An affair with Seoul

I am back in Bangkok. We arrived late last night after we apparently had strong headwinds. It was more like three Thai passengers who arrived late for our departure in Seoul...but never mind.

The taxi boy at Suvarnabhumi thought he got himself a gold mine and he excitedly told his friend that he's now going to Saphan Kwai with the farang. But the farang surprised him by speaking Thai and he suddenly lost his cheekiness and got very courteous.

Welcome back to Bangkok. I used to feel the heat and excitement as soon as I left the Terminal. This time, none of both was there. It's wintry cold now and I am not so happy to be back in Bangkok.

Lets see if my mood picks up again when I meet my friends. For now, I am married to my thesis for another week.

For the last two weeks, I had an affair with Seoul. You all know I am a great Bangkok lover and I dont know how it happened but there I was in Seoul all feeling comfy, homely and happy in this monstrous city of 30 million people.

Seoul is a giant metropolis, no doubt about that. There are literally thousands of apartment blocks lining as far as your eye can see. And there isnt just Seoul. You can ride on the metro for over an hour, and what do you see? You guessed it, apartment blocks.

But these apartment blocks are born out of necessity rather than out of enthusiasm. Korea is a tiny country with nearly 50 million inhabitants. Most of the country is hilly and mountainous so where things are flat, high-density building takes place.

But Seoul is not as soul-less as it might sound. Look beyond the facades of the white monstrous apartment buildings and you will find a lot of character.

The old lady with the red coat in the picture is tending to her garden, in the middle of Seoul. There's a moment of serenity in this patch of green just next to the walls of the Seoul of the old dynasties.

In fact, Seoul is blessed with a lot of green. I used to live on the 14th floor of an apartment in Bangkok and all I saw is grey and the sparkling lights of the illuminated bridges over the Chao Phraya river.

In Seoul, there are trees everywhere, and even more importantly, mountains. I am Swiss and you can never ever separate a Swiss from mountains. We love it where the mountains are and I have this innate feeling of needing to go up a mountain to see the view when I see one.

Then, there is the changing of the seasons. Well, we have 25 degrees in Bangkok now but the change is minimal to what Korea experiences each year. During my two-week stay there, the day temperature changed from 20C to just above 0C. From autumn to winter in a few days.

It's really a marvellous thing to see and many a European or North American in Bangkok will probably miss the feeling of seasonal changes.



One of the more surprising things I found out about Korea this time was its abundance of good fruits. Of course, there are no local mangoes, pineapples and guavas there, but the pears, the apples, the mandarins - and most surprisingly the persimmons are very good.

The persimmon is a fruit which was a delicacy when I grew up. In Switzerland, we used to get them from Italy and mum made persimmon cream by mixing the flesh of the fruit with cream once in a blue moon.

This curious fruit, seen here in the middle of the picture apparently becomes ripe when the weather approaches winter...a very late-comer, this curious fruit. All the leaves are gone, but the orange fruit is left.

One other thing which became obvious during this trip is that Seoul has a bustling arts and design scene, which has grown quickly over the last few years. When we walked through this neighbourhood in the centre of the city, we suddenly found a group of contemporary dancers practicing for their show in the open.

This same neighbourhood (located around Hyehwa station) boasts over 100 theatres alone and is a place where cute cafes, bookshops and second hand clothes shops are abundant.

Sadly however, the large majority of cultural happenings are entirely in Korean. This reflects on the one hand that Korea has become a not only proud (which it always was) but also confident and culturally adventurous country.

On the other hand, Korea is still very much a mono-racial society. As a Swiss with a history in Oceania visiting Korea I was an odd appearance. Most Westerners in Korea are American English teachers.

Some apparently become very lonely. There was Mark, a middle-aged guy from Nebraska who just came up to me in the subway and shook my hand and introduced himself. I was shocked.

First, I thought that I am in a movie or something. This man had such a typical American accent and behaviour it was almost comical. But it was true. Mark was looking for someone to talk to, even though I know have absolutely nothing in common with him except that we can both speak English, we are both men and we are both Caucasians.

I actually do have an American friend. She is from New Hampshire, but calls herself Lithuanian, because her grandparents were from Lithuania. We met in New Zealand when I studied there and later on, she taught English in Southern Korea for a year.

She is back in New Hampshire now, but misses Korea. I remember though that at the time, she complained very much about Korea. It was hard for her. She is quite a big girl, so the Koreans made fun of her. She took offense when people hit her on the street with their elbows (something you just have to get used to in Korea) and she didnt like the food.

I have to admit. Korea is a rough place. I cant pinpoint why I love the place either. It's not particularly pretty in the cities (apartment blocks again), the landscape is nice and even quaint but not stunning, the people are nice but they dont even come close to the natural sweetness of Thais.

As a foreigner, you absolutely must learn the Korean language. Otherwise you will just be excluded. You will not be served by some people and ignored by others. The bf's family talked admirably about the Nepalese workers, who are abundant in their neighbourhood. They said that within a year, these Nepalis can apparently speak Korean fluently.

So, within a few decades, Korea has grown from a dirt-poor farming country to an economic and cultural powerhouse. It apparently attracts migrants and visitors from all over Asia. People are crazy over its pop culture (just ask a few Thai teenies).

I dont know how they did it, but I admire it.

As I said above somewhere, there is a price to pay though. Koreans work very hard. You can see it in people's faces that they are tired. People walk quickly and if you are in their way, they will push you away.

Personal freedom in Korea is minimal. The apartments are tiny and the grip of most families on their children is iron. Additionally, most Korean men must serve in the military for 2 years.

The most obvious signs for the lack of personal freedom are the abundant (Love-)Motels. They are literally everywhere. These motels are not just used by men and women for a little fun besides the marriage but mostly, it seems for couples who do not have a place for love-making to enjoy a bit of company. Besides, they are cheap and comfortable too!

Two men kissing in this ad. This has nothing to do with gay by the way.

Just like the love-making in motels, gay life in Korea seems quite subdued. Do not expect anyone to flirt with you on the street. And do not make the mistake of taking every effeminate guy as a potential target.

I am still confused, but when young men looked at me in Korea, I wasnt sure if they thought I was an alien and they wanted to kick me in the butt or if they wanted to do something else with my butt ;)

But all this is changing. The boyfriend and I went to the gay clubbing area of Itaewon on our last night. He was amazed and excited because he never expected to find an entire street populated by gays in his country of birth.

