BB [the bitch of bangkok]

New Blog "Asia in Australia"

2010-02-25T03:25:00.001-08:00

Since I moved out of Bangkok a few months ago, I have decided to shut down this blog. As it goes with blogging, it can be addictive. I had always thought that eventually, I will start a new blog.

Now, the new blog is born and the baby goes by the name of "Asia in Australia".

Here is the link.

The blog is still very young, but it slowly taking shape. I encourage you to visit and have a look.

The content is very different from before, as I try to find a more serious voice and a different point of view. It might be less personal, but I hope through my picture-taking, I can still bring some personal flavour to the new blog.

So, I hope you can make the move with me. From Bangkok to Australia, but never totally leaving my favourite area of the world, Asia, out of sight.

Impressions from Korea 2

2009-12-15T22:55:00.000-08:00

This is an ad campaign on the countryside, apparently for potatoes. Question: would you trust this lady in a skirt to sell you potatoes???

This is what the old men in the bakery complained about: young men look like women these days. It's true...although I think this ad campaign is a few years old.

How could this guy be any more gay??? and then the black net shirt....gosh. You can also see in the picture that he couldnt care less about the girl, but rather rather look at the beer...

The same guy....this being Korea I would not be surprised if he actually had a girlfriend. I asked my boyfriend before if he thinks that these girly-looking guys can even (excuse me...) fuck a girl. I speculated that the guy is probably ultra-passive...a straight bottom of some sort.

The boyfriend thought that they might not even have sex...someone who knows Korean men more the I do please explain me this phenomenon of ultra-gay looking guys with girlfriends...

This is the Japanese high school class from Namsan. I was a bit surprised because the boys and the girls seem to come straight out of some porn fantasy...The girls with their mini skirts hugging either other being all "cutey cutey" (god knows how they managed to be cute with a miniskirt at -5C degrees). And the guys with their orange high hair (I could swear I saw some of these guys in a little "movie" before...)

These are our Thai friends....I dont know how words can describe their looks...Both guys were so camp it was not funny anymore...The one on the left came to the toilet straight after I came out. God knows how shocked I would have been if he would have stood right next to me....

I will miss...

2009-12-07T07:07:00.000-08:00

And here I am, sitting in front of the computer with a bottle of scotch whisky finishing it up straight from the bottle. That might be a metaphor.

I am also finishing up my stay in Bangkok. Arrived on the 20th of March 2008, leaving on the 10th of December 2009, something like 21 months in Bangkok. As you might have noticed I am leaving with a heavy heart. I fell in love here, not just with my boyfriend again but also with a city and its people.

I am not a good "good-bye-sayer" but this good bye has been so slow it is not affecting me so much anymore right now. First the boyfriend left two months ago and since then, nothing was like it was before with him. Then, sadly a few days too early, my dear friend Kawadjan left too, without whom Bangkok is a bit dull.

Now, I am having friends coming day by day to pick up things I do not need anymore. Surprisingly, despite so much stuff leaving my condo, it still doesnt look empty...

*gulp* ...one more sip from the whisky.

So what's next? I am flying to New Zealand for graduation this thursday. There, I will meet my parents who are already there holidaying for a few days. Then, we head to Switzerland (with a 23 hour stopover in BKK) where we meet the boyfriend again. I will spend Christmas in Switzerland with the whole family this year, for the first time in 6 years. And....with the boyfriend too.

After that, I am moving to Australia...looking for jobs at the moment. That's the next few months in a nutshell.

Bangkok however does not feature in my plans. Even though part of me always remains here of course, I can not continue this blog. It would not make sense.

I think this blog has been very tied to Bangkok. People who read my blog want to know about Thailand, about Bangkok and probably also specifically about gay life in Bangkok. A "Bangkokbitch" can not blog from Sydney, so this will have to end.

I must say I had an absolutely amazing time blogging. It takes much more time than I thought but I really have to thank Kawadjan from motivating me to start my own blog.

Blogging is about saying something for me. People who have something to say, should do so, and blogs are perfect for that! I have always seen my blog as a mix of personal stories, which were a bit naughty at first and became a bit toned down (like my real life too) later on.

Then, there were some opinions mixed in. They were not always appreciated because I probably insulted a few people. Im sorry for that but when people have opinions, that can happen. A blog is not here to appease people but to state opinions too, even in a gay-themed blog.

I couldnt say what was the biggest "high" of this blog, because every reader will pick out something he (or she) likes the most. Some liked pictures of boys, others liked the naughty stories, most liked personal stories, some liked opinions and bitching and others also liked my travel writings.

And that was the beauty of the blog and blogging in general. It's like the ultimate free market. You can consume for free if and whatever you want. If you dont like it, you can go away within a split-second. You can even leave instant feedback.

For the writer, I find blogging an amazing opportunity too. If you manage to get a few readers you can reach their minds within minutes by writing down your thoughts. And unlike in facebook or twitter you can actually write them out properly. You can also upload pictures and be creative in whatever you want to do.

I personally really enjoyed this and I know that I will continue to blog somehow and somewhere. I am not sure if I will link a possible new blog to this. Probably not but who knows. I must admit, I started liking the name of my blog less and less. It is a fun name and very sticky. People tend to not forget it I think.

But, it distracts from the essence. More than once, people commented and wanted to make a point, but then stepped back and said something like: "oh but you are the bitchofbangkok so maybe that's part of the game or character you are playing".

I tried to play a character at first but I must admit I cant do that. I didnt fake feelings or opinions, I was always myself. What you saw is what I am and I always wrote what I was thinking.

So, I want to say thank you to all the reader that have been loyal. I immensely enjoyed my time and without public, this time would have been wasted. Please keep faithful to my blogger friends and if you feel like it, open one too. It's definitely worth the investment!

For now, I want to say goodbye and if you still want to keep in contact with the old bitchofbangkok, follow me on Facebook. If you want to be in contact with the real me, write me an email. The email is on the top right of the blog.

Have a good time in Bangkok everyone, I will never forget this time!

Alone in Bangkok

2009-12-04T07:49:00.000-08:00

I warn you, this is going to be another heavy post.

I have handed in my thesis today, so far so good. I have to defend it on December 18 and then hand i'll be nearly finished. Looking for jobs now...

Actually I am not happy in Bangkok anymore right now. And I am not happy with what I have done in Bangkok during the last nearly two years. I had always thought I am a social person. I usually get along with most people and am quite chatty and I suppose also relatively friendly.

But how can it be that after 2 years of living in Bangkok I am here at home despite really wanting to go out? How can it be that in the next 2 days, I will probably speak to no person except some sales girl at 7eleven?

Well, the two most important people of my time in Bangkok, my boyfriend and bff Kawadjan are currently outside of the country. Then, other friends are busy with their parents and family over the Father's Day weekend.

But these are excuses. I have simply not made many good friends over this time in Bangkok. Time to think back.

I have started here like everyone else does. Talk to a few people on the internet and meet them when arriving here. It was actually quite funny. I arrived in Bankgok at about 1am and was in the hotel by 2am. At that time there were quite some people who wanted to meet me RIGHT NOW. Strange, but I suppose I was fresh flesh.

Then, meeting the first few friends I had made online. Most of them went from fuckbuddy to friends and into oblivion in a few days. With some, I didnt even get to friends. To be honest, I craved sex and being close to someone. I was without it for quite some months before coming here.

Just a few weeks later came the phase of thinking about potential boyfriends. I think that happens with many arrivals here in Bangkok. Although I must say I didnt make the mistake of trying to find them at DJ or at Babylon (although there are certainly nice people in both places).

I like one guy but there was a lot of drama before we were even close to a relationship. That put me off. There was another guy. We had a great time but he was too feminine and that put me off being a top sexually for the next few months. Then there was another guy who lived right next to me. We got along very well too, he slept at my place a lot and went to work in the hotel next door in the morning. Later on there was also a guy who designed baby clothes. I think we liked each other too. But it was nothing serious either. I dont know why but suddenly we didnt meet anymore. Now I lost contact with all of them, which is ok.

By that time, I had already talked a lot to my exboyfriend (at the time, now my boyfriend) who was living in Sydney. He told me he is coming to Thailand to study for a year and basically from the moment he said it I swore myself not to fall in love with anyone until he is here. I wanted to give us another chance.

So I just met people for sex. Sometimes they were friends. I dont remember so well. Some I met at 3am spontaneously, others I went out with them on quite nice dates only to stupidly suggest to "go to my place". Arrived there, we would be bored....and have sex again.

I am not sure if sex destroys friendships but anyway, that's not the point I want to make. I dont even want to think badly about myself for having sex with many people. But, in fact, I just missed out on many other vital things like making friends!

It is actually not so easy. I had a lot of classes and hung out quite a bit with my classmates. We'd always go to Siam together after class and do what Thais love to do: shopping, eat and gossip. But that is not how you make great friends either...

I made good friends with two classmates. One, a girl, lives near me and we meet up quite frequently. I was really moved recently when she invited me to her birthday party as the only outsider (outside her family). It was really nice to be part of her family.

The other one is a gay guy. We were quite close but I dont know why we never became really, really close friends. He was always too shy to ask me if I was busy. And he also lived very far from the city, and then later had a job and I assumed he was busy.

The rest (all Thais) of my class, I was just not interested. They built their own cliques and I wasnt part of that. Apart from school was where I really missed an opportunity to make friends. Just this week I met a friend again whom I met at the beginning. We have similar interests and he studies politics at Chulalongkorn too. He's really involved in NGO work and I should have really gotten involved too.

Chasing boys is really not a good past time...

I had also never met foreigners in Bangkok. How could I? I didnt get involved in anything, I didnt connect with foreigners when I went out. Heck I was even proud of only knowing Thais in the city. But of course, I hardly shared anything with them, so we didnt stay friends.

I had two Thai gay friends. With one I used to play badminton. Then he got a German boyfriend and I wanted to warn him of rushing off to Germany after knowing him for 4 weeks. He was angry at me for that and we never talked again really. We lived near each other in Sathorn and used to just meet up and get a few beers at Family Mart, sit down and talk. It was great fun.

Later, another friend also joined us for badminton. We used to go eat out together too and just talk. that was quite nice....but then things flattened down and when he just kept calling me "fattie", I once threw a badminton shuttle at him and then he didnt speak to me anymore until today.

Then, the boyfriend arrived in Thailand. We spent a lot of time obviously as we became a couple again. I shut off all contact with friends/fuckbuddies because I just simply lost interest in them. since then I have slowly started to talk to people again that I used to get along with, but it's too late now to build new friendships.

In hindsight, the big mistake was to not get involved in anything. No club, no association no nothing. Back in Switzerland, clubs form the backbone of society. Everyone is in a club. Be it the shooting club, the volleyball club, the card came club, the nature and hiking club. Here in Thailand, society is built up differently: first comes family, then comes family, and then maybe old time friends, followed by potential boyfriends and maybe new friends. You dont need to be part in clubs, because you are by default in a "club"....you are in a hierarchical position, which defines a lot of your life anyway. Of course, some people are active in things like Thai dance and music (my classmate), but that's the minority.

And so, I walked through Siam today - alone. There were thousands of people out today. Everyone seemed to have a friend or a partner with them, seemed to enjoy themselves while looking great. For the first time in a few months I actually felt ugly.

I used to walk alone through Siam at the beginning hoping that I could just be with someone or take someone home. Today, it'd not all that different except that I cant take anyone home. So in fact I am even more alone than then.

A lot of lessons to be learned from that. I hope I will learn them for my next stop.

A hot Swiss

2009-12-03T00:49:00.000-08:00

Many people would say there are no hot Swiss people, there are only nice and boring Swiss people. Nice and boring this man on the pictures below may be, but he is really good looking I think.

This man is called Stephane Lambiel and is a twice World Champion in figure skating. Is that ringing an alarm bell? Yes I quickly looked at a few pictures of figure skaters and I think they are nearly all gay...

Lambiel is everybody's darling in Switzerland. Old grannies love him because he's a nice, smart and softly-spoken guy. I think they wish they would have son, grandson like that. I am not sure if young girls (and of course guys) like him too, but I do.

He's never publicly come out with a girlfriend and there have been rumours about him being gay. Lets put these aside, I am sure that this young man (he's 25) IS gay.

Do you agree?

Personal regrets and the diversity of humanity

2009-11-30T21:50:00.000-08:00

My facebook followers will know it, I have nearly finished my thesis now. Writing a thesis is not a good thing for your social life, I tell you. Writing TWO theses in one year is very bad.

I, with my protestant work ethic have written from morning to evening on these pieces nearly every day in these few months. In New Zealand I stayed at the university from morning to 10pm. Here in Thailand, I stayed at home all day, because there is no way you can work efficiently with Thai friends around. You will end up going to eat, going to SevenEleven, going to buy coffee, gossiping and so on...

So I stayed home. This nearly drove me crazy and my contacts with other people have been limited to chatting and telling each other that we should meet soon. I am a bit sad about that. Now, I am suddenly realising that there are about a dozen people whom I could have made really good friends with, but I just missed the chance.

I hope some of these people are patient and accept my apologies. I have always been too tied up with either the thesis, or my boyfriend that I was just simply too negligent of other parts of life.

I will stop moaning now and take this as a lesson....Our social environment is very important, and the family, boyfriend and a few best friends will not do. We need more than that. I'll try harder in my next destination and hope to come back to Bangkok sometime to catch up on what I missed.

In the meantime, I want to share a link with you. I am a great fan of world politics and also personally like photography a lot. I came across this portfolio of world leaders taken by a British photographer taken during the UN General Assembly.

In total, the photographer publishes 50 portraits and gives a short audi-commentary to every picture. Have a look at this site and find your own leader or your favourite.

Usually, we only hear about leader's policies, but in this case, we can hear a photographer talk about these world leaders' facial features and personal character for once. Interesting.

Maybe without realising it, the photographer has created a celebration of different looks and features of humanity. In my opinion, these looks do not represent power at all but the diversity of humanity.

Here are some highlights:

You can not beat Italian charm and elegance. Silvio Berlusconi.

This man, Rupiah Banda from Zambia has an amazing face, so many crevices and lines.

Lee Myung Bak from Korea. The small eyes with the outer end of the eyelid folded over the eye are so typically Korean.

This is a really beautiful face. Evo Morales from Bolivia. Extremely wide and symmetrical features.

Brian Cowen from Ireland. I'd love to have a beer with this man.

Memories with a great friend

2009-11-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

It was not meant to be but today suddenly became a big "good-bye" day.

Earlier this morning the news reached my that my best friend Kawadjan's daddy in the Philippines had passed away. It was shocking news and has deeply saddened me.

Since he would be travelling back home as soon as possible (that being tomorrow), tonight was the last time I saw Kawadjan for many months.

Originally, Kawadjan and I planned to go to Rama XIII bridge near his home, have dinner there and walk around a little bit enjoying the lights and the river. I wanted to see the river again before leaving BKK and this was to be the last time...

But we ended up in Silom with two other Filipino friends (one of them is actually Swiss AND Filipino, so I could even speak some Swiss German). But that is not the point.

The point is that tonight was the last time I saw my friend Kawadjan here in Bangkok. Not forevereverever, but for the last time while I am living here in Bangkok.

