked. The last night, I left in a hurry because I had just lost a game 4:3 and if there is one thing I CAN NOT STAND then it is losing!!!

The next day, my friend and I went on the the wild and beautiful centre of Laos, more of that soon!

Being in a Relationship in Bangkok - Part 3

I always notice that many people seem to be searching for a boyfriend, a companion, someone who is always there for us. But when they have one, they are still seeing other people. Some people even say it's stupid to only sleep with one guy because it's not fun. I ask you, why would you have a boyfriend whom you love if you go sleep with another guy every night?

Fun anyone?

I have come across a blog called "on hedonism", written by Spaniard who lives in London. The author writes about only one thing and each and every post goes the same. He meets a guy for a date, they go to his place/the hotel or whatever and have sex. So far so good, we have all done that - it's fun.

But then comes the important part. Every time, when his dates leave, he will write how sad he felt and that he really liked the guy and that he was either hoping that more could develop or sad that nothing more would develop.

What’s going on here? I think this blog is quite representative of the attitude which many people have. People look for company, sex, enjoyment and affection. They want to love and be loved. But when the hard part comes soon after, the renunciation of things, they quickly falter.

Are you willing to have the couple life and share everything?

Do not misunderstand me. I am not meaning to judge people on a good (relationship) and a bad (single and seeing many people) lifestyle. I am just making the point that if you really want a boyfriend or at least something more than a FB, then for god’s sake try a bit harder! You cannot have both. A boyfriend and still be available is not possible.

So how do I handle this situation? Here in Bangkok, unsurprisingly, every day quite a few people flirt with me. Some are cute, some handsome, some a bit less. Funnily, most gay Thais with farang boyfriends will check me out. I look at them, because often they are nice to look at. Often, I even imagine unspeakable things. I still chat online, albeit with very few people.

There's someone out there for you - if you want!

There are however boundaries. I will never lie to anyone, saying I am single. If they stop talking to me because I have a boyfriend, I can accept that, I used to do the same. Why am I even chatting to people? I don’t know, probably because of the same reason as a flirt with people, they are nice to look at. It’s like browsing a catalogue of expensive fashion. You can imagine yourself wearing the pieces, but you cannot afford them anyway.

The same with the Thai guys, I will not try them on. I will never have a date with any of them (unless we are really friends) and I would never, never invite anyone to my home. That would be like buying chocolate when you are on a strict diet – you are going to eat it!

Summing up this little series about relationships and Bangkok: If you really want a relationship, behave accordingly. The rest, the finding of a suitable partner is the harder part.

Being in a Relationship in Bangkok - Part 2

In October, he did come and we got along well instantly. Before long, we got closer. He hung out with some gay Thai friends he made online and it made me jealous. Often, he came to my place. We listened to music and started hugging each other. It all became quite romantic.

It became obvious we had to make a choice. I wasnt sure. I always thought, a relationship in Bangkok is impossible. Too big the temptation, too easy the flirts and the sex.

Stormy times in Bangkok?

He became impatient and said: "well, maybe we are not made for each other..." and started to pack his belongings. It was in this moment, when I instantly knew what I had to decide. I could not let the person who in 3 years grew so close to me walk away. I had to take the chance. It was a knee-jerk decision, feelings guiding the head.

After having been in a relationship for 6 months now, I dont think it's hard to stay faithful. Of course we all have our moments, we look around and there's plenty to see. But why should I have some good sex (and who says it's going to be good?) for giving up the boyfriend?

People say: He will not know. Of course I could do it and hide it. But that doesnt make sense at all. Why cheating the boyfriend and then also lying to him? I am actually wondering why I thought it's going to be hard to stay faithful...

So, after all it seems that being in a relationship is a choice, and demands a lot of attention, compromise and sacrifice. If you are lucky, your boyfriend will think the same - and I am lucky. If you are unlucky, dump him.

Finding the “right one” is not easy. We all know, there is not just that one person out there waiting to be found. In the movie “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” (I can warmly recommend it), there is scene where relationships are explained.

It's not like in Hedwig and the Angry Inch...

It says: At birth, we were all born stuck to another person. Some of the couples were men and women, some men and men, others women and women. At birth, the couples get separated and our purpose of life is to find our “match” again. That’s a beautiful metaphor , but silly.

My advice is simple. If you find someone you like, slowly build up something up and if you like each other a lot, try to go further. Do risk it because if you don’t, you will always ask yourself what would have happened...

tales from a bus trip in laos

I am now in the capital of Laos, Vientiane. It's the smallest capital I have ever seen, maybe besides Berne in Switzerland.