I was a little bit underwhelmed because for such a huge city, this little strip of bars was minuscule. Most of gay life in Seoul is probably not taking place in bars, but rather on the internet or among friends or perhaps even at public baths.

I dont know but this was no Silom. Nevertheless, I loved that little strip of bars. It was much more friendly and lovable than the market that is Silom. There were genuine people of all races which seemed to enjoy themselves. I thoroughly enjoyed myself!

So again, what is it that makes me love this place? I dont know. Perhaps it's the familiarity. I have known my boyfriend for over 4 years, and in this time, I learned so much about Korean food, language and culture that I was never really foreign to the country.

Now, I have moved onto a different level in my relationship with Seoul. Koreans may seem distant but when you become part of a group or family or society, you will be 100% part of the group. They are extremely generous people.

In my boyfriend's family I have found such a group of people who welcomed me with open arms. I am not sure how many of the people I met know that I am not just a chummy mate of my boyfriend, but much more. I suspect it was most people actually.

The dad, I am now sure, knows that we are a couple. When we walked down the street to the airport bus, the boyfriend said: "I think dad really likes you". Just after he said that, the dad came around the corner with a very sad face and said good bye to me. I thought he was going to cry and I nearly cried too.

So...lets see if this affair with Seoul will become more one day. I certainly hope so.

Korean mountains

Before I am heading back to Bangkok tomorrow, we decided to go on another trip within Korea. Since, as a Swiss, I am eternally bound to mountains and the sea, the choice was easy.

We boarded a bus to the East coast town of Sokcho, from where we could access the supposedly most scenic mountains in South Korea: the Seoraksan range.

It doesnt require a lot of description I think, the pictures do the talking. The mountains, even though of course not as high as Swiss mountains, or even the Himalayas, are beautiful. All the more beautiful because from the top, the sea and Sokcho itself are visible too!

Thai people visited the Seoraksan area too and wrote many messages on plates. I didnt actually really see many Thai people around but they might not be so interested in going up the mountain, as we did. Who knows....but they must have been cold for sure!

One thing I like the most about Korea right now is the soft, organgey winter light. Somehow, I have the feeling the sun is going to set any moment from about 2pm. Because the sun is so low and setting slowly, it casts spectacularly long shadows for several hours.

The sunsets are slow and even though the sun seems weak and not very bright, it still provides for some warmth. Winter hasnt quite arrived yet in Korea, but I surely like the weather now!

The is the sunset in Sokcho city. The city is surprisingly pretty. It sits on a lagoon and has a large harbour, which is still intensively used for fishing. The city centre's main artery is a neat and cute road with many lights and a surprisingly large amount of women's fashion.

Surprising because I didnt really see many people shopping at all...but then again it is really low season at the moment. Apparently most people come here during the summer months (it's only a 2.5 hour ride away from Seoul) and around the festive season at the end of the year.

On our last night, we also went to this cute harbour, which serves Korean sashimi. We had some but I wasnt impressed. The fish seemed all tasteless and chewy. Apparently this is how it should be though...

In general I really love Korean cuisine. A lot of vegetables, which are always included in the meal and dont just sit on a plate idly like a piece of broccoli in Western cuisine. Plus, I cant get enough of the Kimchi (fermented cabbage with chilli). To end the day, we had stuffed Octopus. Yummy!

Today, we are off to some souvenir hunting. My Thai friends all love Korea, so I suppose I need to bring them something besides all the creams they ordered me to buy here. (Korean brands in Thailand are extremely expensive whereas here they appeal to the mass market and are a lot cheaper)

Later on we might even have a look at the gay clubbing scene. I am not sure if that's a good thing, judging from how good-looking Korean guys have proven to be so far. I hope I can still find "mine" among all these guys and that the boyfriend still has a heart for this "average farang" as opposed to all these handsome Koreans.

Scenic Seoul

Immediately after we got back from the countryside, dad took us on a ferry on the Han river. Traditionally, Seoul was not built on the river but rather next to the river. I dont know when or how the city developed along the river, but now the Han river is somewhat in the centre of Seoul.

On both flanks of the river, multi-lane highways go a long way, to make this otherwise dull river even uglier. But this is about to change. the government has started the "Hangang Renaissance" project with the aim to convert the large majority of the riverbanks into parks.

And these things really happen. Not like in Bangkok, where creating a new park would be akin to a new world wonder.



The ferry ride was actually really interesting, as we could see various areas of redevelopment, the different style of apartment buildings, and occasionally catch a glimpse of the gorgeous mountains around which Seoul is built.

Towards the end of the ride, we arrived at Yeouido Island, where my favourite building in Seoul stands, the 63-building. I am still debating whether the shape and surface of the building make it look retro-cool or just plain cool but I love it. Rarely can you see a building from a few decades ago keep such a graceful and modern aura.



Then we took the bus up Namsan, the mountain just to the south of the ancient Seoul. This is the view towards the Northeast. Apartments as far as the eye can see. It's really impressive.

Recently, Namsan has also become a romantic hotspot. In a country of couples (is it just me or does really every gorgeous man in this country have a girlfriend?) and TV-drama induced kitschy romance, this means something. Just have a look at the thousands of locks with romantic messages chained to the fence.



Some actually had cute messages, while others were just pathetic (I will love you forever and ever and you are the man of my life (after 3 months marriage)). Good luck to these couples...I would like all to know how many of these locks have been "unlocked" already.... (e.g. the couples are not together anymore)



Of course, being on top of Namsan is gorgeous and the view around 360 degrees is great.

It was actually an interesting spot to be. Up there, we saw Japanese high school kids in their uniform. Why would they wear their uniform overseas??? And we also saw gay Thais. Two TV presenters wore just about every single colour that exists and nearly made me vomit with their style of dress and looks. I wanted to go tell them but then I saw that they were filmed for some TV show, so I was lucky I didnt say anything.

There was also an Uzbek ex-flight attendant who made friends with a Japanese couple. He was obviously gay and oddly looked very much like my boyfriend. It was a bit spooky, but I am now thinking the Central Asian guys could be a new fashion soon!!! For my part, it made me think that if every gay Uzbek would look like him I would like to visit sometime...