I got to know Kawadjan very soon after arriving in Bangkok. We actually met for the first time on April 5 2008 at Saphan Taksin. I think pretty immediately we got along well and had great discussions, even though I talked way to much about myself.

mhmmmm beer lao, my one and only love:)

From then on we shared many great moments, he introduced me to his lovely friends. In the beginning we used to go out to Silom all the time. We'd just get a table in Soi 4, drink beer all night long and bitch and bitch and bitch about everything and everyone. That was sooo much fun.

And then the shopping.....gosh we shopped our asses off. It was JJ market every weekend until we got so bored with it. Then we changed over to Lumpini Night Bazaar until we got bored of that etc....If anyone out there wants to know something about clothes shopping in Bangkok, ask us two, we know for sure!!!

Lately we have been more into the Khao San scene. I'd catch a taxi to Kawadjan's place, we'd get ready and walk to Khao San, eat something at the Khao Gaeng (Rice Curry) place and then hit the Burmese makeshift bar on Rambuttri Street and we drank and giggled and bitched and choz-ed.

My favourite times though were when, sometimes after a night at Khao San, we would grab a beer at the 7eleven (just past the arrogant but divinely cute tea seller) and sit down on Kawadjan's rooftop.

These were among my best moments in Bangkok. The quietness, the lights of the city, the neighbourhood and the cool wind. These were also the moments when we talked a lot about our feelings, ideas, fears or anything else.

The craziest songteaw ride forevaaa

We also went on three trips together: To Sukhothai/Tak, to Sam Roi Yot in Prachuap Khiri Kan province and to the South of Laos last August. All the three trips were extremely memorable. We had great fun together and were a good travel couple I think.

In Tak province, we werent quite sure what to do so we just caught a songteaw to Umphang, which is like the last village in Thailand before Burma starts. That trip took four hours each way and will forever be the most memorable songteaw ride.

There were frogs next to me feet, vomiting ladies next to Kawadjan, little boys sleeping on my lap and a Karen lady who could make it to Paris fashion show with ease...

In Sam Roi Yot, I convinced Kawadjan to rent a motorcycle, and we both had great fun with it. I will never forget the beautiful sunlight when we drove back from the mountain we climbed.

In the South of Laos, we couldnt stop looking at the hot young Laotian boys showering right in front of us in the river. We also biked virtually to Cambodia and slept under a romantic mosquito net.

Anyway, I could go on and on and on. We really had so many great moments and discussions together. and...I nearly forgot it, he also introduced me to blogging. Were it not for him, bangkokbitch would have never been born...

A night at the Burmese

G, I am really grateful for all of this. You have been an awesome friend and I hope we can still spend lots of time together at a later stage in life...

Dont forget to smize and keep posing fiercely with an elongated neck that shows your jaw line!!! Choz!

My geography of bliss and happiness

2009-11-24T08:41:00.001-08:00

Im back in Thailand for 4 days only and have already been offered a boyfriend - by a noodle seller...

After badminton, I always get something to eat from the market just next to the court. Usually, it's dry yellow noodles with dumplings and red pork. Delicious. This time, when I got my noodles, the seller said that I should take the person behind me as my boyfriend. Just like that.

Now I was not sure who he meant, but early I spotted a cute face selling desserts. Still not sure whom I was offered as my new boyfriend, I walked past the cute face. It looked absent, but as I passed, it was suddenly wearing a knowing and little smile.

This is Thailand. In Korea I was offered a girl but in Thailand, people have better sensors to gayness...

In this post, I want to write about a book I read while I was in Korea. It's called "Geography of Bliss" and is written by Eric Weiner, an American journalist who used to be the foreign correspondant for the National Public Radio in India, Japan and Israel.

Anyhow, first I need to really thank Kawadjan for recommending this book to me. He is my most reliable source for interesting book ideas!!! Thanks buddy:) He also wrote a short review of the book in this post here.

The book is basically about the author travelling to 10 different countries on a mission to find out about the people's happiness. Can it be measured? Can we find universal factors which make people happy? Does money make us happy? etc...

The countries the author travelled to are: the Netherlands, Switzerland, Bhutan, Qatar, Iceland, Moldova, Thailand, Great Britain, India, United States.

Not all chapters are equally interesting, but in all chapters, we can learn something about human nature, happiness and about ourselves, and how we might relate to this particular country.

For me, this book has actually been a great eye-opener. I learnt a lot about myself and my home country, Switzerland. It is hardly believable, but Switzerland is one of the happiest countries in the world (behind Costa Rica, Iceland and Denmark).

Why is that surprising? Well, when I lived there and when I travel there, I remember how grumpy the people are, how sensitive to the weather they can be, how Swiss people really do have the worst humour in the world, if any....

But, this rich country in the middle of Europe nearly tops the worldwide list of happiness, which is compiled annually in a worldwide survey of all states of the world. (read more about it and see the rankings here)

The author, who shares my initial thoughts on Switzerland, is also puzzled. But when he travels to Switzerland, he finds out why the people are actually very content with their lives. He doesnt coins a new term for the Swiss people's happiness, CONJOYMENT. Something between enjoyment and content.

In the Swiss chapter, the author describes Switzerland as a country guided by invisible rules which people conform to and thus create a healthy and balanced social environment. I agree. One of the most important rules is that creating envy is a "nono". Because the Swiss know this, they do everything not to create envy.

I once read that in Germany, bigger cars with smaller engines are sold frequently while in Switzerland small cars with expensive engines and interior are sold more often. This does not surprise me.

Part of the rule of not creating envy is that Swiss people NEVER talk about money. Ask a Swiss how much he earns and he'll stop talking to you. Monetary imbalances create envy and are therefore simply not discussed.

Another thing which the author is writing about is the peace the Swiss people can find in themselves and nature. I guess it might be called boredom but the Swiss are exceptional at calmly doing something and letting time pass. In Switzerland, there are countless "Wanderwege" (hiking routes) and dotted along these routes are wooden benches.

Sometimes they are in scenic places, sometimes surprisingly not at all. Often, you can find people just sitting there and looking out into the scenery. This is what the author calls living with the slow process of nature.

I personally am not a calm person. I am emotional, can change moods quickly and sometimes very impatient. But in the right moment, especially when I am in nature, I can become a typical Swiss too and just sit at a spot and enjoy calmly.

The other chapters of the book are also interesting, but the Thai chapter is a bit of a letdown. The author basically spends a few days with a sexpat friend of his in Bangkok and sees Bangkok, and indeed the whole of Thailand through this lens .

Not enough I think. There isnt much about Thailand apart from the usual cliches of "mai pen rai", the Thai smile and the "jai yen" ...yes I cant think about much more.

There are still some valid points the he makes. To think in Thailand is to be unhappy, and to worry is a recipe for disaster. Inconvenient truths and issues are simply not discussed and avoided at all times. Conflicts are therefore solved as indirectly as possible.

Interestingly, there are big similarities between Switzerland in Thailand, especially in the way social interactions take place. In Switzerland, it is virtually forbidden to cause envy whereas in Thailand it is forbidden to cause someone to loose face. In both countries, people really go far to not cause either.

In the survey however, Switzerland is a far happier place than Thailand. Why could this be?

As we find out throughout the book, very important factors in determining the people's happiness can (but dont necessarily have to) be the social fabric of the society and the personal environment, the level of trust between people, any type of security, someone's own expectations, hope, etc...

Interestingly, monetary wealth and the warm weather have hardly anything to do with our general happiness as a people. Neither the thought of "the richer the happier" nor the concept of the "noble and happy savage" holds up. And the hot Thai weather generally doesnt make Thais happier people either.

Personally, I do think money plays a role indirectly. If we have monetary worries, it can seriously impact our feeling of security and social relations with other people. Even more extremely, if we dont have money to buy food, how could we be happy?

In the case of Thailand, I think people are not happy because they are unsure about the future of their country, adverse to the politics in the country and also distrust each other deeply. Thai society in fact, is very unhealthy.

Developing countries in general do face a difficult task of how to not only advance a country's wealth but also the social fabric of a country. Most developing countries do not succeed and that's why we see fights between the old elites, the new elites, the poor, the middle class and all sorts of other groups.

Switzerland has none of these problems. I wouldnt call it a classless society, but in general, people have enough wealth so that there is no need to worry. This actually results in a certain smugness.

I have some of this too I know. The Swiss are so secure in their status as a wealthy and prosperous nation that they become oblivious to the fact that other countries might perhaps do a few things better than the Swiss themselves. This smugness is probably one of the main reasons why it always takes the Swiss so long to become part of international organisations. (the UN for example, and the EU to come later...)

There are some general things that I learned from this book, apart from some rediscoveries of my own Swissness.

On Eric Weiner's tour of the world through 10 very different countries, I realised that the world is just so amazing. We are all human and, we dont necessarily "strive" for happiness, but we certainly all enjoy being happy. But, our paths to happiness are very different.

There is the Bhutanese national policy which focuses on Gross National Happiness, there are the Thai way of "not thinking", the Swiss way of not creating envy and thus creating harmony, the Indian spirituality, the Icelandic embrace of failure, darkness and national pride, the Qatari status symbols and shopping tours for imported art etc etc.

Every country seems to have a way of trying to achieve happiness and it is nice to read about all these different ways, and perhaps reflect on our own way.

For myself, I have learned that I should not judge people so easily. True, that sounds like a simple truth indeed. But here goes the thought: How could we know about people's happiness just by seeing them quickly.

Maybe they drive a big car, have a beautiful boyfriend, earn a lot of money, travel to exotic places, seem in a harmonious relationship, smile a lot....whatever we might think of people in that moment, we might become jealous.

But this jealousy is nonsense, because how can we even know whether someone is truly happy just by judging them because of a possession or a moment in which we see them.

I often get bothered by other people openly displaying apparent happiness, but I am now learning that I shouldnt. I should rather look at myself and think my own path to happiness.

An affair with Seoul

2009-11-22T07:46:00.000-08:00

I am back in Bangkok. We arrived late last night after we apparently had strong headwinds. It was more like three Thai passengers who arrived late for our departure in Seoul...but never mind.

The taxi boy at Suvarnabhumi thought he got himself a gold mine and he excitedly told his friend that he's now going to Saphan Kwai with the farang. But the farang surprised him by speaking Thai and he suddenly lost his cheekiness and got very courteous.

Welcome back to Bangkok. I used to feel the heat and excitement as soon as I left the Terminal. This time, none of both was there. It's wintry cold now and I am not so happy to be back in Bangkok.

Lets see if my mood picks up again when I meet my friends. For now, I am married to my thesis for another week.

For the last two weeks, I had an affair with Seoul. You all know I am a great Bangkok lover and I dont know how it happened but there I was in Seoul all feeling comfy, homely and happy in this monstrous city of 30 million people.

Seoul is a giant metropolis, no doubt about that. There are literally thousands of apartment blocks lining as far as your eye can see. And there isnt just Seoul. You can ride on the metro for over an hour, and what do you see? You guessed it, apartment blocks.

But these apartment blocks are born out of necessity rather than out of enthusiasm. Korea is a tiny country with nearly 50 million inhabitants. Most of the country is hilly and mountainous so where things are flat, high-density building takes place.

But Seoul is not as soul-less as it might sound. Look beyond the facades of the white monstrous apartment buildings and you will find a lot of character.

The old lady with the red coat in the picture is tending to her garden, in the middle of Seoul. There's a moment of serenity in this patch of green just next to the walls of the Seoul of the old dynasties.

In fact, Seoul is blessed with a lot of green. I used to live on the 14th floor of an apartment in Bangkok and all I saw is grey and the sparkling lights of the illuminated bridges over the Chao Phraya river.

In Seoul, there are trees everywhere, and even more importantly, mountains. I am Swiss and you can never ever separate a Swiss from mountains. We love it where the mountains are and I have this innate feeling of needing to go up a mountain to see the view when I see one.

Then, there is the changing of the seasons. Well, we have 25 degrees in Bangkok now but the change is minimal to what Korea experiences each year. During my two-week stay there, the day temperature changed from 20C to just above 0C. From autumn to winter in a few days.

It's really a marvellous thing to see and many a European or North American in Bangkok will probably miss the feeling of seasonal changes.

One of the more surprising things I found out about Korea this time was its abundance of good fruits. Of course, there are no local mangoes, pineapples and guavas there, but the pears, the apples, the mandarins - and most surprisingly the persimmons are very good.

The persimmon is a fruit which was a delicacy when I grew up. In Switzerland, we used to get them from Italy and mum made persimmon cream by mixing the flesh of the fruit with cream once in a blue moon.

This curious fruit, seen here in the middle of the picture apparently becomes ripe when the weather approaches winter...a very late-comer, this curious fruit. All the leaves are gone, but the orange fruit is left.

One other thing which became obvious during this trip is that Seoul has a bustling arts and design scene, which has grown quickly over the last few years. When we walked through this neighbourhood in the centre of the city, we suddenly found a group of contemporary dancers practicing for their show in the open.

This same neighbourhood (located around Hyehwa station) boasts over 100 theatres alone and is a place where cute cafes, bookshops and second hand clothes shops are abundant.

Sadly however, the large majority of cultural happenings are entirely in Korean. This reflects on the one hand that Korea has become a not only proud (which it always was) but also confident and culturally adventurous country.

On the other hand, Korea is still very much a mono-racial society. As a Swiss with a history in Oceania visiting Korea I was an odd appearance. Most Westerners in Korea are American English teachers.

Some apparently become very lonely. There was Mark, a middle-aged guy from Nebraska who just came up to me in the subway and shook my hand and introduced himself. I was shocked.

First, I thought that I am in a movie or something. This man had such a typical American accent and behaviour it was almost comical. But it was true. Mark was looking for someone to talk to, even though I know have absolutely nothing in common with him except that we can both speak English, we are both men and we are both Caucasians.

I actually do have an American friend. She is from New Hampshire, but calls herself Lithuanian, because her grandparents were from Lithuania. We met in New Zealand when I studied there and later on, she taught English in Southern Korea for a year.

She is back in New Hampshire now, but misses Korea. I remember though that at the time, she complained very much about Korea. It was hard for her. She is quite a big girl, so the Koreans made fun of her. She took offense when people hit her on the street with their elbows (something you just have to get used to in Korea) and she didnt like the food.

I have to admit. Korea is a rough place. I cant pinpoint why I love the place either. It's not particularly pretty in the cities (apartment blocks again), the landscape is nice and even quaint but not stunning, the people are nice but they dont even come close to the natural sweetness of Thais.

As a foreigner, you absolutely must learn the Korean language. Otherwise you will just be excluded. You will not be served by some people and ignored by others. The bf's family talked admirably about the Nepalese workers, who are abundant in their neighbourhood. They said that within a year, these Nepalis can apparently speak Korean fluently.

So, within a few decades, Korea has grown from a dirt-poor farming country to an economic and cultural powerhouse. It apparently attracts migrants and visitors from all over Asia. People are crazy over its pop culture (just ask a few Thai teenies).

I dont know how they did it, but I admire it.

As I said above somewhere, there is a price to pay though. Koreans work very hard. You can see it in people's faces that they are tired. People walk quickly and if you are in their way, they will push you away.

Personal freedom in Korea is minimal. The apartments are tiny and the grip of most families on their children is iron. Additionally, most Korean men must serve in the military for 2 years.

The most obvious signs for the lack of personal freedom are the abundant (Love-)Motels. They are literally everywhere. These motels are not just used by men and women for a little fun besides the marriage but mostly, it seems for couples who do not have a place for love-making to enjoy a bit of company. Besides, they are cheap and comfortable too!