I arrived last evening and had a very interesting trip here. Knowing that I do not want to end up with 100 other farang backpackers but rather some Lao people, I opted for the normal bus with Aircon. I took the right choice!

Besides me, a young couple with a cute little baby-girl and in front of me, a 70's something couple, just as cute. There was also a guy who turned around often to look at me. More about him later.

The journey is supposed to take 8-12 hours. 4 hours of deviation is big, and I now know why. The road is at best a country road in the West and as soon as you are out of Luang Prabang, the vision is very, very countryside. Villages with dozens of kids playing with chickens. Men drinking beer next to the road. Women looking after their babies. Pigs chasing each other past the houses. It was like peeking into people's lives from a passer-by perspective - and all that on a bus.

Soon, we had an accident. Bus had to stop abruptly because of truck racing around the corner, crack and the right back side of the bus was somehow maltreated. 20 minutes and 200 bumps on the road later that were ignored, a huge noise. The suspension of the bus broke and we couldnt drive faster than 30 in the 2nd gear anymore.

A few hours later, we had lunch and changed into the next retired Korean college bus where we had to find new seats, much to the dismay of the Singaporean couple who thought the whole world was keeping two seats free for them. Do NOT get me started on Singaporeans please...

The rest of the trip was smooth sailing. Beautiful landscape, pointy mountains, garden-like un-cultivated fields, dried-up terraced rice-fields, lakes, amazing! I can only recomment Laos.

Now for the gay side of the trip. In Luang Prabang, I was staying at a rather nice guesthouse with an Australian owner, who obviously was gay. The couple of handsome, young, nice, well-behaved and English-speaking Lao staff added a bit to the gay feeling of the guesthouse.

The room under mine was occupied by an Australian gentleman from Melbourne, also gay. He had worked in HIV-prevention for 10 years and has a boyfriend back in Melbourne, possibly from Vietnam since he keeps going to Vietnam and talked a lot about the country. It was lovely to talk to this man. We openly talked about how it is being gay in Bangkok and in Vietnam and his insights were interesting.

Here in Laos, gays are not as open about their tastes as in Thailand. If any of you travel to Laos, dont expect an army of cute Laotians to run after you like they do in Thailand. The flirting is very discrete and even then, they just might be straight guys being curious about foreigners.

In the bus however, I did meet a gay Laotian. He spoke English well, which always raises doubts. We talked a bit and apparently he studied English in Vientiane but now works in a steel factory. He is from one of the northern provinces, hence his Chinese look.

He was a nice guy, he taught me some Lao and we asked each other about when we are getting married, only to receive the obvious denials. We really had a genuinely nice talk and for some reason, I quite liked him, despite him being extremely restless and just slightly strange. In fact, he looked and acted so much like the 'chinese spy' that I met in New Zealand, last year. One strange thing about him however is that he apparently has an older farang friend, from America. Hmm, I have probably met a moneyboy here...

In normal circumstances, we would have exchanged phone numbers and met again and become friends or more - but - as you can read from my ‘in a relationship' series, there is a border than can not be crossed. We did however exchange emails to keep a bit in contact.

I am staying in Vientiane for another 2 nights, before heading down to Thakek and Savannakhet, before making my way back HOME.

Sabai dee luang prabang

Good evening from Luang Prabang. I am in Laos right now. First in Luang Prabang and tomorrow continuing to Vientiane, and then further south, before crossing into Thailand and down home to Bangkok. I miss Bangkok, but this post shall be about Laos!

Here, the people celebrate Pi Mai, something like, in fact exactly like Songkran in Thailand. For the people who dont know, this is the new year party and everyone gets merry, happy and drunk. The cultural side, with processions and offerings is present too but the most visible difference for the traveller is that EVERYONE gets wet.

There are heaps of people on the back of pick-ups driving through the town, singing, drinking and making music. Gay readers might be interested to know that many guys are topless, and because drunk, a bit less shy to foreigners. In Laos, the gay culture however doesnt seem to be as present as in Thailand. In fact, I have trouble figuring out who might be gay at all...

I am realising that this openness, in expressing sexuality and desire is probably what makes Thailand so appealing for many westerners. In Laos, people are soooo shy and sweet. Everytime someone wants to sell me something, I have to give in...I now own about 4 news cloths and a metal wrist-band.

That's it for now - wish me luck for the long and arduous trip to Vientiane tomorrow! Pictures will follow of course!

oh, in the meantime, I read that Thaksin has no Thai passport anymore, but a Nicaraguan one! Interesting, can I become Nicaraguan too. Apparently they gave it to him so he can lure more investment to Nicaragua...that's about the oddest peace of news I have ever read. I dont think he even knows where Nicaragua is! Also, after his never-ending plights for more democracy, he might want to try living in a democratic country and applying for passport in a mature democracy. Australia? France? Switzerland? Or even fellow ASEAN countries?Any takers?