Back to the roots in the Korean countryside

Before travelling to Korea, I made up a plan that I would like to visit mainly the countryside, since I had been to Seoul before. I thought, about 3 days Seoul and then off to the countryside, perhaps even touring around the whole of Korea (this country is about as a bit as Isan so this should be possible)

Such things however hardly go according to plans. We were somewhat stuck to Seoul in the first few days because it's an interesting and exciting metropolis where you can visit countless neighbourhoods and discover new areas, museums and not to mention the thousands and thousands of restaurants in every street.

Since we included the bf's dad more and more in our plans, he began to enjoy our company too and started taking us to all sorts of places. Suddenly, it became a family affair and this culminated in the visit to dad's home city over the weekend.

Dad's family hails from a proud dynasty of previously Chinese confucian scholars and is very rooted in his hometown. The town is very provincial and situated in the middle of Korea.

Here you can see a picture of Goesan (괴산), on this nice sunny winter day.

I was curious how the countryside would compare to the glitzy Seoul. Korea as a country is not as rich as its neighbour Japan, and nowhere near as rich as the main Western European countries. That doesnt show in Seoul, but it shows on the countryside.

The bus terminal had not been renovated in a few decades and in the shops, old people were heating up the room with an old-style oven, on which they brewed hot water for tea and coffee. It is not a charming place, but hardly anything is in Korea anyway.

I however am a countryside boy too and enjoy a bit of grittiness. It gives this place a real feeling. Nothing is pretended. Even though Goesan seems to be underdeveloped compared to Seoul, the enormous changes that have come to this countryside town in the last few decades illustrate the rapid development Korea has gone through.

The dad told us how they had no continuous power in his house until he was in middle school (about 40 years ago) and how there were no asphalt roads until a few years ago. His grandma was apparently brought to Goesan from the neighbouring village to marry the grandad on tiny dirt roads.

Now, the old house has been renovated and has a modern feel to it, included with a nice warm floor heating system, which is common in all Korean houses. There is cable TV and anything you could wish for.

But the family still own some rice and chili fields in the area. Anyway, the region is heavily agricultural, especially focused on chili, ginseng and cabbage, of which tons area needed for the famous Kimchi (conserved cabbage with chili), which is eaten to EVERY meal in Korean cuisine.

Everything Chili: Bus stops and taxis!

As the three of us arrived in Goesan, dad immediately said that there is nothing to see here and we'd better get on a bus to see the national park, 30 minutes up the mountain. After eating the local speciality (River Snail Soup, Olgaengi guk), we got on a bus to an even smaller town.

If Goesan was something like the capital of a very rural region, we were now in a small town of a very rural region. People in Korea, who normally do not care about Westerners were now surprised to see me and some local men even asked whether my boyfriend is a girl or a boy (he really doesnt look girly, just has a soft face).

The man said that these days in Korea, you'd have to strip people naked to see if they are a girl or a boy. How fitting, looking at the ads of ultra-femme boys in pink clothes smiling at us constantly.

We then proceeded to Songnisan National Park, which was gorgeous. The dad also showed us an ancient palace area, which was apparently where their distant ancestors lived. It was also freezing cold, so we didnt stay for long.

We then went back to the family house, which is usually empty most of the year. This weekend however, other people were there too, so 7 people shared a two-room house. This is easily done in Korea, where just before going to bed, people unfold a portable mattress, and just go to sleep.

These mattresses seem comfortable at first, but not not protect you much from the hardness of the floor. I am looking forward to the Thai massages in Bangkok to get my back sorted again:)

In the morning we woke up to a powdered white landscape and freezing temperatures. See the view here:

We then took the car for a short ride to the cemetery of my bf's grandad (and a range of other ancestors, seemingly). Family cemeteries in Korea are on peaceful hills, which is actually really beautiful I think.

On the back of the grave, my bf's name was engraved in the stone. This astonished him and he said: "I am surprised to see so many traces of me so far away." It made me happy because it was nice to see that he is rediscovering his family in a place he hadnt been to for many years.

On to the countryside

The last few days were very busy. Only a week has passed since I have been here but I already cant remember on which day we did what.

In these last few days, we walked through an artsy district where there are at least 50 theatres close to each other, and where we saw an impromptu performance of a contemporary dance group. The setting was so beautiful. The winter sun shone on the stage and the shiny yellow of the ginkgo tree leaves gave the scene a very yellowy, orangey, warm feeling.

We also went for more shopping to the Dongdaemun area. This is the Jatujak market of Seoul, where you can find everything - mass-produced sadly. We did find about four shops however with cute clothes and bought a lot there, since Dongdaemun prices are decidedly below other areas.

The boyfriend and I also met an old friend from Switzerland. We used to play volleyball in the same team when we were teenagers. The boyfriend asked what kind of player I was. My friend said I was difficult to play with and the bf suggested I was probably a drama queen player.

We had seafood stew (reader JR will enjoy if I put the Korean word up: 해물탕)

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ (This is the Korean version of the Thai: 5555555+)

(5 in Thai is pronounced HA, so 55555 becomes hahahahaha)

The visit is also getting much more family-oriented. We planned to go on a countryside trip two days ago, but yesterday was the boyfriend's grandad's death anniversary. That is a big event in a family, where some people come together and celebrate a little ritual.

The family was extremely friendly and it was really nice to see the boyfriend rediscovering his family, and me being welcomed so openly. I was introduced by the dad as "best mate"...whatever that means...:)

In a moment, we should be off to the family home upcountry. I wonder if I am going to be reminded of the Thai countryside or if the urban jungle of Korea has even reached the backwaters, where the boyfriend's family is originally from.

p.s....pictures to follow when I have more time...

The image of Korea: unfriendly people and TV dramas?

In Thailand, Korean people are not seen as very friendly or warm. Korea is also seen as a country with no history to speak of. Instead, Korea's image is tinged into a rosy coloured fluffy world. This is the world of dramas and boy bands.

For all those of you who dont know, Korea is THE Asian leader in producing popular culture. It used to be Japan, but now it's Korea. They do two things very well:

1.producing TV dramas that capture the Asian masses from Manila to Jakarta, Bangkok to Beijing and Taipei to Hanoi. 2.producing boybands with the cutest and most handsome singers of all Asia and market them extremely well to the masses of (see above...)

