Saturday, September 19, 2009

another year's over...

Christmas is coming soon. Someone on facebook wrote in their status: "another year's over and what have you done".

That really really made me thoughtful, well actually quite sad. It's nearly the end of September, and if you live in North America or Europe, the Christmas music in the malls will start very, very soon.


This must be like the earliest annual review of all times, but I am really in a nostalgic mood right now. This has its reasons.

In much less than a month, my bf will leave Bangkok. I have now been with him here in BKK for nearly a year, and needless to say, it will be not the same without him.

He is going to visit his parents in Korea, flying to Macau, taking the boat to Hong Kong, the train to Shanghai and Qingdao and the ferry to Incheon/Seoul. It should be a nice trip for him...

About 3/4 weeks before leaving a place is always when you slowly start realising that you are soon going to part way with not just your city/home but also with your friends, your hangout places, the things you do every morning, in short: EVERYTHING.

I am not good at saying goodbye so it will be teary. Usually it has always been me going away, either to Europe or to New Zealand and the bf had to come home to the empty flat and the routines without me.

This time it will be me. When he leaves next month I will not want to go to his home area (Ratchada) anymore. It would be so empty... In his soi, he's made friends with a Chinese-Thai lady at the foodcourt.

When I was gone, she once said to him: "you are alone in the city so I take care of you". How sweet! Whenever the bf goes to eat there, she gives him free drinks and he usually brings some food for her too to share it.

I think she is either unable to have children and has now 'adopted' the boyfriend, or she is a lesbian. The bf said: "she is going to cry for sure..."

I wont leave BKK just yet, but soon. 11 December is my flight out of BKK and I really cant imagine not living here anymore. Already now I start looking at buildings and roads and wonder whether this is the last time I am seeing this, or that place...

In the meantime, I have a lot to do, so I wont have much time to visit places, meet up with friends and contemplate.

Until early November, my second thesis needs to be finished, so I can go to Korea to visit the bf. After that, I have a few days time to either relax in BKK, write more on my thesis, or go on a little trip.

In December, I will fly to New Zealand for my graduation, back to Switzerland for XMAS with the boyfriend (first time in Europe for him) and then off to Australia for a new life...(all via Bangkok).

"So this is Christmas;
and what have you done?"

Yes, I am asking myself that question too. The other day I looked through my iPhoto album to check what I have been up to in 2009 and it's really scary...

Whatever I think I have done in 2009 was actually 2008...I have been in Thailand for nearly TWO years, not one...

In 2009, I travelled like there's no tomorrow....Switzerland, Italy, Belgium, Laos, China, New Zealand, Laos, and soon....Korea, New Zealand, Switzerland (and some more European countries).

I must be crazy....what useful things did I even do? Well.....I finished one degree, a thesis packed with 75'000 words/250 pages written in 4 months, and another one is one the way.

But is that something to boast about? No, I dont think degrees are any difficult. I have seen people getting the same degree as me who didnt know anything about the world, let alone our subjects...

I am proud of my theses though, they are good, valuable, useful, practical yet well grounded in theory. I have done real research, interviewed people, made graphs, tables and analysed like crazy...I havent just copied ideas, I had my own.

On Silom Farang's blog people are discussing how to invest their thousands of well-earned dollars/euros in condos (or not) or how much monthly wage/rent they should pay their boys and how many condos/cars they should buy them, I am on the other side of the working career.

For me, it is time to start real life. I am sick of getting money from my parents. Not that I dont want it, but I am started to feel ashamed that I cant support myself at 26. My parents have been so generous (they also have the opportunity to be, luckily), I want to pay them back - I want to show them that they were right to support me.

A degree however is hardly an achievement...so now I need to find a job...

What else have I done? Well, it has been practically a year since the boyfriend arrived here. That also means that exactly today a year ago is the last time I had sex with someone else than the boyfriend.

It is a known fact that when living with a boyfriend, other friendships will sometimes suffer. Most of my best friends live overseas though, mostly in Europe, so I get to spend very little time with them anyway.

For the ones here, especially Kawadjan, I am sorry if I was a bit less adventurous and fun this year...the bitchy Silom nights are definitely a thing of the past, but I think we can look back with a smile.

Otherwise, I have not made many new friends. I had hoped that I could make some new friends through this blog, especially fellow bloggers. They are however either too shy, or there are simply too few of them around...

With the Thais, it was the same as last year. Many acquaintances, countless wonderful people, magic moments, some flirts, and to be honest, if I wouldnt have a boyfriend already, a few candidates, all better than anyone I dated while I was still single...

I never took anyone seriously though, because what's the point if you are already happy?

For the bf and me, this has been a very important year. I think we have both grown enormously in personality. We went through difficult times, especially when I was away, or when I told him about the blog. We have also both realised how we get on each other's nerves - and we both try to do this a bit less...

So, maybe this is the most important achievement of the year then. Why does it always have to be career or money? Consolidating a relationship should be a good achievement, no?

Now we are looking to a common future in Australia in 2010. Wish us luck!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have a wonderful life ahead of you. You have a great bf and a wonderful family. How more lucky can you be?
Good luck, happiness and success
Fran

BB said...

couldnt agree more wth you fran...now i'll try not to fuck it up:)

kawadjan said...

Awwwww... nice post, BB. Nostalgia and apprehension are catching up on you, na? But obviously there are many things to look forward to in your new life is Oz. BKK will always be here for you, di ba? :-)

BB said...

Thanks kawadjan. lets have a drink and look back at the old sluttiness silom times hehehe.

BKK will always be here for me yes...I will be back in 40 years to retire. hahaha.

Prkmk said...

a very nice post. I wish you all the best with everything you do in the future...
Career vs. Money vs. Love that's always a question, especially these days. Sometimes you just go with the flow.
And it's very nice to meet you here on this blog. I kinda hope that we can meet in person sometimes...hehe

BB said...

I am not just leaving yet...still 3 months left.

I have so far always chosen love and was wrong twice, this time I think I am right though.

dont say goodbye, I still have a lot to post...meet in person?

introduce yourself first, everyone here knows a lot about me already

robert said...

you are brave to keep choosing love and yes that will cause you pain.......... but also the greatest joys in life also. close behind that will be your work if you find your real calling. love your work its where you will spend most of each day for several decades. put these two things together and money and fame and all the rest dont matter quite so much and fall into their proper place in life...... and now enjoy your next three months in the kingdom and my invite to you if you make it to chiang mai is certainly still open. and so far the kingdom has not totally fallend apart despite the pundits.

BB said...

robert, thank you for your support. I too believe that a good job (with nice collegues) and a good boyfriend is all we need. (I forgot the family...) after that, it really doesnt matter where we live...

if I come up to chiang mai, I will certainly take your offer, but as you see, I dont have so much time left...thank you

herbaltisane said...

Just over a year ago I was kinda at a similar place (different city, shorter thesis, and sans boyfriend- okay, not very similar after all).

Hope you enjoy your last few months. Make an effort (don't just work!!) to go places in Bangkok/ Thailand that bring back good memories. And just take it in...

Good luck with everything.

BB said...

herbaltisane...thanks for your encouragement!

it is similar. we are at crossroads and whether you have a boyfriend or not, it doesnt matter so much. where would I go without boyfriend? I have no idea...probably same place. starting a career in bangkok is not advisable...i might turn into an old and bitter queen with a boy harem.

hehehehe. kidding, I will come back to bkk one day.

karim said...

Very thoughtfull post on achivement. It should be very much helpfull

Thanks,
Karim - Creating Power

BB said...

Thank you karim, interesting site you have too. How did you get on my blog?