He also now thinks that HRH is the only person who could solve the current problems in Thailand...no comment on that. In any case, this man (Thaksin) is one sleak man.

Black Songkran

At the end of a very, very long and strange day.









This time I will let the pictures speak.

Tomorrow, I am going to Laos with my faghag. Luang Prabang, Vientiane and then home via Isan. And just one political thing: Can I please have my shiny, lively city back on the 23rd? Thank you, reds, yellows, blues etc...

Being in a relationship in Bangkok - Part 1

I have been here for over a year now – single for 6 months and in a relationship for 6 months and this is my 100th blog entry, so let’s recapitulate a bit. It is ime for some thoughts.

I was meant to be the Sydneybitch...

Actually, I was never going to come to Bangkok in the first place. Thailand did not interest me at all because everyone goes there already so why should I? I was going to move to Sydney with my boyfriend.

But then, shortly before that move, I changed my mind and broke up with him. We lived parallel and boring lives. We both didnt try hard enough, weren’t doing anything to satisfy the other person’s needs. He was very anti-social and I strayed towards the end.

...but I became Bangkokbitch.

I moved to Bangkok to study my Masters degree. It is slightly weird to come here to study - people come here for other reasons...

You know what I did after I arrived here. Like everyone else, I enjoyed the ease of dating many guys - but I was never pleased with this situation. Sex is nice and its fun to try different things with different people. After a while though, it gets so boring. A dick is a dick, a kiss is a kiss, a c*mshot is a c*mshot.

I am not the one who says that sex can only be a true eye-opener if it’s combined with love. That’s utopia - with pink sunglasses. I had good sex with some dates and with the boyfriend- and bad sex with other dates and with the boyfriend too.

Five months after the break-up, I felt the need to write a letter to the ex-bf. I just wanted to tell him that I havent forgotten him and that we had a good time together, and that I missed him a little bit. He called me 3 days later; it was during the time of Songkran (exactly a year ago). It was weird to talk again; his and my accent had changed and we were not familiar with each other’s voices anymore.

Silom a year ago.

We wrote each other more and more frequently, just about mundane things, work, family, friends, nothing much. Then, we did something naughty. We exchanged sexy videos. It was strange because even though there enough reasons to find him sexy, I never saw him in a sexual way. It was an interesting and extremely thrilling feeling to desire him.

A few weeks later, he called me again and said: "Hey I booked a ticket to Bangkok, I am coming to study there for a year." I was shocked, really really shocked. I didnt know what to say.

Rant!

Recently, there seems to have been an exponential growth of farangs with Thai wifes and boys. Seriously, can just please one farang come to Thailand without hugging, touching, holding and smiling at his significantly younger Thai counterpart? And why, just why does your wife or boy always have to look cheap cheap cheap, like e.g. from Nana or Silom?

A girlfriend from Nana?

I see these gay versions a few times a day. They always walk next to each other or sit opposite each other - silently. Not a bloody word. Then I walk past, and the Thai will look at me. What does he think? “Oh, a young farang, I’d rather f*ck him.” Or: “Oh, I wonder how much he would pay?” Seriously, if my boyfriend would look at every young farang who walks past, I'd slap him...

I mean I dont actually mind THAT much but it's just so strange. Like living in a parallel universe. You see many many people chatting with each other, friends, collegues and then suddenly, a white man and a Thai man, SILENTLY walking oddly next to each other.

Or a boyfriend from Silom?

I am just wondering, arent you bored with each other? I mean, the Thai will earn his money like that and we are all bored at work sometimes but for the farang: It's his dream to be with a Thai boy and then you hardly talk a word.

It reminds me of the scene I saw sometime ago. Two farang-Thai couples. The elderly farang discussed a newspaper article about the economy and the Thai boys looked bored next to them...

BB cited on a Siambrandname.com

Well, well, well. I am getting famous!

A person on Siambrandname.com liked my articles about the worlds most beautiful leaders in the world.

So she (I assume it's a lady, judging from the forum's content) posted my list, with slight changes of course...most notably, she thinks Abhisit should be the most handsome...we are a bit biased are we?

See the screenshot here!


The forum is sending me quite a lot of traffic, but I think they are all women...are they interested in what a gay farang is up to in Bangkok? Probably not...but thank you still for referencing me, user "bonnydonna" on Siambrandname.com!