Korea is doing something what America has done for a long time. Make the people like your country via popular culture. This is a very powerful tool and I can see what crazy thing it does to my Thai (girl)friends' minds. They think Korea is some kind of heaven where cute boy band members are just waiting to be married.

Anyhow, needless to say that the image is wrong. Just like the image of Europe that Asians have (castles, old buildings, lifestyle etc) is somewhat wrong.



Korea is developing extremely quickly, perhaps most visibly seen in the thousands of apartments that have sprung up in the last few years. Development comes at a price though. And as usual, not all people manage to catch up. Old people are forced to take on development, as attendants on the subway are no more. You can not buy a ticket from a person anymore in the subway, it's just machines there.

The dear old people seem to cope pretty well though and I have seen old people help other old people use the machines. I have also seen that people are actually extremely friendly to help with anything. This has surprised me a bit, since Korean people are often seen as brash and loud. However, I do remember when I was here alone, I did struggle a bit with the people. As long as you can speak Korean, it's fine but if you dont, expect people to turn away from you.

Another thing which was pointed out to me by my boyfriend is the people's personal freedom. Society here is very Confucian, so essentially organised in a similar way as in China, or even among Chinese Thais. Family means everything and age and status counts a lot.

Yesterday, when I met my bf's auntie, she immediately asked my age. I thought she perhaps wanted to say that I look younger or older, but it was just to know my age, nothing to do with my looks.

Another interesting story to tell happened two days ago. The boyfriend's dad invited us to come to a shop where a friend of his sells ropes. We arrived there and were told to sit down and have a drink. We were served Korean wine, which tasted like marshmallows mixed with cidre and told to have some pig's trotter and kimchi. Great, I thought. We get invited in a real Korean way.

Then the men started to introduce themselves and shake our hands. A few moments later, I noticed that something was a bit off, when the business owner started to talk about his daughter and my bf's family. Then, I overheard him talk about a party at his house and by then I remembered that the boyfriend told me that his dad is suggesting that he should meet this girl he used to know for a drink.

Ahhhh, now the pieces came together. My boyfriend, still unmarried, was to meet this man's daughter at a party so they could get to know each other. The boyfriend got very uneasy about it all and wanted to leave quickly. Outside, he told off his dad for taking us to the man and told him he will never meet this girl.

It's not all as dramatic. His dad was not the main player in it all, it was the business owner who organised it. I was also to meet his other daughter (I didnt understand that in the conversation earlier on) on the countryside in their house somewhere. It did not sound intriguing to us...



The boyfriend's dad officially does not know that we are a couple. He knows me for years though. In New Zealand I often took the phone when my boyfriend was away. I learned how to say that my boyfriend is at work and when he will come back in Korean. Now we got to finally meet.

It's all good and there are no problems. We can not communicate so much though but that doesnt matter so much. The dad is very friendly and an active person. We bring him some food home every day and he loves it. It's probably even obvious to him that we are a couple.

But, it's not easy for parents to accept our identity. The first step, to somehow realise that their son is different and is not so interested in getting married to a girl and have kids is probably quite easy. Parents feel quickly when something is happening to their children. The second step, to really accept the fate that the son will fall in love with other men is probably quite difficult.

The boyfriend's mum has passed step number two a while ago. Last night, we met her at her apartment, which is not quite in the centre of town. She lives in a small studio above her sister's BBQ restaurant, but we went to each Kamja Tang (Potato soup) together.

I used to think the soup is quite spicy and tasty but since I am used to Thai food, I would say it's quite herby. The main ingredients are potatoes, pork bones (with some delicious meat of course), leaves, rice cake, mushrooms and other vegetables. It's delicious. The soup is boiled in a big pot and everyone eats directly from it.

In Korean restaurants, such food is eating on a very low table. This would be a horror for Thais, because your feet are constantly pointing at people and your bags and jackets are put on the floor next to you. The floor is wooden and warm but also hard and I lost any feeling in my right leg by the time we were finished...

Later, the bf's mum bought us giant Peppero sticks. Today is Peppero day and girls have to buy their boyfriends peppero sticks. (Peppero is the Korean equivalent for Pocky, a wafer stick with chocolate around in different variations). Then, the boyfriend showed me his old school and old apartment building where he grew up until 10 (when they moved to New Zealand).

It was very nice to see the surrounding and imagine a cute little primary school boy, who will later become my boyfriend, run around the neighbourhood.



Then, we went back to the mum's apartment and watched Korean dramas. I heard about them so many times but never actually watched one. And now I know why people can get hooked to them. So much happens in one show. Something like the husband of a woman goes through plastic surgery to take revenge for an affair. Then the nurse falls in love with him. The guy suddenly has a brother turning up who is having an affair with the wife. Etc....it's all.....well....drama.

So, my experience reinforces what commentator JR said two posts ago. Koreans are very welcoming and we are welcomed as a member of family very quickly.

The temperature is dropping and it was only about 5 degrees last night. Today I better wear my new ultra-warm jacket!

Arrived in Seoul

The area where we are staying

Well, what I can tell you so far from staying there for two days is that there are plenty of them around. In fact, they are EVERYWHERE! The boyfriend and me attract quite a bit of curiosity from gays. They are quite curious about this farang-korean couple it seems. And they are actually quite open about it too. This is a bit surprising to me. When I was alone the last two times, I did not attract any interest.

Either I looked ugly then, or I didnt go to the right places, or I was not obviously a gay person. Now however I am and the interest is there. One more thing about Korean men: they are simply gorgeous. Someone should have told me before I moved to Thailand, but I am sorry I prefer the Seoulites...They have clearer and sharper faces, and are a bit on the taller and broader side than the Thais. And....they have style.

This is another thing I didnt notice the last time. In fact I was disappointed. But dressing up is really in fashion here. A very popular style is a black casual jacket with a buttoned shirt and jeans. niiiiiice. plenty of variety too. And there are now a lot more fashion stores too. I love the winter fashion here. Sadly, it's all a little expensive....and it slightly pisses me off to see people younger than me shopping casually in expensive shops.

One more thing about Korean men. I am afraid but my gaydar is sometimes really failing me here. It's blinking too much, when it should not. In fact, I am not sure....because I can not believe how feminine Korean guys act sometimes. There are ads with handsome men wearing pink clothes, jumping around waving their hands. It's just so.....GAY! But no, they have a girlfriend, and even carry her handbag! Today, I spotted one checking his hair throughly in the mirror while the girl was shopping for clothes.