Two men kissing in this ad. This has nothing to do with gay by the way.

Just like the love-making in motels, gay life in Korea seems quite subdued. Do not expect anyone to flirt with you on the street. And do not make the mistake of taking every effeminate guy as a potential target.

I am still confused, but when young men looked at me in Korea, I wasnt sure if they thought I was an alien and they wanted to kick me in the butt or if they wanted to do something else with my butt ;)

But all this is changing. The boyfriend and I went to the gay clubbing area of Itaewon on our last night. He was amazed and excited because he never expected to find an entire street populated by gays in his country of birth.

I was a little bit underwhelmed because for such a huge city, this little strip of bars was minuscule. Most of gay life in Seoul is probably not taking place in bars, but rather on the internet or among friends or perhaps even at public baths.

I dont know but this was no Silom. Nevertheless, I loved that little strip of bars. It was much more friendly and lovable than the market that is Silom. There were genuine people of all races which seemed to enjoy themselves. I thoroughly enjoyed myself!

So again, what is it that makes me love this place? I dont know. Perhaps it's the familiarity. I have known my boyfriend for over 4 years, and in this time, I learned so much about Korean food, language and culture that I was never really foreign to the country.

Now, I have moved onto a different level in my relationship with Seoul. Koreans may seem distant but when you become part of a group or family or society, you will be 100% part of the group. They are extremely generous people.

In my boyfriend's family I have found such a group of people who welcomed me with open arms. I am not sure how many of the people I met know that I am not just a chummy mate of my boyfriend, but much more. I suspect it was most people actually.

The dad, I am now sure, knows that we are a couple. When we walked down the street to the airport bus, the boyfriend said: "I think dad really likes you". Just after he said that, the dad came around the corner with a very sad face and said good bye to me. I thought he was going to cry and I nearly cried too.

So...lets see if this affair with Seoul will become more one day. I certainly hope so.

Korean mountains

2009-11-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

Before I am heading back to Bangkok tomorrow, we decided to go on another trip within Korea. Since, as a Swiss, I am eternally bound to mountains and the sea, the choice was easy.

We boarded a bus to the East coast town of Sokcho, from where we could access the supposedly most scenic mountains in South Korea: the Seoraksan range.

It doesnt require a lot of description I think, the pictures do the talking. The mountains, even though of course not as high as Swiss mountains, or even the Himalayas, are beautiful. All the more beautiful because from the top, the sea and Sokcho itself are visible too!

Thai people visited the Seoraksan area too and wrote many messages on plates. I didnt actually really see many Thai people around but they might not be so interested in going up the mountain, as we did. Who knows....but they must have been cold for sure!

One thing I like the most about Korea right now is the soft, organgey winter light. Somehow, I have the feeling the sun is going to set any moment from about 2pm. Because the sun is so low and setting slowly, it casts spectacularly long shadows for several hours.

The sunsets are slow and even though the sun seems weak and not very bright, it still provides for some warmth. Winter hasnt quite arrived yet in Korea, but I surely like the weather now!

The is the sunset in Sokcho city. The city is surprisingly pretty. It sits on a lagoon and has a large harbour, which is still intensively used for fishing. The city centre's main artery is a neat and cute road with many lights and a surprisingly large amount of women's fashion.

Surprising because I didnt really see many people shopping at all...but then again it is really low season at the moment. Apparently most people come here during the summer months (it's only a 2.5 hour ride away from Seoul) and around the festive season at the end of the year.

On our last night, we also went to this cute harbour, which serves Korean sashimi. We had some but I wasnt impressed. The fish seemed all tasteless and chewy. Apparently this is how it should be though...

In general I really love Korean cuisine. A lot of vegetables, which are always included in the meal and dont just sit on a plate idly like a piece of broccoli in Western cuisine. Plus, I cant get enough of the Kimchi (fermented cabbage with chilli). To end the day, we had stuffed Octopus. Yummy!

Today, we are off to some souvenir hunting. My Thai friends all love Korea, so I suppose I need to bring them something besides all the creams they ordered me to buy here. (Korean brands in Thailand are extremely expensive whereas here they appeal to the mass market and are a lot cheaper)

Later on we might even have a look at the gay clubbing scene. I am not sure if that's a good thing, judging from how good-looking Korean guys have proven to be so far. I hope I can still find "mine" among all these guys and that the boyfriend still has a heart for this "average farang" as opposed to all these handsome Koreans.

Scenic Seoul

2009-11-15T23:11:00.000-08:00

Immediately after we got back from the countryside, dad took us on a ferry on the Han river. Traditionally, Seoul was not built on the river but rather next to the river. I dont know when or how the city developed along the river, but now the Han river is somewhat in the centre of Seoul.

On both flanks of the river, multi-lane highways go a long way, to make this otherwise dull river even uglier. But this is about to change. the government has started the "Hangang Renaissance" project with the aim to convert the large majority of the riverbanks into parks.

And these things really happen. Not like in Bangkok, where creating a new park would be akin to a new world wonder.

The ferry ride was actually really interesting, as we could see various areas of redevelopment, the different style of apartment buildings, and occasionally catch a glimpse of the gorgeous mountains around which Seoul is built.

Towards the end of the ride, we arrived at Yeouido Island, where my favourite building in Seoul stands, the 63-building. I am still debating whether the shape and surface of the building make it look retro-cool or just plain cool but I love it. Rarely can you see a building from a few decades ago keep such a graceful and modern aura.

Then we took the bus up Namsan, the mountain just to the south of the ancient Seoul. This is the view towards the Northeast. Apartments as far as the eye can see. It's really impressive.

Recently, Namsan has also become a romantic hotspot. In a country of couples (is it just me or does really every gorgeous man in this country have a girlfriend?) and TV-drama induced kitschy romance, this means something. Just have a look at the thousands of locks with romantic messages chained to the fence.

Some actually had cute messages, while others were just pathetic (I will love you forever and ever and you are the man of my life (after 3 months marriage)). Good luck to these couples...I would like all to know how many of these locks have been "unlocked" already.... (e.g. the couples are not together anymore)

Of course, being on top of Namsan is gorgeous and the view around 360 degrees is great.

It was actually an interesting spot to be. Up there, we saw Japanese high school kids in their uniform. Why would they wear their uniform overseas??? And we also saw gay Thais. Two TV presenters wore just about every single colour that exists and nearly made me vomit with their style of dress and looks. I wanted to go tell them but then I saw that they were filmed for some TV show, so I was lucky I didnt say anything.

There was also an Uzbek ex-flight attendant who made friends with a Japanese couple. He was obviously gay and oddly looked very much like my boyfriend. It was a bit spooky, but I am now thinking the Central Asian guys could be a new fashion soon!!! For my part, it made me think that if every gay Uzbek would look like him I would like to visit sometime...

Back to the roots in the Korean countryside

2009-11-15T14:28:00.000-08:00

Before travelling to Korea, I made up a plan that I would like to visit mainly the countryside, since I had been to Seoul before. I thought, about 3 days Seoul and then off to the countryside, perhaps even touring around the whole of Korea (this country is about as a bit as Isan so this should be possible)

Such things however hardly go according to plans. We were somewhat stuck to Seoul in the first few days because it's an interesting and exciting metropolis where you can visit countless neighbourhoods and discover new areas, museums and not to mention the thousands and thousands of restaurants in every street.

Since we included the bf's dad more and more in our plans, he began to enjoy our company too and started taking us to all sorts of places. Suddenly, it became a family affair and this culminated in the visit to dad's home city over the weekend.

Dad's family hails from a proud dynasty of previously Chinese confucian scholars and is very rooted in his hometown. The town is very provincial and situated in the middle of Korea.

Here you can see a picture of Goesan (괴산), on this nice sunny winter day.

I was curious how the countryside would compare to the glitzy Seoul. Korea as a country is not as rich as its neighbour Japan, and nowhere near as rich as the main Western European countries. That doesnt show in Seoul, but it shows on the countryside.

The bus terminal had not been renovated in a few decades and in the shops, old people were heating up the room with an old-style oven, on which they brewed hot water for tea and coffee. It is not a charming place, but hardly anything is in Korea anyway.

I however am a countryside boy too and enjoy a bit of grittiness. It gives this place a real feeling. Nothing is pretended. Even though Goesan seems to be underdeveloped compared to Seoul, the enormous changes that have come to this countryside town in the last few decades illustrate the rapid development Korea has gone through.

The dad told us how they had no continuous power in his house until he was in middle school (about 40 years ago) and how there were no asphalt roads until a few years ago. His grandma was apparently brought to Goesan from the neighbouring village to marry the grandad on tiny dirt roads.

Now, the old house has been renovated and has a modern feel to it, included with a nice warm floor heating system, which is common in all Korean houses. There is cable TV and anything you could wish for.

But the family still own some rice and chili fields in the area. Anyway, the region is heavily agricultural, especially focused on chili, ginseng and cabbage, of which tons area needed for the famous Kimchi (conserved cabbage with chili), which is eaten to EVERY meal in Korean cuisine.

Everything Chili: Bus stops and taxis!

As the three of us arrived in Goesan, dad immediately said that there is nothing to see here and we'd better get on a bus to see the national park, 30 minutes up the mountain. After eating the local speciality (River Snail Soup, Olgaengi guk), we got on a bus to an even smaller town.

If Goesan was something like the capital of a very rural region, we were now in a small town of a very rural region. People in Korea, who normally do not care about Westerners were now surprised to see me and some local men even asked whether my boyfriend is a girl or a boy (he really doesnt look girly, just has a soft face).

The man said that these days in Korea, you'd have to strip people naked to see if they are a girl or a boy. How fitting, looking at the ads of ultra-femme boys in pink clothes smiling at us constantly.

We then proceeded to Songnisan National Park, which was gorgeous. The dad also showed us an ancient palace area, which was apparently where their distant ancestors lived. It was also freezing cold, so we didnt stay for long.

We then went back to the family house, which is usually empty most of the year. This weekend however, other people were there too, so 7 people shared a two-room house. This is easily done in Korea, where just before going to bed, people unfold a portable mattress, and just go to sleep.

These mattresses seem comfortable at first, but not not protect you much from the hardness of the floor. I am looking forward to the Thai massages in Bangkok to get my back sorted again:)

In the morning we woke up to a powdered white landscape and freezing temperatures. See the view here:

We then took the car for a short ride to the cemetery of my bf's grandad (and a range of other ancestors, seemingly). Family cemeteries in Korea are on peaceful hills, which is actually really beautiful I think.

On the back of the grave, my bf's name was engraved in the stone. This astonished him and he said: "I am surprised to see so many traces of me so far away." It made me happy because it was nice to see that he is rediscovering his family in a place he hadnt been to for many years.

On to the countryside

2009-11-13T15:58:00.000-08:00

The last few days were very busy. Only a week has passed since I have been here but I already cant remember on which day we did what.

In these last few days, we walked through an artsy district where there are at least 50 theatres close to each other, and where we saw an impromptu performance of a contemporary dance group. The setting was so beautiful. The winter sun shone on the stage and the shiny yellow of the ginkgo tree leaves gave the scene a very yellowy, orangey, warm feeling.

We also went for more shopping to the Dongdaemun area. This is the Jatujak market of Seoul, where you can find everything - mass-produced sadly. We did find about four shops however with cute clothes and bought a lot there, since Dongdaemun prices are decidedly below other areas.

The boyfriend and I also met an old friend from Switzerland. We used to play volleyball in the same team when we were teenagers. The boyfriend asked what kind of player I was. My friend said I was difficult to play with and the bf suggested I was probably a drama queen player.

We had seafood stew (reader JR will enjoy if I put the Korean word up: 해물탕)

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ (This is the Korean version of the Thai: 5555555+)

(5 in Thai is pronounced HA, so 55555 becomes hahahahaha)

The visit is also getting much more family-oriented. We planned to go on a countryside trip two days ago, but yesterday was the boyfriend's grandad's death anniversary. That is a big event in a family, where some people come together and celebrate a little ritual.

The family was extremely friendly and it was really nice to see the boyfriend rediscovering his family, and me being welcomed so openly. I was introduced by the dad as "best mate"...whatever that means...:)

In a moment, we should be off to the family home upcountry. I wonder if I am going to be reminded of the Thai countryside or if the urban jungle of Korea has even reached the backwaters, where the boyfriend's family is originally from.

p.s....pictures to follow when I have more time...

The image of Korea: unfriendly people and TV dramas?

2009-11-10T17:03:00.001-08:00

In Thailand, Korean people are not seen as very friendly or warm. Korea is also seen as a country with no history to speak of. Instead, Korea's image is tinged into a rosy coloured fluffy world. This is the world of dramas and boy bands.

For all those of you who dont know, Korea is THE Asian leader in producing popular culture. It used to be Japan, but now it's Korea. They do two things very well:

1.producing TV dramas that capture the Asian masses from Manila to Jakarta, Bangkok to Beijing and Taipei to Hanoi. 2.producing boybands with the cutest and most handsome singers of all Asia and market them extremely well to the masses of (see above...)

Korea is doing something what America has done for a long time. Make the people like your country via popular culture. This is a very powerful tool and I can see what crazy thing it does to my Thai (girl)friends' minds. They think Korea is some kind of heaven where cute boy band members are just waiting to be married.

Anyhow, needless to say that the image is wrong. Just like the image of Europe that Asians have (castles, old buildings, lifestyle etc) is somewhat wrong.

Korea is developing extremely quickly, perhaps most visibly seen in the thousands of apartments that have sprung up in the last few years. Development comes at a price though. And as usual, not all people manage to catch up. Old people are forced to take on development, as attendants on the subway are no more. You can not buy a ticket from a person anymore in the subway, it's just machines there.

The dear old people seem to cope pretty well though and I have seen old people help other old people use the machines. I have also seen that people are actually extremely friendly to help with anything. This has surprised me a bit, since Korean people are often seen as brash and loud. However, I do remember when I was here alone, I did struggle a bit with the people. As long as you can speak Korean, it's fine but if you dont, expect people to turn away from you.

Another thing which was pointed out to me by my boyfriend is the people's personal freedom. Society here is very Confucian, so essentially organised in a similar way as in China, or even among Chinese Thais. Family means everything and age and status counts a lot.

Yesterday, when I met my bf's auntie, she immediately asked my age. I thought she perhaps wanted to say that I look younger or older, but it was just to know my age, nothing to do with my looks.

Another interesting story to tell happened two days ago. The boyfriend's dad invited us to come to a shop where a friend of his sells ropes. We arrived there and were told to sit down and have a drink. We were served Korean wine, which tasted like marshmallows mixed with cidre and told to have some pig's trotter and kimchi. Great, I thought. We get invited in a real Korean way.

Then the men started to introduce themselves and shake our hands. A few moments later, I noticed that something was a bit off, when the business owner started to talk about his daughter and my bf's family. Then, I overheard him talk about a party at his house and by then I remembered that the boyfriend told me that his dad is suggesting that he should meet this girl he used to know for a drink.

Ahhhh, now the pieces came together. My boyfriend, still unmarried, was to meet this man's daughter at a party so they could get to know each other. The boyfriend got very uneasy about it all and wanted to leave quickly. Outside, he told off his dad for taking us to the man and told him he will never meet this girl.

