Monday, December 8, 2008

Second chances

Today I want to write about second chances. It’s been a topic that is coming up a lot lately in my life so I will share my thoughts with you.
The typical discussions revolve around second chances in relationships and even though I am currently in the second round of a relationship, I want to talk about second chances with friends.
Lately, I have come across quite a few old friends. I met them at the sale in the Department store, in the restaurant, walking around in Siam or even on a date with someone else in Suan Lumphini. With some of them, I just had a second thought about them and then decided to contact them again, add them again on facebook or on MSN (I delete people quite quickly if I don’t see potential).

The catalyst for this was really getting a boyfriend. Since I am with him, I obviously don’t date other guys and don’t sleep around anymore either. This cancels the sex out of the equation – and I think that makes many platonic relationships easier.
At the beginning when I came here, I didn’t have sex for ages and was very happy to play – and therefore always put the sex into the equation. That was a mistake. You cant make friends when you sleep with most people you meet. Sometimes it was so boring meeting people so I’d much rather just take them home, have sex and let them go home then (which they wouldn’t always do, remember?). Well now I am on a different mission. Even before I met my bf actually, I started to try much, much harder to make real friends. In all these months I hardly made any gay Thai friends. My best friends here are from the Islas Pilipinas and my straight and lesbian friends from class. I blame this partly on me, because I believe I didn’t have the patience to let something grow. In Thailand, people put on a smile and are very easy to get into bed but what’s really on their minds is very difficult to gauge. I heard this “complaint” so many times from foreingers and I think I really ought to write a bit on this at a later stage. Anyway, sometimes these guys just wanna have sex and then go away, but sometimes they are disappointed if you request sex because they hoped for something bit more sophisticated. It’s a bit of a catch-22. I don’t know. Im sure I lost a few friends or even potentially more by miscalculating what they wanted.
Now however there is no sex involved. So I actually focus much more on whether people are interesting or not. It’s a good development and I think I can rekindle a few friendships, even though it’s awkward to have a relationship involving sex first and then go “back” to pure platonic friendship. If we could only turn back the clocks and turn off our cocks sometimes!
By the way, you may have realised that I am recently only using self-taken pictures. That shall stay that way and even if they dont always quite match the topic, it makes this blog prettier and more me. I hope you like it.

1 comment:

bkkdreamer said...

They say that when you are taken (with boyfriend) and happy, single men can see you are unavailable, so do not pester you.

Now that I am getting old, that's what I tell myself anyway. Few people show any interest in me as a romantic prospect these days, though it must just be because I am old and ugly, as I say.

However, I no longer mind, as I *am* attached and happy, so it doesn't matter.

Is this response 'on topic'? I am not sure.

PS: I rarely meet Thai gays, and am not attracted to most of them anyway.