Now who knows what this all means. Perhaps there is a little repressed girl in "oh-so-many" straight guys in the West too, or maybe some of these Korean men are in the closet and get totally dominated by their woman. We do not know, but i'll try to observe more.

Lotte World inside

Today, the boyfriend and I went to Lotte World. That's a theme park, similar to Disney World. Most is under a giant glass roof and I really can not believe how many rides and other things they can fit under a roof! I must admit I am not big on theme parks, but the boyfriend loves them. I did tell myself not to disappoint him and go on some quick rides. The first one was a balloon ride around the whole territory just under the roof. Nice!

Then, we chose the fastest ride next. I twas called "French Revolution", who knows why....It didnt look so quick. BUT IT WAS!!! It started off relatively easy, but then suddenly we went down 180 degrees....and left and right and around and upside down and gosh, my hair must have looked terrible! My head was spinning from then on and relaxed only hours later. But it was fun! The theme park was kind of odd, because all the rides and buildings had some sort of European ancient theme, where they deliberately mixed stone age, baroque, middle ages and who knows what. As long as it's a bit European. The rest was a weird mix of Egyptian and Arab design, with some monkeys eating bananas and playing the drums and some black man with huge eyeballs playing the trumpet (not real, just for show). It was on the border of racism sometimes.

Lotte World Outside

One thing I really loved about Lotte World was the "waving policy" for the employees. There was no bowing and wai-ing, there was only waving. Buying a ticket? Gamsahamnida (Thank you) Wavewavewave. You are going on the ride? Gamsahamnida. Wavewavewave. It was really cute. A wave with all the movement coming from the wrist....Again, it looked really gay actually. I did have a feeling most of these attendants were gay, because after all, smiling the whole day, waving and helping people is what we are good at, right?

Meet the parents

Tomorrow I am off to Korea. Well, I nearly missed my flight in the first place. I am departing from Suvarnabhumi at 1.15am. Have you ever had a flight departing just after midnight?

They are tricky I tell you. Everyone asks you, so when do you leave? And you are like....ahmmm, Saturday (since 7 November is a Saturday). Or should you be: Well Friday night....but it's actually Saturday already.

Anyway, you already know what happened. I thought I am leaving on Saturday evening and made up a breakfast date (with my professor...) on Saturday. I just thought I'd better check the ticket for the time and bingo, I am leaving a day earlier....Saturday but kinda Friday.

You get the point, I nearly missed my flight and would have not made it to Korea. Thank you professor for asking me out for a breakfast date.

In Korea, it's going to be autumn. I kind of miss the seasons here in Bangkok, although we did have a cool day the other day. It was about 24 degrees and everybody was raving about the weather on facebook and twitter. I saw that last week in nearly snowed in Seoul, but this week it's meant to be 24 degrees. That's quite crazy!!!

The boyfriend is in Korea with his parents, and I am going to meet his dad for the first time. I saw mum when she came to Thailand earlier this year and she's nice. Her face looks like my boyfriend's, especially when they smile, and they are very alike in their cheekiness.

I have talked to dad a few times on the telephone when we used to live in New Zealand. I told him that the boyfriend is at work (in Korean). I have forgotten how to say it though. From what I heard, dad is a calm but lovely man. I am very curious to see how they boyfriend's dad is like, because I see his son nearly every day! They must have a lot in common...

I nearly booked a hotel for my stay in Korea. We are going to be based in Seoul, where the parents live, but also travel through the country a bit. The boyfriend's dad however got really angry when he found out about this and said that I must stay at their place. That's very nice of him!

Sine I got invited to the boyfriend's family home, I had to get some gifts of course. I really like to be generous with gifts. I dont know why, but I just love to see someone's face when they are happy because of something you gave them.

But what to give? It's hard enough for parents (especially for dads!!!) but even harder for someone I have never met....I knew that the bf's dad likes to paint, and is good at it. Actually, the whole family either paints or makes music (boyfriend) or takes pictures (boyfriend's sisters). So, it had to be something artsy.

I came up with something risky; this:


In university I once learnt that there are three things that one should not talk about when meeting a stranger: politics, sex and religion. I am not only violating the religion part but also buying a piece of art, which is a very subjective thing in the first place.

But the picture is so gorgeous (and the boyfriend's dad is at least buddhist, the mum is catholic though) that I had to get it.

For the boyfriend's mum, it was much easier:


Elephants always do the trick in Thailand...and the thing to the right (I dont know how you call this....a wind chime?) is just so pretty!

I got all these things from the same shop, in Paragon....gosh....I had never even been to the souvenir section of Paragon. They had silk there that cost 8000 baht......from that moment on I was a bit scared of looking at prices. But then I found an area with things from the North, which is where I got my presents. They were good value (I would probably pay a third on a market though...).

Then again, the ladies there really had nothing to do and I felt sorry for them somehow. Besides, the goods are very good quality there.

Personally, I find it a bit hard to get souvenirs from Thailand for someone. Actually, there's a total overload of possible souvenirs in Bangkok, but I just havent really found that "one stop shop" for cute, artsy and not too expensive things. Do you have any suggestions?

Later, I went to the Paragon supermarket, where they have the Thai Gourmet Food section. Ohmygod, that is my favourite part of the whole mall. I got dried squid with Thai sweet chili sauce, crispy pork, Thai wafers, dried mangoes and bananas....mhmmmmm, and they let you try everything too!

That's it now, I have to pack (and finish watching America's Next Top Model). See you in KOREA!!!


By the way. Thank you so much for writing me to all the people who reacted to my "growing up-series". I am glad you found it heart warming (as one reader said).

To be honest, I felt confused after writing all these blog entries (I wrote them all in one go). I had just rushed through my childhood and teenage years in 3 hours....and suddenly, here I was in Bangkok on a Saturday morning....

Bf nearly in Korea - meets generous Chinese people

After this brief little eruption of feeling queasy due to watching "Fish Tank", I'll still blog a little bit about the mundane things that happen in my every day life.

The boyfriend is now in Qingdao, North-Eastern China. He will take the ferry to Korea on Saturday. A reader asked why he didnt take the plane from Bangkok.