It's not all as dramatic. His dad was not the main player in it all, it was the business owner who organised it. I was also to meet his other daughter (I didnt understand that in the conversation earlier on) on the countryside in their house somewhere. It did not sound intriguing to us...

The boyfriend's dad officially does not know that we are a couple. He knows me for years though. In New Zealand I often took the phone when my boyfriend was away. I learned how to say that my boyfriend is at work and when he will come back in Korean. Now we got to finally meet.

It's all good and there are no problems. We can not communicate so much though but that doesnt matter so much. The dad is very friendly and an active person. We bring him some food home every day and he loves it. It's probably even obvious to him that we are a couple.

But, it's not easy for parents to accept our identity. The first step, to somehow realise that their son is different and is not so interested in getting married to a girl and have kids is probably quite easy. Parents feel quickly when something is happening to their children. The second step, to really accept the fate that the son will fall in love with other men is probably quite difficult.

The boyfriend's mum has passed step number two a while ago. Last night, we met her at her apartment, which is not quite in the centre of town. She lives in a small studio above her sister's BBQ restaurant, but we went to each Kamja Tang (Potato soup) together.

I used to think the soup is quite spicy and tasty but since I am used to Thai food, I would say it's quite herby. The main ingredients are potatoes, pork bones (with some delicious meat of course), leaves, rice cake, mushrooms and other vegetables. It's delicious. The soup is boiled in a big pot and everyone eats directly from it.

In Korean restaurants, such food is eating on a very low table. This would be a horror for Thais, because your feet are constantly pointing at people and your bags and jackets are put on the floor next to you. The floor is wooden and warm but also hard and I lost any feeling in my right leg by the time we were finished...

Later, the bf's mum bought us giant Peppero sticks. Today is Peppero day and girls have to buy their boyfriends peppero sticks. (Peppero is the Korean equivalent for Pocky, a wafer stick with chocolate around in different variations). Then, the boyfriend showed me his old school and old apartment building where he grew up until 10 (when they moved to New Zealand).

It was very nice to see the surrounding and imagine a cute little primary school boy, who will later become my boyfriend, run around the neighbourhood.

Then, we went back to the mum's apartment and watched Korean dramas. I heard about them so many times but never actually watched one. And now I know why people can get hooked to them. So much happens in one show. Something like the husband of a woman goes through plastic surgery to take revenge for an affair. Then the nurse falls in love with him. The guy suddenly has a brother turning up who is having an affair with the wife. Etc....it's all.....well....drama.

So, my experience reinforces what commentator JR said two posts ago. Koreans are very welcoming and we are welcomed as a member of family very quickly.

The temperature is dropping and it was only about 5 degrees last night. Today I better wear my new ultra-warm jacket!

Impressions from Korea

2009-11-10T06:36:00.000-08:00

We played this game trying to win a cute alarm clock. You have 20 seconds time and one try to position the white probe. We failed...:(

No hugging allowed in this cinema! And dont even think of making out with your boyfriend.

This was a very interesting exhibition with paintings from a former North Korean propaganda painter. It featured Kim Jong-Il as a femme fat dancer and other interesting paintings...loved it. The painter's alias is Sun Mu. He will not tell us his real name otherwise his family in North Korea has a problem.

On a more lighthearted note. THE DONKEY SHOW. In Korean it says something about a romantic play but I dont see any romance in this....just hot Korean men...! I dont know what the donkey refers to either....

Arrived in Seoul

2009-11-09T05:45:00.000-08:00

The area where we are staying

Well, what I can tell you so far from staying there for two days is that there are plenty of them around. In fact, they are EVERYWHERE! The boyfriend and me attract quite a bit of curiosity from gays. They are quite curious about this farang-korean couple it seems. And they are actually quite open about it too. This is a bit surprising to me. When I was alone the last two times, I did not attract any interest.

Either I looked ugly then, or I didnt go to the right places, or I was not obviously a gay person. Now however I am and the interest is there. One more thing about Korean men: they are simply gorgeous. Someone should have told me before I moved to Thailand, but I am sorry I prefer the Seoulites...They have clearer and sharper faces, and are a bit on the taller and broader side than the Thais. And....they have style.

This is another thing I didnt notice the last time. In fact I was disappointed. But dressing up is really in fashion here. A very popular style is a black casual jacket with a buttoned shirt and jeans. niiiiiice. plenty of variety too. And there are now a lot more fashion stores too. I love the winter fashion here. Sadly, it's all a little expensive....and it slightly pisses me off to see people younger than me shopping casually in expensive shops.

One more thing about Korean men. I am afraid but my gaydar is sometimes really failing me here. It's blinking too much, when it should not. In fact, I am not sure....because I can not believe how feminine Korean guys act sometimes. There are ads with handsome men wearing pink clothes, jumping around waving their hands. It's just so.....GAY! But no, they have a girlfriend, and even carry her handbag! Today, I spotted one checking his hair throughly in the mirror while the girl was shopping for clothes.

Now who knows what this all means. Perhaps there is a little repressed girl in "oh-so-many" straight guys in the West too, or maybe some of these Korean men are in the closet and get totally dominated by their woman. We do not know, but i'll try to observe more.

Lotte World inside

Today, the boyfriend and I went to Lotte World. That's a theme park, similar to Disney World. Most is under a giant glass roof and I really can not believe how many rides and other things they can fit under a roof! I must admit I am not big on theme parks, but the boyfriend loves them. I did tell myself not to disappoint him and go on some quick rides. The first one was a balloon ride around the whole territory just under the roof. Nice!

Then, we chose the fastest ride next. I twas called "French Revolution", who knows why....It didnt look so quick. BUT IT WAS!!! It started off relatively easy, but then suddenly we went down 180 degrees....and left and right and around and upside down and gosh, my hair must have looked terrible! My head was spinning from then on and relaxed only hours later. But it was fun! The theme park was kind of odd, because all the rides and buildings had some sort of European ancient theme, where they deliberately mixed stone age, baroque, middle ages and who knows what. As long as it's a bit European. The rest was a weird mix of Egyptian and Arab design, with some monkeys eating bananas and playing the drums and some black man with huge eyeballs playing the trumpet (not real, just for show). It was on the border of racism sometimes.

Lotte World Outside

One thing I really loved about Lotte World was the "waving policy" for the employees. There was no bowing and wai-ing, there was only waving. Buying a ticket? Gamsahamnida (Thank you) Wavewavewave. You are going on the ride? Gamsahamnida. Wavewavewave. It was really cute. A wave with all the movement coming from the wrist....Again, it looked really gay actually. I did have a feeling most of these attendants were gay, because after all, smiling the whole day, waving and helping people is what we are good at, right?

Meet the parents

2009-11-05T08:16:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I am off to Korea. Well, I nearly missed my flight in the first place. I am departing from Suvarnabhumi at 1.15am. Have you ever had a flight departing just after midnight?

They are tricky I tell you. Everyone asks you, so when do you leave? And you are like....ahmmm, Saturday (since 7 November is a Saturday). Or should you be: Well Friday night....but it's actually Saturday already.

Anyway, you already know what happened. I thought I am leaving on Saturday evening and made up a breakfast date (with my professor...) on Saturday. I just thought I'd better check the ticket for the time and bingo, I am leaving a day earlier....Saturday but kinda Friday.

You get the point, I nearly missed my flight and would have not made it to Korea. Thank you professor for asking me out for a breakfast date.

In Korea, it's going to be autumn. I kind of miss the seasons here in Bangkok, although we did have a cool day the other day. It was about 24 degrees and everybody was raving about the weather on facebook and twitter. I saw that last week in nearly snowed in Seoul, but this week it's meant to be 24 degrees. That's quite crazy!!!

The boyfriend is in Korea with his parents, and I am going to meet his dad for the first time. I saw mum when she came to Thailand earlier this year and she's nice. Her face looks like my boyfriend's, especially when they smile, and they are very alike in their cheekiness.

I have talked to dad a few times on the telephone when we used to live in New Zealand. I told him that the boyfriend is at work (in Korean). I have forgotten how to say it though. From what I heard, dad is a calm but lovely man. I am very curious to see how they boyfriend's dad is like, because I see his son nearly every day! They must have a lot in common...

I nearly booked a hotel for my stay in Korea. We are going to be based in Seoul, where the parents live, but also travel through the country a bit. The boyfriend's dad however got really angry when he found out about this and said that I must stay at their place. That's very nice of him!

Sine I got invited to the boyfriend's family home, I had to get some gifts of course. I really like to be generous with gifts. I dont know why, but I just love to see someone's face when they are happy because of something you gave them.

But what to give? It's hard enough for parents (especially for dads!!!) but even harder for someone I have never met....I knew that the bf's dad likes to paint, and is good at it. Actually, the whole family either paints or makes music (boyfriend) or takes pictures (boyfriend's sisters). So, it had to be something artsy.

I came up with something risky; this:

In university I once learnt that there are three things that one should not talk about when meeting a stranger: politics, sex and religion. I am not only violating the religion part but also buying a piece of art, which is a very subjective thing in the first place.

But the picture is so gorgeous (and the boyfriend's dad is at least buddhist, the mum is catholic though) that I had to get it.

For the boyfriend's mum, it was much easier:

Elephants always do the trick in Thailand...and the thing to the right (I dont know how you call this....a wind chime?) is just so pretty!

I got all these things from the same shop, in Paragon....gosh....I had never even been to the souvenir section of Paragon. They had silk there that cost 8000 baht......from that moment on I was a bit scared of looking at prices. But then I found an area with things from the North, which is where I got my presents. They were good value (I would probably pay a third on a market though...).

Then again, the ladies there really had nothing to do and I felt sorry for them somehow. Besides, the goods are very good quality there.

Personally, I find it a bit hard to get souvenirs from Thailand for someone. Actually, there's a total overload of possible souvenirs in Bangkok, but I just havent really found that "one stop shop" for cute, artsy and not too expensive things. Do you have any suggestions?

Later, I went to the Paragon supermarket, where they have the Thai Gourmet Food section. Ohmygod, that is my favourite part of the whole mall. I got dried squid with Thai sweet chili sauce, crispy pork, Thai wafers, dried mangoes and bananas....mhmmmmm, and they let you try everything too!

That's it now, I have to pack (and finish watching America's Next Top Model). See you in KOREA!!!

By the way. Thank you so much for writing me to all the people who reacted to my "growing up-series". I am glad you found it heart warming (as one reader said).

To be honest, I felt confused after writing all these blog entries (I wrote them all in one go). I had just rushed through my childhood and teenage years in 3 hours....and suddenly, here I was in Bangkok on a Saturday morning....

Winter in Bangkok, No Loy Krathong for me

2009-11-03T17:27:00.000-08:00

Wow, I am sitting here in my condo with the windows open and a cool breeze running over my skin. It's so nice! I didnt have that feeling in months. Last night, I slept without the aircon, for the first time in months too. I just left the sliding door to my balcony open.

Bangkokians are loving the arrival of winter. Literally all my Thai friends on facebook and on twitter comment on how they love the cool breeze. People who live in colder countries might now think we are crazy, but the hot weather here is actually not just fun.

I went out to Siam last night, and saw that a lot of people are layering their clothes already. Ah, the fashion conscious Bangkok kids. Not missing the opportunity to show off their cute jumpers or jackets a few times a year. The guards at my condo also wear heavy jackets and complain about the cool...

By the way...we are talking about 22 degrees here, and a bit more during the day.

All the other bloggers wrote about their Loy Krathong festival. I can too, but mine was not fun at all. I tried to meet my fellow blogger from Las Pilipinas, Kawadjan himself with his Pinoy gang.

This year, they decided they wanted to go to Chulalongkorn University for the celebration. I have also heard it's nice there so we were meant to meet there around 7pm. It was packed, like really packed.

The famous Thai organisation skills also added to the chaos - they only opened two gates of 2metres width for thousands of people to enter AND exit the campus. There was chaos, and pushing and an old lady pushed so hard into me, I suddenly thought she stole my wallet. At this moment I was actually SURE she stole me wallet, so I ran out of the crowd to check my bag.

At this stage I had my phone in my hand. I found my wallet and was really, really relieved. I didnt really fancy calling my credit card offices overseas and lose all sorts of other souvenirs and cards I have in my wallet!

In this moment I must have done something with my phone. I think I put it down on the ground. No idea, but it was not there anymore when I got back 5 minutes later. I went to MBK straight away, to check out new phones. Hahaha, my reaction was so immediate.

But I couldnt meet my friends because there's no way in finding friends in such a busy event. No Loy Krathong for me, but the boyfriend is away anyway, so it wouldnt be so romantic...

I did finally get a new phone yesterday. But lost all my contacts, so all my old "friends" from my more active single times are now deleted. That's ok though...

I am not sure if readers liked the series on my past. It was a bit long I must admit. The main purpose was just to show readers "my story". I always think it's interesting to hear or read about the way a gay person grows up, finds out about his own interests, not just sexual but also emotional. The first gay kiss, the first love, the first pain and how we deal with it.

In my case, the family, especially mum has been very sweet with me. I am thankful I can talk to her about problems, but often wish they would all live a bit closer to me...or I a bit closer to them rather!

The reader's reactions have been cold. There wasnt much feedback and only one person bothered to write a bit about their own story. That's ok though. I understand.

When I read other blogs, I dont have the energy to comment anymore. I dont know why but I just dont feel like contributing to an argument or making a point anymore. It's a bit ironic, because we all like to get a lot of comments on our posts, yet we dont comment on other blogs...

I did see on Google Analytics though that the time people spent on the site was much higher than before. 3 minutes is the average that people spend on my blog, before it was 1 minute. Not very much considering the effort that has to be put into the blog.

Thank you anyway to all the loyal readers, and I hope you did enjoy reading some of my experiences and the few pictures I added too. That meant a lot to me actually.

Me growing up – part 5: the family and me being gay

2009-11-01T23:08:00.000-08:00

Papi and mami

After he broke up with me, the first thing I did was calling mum and tell her about what happened. Actually, I told my parents that I had a boyfriend just after I got together with him. They were not happy, but I lived far away and saw them less and less.

I don't know what they thought at the time, but mum and I went on a trip to Paris where she and I got drunk together. That’s the first time we openly talked about me having a boyfriend and whom we would tell and whom not.

During that time, I didn't have a close relationship with my parents. I lived 2 hours train ride away and didn't go home to see them often, because I rather spent my weekend with my boyfriend.

I don't know how things changed, but over time, everything went better. I invited my boyfriend to my home sometimes, where he met my parents. They got along well and even met his parents once. But I lived a life where my parents didn't play a big role.

This changed over time, especially after I came back from New Zealand, where I met my second boyfriend, a New Zealander. To be honest, it was a relationship to forget. We shared nothing. We just had a good time with each other watching movies and doing other stuff…

Back in Switzerland I had a long-distance relationship with him and I was staying with my parents a lot. Our bond grew a lot, but I don't think we discussed gay things so openly.

This was in 2005. Now, things are very different. I talk very openly with my mum, and she asks about my boyfriend. Dad even met him when he came to Thailand they seemed to get along ok. While I was not so sure of my relationship once, mum said something sweet: “you know you can always come to me if you have relationship problems, maybe I can help you”.

On Christmas, the boyfriend will be with me in Switzerland, the first time I will be at a family Christmas in 6 years! Christmas itself doesn't mean much to me, but as a family event, it means a lot to me.

