at 2pm, jacob picked me up at my place and - after having to drop off the key at my friend's boyfriends place and after having filled up on petrol and eating some Burger King (that was jacob - not me) we finally got on the way to the hot springs place. it takes a considerable 2 hours to drive there so we had plenty of time to talk, smile, discuss and enjoy. we stopped many times on the way to the hot springs place to take pictures. the landscape is really gorgeous and jacob would pose in front of the camera. however, I really dont like his pictures as he ALWAYS has the same silly smile on his face in pictures. I really thinks he looks much better with a determined and concentrated look, when his eyes are small and crisp and his cheeks smooth and flat. (i am a big big fan of these two features....especially the flat cheeks as opposed to the receding western ones). jacob would check the pictures I took extremely thoroughly and in the process he would just hug me from behind - that was something new and it felt really nice to be honest.
BB and jacob thinking about china.
at the hot springs place, we had a good time. he was not ashamed looked at every part of my body, especially the crotch. He also touched my tummy extensively to feel how much fat there is - daring, daring. Of course I looked at his body too - a skinny man with wonky legs and very few long hairs on his legs - and, a little tummy.....I like little tummys. in a way they are so cute.
On the way home, I was tired - and quiet...Back in the city, we ate some Chinese food and then he dropped me off. Big big and tender hug. And goodnight, mister jacob.
you probably think: "this is it?" I think that too sometimes. But only sometimes. It's a very strange feeling. Honestly, it feels a little like being in a relationship, just without a lot of touching and more. We do everything together it seems, we get very used to each other. Habits are forming and it feels like we have known each other for quite some time. I dont know what to say - you guys seem to think I should go for it and kiss him. But we talked so many times about these things and I know he doesnt want anything like that because I am leaving soon. I agree with him in a way. except I think we have many feelings for each other anyways so either we'll be sad or just a little bit more sad when I leave - it really doesnt matter so much. But the question is valid: why do we need the sex if it's already really nice anyway?
Later I asked him if he could come say goodbye to me at the airport. He will be working when I leave - but he said: "I will guard you anyway." That gave me wet eyes.
3 comments:
You don't need the sex as a validation of your feelings but sometimes it's good to make love tenderly if you both care about one another and want to express your true feelings. To me, having sex is getting off with someone you find handsome or sexy and are attracted to physically more than emotionally. Making love is being in bed with someone you care about on a deeper level than just a sexual one.
If you were both living in the same city, I'd say date him without the sex until you were both sure you wanted more. It's called courting and is not in fashion any more.
I think that is what he wants is to have some deep connection with you rather than just a quick romp. However my suggestion of kissing him - not necessarily a mouthwash - is a way to say 'this is how I really feel about you.' - Ian
A sex scene:
"Oh, no please...no...."
"Oh, no please, stop, please...."
"Oh, no stop, please........here let me help with that...."
"Oh, no God, please stop.....I thought, you yes, I mean, no....I thought we were just friends...."
"Oh, yes, please don't stop...."
TAO. I laughed out loud. YOU should be writing this blog I believe...please read the next entry. I can already feel the criticisms and the "oh-no's"
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