Well, isnt it great to experience four different means of travel (plane, bus, train and ferry) in one journey? I mean, of course if you want to arrive as quick as possible, hop on that plane and land in Seoul 6 hours later...(yes, that's how long it takes to fly there!!!)

If you have some spare time, why not experience a bit of China? For me personally, China is the most impressive country I have ever been to. I am dying to go back as soon as I can and I envy the bf that he is there now!

Just have a look at the pictures...(I am borrowing them now, I hope he doesnt mind:)


Macau

Germany? No, Qingdao.....it used to be a German colony, apparently...

Qingdao - gorgeous place

Actually, on the train, he met some young Chinese people, who were in the same carriage. They made friends, and when they heard his story with the stolen wallet, they just gave him 500RMB, that's about 80US I think....that is extremely generous, no?

The generous chinese travel companions

I want to add something to the post about my boyfriend leaving bangkok here. It was sweet that so many of you wrote messages of support, as well as their own experiences with long-distance relationships.

However, I think you misunderstood me a bit. A month without boyfriend is of course quite some time, especially if you are used to living together happily, but this is not the main reason why I was so sad.

I lost a little tear, because our time together IN BANGKOK has ended. That means, the time that we shared here, which in my opinion was awesome, came to an end.

Bangkok is a great city to explore, do things, eat, get around, watch movies and live in a nice place. I also have quite a deep sentimental feel for this city, which you probably know already.

This time has now come to an end, and it makes me think that my time in Bangkok will end soon too. I love this place, it is my home and I will be very sad to go. So yeah, a little part of me has gone with the boyfriend, and is now in Qingdao waiting for the ferry to Korea.

Becoming a good cook - bf without wallet

My boyfriend has arrived well in Macau. Apparently, it was quite hard to find budget accomodation, but he did finally find a place to rest. The places all seem to have Portuguese names...well it's quite logical, since it used to be a Portuguese colony.

I wonder how the bf pronounces Portuguese. He is now pretty good at German after taking the 4 week intensive course at Goethe Institute. There, he made two ladyboy- and a closet gay friend. It sounded like they had a great time. Lets see how much he will pick up in Switzerland around Christmas.

Anyhow, on the first proper day in Macau, his wallet got stolen:( About 300US$ or so gone....Sometimes he attracts bad luck. I told him to separate his money, which he at least did, so the Chinese money is still in his possession.

Instead of enjoying a few days in Hong Kong and Shanghai, he is now on his way from Guangzhou to the port city of Qingdao. The train takes 28 hours and he is apparently in Hard Sleeper Class. I told him that if I were there, it would be a bit more squishy:)

In the meantime, I am learning how to cook Thai food - very successfully. How? Well, after 1.5 years in Thailand, I know how the dishes SHOULD taste, so imitating is not that hard. Importantly, I always look at the food I eat and therefore know the ingredients a bit.

Basic Thai food is relatively simple. You always need to find a balance between sweet (sugar), salty (fish sauce), sour (lime juice) and spicy (chili). If the food doesnt quite taste right, you need to adjust either of these. Of course, not all food consists of these ingredients, but this are the basic four elements of Thai food.

I cooked ยำทะเล (Yum Talee, sour seafood salad) yesterday, and ตมยำกุ้ง (Tom Yum Gung) with ผักบุ้งไฟแด (Fried Morning Glory) today. It all tasted yummy. By the way, I am writing these in Thai because sometimes I really dont know how to translate the dishes into English.

One thing I cant stand about Thai restaurants either geared towards the tourist market, or situated abroad is that they will sometimes not have the name of the dishes in Thai. How the heck I am meant to know what something like "fried chicken with chili" (that's just a fictional example) is???

I couldnt take pictures of the dishes I made, since my camera is in China with my bf...but it's nothing spectacular anyway, at least not compared to the fancy creations of Bkkdreamer's boyfriend :)

Otherwise, I am busy writing my thesis. Not much time left, and as always, as I am nearing the finishing line, my speed picks up. I am writing between 500 and 1000 words a day, which is ok. Ironically, my thesis is about European students in Thailand, why they study in Thailand and what benefits this can bring for Thailand.

I could interview myself and write the thesis about myself:)

A tear for Bangkok...the bf is gone

Taking the bf to badminton was a good idea and it worked well. I always felt slightly bad about going off for the evening two nights a week with loads of faggots. The bf knew that there are some cute people among them too and that some of them liked me.

I decided it was time that the Thais knew that me having a boyfriend is not just some made-up story...It was also time that the bf saw the boys, and realised that none of them can match him:)

The bf enjoyed seeing me play (he didnt play himself) and the Thai boys found it cute that he came along. They were gossiping and were saying how they would like to eat Kimchi (eat in Thai can mean have sex)...

Last week was very stressful for the bf and me. He stayed at my place, and we both had the plan to enjoy our last week together in Bangkok, going to see places, eat yummy Thai food and relax at home, while watching some movies and going to the swimming pool.

The reality was different. He was extremely stressed due to his school, which still hadnt quite finished, and I was trying to write on my thesis as much as I could. We also had another gathering at my place, which involved blogger kawadjan and two of my former schoolmates.

Last night, we also went to a popular Isan-eatery on Rama 9 road, near RCA, with the bf's classmates, had some beer and extremely delicious Thai food. Later, we went to Soi Rangnam, near Victory Monument for more drinks and some pool.

This place on Soi Rangnam was totally gay. Gay owned, and gay frequented. There was a pack of about 12 very girly teenage boys playing pool next to us. The bf got jealous and was anxious I would be looking at them, but he was totally wrong. Screaming faggots are NOT my taste at all...even if they had cute faces. This again proved my point that the WHOLE of Bangkok is gay, not just Silom...

So, the week was not what we expected. We were both very stressed. In these situations, I tend to become a bit brash and unfriendly, sometimes even a bit rude. The bf on the other hand gets a bit more sensitive, so we also argued a lot. We usually really dont do that.

Last night, we couldnt even go to sleep together, because he was still packing at 2am. I fell asleep alone, but the bf told me that when he came to bed, I begged him to spoon me. He whispered in my ear that he will do that and protect me tonight. I dont remember any of this though...but it's cute.