For the ones who can read Thai, go ahead and read it. I caught some of what it said, but not all.

You can go read yourselves: http://forum.siambrandname.com/showthread.php?t=178560

I have a crush on 이병헌! Part 2

More of Lee Byeong-Hyeon I hear you say...

Agreed:

HOT!

Cute, so cute!

Sophisticated look!

Bloody muscles...

If you want to see Mister Lee in movement, watch one of his movies. Here is his filmography.

He played in many sappy romances but also in big hits such as "JSA" (Joint Security Area), "Bittersweet Life" (a personal favourite) and most importantly, as a villain in "The Good, the Bad and the Weird".

It's getting more serious in Bangkok - just got home

I just got home, it is now just after 4pm. At the university, people told me to go home because the Victory Monument intersection is now blocked off.

I followed their advice and went home quickly. What did I see? THOUSANDS of people taking the BTS Skytrain that never took it before. People who have been here will know that if you take the skytrain towards Mor Chit, you will go past Victory Monument and you can see the whole intersection.

I saw that taxis blocked off the four entries to the intersection. That is really hurting the city. Tens of thousands of people work in the city and want to get home soon. My best friend just called me, she is at the Thailand Cultural Centre practicing Thai dance and she said that the BTS and MRT will be closed soon. Taxis say they want to stop traffic on all roads.

These are of course rumours, so lets see what is really going to happen...

Im kinda happy to be home.

I have a crush on 이병헌! Part 1

Everyone knows I am in love with Korea.

Recently, I discovered my favourite Korean actor, Mister Lee Byeong-Heon. He is gorgeous!

When have I ever had a crush on a 38 year-old? There is hope out there it seems, some of us do age well!

Enjoy the pictures of Mister Lee.

Hello everyone, says Mister Lee

Wana come for a ride with me?

I'd like to hug you!

I have a cute smile!

Red shirts demonstrations - do people care?

Toady, it was "D-day" again. This time, the yellows stay home and the reds come out. What's next, pink? Well I was wearing totally black today, I might have looked like police.

Reds causing havoc in the city?

Apparently, there were more than 80'000 people and Thaksin is waiting to come back to Thailand. Thousands came from the countryside to fight for "democracy"...

Last week, my professor got a call from the military, while I was talking to him. The military said that there could be chaos, etc.

Siam area. Concerts and pink colours, no politics to be seen - just fun.

Where I was however, in the Siam area, I didnt see red (except in the sky). I have hardly seen so many people in the Siam area on a weekday - and also in the skytrain. I got totally squashed.

The school kids are celebrating their holidays and all the other people are also feeling the holidays coming closer. I dont think these people cared about the demonstrations - they are sick of it and they know that it all seriously damages their economy. I really admire their calm.

A red sky - the only red I saw today.

A really divided country it seems. Somewhere in the city, people from the countryside are frantically demonstrating and demanding political action, 10 km further to the east, city-people are shopping, hanging out, listening to live-concerts and enjoying the holidays...

That's Bangkok today in a nutshell.

Seasons in Bangkok Explained

It is summer here in Bangkok. So let me explain the Bangkok seasons a bit.

The RAINY SEASON will last from about May to October and it will rain at least once a day. Proper rain, I tell you. By October, the earth is soaked and the rivers are dangerously high and we can see flooded streets once in a while. Few tourists come during this time and I dont know why. The rain is fun (if you have an umbrella), the air is clear and cleaner and it's not quite so hot and prices are cheaper.

The rainy season.

From November to January, WINTER will make a brief appearance. The lowest temperature during the last winter was 17C one fine morning. I tell you, it's a blessing! Most people visit in this time, as it coincides with European and American holidays.

Winter, but you cant see it, it's still hot:)

After winter comes - SUMMER. Not much of a spring here. It lasts roughly from February to April and it's scorching hot. Even at night – hardly under 30C. The peak of summer time is market by the Songkran festival - the famous festival where people throw water on each other and virtually all Singaporean and Hong Kong gays will descent on Bangkok in their singlets and with identical gym bodies.

Summer! Hot season!

So now, it's summer - and oddly its raining every day. It's hot nonetheless. In gay terms, summer is a good time. At the moment, high school and university have pid term, summer holidays! That means, you can see the boys doing what they're best at: parading around, showing themselves off, dressing up - and flirting!

Yes, flirting. I dont know what is going on here, but recently I get some flirty guy look around every corner. Either my ass is now even hotter, or their hormones are playing havoc. Either way, I dont mind the additional attention.

Going to Laos!

Enjoy summer in Bangkok, this year, a French fag hag of mine is coming to visit and we will be off to Laos for 10 days.