The fact that my boyfriend will be able to join makes it very exciting. Every year I got sent pictures from Christmas including my brother’s and my cousin’s girl- and boyfriends. This year, my cousin even has a baby. Times really do change…and I am not very old yet.

From what I hear from other friends, I am actually quite an average case. I know this is a generalisation, but I heard a lot of times that gay sons get closer to their mum over time but not really to their dads.

I am close to my dad, but we don't talk about relationship issues. I wouldn't even think of doing it. I don't know if I should, or if it’s totally ok to not talk about such issues with my dad.

I am really proud though that my grandparents (I still have all 4!) get to meet my boyfriend. Even though by now, everyone in the family knows I am gay, I want to be open with them and proudly present them my darling.

Grandma, grandad, my brothers and dad

My grandad is getting old and I am their oldest grandchild. Maybe they were hoping for great-grandchildren from me. They know by know there is no big chance for that, but now they have their great-grand child from my cousin.

The other grandparents.

I think there are a lot of issues related to my story that are worth discussing. I can think of many cultural issues for example. Most of my friends now are Asian and the way they grow up can be a bit different from my upbringing.

I was incredibly free. I lived away from home after I turned 19 and lived at least half a dozen time zones away since I was 21. My boyfriend’s parents for example are separated and his mum knows about him being gay and I even met her. But I am only going to meet his dad next week.

Coming out to family is a big issue we have to go through. We all do it differently. Some of us tell it while Gloria Gaynor is blasting “I will survive”, others will just slowly leak information to their parents, others chose never to talk about it even though everyone knows, again others get thrown out of their house, maybe even their families.

I realise I am privileged to have such a family and want to thank them for being so kind to me. See you at Christmas!

Me growing up – part 4: the first boyfriend - officially gay

2009-11-01T11:05:00.000-08:00

My university

Soon after this, I moved to the East of the country, to start university. That was in 2002 and I was 19. Since then, I live away from home. Coincidentally, the curly boy from the gay party lived only 20 minutes away from me. We met up once and I was so happy to see him. He was so cute. I still remember his little jeans jacket and curly head!

We went up to the highest building of the city and I wanted to hug him, but nothing happened yet. The week after, we met again at his place over lunch for just a bit more than an hour. We had lunch and went up to his room, where we hugged each other tightly.

It was a very nice feeling and I had tears running down my cheeks just because of sheer happiness. We were a couple. This was Halloween 2002, exactly 7 years ago.

Actually, we were not allowed to stay together though, because his parents didn't allow him. We tricked his mum (a staunch and stubborn Italian lady) though and on the first night together (new year’s night!) we finally slept with each other.

It was nothing special actually. I don't remember anything of the sex that we had, in all our 1.5 years as a couple. It just wasn't important I think.

We even went to his high school prom together as a couple, and soon, youth from around the region knew us. We became something like a model couple for the gays that knew us, and we took pride in showing everyone that we were a couple.

After he turned 16, things changed for a better, and his family, who always accepted him very well as a gay person (he came out to them by playing them “I am what I am” in the car radio and then telling them that he was gay – SO CLICHÉ!!! But courageous, at 15!) accepted me as his partner too.

Especially me and his mum had a great relationship, and they even took me on holidays to Croatia and to their family home in Parma/Italy once. She told us however that we couldn't make out in front of her dad and we had to sleep in separate beds.

Things took their course and after vicious fighting and bitching, he left me. I was in a lecture and he promised to cook for me, when I was home. When I arrived, no one was there and he didn't take his phone for over a half an hour. Then, he took it and broke up with me.

We are still friends now and get along very well, although there are things about him I don't like so much now. But a bond will always remain somehow. He even asked me if he can stay with me here in BKK (he would be here right now) but I politely declined.

Me growing up – part 3: definitely gay

2009-10-31T23:02:00.000-07:00

After the summer break, the gossip made its rounds and everyone in class knew I had a crush on that guy, except that guy himself. This was odd. Then, a girl got closer and closer to me, we became great friends, had talks until late at night. Later I found out she just wanted to know more about him, and they finally became a couple themselves for a few years.

Most of the class hated her for her behaviour and didn't talk to her anymore. A few months ago, after not seeing her for 7 years or so, I met her in Luang Prabang, Laos, by chance….imagine that!!!

For my family, things must have started to clear up. Maybe things didn't get clear for them at all, and they got confused by the pictures of this guy next to my bed. Who knows, it’s a bit embarrassing to ask: “mum did you realise I was gay when I put up these pictures of my high school crush”?

Things never worked out, and understandably, the guy was a bit angry after he found out that I liked him months after the other classmates knew. Then, I had two quick crushes on guys from other classes. They were really cute, I remember exactly.

One guy, blond and the other guy with black hair and big brown eyes and a tiny goatee. Looking back, I think he is half-Asian, but I couldn't know. I started doing crazy stuff, like going to the blond guy’s basketball games. I somehow got the black-haired guy’s number and wrote him sms. This is the time when I got my first mobile too, at about 18.

I started getting sentimental about things. After volleyball training, I drove up to the hill and parked my car at a place with nice view. I just waited there and listened to music. Then I drove home past the black-haired guy’s home and thought of him…

Thanks to my friend and his gay friend, I also got to know gay people. He initiated a weekly meeting for young gays. We just hung out, drank some soft drinks and ate chips. That was the time when I was introduced to “gay-dom”.

I found it odd. The way people spoke, and especially the way they interacted. Everyone would just hug each other. It was really strange. The boys would just sit on the couch and cuddle.

I never took part in that. There was a couple, I remember their names. Marcel and Markus. For everyone, they were the model couple, but even they hugged everyone else.

I have no idea whether any of these people liked me, but I did like one of the guys. But I was way to shy to say anything, that guy was obviously beyond my reach, I decided.

We organised parties with this group, where the other regional groups from the whole country would meet. We were something like an early group of gay “activists” who took part in something, and that was nice.

The biggest change in my gay life came when at one of these parties, there was a little guy with a cute smile and big curly hair. He was 15 at the time and I remember my gay friend talking about “my 15-year old” all the time.

At the party, the curly boy kept being near me, even sitting on my lap. My straight friend, who came to the party with me told me: hey….he likes you, grab him. But I had no idea what he meant. Later, when I left, we exchanged numbers. I really missed him when I was home and felt deeply happy. He sent me a cute SMS and I think deep down I knew I found someone special.

Only a few weeks before that though, I went to Zurich to a gay club for the first time. I started online dating, and beside a 20+ year old model (whom I never met), this older guy fancied me. I thought, why not meeting him, since he wanted to bring me to this club.

I went to his home and he wanted to massage me. I thought, why not. Then, he asked me to remove my pants. I was not prepared to do that, and luckily some other young boy arrived to come with us. I didn't really like being out in the club. People kissed each other everywhere to greet and I found this odd. I went home early and made a mistake. The first time ever I kissed a guy was a goodbye kiss from that old guy on my mouth…ah well.

Me growing up - part 2: boys or girls?

2009-10-31T10:48:00.000-07:00

I don't remember what started to get me sexually interested. In primary school though, I had many girlfriends. We made out in secret places, met after school and once I even dumped one for another girl, who in hindsight looks conspicuously boyish.

My primary school

I never thought of boys, because in an environment where boys date girls, why would a boy date a boy. I never questioned my actions.

I also played football from early age and in Europe, as usual, there are communal showers. In hindsight, this is where I got interested in boys. Oddly, I never found it strange that when I touched myself at home after the football trainings, I thought of my teammates. How could I not find this strange?

I did try to think of a female classmate once, just to try out thinking about girls, because I did wonder a bit, but it wasn't satisfying. I also had a picture of a Swedish tennis player next to my bed, Mikael Tillstrom. I must have found him cute…

My tennis crush - cant find another picture:(

I don't know if my parents had any idea of what was slowly happening with me at that time. Maybe I should ask them. I used to sleep over at my cousin’s during the holidays we would do stuff. And sometimes my football teammates would stay over and we would do stuff too.

Our clothing style during childhood and teenage years if often a bit of a giveaway, and I want to talk to my parents about this. I wonder what clothes I chose and what clothes they gave me, but I do remember that I had a bit of an eccentric taste.

During my teenage years, I wasn't a bad boy. I never smoked, I never got in trouble, I didn't have bad friends. In fact, I didn't have many friends at all. Up to now, I have no contact whatsoever with anyone from my home village.

The good friendships and the real changes started in my high school years. In the meantime, I changed from football to volleyball and hence fantasised about my volleyball friends…J

My high school

In my early high school years, I made a new best friend. We are still best friends now, even though we meet only every year or so, when I am back home. We always discussed girl issues, but suddenly, I did not have my stories to tell him anymore, but only listened to his.

My last girlfriend was during that time, I must have been about 16. I liked her and I still remember her hair smelled really nice. She broke up with me 1 day before my birthday, and for some time, my parents blamed this experience on the fact that I was more interested in boys. (I just found her on facebook and added her…lets see if she is married already…)

After that, I also had my last girl crush. This girl strangely had the same last name as my last girlfriend, but I was too shy to ever really talk to her. I used to go on bike rides to her village and just riding past her house made me feel good. Strangely, she did notice my approaches, but mistook them for my best friend’s. They nearly got together as a couple even!!!

Then, it was finished with girls and this started when a classmate talked to me about his gay friend. This was the first time I ever contemplated gay and from day 1, I somehow knew I belonged to this group.

We didn't have internet at that time, but when that came, the changes were huge. I was 18 at the time, and for the first time, I had a crush on a guy, a classmate. He still looks handsome today I think, but it’s amazing how quickly Western people age…

The first time I told anything of this to anyone was after a school party. At that time I just got my driver’s licence, and that changed my life. It was virtually impossible to go anywhere before, but now that I could drive, I could go anywhere. Of course, I couldn't drink, but I wasn't into drinking anyway.

I remember this night very well. It was just before the summer break. I drove another friend of mine home after the party, and I felt immense feelings that night. I cannot remember why but something got into me.

I told him, that I needed to tell him something and that I liked someone in our class. He started off with a few girl-names, and I saw no. Then, he said suddenly the guy’s name, and I said yes.

It was actually quite funny, because he later told me that he was so stoned, he didn't remember whether I really told him this story or whether he dreamt it.

Me growing up – part 1: the childhood and my family

2009-10-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

In our social environment, there’s three things that matter the most: family, friends and (potentially) a boyfriend. Of all these three, we have the most lasting and also deepest ties of all with our family.

This is of course because we have (ideally) grown up together and our parents, grandparents, sisters and brothers and perhaps even uncles and aunties have been with us for as long as we live.

Our ancestors also gave us their genes and because of that, we are bound to look similar, act similar, have similar talents etc…

Now, I am very well aware that families and our relationship to families or even just parents differ immensely. Some parents separate and we, as sons, form close bonds with mum, or dad, or both, or even none at all.

I know people that are brought up by their uncle and aunties, some that have even been kicked out of their home because they are gay, others don't even know their real parents and are adopted.

Because of this variety, I want you to know that this story is personal. You will probably recognise a lot of yourself and your relationship with your parents, but you might also not.

I am blessed with a great pair of parents. I think they couldn't have done a better job raising me and I am so thankful of the way they have treated me over the last 26 years.

When I was born, my mum was 22 and dad was 27. That’s really young I think. I was an accident and not meant to be born, I don't know if the condom ripped or who knows what, but I wasn't meant to be born. I am still here though:)

I look at old pictures, and mum was a girl, a pretty one too! Dad had a moustache and long wavy hair (I am growing mine too at the moment, and it is exactly the same).

My village

We lived in a big house, on the second floor. On the ground floor, dad’s sister, her husband and their four children, and a big furry dog complemented the house.

I cant remember much of the time we had there, because we moved when I turned 6. I remember though, that I used to like dressing up a bit. I think that’s quite a typical early sign of the gayness. But, I loved cars. Maybe because they feared that I was a bit prissy and girly, the parents got me many little cars. And I knew them all, played with them while mum was in her knitting shop serving customers.

We used to go on holidays to Tuscany every summer, drive down with our red Toyota Celica with our tent. Swiss people, when they go on holidays, have a craving to see the sea, because there is none at home. And so we drove to the beach.

grandad and mum

In winters, we used to go to Austria, with grandad (who is Austrian) and his sister. I was everyone’s darling and wore outrageous skiing clothes, which were in fashion in the late ‘80s I suppose.

Then, when I turned 7 and went to kindergarten, we moved to our own home. Just around the block from the old two-family house, we were now to have our own home.

I don't know if mum and dad planned to have a bigger family, or if they just wanted to have their own place. In the same year, my brother was born. He was the only one who wasn't an accident because three years later, I got another brother (who wasn't planned again).

Between my two brothers and me yawns a gap of 7 respectively 10 years. This is actually quite a lot, considering I left home when I was 19 (and my youngest brother was 9). It’s difficult to build up a relationship with your brothers like when the age difference is so big and you live thousands of kilometres away from each other. But with time, that will come for sure.

My middle brother is the odd one out. He is blonde, has blue eyes and is the quiet studious type. He’s very shy, and, sadly, we don't talk so much. I am trying to change this, but again, it’s hard when you live so far apart.

My younger brother and me are closer. When I am at home, he will ask me to do lots of things with him. We go and play football, we play videogames and we even cook together sometimes. He is very chatty and liked by everyone.

Interestingly, both have had girlfriends for nearly two years, and both girlfriends are quite butch country-girls. I am a bit different in that way I suppose...:)

by, the way, I will try to find pictures I can upload when I go home this december...it should be fun to see me as a youngster:)

Bangkok Traffic Love Story - รถไฟฟ้ามาหานะเธอ

2009-10-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

Another movie review....gosh am I becoming "rotten tomatoes" or what?

This time though, it's not a movie that you'll find there. It's a Thai movie and it's a huge hit right now. The English and the Thai title of the movie differ a bit. In English it's simply called "Bangkok Traffic Love Story". In Thai, the literal translation is "The Train is coming to see/get you" (Rot Fai Fa Ma Ha Na Ter). This is a punt on "Maha Nakorn" (Big City/Bangkok in Thai)...

Anyway. I have not been so big on Thai movies so far. They are either set in the country side and feature some sort of village ghost, or then they are scary movies in general (which I dont like, also with ghosts) or they are sappy rom-coms.

This movie IS a rom-com, but it's very cute, that needs to be said right now. I loved this movie. If you love Bangkok and have a soft spot for Thai people, go watch this movie right now!!!

Here is the trailer. It's only in Thai, but you get the idea...by the way, I framed it in pink because I think it suits the movie;)

This movie is quintessentially Thai. It's cheesy and the love-story has its ups and downs for the good part of the movie. BUT, it's actually not as cheesy as in the trailer, it's a really cute story.

Besides, there are three people in this movie I would happily make some space for in my king-size bed - and even in a single bed:) Two of them you get to see in the trailer.

The acting is really good. Especially the girl...I normally really cant empathise with people in love stories, but the girls is so cute and sweet - you gotta love her. The guy is charming and very handsome too...the way they were together was so sweet, it brought back my memories from nearly two years ago, when I really yearned for a Thai love experience.

Finally, this is a real Bangkok-movie. It is exactly what I expect from a movie that's shot in Bangkok. It's made by Bangkokians, with Bangkokians, for Bangkokians. Unlike the "Mammoth", which I reviewed in my last post. That was a movie partly about Bangkok made for farangs.