We also both hardly felt horny, due to the stress and lack of sleep. I also tend to get very melancholic when something sad is about to happen, so I dont feel very horny either. Luckily, these feelings were all forgotten today, and after months, I finally got to be bottom again:)

Now, the bf is on the plane to Macau. He will stay there for a few days, take the ferry to Hong Kong, the train to Shanghai and Qingdao and finally the ferry to Incheon and Seoul. It should be an amazing road-trip for him, and I hope to post some pictures too.

So, I am alone in Bangkok now and Bangkok will not be the same anymore now. Of course, everything still looks the same, but sharing all these Bangkok experiences with him was special.

When you are alone, you still have your friends, who will, I suspect, see a bit more of me now. It will be great to catch up with some friends I havent seen for months, and with some I have never seen at all.

But it can not replace having spending time with your boyfriend. So today, a part of me left Bangkok too, and there were tears last night. I will see the bf again in a month, but I will not see Bangkok again in the same light anymore, never ever.

I love my life here in Bangkok and I love this city. But an important part of loving Bangkok was spending time here with my bf. We had a great life here together and I am very sad that this has come to an end.

The bf never managed to develop great affection for the city. He didnt like his school, and most of all, he never managed to deal with the heat. Every time the poor boy was outside for 5 minutes, his face would look like a waterfall...that's what growing up in Christchurch NZ does for you I suppose...

One thing I know though. As we were sitting in the taxi to the airport, the bf suddenly became sad. I told him that I will ask him what he thinks of Thailand again in a months time, and he said: " I will probably say that I hate Koreans, and miss the Thai people, the food, the weather and Bangkok."

I agree with this!!!

BF comes to badminton with me / a disastrous Indian food party

It's all very stressful here. The boyfriend lives with me now, but instead of having a few nice evenings together before he leaves, we spend hardly any time together.

On Saturday, we had a disastrous food party at my condo. The bf told me the evening before that about 12 people would come (I thought, it might be about 4 or 5). I didnt like that, but ok...

There were 14 people in the condo, not just two...

We were meant to meet two guys at 4pm, so that the food they will cook (Indian food, one of the guys being Indian) will be ready by 7pm. At 7pm we started cooking and the first people started trickling in.

I warned the condo management that a few people are coming to see me tonight. The manager said "no problem" but the guard in charge gave me snide remarks the whole night. I really hate him. I gave him some Red Bull once and he will not get any more now...

The Indian guy, with the help of some other people, finished cooking by midnight!!!! 5 hours for two curries and some Naan bread. I must say, the food was nice, but by that time, I was too tired (from cleaning the condo the whole day for the guests).

I went into my room to relax and left the bf to deal with the mess. That was not very nice of me, but I couldnt take the noise and the fact that some 12 people took over my kitchen and condo anymore....ayyyy

Now we have about 1.5 kgs of pre-made chicken in our fridge (I ate some yesterday and now I cant stand chicken anymore...)....what to do?

Today, I will take the bf to badminton. It should be interesting. How will the other faggots react? I suppose we'll see who likes me (the ones who will throw a fit and ignore me for the night) and those who dont mind (the ones who will gossip and come to say hi to the cute Korean)...

By the way, I have changed the comment function on my blog.

Now you will get a pop-out window where you can tell me your opinion about my posts, or write me your confessions of love. I would prefer if you fill in a name, so I know who writes me. You can also write "Bill Clinton", or "Thaksin Shinawatra" if you want.

Being called a "faggot" in Nana - tales of a fun night out!

Things are changing again in my life. I now live with my boyfriend. He moved on two nights ago, much to the astonishment of the guards. I explained them the situation, and they said it's not a problem.

Actually, I started "bribing" the guards last week. When I went to 7eleven, I bought some Red Bull and other energy drinks and little boxes of juice. They really loved that. I asked them which brand they like best, and they answered they prefer coffee, so coffee it should be the next time.

It's helpful to have good relations with people that are near your sphere of life in Thailand. This is called corruption in Western countries, here in Thailand it's a way of life. You help me, I help you, it's nothing bad. The guards protect my home, so I am nice to them too...chai mai?

Yesterday night, I went out with the boyfriend and his gang from school. They are: two Thais who have lived abroad for a long time (one can not even write or read Thai), one Malaysian with Filipino-Japanese girlfriend, a Sudanese with English girlfriend and a Chilean-Belgian guy.

With me (Swiss-Australian) and the bf (Korean-Kiwi), we racked up quite a few nationalities...this is what happens if you study in an international school, like the bf does. I on the other hand only met Thais in my class.

The Malaysian guy is leaving on Sunday, so we went out for a goodbye dinner - to Nana. Gays like me are usually very weary of such straight places, I on the other hand find it hilarious because the scene is usually quite comical.

The German beer place, I can recommend ERDINGER

We sat down at this "German" beer place, where you buy a pint of beer for at least 100 baht and then you get BBQ for free. It's a great deal.

I am normally very skeptical of such deals because I like good-quality food, but since the BBQ was only going for about 20 minutes (until they finished their meat), the food was good. I have also not had such a good coleslaw (the Aussie side) and a Kartoffelsalat (potato salad, my Swiss side) for quite some time.

The place was full with the straight expat crowd, all looking exactly the same. Jeans, a t-shirt/polo, more or less hiding a well-rounded tummy, a shaved head in various colours between bronzed and red.

There werent many prozzies on the prowl, these men were all there for the cheap feed. Some already had their girlfriends. And a good few of these actually flirted with me.

As I was standing in the line, the Filipino-Japanese girl arrived. Interestingly, she is a major fag-hag. So she didnt arrive alone, but brought about 4 Pinoy fags with her. One of them I knew from my early days here.

He's the typical "friend of a friend". A very nice guy, but we never managed to get to know each other, because a jealous queeny Thai guy was always between us. And I dont mean this in a sexual way.

Anyhow, the Pinay shrieked when she saw me in the line and said: NICE SHIRT, BB!!! I said: THANK YOUUUUUU. The guy next to me, an expat example I described above said: YES, NICE SHIRT, BUT YOU LOOK LIKE A FAGGOT!!!!!

That was an invitation for me to react and hit back, something I love to do. I told him: YES, I AM ONE (FAGGOT), IS THAT A PROBLEM FOR YOU?

oh my gawwwwwd this man blushed and his ego just shrank to a total minimum....he smiled awkwardly and walked off quietly, not to be seen again. HA, faggots rule!!!!

