Sunday, September 13, 2009

Haircut, Beauty Ideals and a Cleaning frenzy

Yesterday, the boyfriend and I went to the hairdresser. I was referred to her by my best Thai friend from class and now I got her a new customer (my bf). How nice of me!

I cut the sides, leaving the fringe, top and back long. It looks a bit odd as my face is pretty high already. In Thai logic however, my face is just fine. High, slim faces are good. Round, wide or god forbid even square faces makes people un-pretty.

I disagree with them, but up to them.

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The gay guy from the year below me at university still sometimes comes and says "hi" when I am at university. He usually comments on my wardrobe, and I return the favour. He's coloured his hair ash-blond (he was very happy I knew the colour). It's a bit of a fashion here but I dont like it.

Especially with that guy, who usually puts on a fair share of make-up. It's like a white-out in the snow (where sky and ground become one), you dont know what's the face and what's the hair anymore, both looks the same colour...

On facebook, we discussed his classmates and I offered him my opinion who might be gay. One sporty small guy with darker skin is gay for sure. He looks kind of cute and his voice and language gives everything away.

I told my friend: I think that guy looks alright. He said: I knew it, because you are farang you like dark-skinned people.

Actually, I can not hear this mantra anymore. It's not the reason these people have dark-skin that we like them. It's that foreigner dont have social inhibitions when they come to Thailand. They want someone hot, cute, available, sexy, etc.

Thais invariably search in their own social class. That's why you never ever see an Isan farmer boy with a hi-so Thai Chinese. BUT, when I used to date some richer guys, a lot of them told me that they actually like the dark country-boys. But that they could never imagine a relationship with them.

In other words: they are sizzling hot, but I cant show a dark guy to my mummie, she would take away my BMW and my job at daddy's company.

So, to sum up. The reason why most farang chose a dark-skinned person is not necessarily the farang's attraction to dark skin but the lack of social inhibitions and asian beauty and class-models.

A friend of mine said: wait a few years, and you'll see them buy tanning creams as the society becomes richer and as being dark doesnt mean working on the farm but having the money to have a holiday. Lets see if my friend is right!

In the meantime, I will look at gorgeous Thai men of all colour!

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Today is Sunday. I am relaxing at home for once. The boyfriend had his first two German lessons at the Goethe Institut. The lessons are now every day from 9.30 to 12. A few weeks ago, I asked him if he wanted to learn German, and he said yes. Great, so he'll be able to talk with my grand-parents when he comes to Switzerland for Christmas!

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A few hours ago, I suddenly got into a cleaning frenzy. I often get these on sundays. I see something needs to be done. E.g. the shower is a bit dirty, or the floor is a bit dusty.

Sometimes I would just sweep the floor, but every so often I always find new things to clean, so I clean nearly everything. Today was such a day. The balcony, the floor, the kitchen, the shower and the toilet. Now my place is sparkling clean!

Tonight, I am going to listen to my bf sing at a Burmese church event. His classmate is Burmese (and gay - and also Christian) and asked some of his friends to sing with him. I'll go and have a look, it should be fun.

By the way, you can see that I still like Pinoy men!:p Thanks Ian for the pictures!


XanFactor said...

hi there...

BB said...

hello there mister xan... interesting blog you have there. let me check it out later and maybe we can link to each other?

Anonymous said...

Let me try to offer an alternative explanation since I'm sort of an in-between. And we're talking relationship here not hookups, right?

I don't think it is so much dark vs. light skinned per se, but more to do with socio-economic status. I doubt it's a problem for hi-so guy with dark skin to date another hi-so dude.

To me the "country" boy part might be a bigger factor than his complexion (especially if he's fresh from the country) since it's likely we'll have less in common. I'm a city kid all my life. Not saying that it might not happen, but just that it might take a little extra effort or a really hunky one to make me wanna work for it.

BB said...

You might have misunderstood me. I was trying to make the point that it is NOTTTT about attraction but about social inhibitions.

I think a lot of this is a pure excuse and Bangkok arrogance to be honest. I went to two large Isan towns this year, Ubon and Khorat. In parts they just look like a small Bangkok, and the people can be edgy, cool, cute and handsome! And probably not country bumpkins with "totally different values".

The point I am making. I know there are differences. Like I can hardly imagine dating a Thai guy because I have found some things to be very difficult to deal with. The same might hold up for you. BUT, I am against throwing Isan people into this corner. (I know you didnt do that, but a lot of people will think/do it!)

It has something to do with the skin colour for sure. Darker city people really have a problem with their skin colour, I noticed. Only once someone has lived abroad, they become more relaxed about it.

Anonymous said...

I see. Re-reading the post again does help.

I'm just getting myself into the Thai dating pool, so no personal account to share if my dark skin presents a problem. We shall see.

BB said...

Herbaltisane. your story might be interesting. are you Thai and have lived overseas for a while? I would love to hear your stories in the Thai dating pool:) Perhaps you want to bounce me an email?

BB said...

goodness me, I just saw you have a blog on your own. people often comment with a blogger or livejournal ID but mostly dont have a blog or have nothing on their blog so I dont bother checking anymore...

welcome home to thailand in that case...cornell...impressive! :)

Christian said...

This reminds me of a funny conversation which I had end of August in my hotel room with a friend I just met a DJ-Station. Basically: I: "You have such a beautiful brown skin". He: "You have such a nice white skin". Unfortunately, you can't choose your sexual orientation or the type you're attracted to, but I have no prejudices regarding cultural background, it's just "my type" or "not my type" (I've not been in a relationship, so this is only for hookups). But it's unfair: Caucasians go to solaria to get brown, Asians avoid sun (or even apply cosmetics) to become fairer.

BB said...

Christian. It is of course easy for you to say that you have no prejudices against skin colours if you meet boys ad DJ Station for fun and are on holidays here.

If you seriously try to find a boyfriend here, you'll become aware of the social differences and might suddenly have another opinion.