There is the Skytrain with several stations I all know very well, especially the exchange at Siam. There are the taxis. There is the boat on the Chao Phraya and also some fabulous views of Wat Arun. There's the commuter minivan. There's even the songtheaw.

If I can give you one last recommendation: go watch it with someone you can cuddle during the movie - and take some tissue with you!

Mammoth - a movie to forget with a soundtrack to fall in love with

2009-10-26T00:32:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched Mammoth. It's a movie about a young and successful couple with Gael Garcia-Bernal in the main role as a New York parent with a 7-year old girl.

Because both parents are so successful and engaged in their respective jobs, they have a Filipino nanny. That's where the cliches start already.

The husband then goes to Bangkok for a business trip, but finds time to relax on a beach. Another cliche. There, he mets an elephant, pot-smoking backpackers and a prostitute, with whom he falls in love with. More cliches!!!

In the meantime, the Filipino nanny misses her two boys back home, the older of which adorably tries to make money by himself helping his mum to come home earlier. I think this was the most moving part of the film where I had to grab a little tissue for myself too...

While the husband is away playing with the Thai prozzie, (whose mock Thai-English accent was NOT good...I could have done better sounding like a Thai prostitute) the wife tries hard to mend things at home, bond more with the daughter and with the nanny (to whom the daughter has a very close relationship).

That's more or less it. At the end, the guilt-ridden dad comes home from tempting Thailand and unites with his young family. The nanny is back in the Philippines in the meantime because her son was badly injured while trying to make money for his mum (guess who injured him....a pedophile American with a Hawaii t-shirt....more cliches)

The point of this movie was, I guess, to criticise our relentless focus on money and consumerism, from which poorer people have to suffer. A noble goal for a movie of course, but Lukas Moodysson (director of Togther, Lilya 4-ever and Fucking Amal) tries so hard to make us realise the inequalities of life, that I became utterly bored with it.

Every single scene is contrived. We know what is going to happen and at the end of the scene, there's some morality waiting. Plus, the movie was patronising, reducing Thailand to a tourist spot with prostitute ladyboys and the Philippines to one big slum with overseas nannies. At least we can see some Bangkok, which should please some homesick people (like me soon).

I ironed 12 shirts and two pants while watching this movie, I was so bored. Sometimes I didnt even look at the screen (well otherwise I would have burnt my fingers...)

There's one thing that really carried this movie though - the music! Here are two samples, one by Ladytron and one by Cat Power. Both songs added either speed or melancholy to the respective scenes - impressive!

ENJOY!

Taxi Bangkok and Absolutely Bangkok

2009-10-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

Lately I have developed a bit of a broader interest in blogging. Gay blogs tend to be a bit focused on, well, gay things...

Sometimes I think the personal drama, the newest fuckbuddy-conquests, or gay life in (insert name of the city) can be a bit one-sided, no? Although an exclusively gay-issue blog can be a fascinating, a gripping and fun experience, gay is ultimately just our sexuality....the rest of our identity, behaviour and interests are acquired, and hence could be basically anything.

So, and this is where the circle closes again, we all have pretty broad interests. This also means that we can approach topics from different points of view. The main interest and topic of this blog is of course....BANGKOK...my home and love affair:)

Lately, I have come across two blogs, both heavily focused on Bangkok, which, despite blogging for 1.5 years and reading other blogs daily, I have not yet come across.

Absolutely Bangkok

One is rather general, and discusses Thai news. If you want to get news about Thailand, which is not written for political scientists, but rather for generally interested people, go to Absolutely Bangkok.

The real gem of this blog however are discussions about Thai society. I have not found such smart and unpretentious views from "normal" people living in Thailand yet. So, go and see.

Still life in.....ah this title is just too long....lets call it the "BKK taxi blog"

The other blog is something entirely different, and an enormously interesting concept. The blog is called Sill Life in Moving Vehicles. That's a long name, but essentially, the blogger takes pictures ONLY from within BKK taxis, and constructs a little article or story, or a little piece of information around what he sees.

Mostly, the blogger discusses some spiritual issues (since we know how many spiritual things there are in BKK taxis), sometimes it is food, and sometimes it is just a little personal message.

Cute, I think. And very groundbreaking. I was surprised at how much can be written about Bangkok from a taxi point of view....

So my next project would be "the BTS BLOG - BANGKOK viewed from the SKYtrain". Yeah....I wish....

Quality of Life ?!?

2009-10-23T08:26:00.000-07:00

This are supposedly the best cities in the world to live in.

According to Mercer, which publish an annual report called "Mercer Human Resource Consulting Quality of Living Survey", where cities are ranked according to their livability, ZURICH wins. (this is the 2007 survey...I was too lazy to copy newer ones, but the result is essentially the same).

Here are the rankings:

The mix we are presented with here is quite curious. Germanic and Scandinavian cities in Europe and any city in Oceania and Canada are apparently an awesome place to spend a few years of our lives.

Well, this really makes me wonder. I have been to all of these cities (except Frankfurt, Duesseldorf, Luxembourg and Copenhagen).... and I could legally move to any of these places (except Canada) tomorrow and stay there basically forever.

So why dont I do it?

Honestly, I find these rankings a bit silly. But lets read first what their criteria are.

Political and social environment (political stability, crime, law enforcement, etc)
Economic environment (currency exchange regulations, banking services, etc)
Socio-cultural environment (censorship, limitations on personal freedom, etc)
Health and sanitation (medical supplies and services, infectious diseases, sewage, waste disposal, air pollution, etc)
Schools and education (standard and availability of international schools, etc)
Public services and transportation (electricity, water, public transport, traffic congestion, etc)
Recreation (restaurants, theatres, cinemas, sports and leisure, etc)
Consumer goods (availability of food/daily consumption items, cars, etc)
Housing (housing, household appliances, furniture, maintenance services, etc)
Natural environment (climate, record of natural disasters)

So that's actually quite a wide variety of factors that go into assessing a city's livability.

Lets assess Bangkok then, and see why it is not mentioned in the top 100 cities of the world...

Political and social environment: Ok, and we hit a bump already....we know that Thailand is not the most stable and safe country in the world, but I personally also think that the security threats are far overrated. There are a lot of killings and other dodgy things going on in Bangkok, right, but if you are not involved in murky dealings and treat people with some respect, you should be fine. I am not sure however about the political environment....the next few months/years should make us wiser.

Economic environment. Well, regarding economic growth, we are not going so well, but so is the rest of the world. Banking services and money exchange though is not a problem. Just dont forget that silly "bank book" (here, every account has a book, in which you need to print your transactions. I never do it though....but if you lose it, you must go to the police etc...)

Melbourne...always a darling of these rankings.

Socio-cultural environment. I am a blogger and pretty free in what I can say. But only pretty free. We all know the laws so I better shut up...

regarding personal freedom though, I would say Bangkok rates very highly. (especially for gays of course...I wouldnt want to live in Riyadh or Brazzaville trying to date gay men...) A little minus though for the gossip-factor. Goodness I would never invite a date to my home for the sole reason of having to pass our bitchy, nosey guard...

Health and sanitation. As long as you are not walking on the footpath 4 hours a day you should be fine....and if you drink Minere water and not tap water, you should be fine too....if you are not fine, go to Samitivej or any of the other "world class hospitals", where you shall be joined by rich Arabs.

Schools and education. Tick. Have.

Public services and transportation. I would rate BKK very highly here. Traffic and public transport is something that a lot of people complain here, BUTTTT I challenge you to find a motocy or a tuk tuk who will take you DIRECTLY home from shopping at the mall for the equivalent of CHF 1, EUR 0.60, CAD 1, AUD 1, NZD 1.20.

Please. I have lived in Switzerland and New Zealand before and especially in New Zealand you just have a problem if you dont have a car. When I was in NZ in July, I lived quite far away from a bus stop and often had heaps to carry (goodness I ate like a pig there). The bus came once every hour after 7pm and not anymore after 10pm.

Gosh....sometimes I just walked....like about an hour...at least it was not 35 C, but more like 5C...walking warms you up at least...

Summing up: Bangkok transport is really good. At any moment, you have at least 3 or so means of transport available right next to you. The only challenge is when to take which one:)

Recreation. Tick. Do I even need to explain this? Bangkok has the BEST FOOD IN THE WORLD and is a fun place, we all know that.

Zurich. Pretty...but can you see a person on this picture?

Consumer goods. Tick. Thai supermarkets are surprisingly good and have very cheap local produce. If you fancy Swiss chocolate, an Italian salami, German beer, Australian wine or New Zealand mussels, go to Paragon or Villa Market or Central World. Want Japanese food galore? Go to Emporium supermarket. It has its price, but every so often, an imported produce is actually cheaper in BKK than where it was imported from!

Cheese however is super-expensive....:(

Housing. Goodness, the availability of housing is stunning. You can have everything from a 1000 baht loom to a 90.000 baht condo (per month). And more of course...I dont know so much how Thais live to be honest, but there are not so many slums anymore as there used to be. I hear it's much better than in the Philippines for example.

If you are an expat though, your Euro or Dollar will get you faaaaaaaaaaaaar. I dont think I will ever live in such a nice place anymore until I retire:)

And...there are plenty of vacancies too....in fact too many. Try finding a flat in Geneva....I hear it's hell!!!

Natural environment. Well, we have Lumpini Park...but I dont like it honestly. It's just not so nice...I must say though, where I live I can only hear frogs and birds, hardly any traffic (the odd motocy and tuk tuk)....all thanks to my hi-so neighbour.

The lack of greenery....we have to admit that, is one of the big minuses for Bangkok. In fact, the lack of ANY available space...everything is being built up, and plans to destroy my favourite place in the city, Suan Lum Night Bazaar and put up another mall are supposedly still waiting to be rolled out.

I say....follow the example of SEOUL. I am going there in two weeks and will try to write a lot about their efforts of improving the city, creating public spaces and greenery.

You want greenery? Here you go. This not just a village, it's actually the federal capital of Switzerland....must be the smallest capital of any "normal country".

So...where do we stand now? Obviously, according to the ranking, Bangkok can not compare itself with the teacher's pets from Switzerland...but I still dont understand 100% why Zurich must come on top, and Auckland is not far behind...

Auckland

Public transport in Auckland is very bad, the city is basically dead (bar a few streets of excitement), importing food is very expensive and in many areas of the city, gang shootings and violence are a daily occurrence...and the weather....mehh...

Vienna

As I said, I can see somehow why the cities that won, did actually win. But I really think the assessment is problematic. For some people, recreation is number one (probably for most of us in Bangkok), for others, they want their tram to arrive at 7.23am every day otherwise they'll complain (that's the Swiss people...). Even others need to have a beach within 15 minutes reach (the Aussies and Kiwis) or reach nearly every city in Germany within a few hours (that's Frankfurt)...

I love Bangkok, but my reason of moving to ahm.....hopefully Sydney is not because of the sanitation, the better air or the closer beaches. A city can not be encapsulated in such measurements. Cities have souls and they can not be measured....

Bangkok...you are my soulmate number 1:)

Vegetarian Week

2009-10-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

The facebook fan page of this blog is going alright. The blog now has 20 fans and I think this might still grow a lot. I am very happy about the development. It's easier to keep in contact on facebook, and it's less one-way.

I do not want this to be a fan page for me as a person but I'd rather want to create something more interactive, where people can set topics, write things, upload pictures, post links and discuss issues.

This week is vegetarian week here in BKK. Actually, it's a Chinese tradition. I cant tell you much about the spiritual meaning and the historical origins of this week, but I can tell you about how it happens in reality in the streets of Bangkok.

Since this festival has Chinese origins (or so I am told), you can find vegetarian food mostly in the chinese areas of the city. Or lets put it another way....in the richer parts of the city. In my area, in Ari, there's quite a Chinese Thai community, and near my university, Chula, there's a very big community.

Usually, you see shophouses with Chinese-style Thai script, and also many Chinese signs. Anyway, the vege festival is a bit something for the rich I think, with ordinary Thais not caring very much. If they would care, they would hardly find the food in their neighbourhood anyway...

The festival, I think, is meant to cleanse you. One week, no meat, no dairy products (and no egg, yippie....I hate eggs!!!) and strangely also no garlic and other strong spices. How odd....it's more like a VEGAN festival, with added restrictions.

I am actually following the festival! Except this morning I had croissants with butter and nutella, I guess that counts as dairy...:(

But what are the usual foods they serve in the carts and shops with the little yellow-red flags? It's a lot of vegetables, unsurprisingly, some tofu stews, a lot of fried spring rolls, dumplings, mushrooms etc. It's kinda like chinese food....duh!!!

None of the usual strong Thai spices...

So, my office mates are partly following the festival. One lady, she is quite big (very very big for a thai person) and loves food very, very much, has trouble following the rules. She complained that last night, she was so hungry and her family served lots of normal Thai food, so she had to eat.

So this week is meant to cleanse us....for me, it has no spiritual meaning. I want to see how my body reacts to eating no meat. I remember last year, when I was in Korea for a week, I came back with the best skin I have ever seen....it was so flawless I thought I had put on permanent make-up....so lets see what the vege week will do to me.

The way Thais handle this week is interesting. Some will follow it and give it quite a substantial meaning, but when they feel hungry and some yummy basil chicken is around, they dont mind tucking in...

Thais have this wonderful mix of spirituality and pragmatism, I do really admire them for that. But sometimes I find the pragmatism a bit much, especially when it is too much impulse-driven. If you promise yourself something, you shouldnt just let it go after seeing the first yummy spicy Thai dish...:)

These pictures are taken in the Suan Luang area by the way, just behind Chulalongkorn University, towards Hua Lamphong train station. I think it's Chula soi 16...? I'll go there again sometime this week, but the good camera is with the BF in Seoul, therefore my pics are a bit sucky...

bitchofbangkok on facebook

2009-10-17T05:24:00.000-07:00

Me and the other Bangkok-based bloggers have been told to "up their game" by a user on Silom Farang's blog the other day. Well, I am trying to do this;)

I have created a bitchofbangkok page on facebook and added a fan-box on this blog to the right ---------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I have done this mainly because I think facebook is a better tool to interact and share information with each other and to have debates, discussions, or just simply post interesting things for the public.

The page doesnt have so many features and content yet, but I will steadily update them.

With this page, I'd like the "fans" and me to share links that they and I find interesting, write anything on the wall they wish to say, discuss things on the discussion board or post pictures you find appealing.

The content should be mainly gay-oriented but doesnt necessarily need to be. It would be nice to have a lot of Bangkok- and Thailand-themed comments, discussions, links and pictures, but anything is fine with me.

I would like to encourage you to take part in this "venture". I think it could be interesting. Share your latest pictures of Bangkok or another place in Thailand, link to your favourite blogs, discuss tips for visiting Bangkok, etc.

Now you only have to click the link on the right, and click "become a fan" and get going with discussions and contributions - it's "up to you":)

Silom Farang is gone, BKKDREAMER on holidays...blogging quo vadis?

2009-10-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

Bye bye silom....

The Bangkok gay bloggin community is diminished at the moment.

While Bkkdreamer is enjoying farangland with his family, and probably missing Bangkok, Silom Farang has decided to pull the plug.