The place where I was rightly called a faggot

Later, the night turned from fun to awesomely fun. Turns out the Pinay girl and the bf share the same style in music and she and her love to bitch together. I dont know why I always make great friends with Filipinos, it must be their openness and "out-there" way of conversing, but I am thrilled to know her. (She has a blog too by the way, find it here: Bellestar)

Her boyfriend was telling us how when he slept at his classmate's place, his classmate was touching his cock in the morning and said: hey, it's so big...

....to which the girlfriend responded: AND HE CALLS THAT BIG????

Hahahaha, that was so mean! You dont talk about a man's best parts in such a way. Women might not know, but insulting a man's penis is something that should be avoided...

We moved on to the Volkswagen Minibus makeshift bar placed on the sidewalk in front of the Nana shopping mall. The host there is gay and his workers are all tomboys (boyish lesbians). They played a lot of 90's music, and we sang, drank, kissed and took pictures of the mayhem.

My bf always gets so touchy and feely when he's drunk, it's very cute...he'll just lean over and give me french kisses, no matter where we are. I wonder how these pictures turned out actually...

As I am writing, the bf is in the bed with a headache. Today, 12 people (the same people as last night) are going to come to my condo to cook Indian food (one is Indian). My Swiss side tells me: "go and clean the condo before they come!" My Australian/Thai side tells me:"It's gona be fun!"

another year's over...

Christmas is coming soon. Someone on facebook wrote in their status: "another year's over and what have you done".

That really really made me thoughtful, well actually quite sad. It's nearly the end of September, and if you live in North America or Europe, the Christmas music in the malls will start very, very soon.

This must be like the earliest annual review of all times, but I am really in a nostalgic mood right now. This has its reasons.

In much less than a month, my bf will leave Bangkok. I have now been with him here in BKK for nearly a year, and needless to say, it will be not the same without him.

He is going to visit his parents in Korea, flying to Macau, taking the boat to Hong Kong, the train to Shanghai and Qingdao and the ferry to Incheon/Seoul. It should be a nice trip for him...

About 3/4 weeks before leaving a place is always when you slowly start realising that you are soon going to part way with not just your city/home but also with your friends, your hangout places, the things you do every morning, in short: EVERYTHING.

I am not good at saying goodbye so it will be teary. Usually it has always been me going away, either to Europe or to New Zealand and the bf had to come home to the empty flat and the routines without me.

This time it will be me. When he leaves next month I will not want to go to his home area (Ratchada) anymore. It would be so empty... In his soi, he's made friends with a Chinese-Thai lady at the foodcourt.

When I was gone, she once said to him: "you are alone in the city so I take care of you". How sweet! Whenever the bf goes to eat there, she gives him free drinks and he usually brings some food for her too to share it.

I think she is either unable to have children and has now 'adopted' the boyfriend, or she is a lesbian. The bf said: "she is going to cry for sure..."

I wont leave BKK just yet, but soon. 11 December is my flight out of BKK and I really cant imagine not living here anymore. Already now I start looking at buildings and roads and wonder whether this is the last time I am seeing this, or that place...

In the meantime, I have a lot to do, so I wont have much time to visit places, meet up with friends and contemplate.

Until early November, my second thesis needs to be finished, so I can go to Korea to visit the bf. After that, I have a few days time to either relax in BKK, write more on my thesis, or go on a little trip.

In December, I will fly to New Zealand for my graduation, back to Switzerland for XMAS with the boyfriend (first time in Europe for him) and then off to Australia for a new life...(all via Bangkok).

"So this is Christmas;

and what have you done?"

Yes, I am asking myself that question too. The other day I looked through my iPhoto album to check what I have been up to in 2009 and it's really scary...

Whatever I think I have done in 2009 was actually 2008...I have been in Thailand for nearly TWO years, not one...

In 2009, I travelled like there's no tomorrow....Switzerland, Italy, Belgium, Laos, China, New Zealand, Laos, and soon....Korea, New Zealand, Switzerland (and some more European countries).

I must be crazy....what useful things did I even do? Well.....I finished one degree, a thesis packed with 75'000 words/250 pages written in 4 months, and another one is one the way.

But is that something to boast about? No, I dont think degrees are any difficult. I have seen people getting the same degree as me who didnt know anything about the world, let alone our subjects...

I am proud of my theses though, they are good, valuable, useful, practical yet well grounded in theory. I have done real research, interviewed people, made graphs, tables and analysed like crazy...I havent just copied ideas, I had my own.

On Silom Farang's blog people are discussing how to invest their thousands of well-earned dollars/euros in condos (or not) or how much monthly wage/rent they should pay their boys and how many condos/cars they should buy them, I am on the other side of the working career.

For me, it is time to start real life. I am sick of getting money from my parents. Not that I dont want it, but I am started to feel ashamed that I cant support myself at 26. My parents have been so generous (they also have the opportunity to be, luckily), I want to pay them back - I want to show them that they were right to support me.

A degree however is hardly an achievement...so now I need to find a job...

What else have I done? Well, it has been practically a year since the boyfriend arrived here. That also means that exactly today a year ago is the last time I had sex with someone else than the boyfriend.

It is a known fact that when living with a boyfriend, other friendships will sometimes suffer. Most of my best friends live overseas though, mostly in Europe, so I get to spend very little time with them anyway.

For the ones here, especially Kawadjan, I am sorry if I was a bit less adventurous and fun this year...the bitchy Silom nights are definitely a thing of the past, but I think we can look back with a smile.

Otherwise, I have not made many new friends. I had hoped that I could make some new friends through this blog, especially fellow bloggers. They are however either too shy, or there are simply too few of them around...

With the Thais, it was the same as last year. Many acquaintances, countless wonderful people, magic moments, some flirts, and to be honest, if I wouldnt have a boyfriend already, a few candidates, all better than anyone I dated while I was still single...

I never took anyone seriously though, because what's the point if you are already happy?

For the bf and me, this has been a very important year. I think we have both grown enormously in personality. We went through difficult times, especially when I was away, or when I told him about the blog. We have also both realised how we get on each other's nerves - and we both try to do this a bit less...

So, maybe this is the most important achievement of the year then. Why does it always have to be career or money? Consolidating a relationship should be a good achievement, no?

Now we are looking to a common future in Australia in 2010. Wish us luck!