I must say I have always been impressed with Silom Farang's ability to create and maintain such a high readership. Readership is king among bloggers. When Bkkdreamer, me and Kawadjan used to meet, the "so how's your readership going?" question would prop up every time.

I mean, what would we be without readers? I often try to put out thoughts about Thai society in general and gay issues via my blog. If no one reads them, I might as well speak to myself in my bed, no?

But, more readership also means more pressure to publish. Bloggers hate to see red arrows in their viewer statistics and bloggers hate to get demanding emails by readers. It's addictive when you know that xxx people read your words every day, you have some sort of influence, even if it's very small.

I have always seen my role as part entertainer, but also part social observer and maybe even critique. A blog can be many things, but for me personally, I would not blog if I couldnt voice my (sometimes controversial) opinions.

Silom Farang knew his readership very well, knew what they wanted and what they liked and knew how to keep them entertained. And that might have made him feel indebted to them.

Something that blog readers can not understand is that bloggers can get very obsessed with blogging, and tend to think about the blog more often than is healthy. Silom wrote that he thought about the blog in the shower etc. Blogging really grabs you, but it doesnt give back very much, at least financially.

That is exactly why reader comments and emails are so important. I actually made some good friends via this blog, and got inspiring, but also some negative comments.

I really respect Silom's effort for blogging, and really appreciate the exposure he gave me and keeps giving me. Thanks so much, Silom!

I have also read the praise that his readers heap on him and the sorrow they feel at the loss of the blog. There was one comment I want to react to, since it was, at least indirectly, directed at me.

Silicon Farang Says:
October 15th, 2009 at 8:12 am

It was a great ride. Your blogging was definitely on a level not matched by the later bangkok bloggers who remain. Hopefully the remaining bangkok bloggers will raise their game now that they will no longer be in your shadow.

Best wishes with your mainstream writing efforts!

Excuse me? A level not matched by us "other" bloggers? Is there like a blogging scale from 1 to 10? Raise my game now? Do you want me to get a Thai boyfriend and write about my Soi boys? And do you want me to post teenie pictures?

Sorry, Silicon Farang, but you have not understood blogging. Every blog is different. You may be more inclined to read Silom Farang than reading my blog, but that does not mean that the blogs you dont like to read are worse. It just means you can relate to these blogs a bit better.

No one is going to fill Silom's void. He had his own market, his own style of writing, his own humour and his own following. In the meantime, his readers can either enjoy the other blogs around, each of which have their own interesting points and niches, or you go to a forum.

The best solution however is to start a blog on your own. I want to see the people with their quick fingers regularly write every day and see what their thoughts are. Start your blogs TODAY!

In the meantime, good luck Silom! I hope you find the energy to start something new!

Bf nearly in Korea - meets generous Chinese people

2009-10-14T10:18:00.001-07:00

After this brief little eruption of feeling queasy due to watching "Fish Tank", I'll still blog a little bit about the mundane things that happen in my every day life.

The boyfriend is now in Qingdao, North-Eastern China. He will take the ferry to Korea on Saturday. A reader asked why he didnt take the plane from Bangkok.

Well, isnt it great to experience four different means of travel (plane, bus, train and ferry) in one journey? I mean, of course if you want to arrive as quick as possible, hop on that plane and land in Seoul 6 hours later...(yes, that's how long it takes to fly there!!!)

If you have some spare time, why not experience a bit of China? For me personally, China is the most impressive country I have ever been to. I am dying to go back as soon as I can and I envy the bf that he is there now!

Just have a look at the pictures...(I am borrowing them now, I hope he doesnt mind:)

Macau

Germany? No, Qingdao.....it used to be a German colony, apparently...

Qingdao - gorgeous place

Actually, on the train, he met some young Chinese people, who were in the same carriage. They made friends, and when they heard his story with the stolen wallet, they just gave him 500RMB, that's about 80US I think....that is extremely generous, no?

The generous chinese travel companions

I want to add something to the post about my boyfriend leaving bangkok here. It was sweet that so many of you wrote messages of support, as well as their own experiences with long-distance relationships.

However, I think you misunderstood me a bit. A month without boyfriend is of course quite some time, especially if you are used to living together happily, but this is not the main reason why I was so sad.

I lost a little tear, because our time together IN BANGKOK has ended. That means, the time that we shared here, which in my opinion was awesome, came to an end.

Bangkok is a great city to explore, do things, eat, get around, watch movies and live in a nice place. I also have quite a deep sentimental feel for this city, which you probably know already.

This time has now come to an end, and it makes me think that my time in Bangkok will end soon too. I love this place, it is my home and I will be very sad to go. So yeah, a little part of me has gone with the boyfriend, and is now in Qingdao waiting for the ferry to Korea.

Movie: Fish Tank

2009-10-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

I just watched a shocking movie. Actually I was going to write about something else, but this movie has changed my mood a bit.

The movie is called "Fish Tank" and is about a 15 year old girl living with her mum and sister in a shabby housing estate in England. This is a superb movie. Where other movies would have tried to make the unattractive surrounding gloomy and unwelcoming, this movie tinged nearly the whole set in a warm and cosy evening light.

Fish Tank shows the every day life of the girl, how her mum constantly swears at her, how her mum gets an annoyingly nice boyfriend, how the annoyingly nice boyfriend ends up fucking the girl and then rushes off to his family, how the girl kidnaps the guy's little daughter and how she wants to audition for a dance job, which turns out to be more like a brothel.

Look at the trailer and you might get the feel.

This movie was so shocking. I couldnt get over the tension between the girl's mum, the girl and the girl's sister. They NEVER spoke to each other without using either "whore, cunt, bitch, asshole or hate" in a sentence.

I was even more shocked to see her sister (roughly 10 years old) smoking and drinking beer with her little friend.

And finally I was even more shocked to see the girl's mum's boyfriend getting closer and closer to her, finally fucking her and then just simply walking off. I could literally feel her pain when he walked away, saying that he'd "talk" to her tomorrow. He then went back to his cute little semi-detached home with a yard, wife and little child.

How fucked up is that?

This might sound silly, but I am really thankful for having such a "normal" life and a caring family which gave me the opportunity to see the world.

Has anyone else seen the movie?

Becoming a good cook - bf without wallet

2009-10-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend has arrived well in Macau. Apparently, it was quite hard to find budget accomodation, but he did finally find a place to rest. The places all seem to have Portuguese names...well it's quite logical, since it used to be a Portuguese colony.

I wonder how the bf pronounces Portuguese. He is now pretty good at German after taking the 4 week intensive course at Goethe Institute. There, he made two ladyboy- and a closet gay friend. It sounded like they had a great time. Lets see how much he will pick up in Switzerland around Christmas.

Anyhow, on the first proper day in Macau, his wallet got stolen:( About 300US$ or so gone....Sometimes he attracts bad luck. I told him to separate his money, which he at least did, so the Chinese money is still in his possession.

Instead of enjoying a few days in Hong Kong and Shanghai, he is now on his way from Guangzhou to the port city of Qingdao. The train takes 28 hours and he is apparently in Hard Sleeper Class. I told him that if I were there, it would be a bit more squishy:)

In the meantime, I am learning how to cook Thai food - very successfully. How? Well, after 1.5 years in Thailand, I know how the dishes SHOULD taste, so imitating is not that hard. Importantly, I always look at the food I eat and therefore know the ingredients a bit.

Basic Thai food is relatively simple. You always need to find a balance between sweet (sugar), salty (fish sauce), sour (lime juice) and spicy (chili). If the food doesnt quite taste right, you need to adjust either of these. Of course, not all food consists of these ingredients, but this are the basic four elements of Thai food.

I cooked ยำทะเล (Yum Talee, sour seafood salad) yesterday, and ตมยำกุ้ง (Tom Yum Gung) with ผักบุ้งไฟแด (Fried Morning Glory) today. It all tasted yummy. By the way, I am writing these in Thai because sometimes I really dont know how to translate the dishes into English.

One thing I cant stand about Thai restaurants either geared towards the tourist market, or situated abroad is that they will sometimes not have the name of the dishes in Thai. How the heck I am meant to know what something like "fried chicken with chili" (that's just a fictional example) is???

I couldnt take pictures of the dishes I made, since my camera is in China with my bf...but it's nothing spectacular anyway, at least not compared to the fancy creations of Bkkdreamer's boyfriend :)

Otherwise, I am busy writing my thesis. Not much time left, and as always, as I am nearing the finishing line, my speed picks up. I am writing between 500 and 1000 words a day, which is ok. Ironically, my thesis is about European students in Thailand, why they study in Thailand and what benefits this can bring for Thailand.

I could interview myself and write the thesis about myself:)

A tear for Bangkok...the bf is gone

2009-10-10T03:42:00.000-07:00

Taking the bf to badminton was a good idea and it worked well. I always felt slightly bad about going off for the evening two nights a week with loads of faggots. The bf knew that there are some cute people among them too and that some of them liked me.

I decided it was time that the Thais knew that me having a boyfriend is not just some made-up story...It was also time that the bf saw the boys, and realised that none of them can match him:)

The bf enjoyed seeing me play (he didnt play himself) and the Thai boys found it cute that he came along. They were gossiping and were saying how they would like to eat Kimchi (eat in Thai can mean have sex)...

Last week was very stressful for the bf and me. He stayed at my place, and we both had the plan to enjoy our last week together in Bangkok, going to see places, eat yummy Thai food and relax at home, while watching some movies and going to the swimming pool.

The reality was different. He was extremely stressed due to his school, which still hadnt quite finished, and I was trying to write on my thesis as much as I could. We also had another gathering at my place, which involved blogger kawadjan and two of my former schoolmates.

Last night, we also went to a popular Isan-eatery on Rama 9 road, near RCA, with the bf's classmates, had some beer and extremely delicious Thai food. Later, we went to Soi Rangnam, near Victory Monument for more drinks and some pool.

This place on Soi Rangnam was totally gay. Gay owned, and gay frequented. There was a pack of about 12 very girly teenage boys playing pool next to us. The bf got jealous and was anxious I would be looking at them, but he was totally wrong. Screaming faggots are NOT my taste at all...even if they had cute faces. This again proved my point that the WHOLE of Bangkok is gay, not just Silom...

So, the week was not what we expected. We were both very stressed. In these situations, I tend to become a bit brash and unfriendly, sometimes even a bit rude. The bf on the other hand gets a bit more sensitive, so we also argued a lot. We usually really dont do that.

Last night, we couldnt even go to sleep together, because he was still packing at 2am. I fell asleep alone, but the bf told me that when he came to bed, I begged him to spoon me. He whispered in my ear that he will do that and protect me tonight. I dont remember any of this though...but it's cute.

We also both hardly felt horny, due to the stress and lack of sleep. I also tend to get very melancholic when something sad is about to happen, so I dont feel very horny either. Luckily, these feelings were all forgotten today, and after months, I finally got to be bottom again:)

Now, the bf is on the plane to Macau. He will stay there for a few days, take the ferry to Hong Kong, the train to Shanghai and Qingdao and finally the ferry to Incheon and Seoul. It should be an amazing road-trip for him, and I hope to post some pictures too.

So, I am alone in Bangkok now and Bangkok will not be the same anymore now. Of course, everything still looks the same, but sharing all these Bangkok experiences with him was special.

When you are alone, you still have your friends, who will, I suspect, see a bit more of me now. It will be great to catch up with some friends I havent seen for months, and with some I have never seen at all.

But it can not replace having spending time with your boyfriend. So today, a part of me left Bangkok too, and there were tears last night. I will see the bf again in a month, but I will not see Bangkok again in the same light anymore, never ever.

I love my life here in Bangkok and I love this city. But an important part of loving Bangkok was spending time here with my bf. We had a great life here together and I am very sad that this has come to an end.

The bf never managed to develop great affection for the city. He didnt like his school, and most of all, he never managed to deal with the heat. Every time the poor boy was outside for 5 minutes, his face would look like a waterfall...that's what growing up in Christchurch NZ does for you I suppose...

One thing I know though. As we were sitting in the taxi to the airport, the bf suddenly became sad. I told him that I will ask him what he thinks of Thailand again in a months time, and he said: " I will probably say that I hate Koreans, and miss the Thai people, the food, the weather and Bangkok."

I agree with this!!!

BF comes to badminton with me / a disastrous Indian food party

2009-10-06T03:53:00.001-07:00

It's all very stressful here. The boyfriend lives with me now, but instead of having a few nice evenings together before he leaves, we spend hardly any time together.

On Saturday, we had a disastrous food party at my condo. The bf told me the evening before that about 12 people would come (I thought, it might be about 4 or 5). I didnt like that, but ok...

There were 14 people in the condo, not just two...

We were meant to meet two guys at 4pm, so that the food they will cook (Indian food, one of the guys being Indian) will be ready by 7pm. At 7pm we started cooking and the first people started trickling in.

I warned the condo management that a few people are coming to see me tonight. The manager said "no problem" but the guard in charge gave me snide remarks the whole night. I really hate him. I gave him some Red Bull once and he will not get any more now...

The Indian guy, with the help of some other people, finished cooking by midnight!!!! 5 hours for two curries and some Naan bread. I must say, the food was nice, but by that time, I was too tired (from cleaning the condo the whole day for the guests).

I went into my room to relax and left the bf to deal with the mess. That was not very nice of me, but I couldnt take the noise and the fact that some 12 people took over my kitchen and condo anymore....ayyyy

Now we have about 1.5 kgs of pre-made chicken in our fridge (I ate some yesterday and now I cant stand chicken anymore...)....what to do?

Today, I will take the bf to badminton. It should be interesting. How will the other faggots react? I suppose we'll see who likes me (the ones who will throw a fit and ignore me for the night) and those who dont mind (the ones who will gossip and come to say hi to the cute Korean)...

By the way, I have changed the comment function on my blog.

Now you will get a pop-out window where you can tell me your opinion about my posts, or write me your confessions of love. I would prefer if you fill in a name, so I know who writes me. You can also write "Bill Clinton", or "Thaksin Shinawatra" if you want.

Being called a "faggot" in Nana - tales of a fun night out!

2009-10-02T20:53:00.000-07:00

Things are changing again in my life. I now live with my boyfriend. He moved on two nights ago, much to the astonishment of the guards. I explained them the situation, and they said it's not a problem.

Actually, I started "bribing" the guards last week. When I went to 7eleven, I bought some Red Bull and other energy drinks and little boxes of juice. They really loved that. I asked them which brand they like best, and they answered they prefer coffee, so coffee it should be the next time.

It's helpful to have good relations with people that are near your sphere of life in Thailand. This is called corruption in Western countries, here in Thailand it's a way of life. You help me, I help you, it's nothing bad. The guards protect my home, so I am nice to them too...chai mai?

Yesterday night, I went out with the boyfriend and his gang from school. They are: two Thais who have lived abroad for a long time (one can not even write or read Thai), one Malaysian with Filipino-Japanese girlfriend, a Sudanese with English girlfriend and a Chilean-Belgian guy.

With me (Swiss-Australian) and the bf (Korean-Kiwi), we racked up quite a few nationalities...this is what happens if you study in an international school, like the bf does. I on the other hand only met Thais in my class.

The Malaysian guy is leaving on Sunday, so we went out for a goodbye dinner - to Nana. Gays like me are usually very weary of such straight places, I on the other hand find it hilarious because the scene is usually quite comical.

The German beer place, I can recommend ERDINGER

We sat down at this "German" beer place, where you buy a pint of beer for at least 100 baht and then you get BBQ for free. It's a great deal.

I am normally very skeptical of such deals because I like good-quality food, but since the BBQ was only going for about 20 minutes (until they finished their meat), the food was good. I have also not had such a good coleslaw (the Aussie side) and a Kartoffelsalat (potato salad, my Swiss side) for quite some time.

The place was full with the straight expat crowd, all looking exactly the same. Jeans, a t-shirt/polo, more or less hiding a well-rounded tummy, a shaved head in various colours between bronzed and red.

There werent many prozzies on the prowl, these men were all there for the cheap feed. Some already had their girlfriends. And a good few of these actually flirted with me.

As I was standing in the line, the Filipino-Japanese girl arrived. Interestingly, she is a major fag-hag. So she didnt arrive alone, but brought about 4 Pinoy fags with her. One of them I knew from my early days here.

He's the typical "friend of a friend". A very nice guy, but we never managed to get to know each other, because a jealous queeny Thai guy was always between us. And I dont mean this in a sexual way.

Anyhow, the Pinay shrieked when she saw me in the line and said: NICE SHIRT, BB!!! I said: THANK YOUUUUUU. The guy next to me, an expat example I described above said: YES, NICE SHIRT, BUT YOU LOOK LIKE A FAGGOT!!!!!

That was an invitation for me to react and hit back, something I love to do. I told him: YES, I AM ONE (FAGGOT), IS THAT A PROBLEM FOR YOU?

oh my gawwwwwd this man blushed and his ego just shrank to a total minimum....he smiled awkwardly and walked off quietly, not to be seen again. HA, faggots rule!!!!

The place where I was rightly called a faggot

Later, the night turned from fun to awesomely fun. Turns out the Pinay girl and the bf share the same style in music and she and her love to bitch together. I dont know why I always make great friends with Filipinos, it must be their openness and "out-there" way of conversing, but I am thrilled to know her. (She has a blog too by the way, find it here: Bellestar)

Her boyfriend was telling us how when he slept at his classmate's place, his classmate was touching his cock in the morning and said: hey, it's so big...

....to which the girlfriend responded: AND HE CALLS THAT BIG????

Hahahaha, that was so mean! You dont talk about a man's best parts in such a way. Women might not know, but insulting a man's penis is something that should be avoided...

We moved on to the Volkswagen Minibus makeshift bar placed on the sidewalk in front of the Nana shopping mall. The host there is gay and his workers are all tomboys (boyish lesbians). They played a lot of 90's music, and we sang, drank, kissed and took pictures of the mayhem.

My bf always gets so touchy and feely when he's drunk, it's very cute...he'll just lean over and give me french kisses, no matter where we are. I wonder how these pictures turned out actually...

As I am writing, the bf is in the bed with a headache. Today, 12 people (the same people as last night) are going to come to my condo to cook Indian food (one is Indian). My Swiss side tells me: "go and clean the condo before they come!" My Australian/Thai side tells me:"It's gona be fun!"

I am a fat farang expert

2009-09-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

Today was quite an eventful day, so I'd like to share with you.

In the morning, I was invited to give a lecture about the European Union at the Ministry of Commerce. I heard about this on friday, and quickly prepared a nice presentation.

I also had to lie about myself. I was introduced as an expert from New Zealand who is teaching at Chula for a week. That's nice, I enjoyed my "status" as a professor.

The audience was very nice to me too. An older lady, clearly one of the higher-ranked members of our seminar came to me and complemented me. Apparently I made it interesting because everyone listened to me for more than an hour...

Actually, this should tell you something about the status of farang in Thailand. I was not an expert because I am one, but because I am farang. We instantly have the respect of Thai people, especially if we talk about our own region.

I have recently read complaints on some other blogs that farangs are not taken seriously in Thailand. In 99% this is just plain wrong. We enjoy a very high respect. If you do not get the Thai people's respect, you are probably behaving in a way which really annoys the locals.

The Ministry of Commerce main building

The Ministry of Commerce is out in Nonthaburi, right on the river. It's a huge building with two monstrous Thai flags waving in the wind. Even though the building is heavy and not sophisticated, I loved it.

It was just so Thai. There's a sala-like entrance with a pointy roof and our meeting room was equipped with big leather chairs and many TV-screens. Of course, the materials used were cheap, and at some point there was a power failure.

This is quite typical for Thailand, which is still a developing country. But I like that. For some reason I am used to a degree of fallibility and the somewhat strange design of the buildings. I felt very homely and thought that actually, Thailand is JUST RIGHT for me.

After the presentation, I went to the Nonthaburi Department of Revenue, to pay taxes for the income of the professors. In the office, the tax ladies were enthusiastic when they saw me. I felt like a little boy who gets patted and cuddled.

Finished with all things university, I got in a taxi to take me back to Bangkok. I was watching a movie at the Bangkok International Film Festival with the boyfriend. I will write about the movies another time, but each and every one of them has been great!

Also, the BIFF is a great place to watch people and be seen. We gays are probably outnumbering our straight counterparts and the people (both farang and Thai) are of the more "cultured" sort.

Then, I finished the day off with some badminton. My badminton friend doesnt talk to me anymore. Two weeks ago, when he saw me, he said: You look soooo fat. Thank you very much badminton friend, I thought.

Thais always make remarks about people's weight. When you lose or gain 1kgs, they will know. I dont take offense when, in the middle of the conversation, someone says that I am fat. That's just what Thais think.

The way the badminton friend said it though, was just plain rude. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt. The next time, he called me อว้น (something like "fattie") through half the gym was I was playing.

I didnt react, because I didnt feel talked to. I have a name. He said it four times, and then I hit the shuttle towards him. Since then, he doesnt talk to me anymore. I said hi today, but got no response. I dont feel like telling him what I think about his behaviour, it should be clear.

Badminton was fun, but I was tired...There was a new group of three faggots who came to join us. One of them was cute. Quite small, very white skin (I normally dont like, but he looked cute) and messy hair.

When I saw his chest, I thought I saw a fata morgana. He had the chest and the arms of a body builder...I thought for about 2 seconds whether I should find that hot, but decided it was really out of proportion and just plain weird.

A short guy with a cute face and an Arnold Schwarzenegger body? No, thanks, he should stop looking at Singaporean and Hong Kong tourists and learn how to play badminton. Even with his monster-body, he played like a sissy....how odd...

samitivej hospital to the rescue?

2009-09-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

I went for a visit to samitivej hospital yesterday. I am going more and more hi-so. The first hospital I visited in Bangkok was the St.Louis on Sathorn road, because I literally lived next to it. That was just ok.

Then I used to go to Bangkok Hospital, which is quite hi-so, but really far away (near RCA). Now, I tried Samitivej.

I went to a counter to get registered but it was the wrong counter. The lady escorted me to the right counter, where the handsome gay man wanted my details - as well as a picture. Wow, what a service. He showed me to counter 3, where I needed to wait.

The urologist listened to my concerns and told me to get undressed. Oooooooohhhh. It's a bit odd to get undressed in front of a man you know for roughly 5 minutes, but it's their job.

He touched my dick, my tummy and inserted his finger into my ass...he basically fingered me, and the more he did it, the more it actually felt rather good.... he said that my prostate was normal and fine...I was a bit surprised.

The I needed to pee into a cup for the bacterial test. It came back negative and the doctor said I have nothing, so he will not give me any medicine. Interesting...just 10 days ago I had intense pain and got heavy antibiotics...

I am not quite sure what to think...maybe I am a bit of a "Malade Imaginaire" perhaps then I just had an acute infection 10 days ago, which is now cured. I do feel a lot better today though...very odd stuff.

Thank you for all the lovely comments and emails you sent me, it's actually been quite heart-warming to hear about your concern! I am still quite amazed that I get virtually zero hate-mail.

Perhaps these people who feel offended by my posts dont actually follow my blog (anymore), and that's just fine with me.

Thanks again, all you lovely readers, for your concern!

stupid illness

2009-09-22T09:41:00.001-07:00

I have a really stupid illness called prostatis. Actually, I have this in some sorts for 1.5 years already. It's not the same illness as we men get when we get old, but the symptoms are similar.

Since the pain became like unbearable last week, I decided to go see a doctor. Before, I just thought it's all psychological....it wasnt.

The doctor stuck the finger in my butt, and in it went easily. He must have been surprised but I thought: "ha, you dont know how many things have been in there already"! ;)

He gave me antibiotics and anti-inflammatory medicine. Later that day I felt healed, but that only lasted for about 3-4 days. While on the heavy antibiotics, I picked up a throat infection, it couldnt get better...

A painful dick and a painful throat at the same time. I went to see the doctor again yesterday. He didnt check me but just prescribed me more medicine, so I need to go pee less. I refuse to take that medicine because it doesnt fight the disease.

Thai doctors are soooo notorious for just randomly giving out medicine, not checking people properly for symptoms and just assuming an illness because they have seen 100 people with similar problems before probably.

I read online that the treatment for my illness will last at least 4-6 weeks of heavy antibiotics, and will sometimes last for months, or even years. Yay. The doctor however seemed surprised I wasnt cured within a week.

I now face the same problem as fellow blogger bkkdreamer a few months ago. Doctor doesnt diagnose properly. We have the choice of going to a different hospital or keep complaining.

I went to Bangkok Hospital, now I am going to try Samitivej. I hear good things about it. I previously had a very good doctor at BH, but he wasnt specialised in Urology.

Nevertheless, I went to badminton tonight. It was fun, but I was only about at 60% of my normal strength. I still think that any farang who would love to have a healthy choice of gay Thais should go and play badminton.

I am not choosing, but there are always several good-looking and nice people playing, most of whom are gay.

The taxi driver was gay too for once. And he was only 30 years old (according to him). He was actually a very nice man from Saraburi. He was all over the moon when I told him I know the place.

He was very interested in farangs, but told me he thinks the girls are pretty. Bullshit I thought. He tried to ask me what kind of girl I liked, but I didnt feel like telling him I was gay. After what happened to me in Laos (the infamous penis-grabbing incident), I thought it's better to keep low profile...

I have also hear two scary stories recently. Yesterday, me and the office girls talked about taxis. They all hate them, because they feel unsafe, either because of the driver's style of driving - or much worse - because they fear of being assaulted.

My friends sister apparently had a driver jerking off in the taxi while she was in the care - alone with him. That is scary!!! We as men do not realise how scary this can be for women I think.

Another story which made me wonder was that of a friend of my bf's classmate (ok, that story can not be verified...) got caught by the police for something and taken to the station, where they gang-raped the man!!!

First, I thought....oooooo, might not be that bad, I have seen handsome policemen...but serious, that is horrible!!! And I immediately believe it.

Keep your heads low and dont do things like they do on that British TV series "Big Trouble in Tourist Thailand", ok?

Being friends with a moneyboy

2009-09-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

Gosh that is something I have tried really hard to achieve in these 1.5 years in Bangkok. It's always been a fascination for me how these boys manage to get iPhones, visa to farangland, condos, cars, monthly wages triple that of an office worker (and just from one farang!!!!).

Being friends with a moneyboy is nearly impossible. Now, I hear you say: but I have a moneyboy friend, my exexexex, or my best mate's exexexexex.

Ok, but that doesnt count. I mean just a friend. No involvement, no sex, no iPhones, no blackberries, no staying over at condos, nothing like that, just mates.

Last year, I used to chat to a moneyboy. He was something like 18 and he had all the characteristics of a moneyboy:

Knowing a lot of farang, being online 24/7, being from the countryside, learning quickly, and having a great cock (I just saw a picture, but that's enough to judge).

It started like this: He wrote me that he desperately needed to stay somewhere for a week because of.....(whatever, I forgot). I was a bit shocked because I had my own place and didnt plan to share it with some strange teenager.

For many weeks, he desperately wanted to meet me, offered sex and who knows what. One time, he was with a guy who stayed like 50 metres away from my condo, he could literally see me through the window if he'd known.

That's when it became a bit too much and I got a bit scared. Gays know each other in this city, especially moneyboys and farangs. Soon, he deleted me off his msn-list. Obviously I wasnt a candidate.

And here we are, this is the greatest problem of trying to be friends with a moneyboy. When he is chatting to you, he is working. Like, say, a lawyer defending his client.

Now when I am trying to just talk to them a bit, without any material benefits in sight, they lose interest. That is quite normal, but makes it nearly impossible to befriend moneyboys.

In the last few months however, I am starting to succeed.

There's one guy on gayromeo.com who wrote me like 2 years ago and I saw him again, he didnt remember me though.

So I chatted with him a bit. He seemed nice enough, smart and we chatted quite a few times. Of course, he wanted to meet me pretty soon, but he realised that things didnt work that way.

I chatted him up online because I actually saw him with some Dutch walrus tourist with Lonely Planet Thailand in his hand, having Sushi at ZEN/Centralworld at roughly 4pm.

Any sane person works at this time of the day (well except students, tourists and moneyboys I suppose;)

He was quite aghast that I saw him but he didnt even remember his companion. Since then, we have chatted on and off, but he's cooled down a bit since he thinks he has no big chance to meet me.

I am also friends with him on facebook, so I can see how moneboydom works.

What can I observe. He's got like 200 farang friends, most between 40 and 50. He is a cheeky bugger. He will always write things like: "I am lonely at home tonight". Or: "I want to go to the movies but I am alone". Or: "I have to go to study on monday morning, I am so sad".

The stupid farangs believe everything and fall for the false declarations of sadness. Then, they try to outdo each other with flirty messages and look like fools to be honest.

He used to have a Nokia N95 (the same shitty phone as I do), but now has an iPhone. He gets invited to some 5* hotel every sunday morning for brunch by his ex, an old Englishman who now has a new Thai boy. Im not sure why the old one needs to come along too.

One time, when I was in New Zealand, the moneyboy wrote me a message, saying that he is sad because the exboyfriend wanted him to come along to his condo with his new bf, he didnt want though.

He (remembering the suburb where I live) said that he is drunk now and needed a couch to sleep on in Ari. I laughed and said that I dont live in a hotel...

Right now, he was complaining that he is bored tonight, because his dad is home. He told me that he needs a drink. I told him: go to 7eleven and buy some Saeng Som (Thai Whisky). No answer on that one yet. Tomorrow morning he is going to the Sheraton (if you want to meet him there).

We have actually talked more serious things before. He told me that he thinks he is unable to get a younger man. He said he likes younger men, up to about mid-30s but thinks he cant get them. He's not handsome, so maybe that is even true...

But I am not trusting him. He's not ugly either, and he's not even trying with younger ones. (judging from the facebook friends list)

So, my dear elderly readers with "younger Thai companions". You are not helping people out of poverty, you are actually spoiling them like there's no tomorrow. A Thai who takes the taxi to get to university from Nonthaburi to BKK??? I never heard that...

Nokia N95, iPhone, Sheraton, condos, sushi, the oriental....

I just know that whoever is supporting this young man, they turned him into a spoilt brat. When he's 25 and looking old, no one will want him anymore. I hope that by then he's either found a farang who's ready to be his daddy for the rest of his life, or he's found a good job and can support himself, preferably the latter...good luck!

another year's over...

2009-09-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

Christmas is coming soon. Someone on facebook wrote in their status: "another year's over and what have you done".

That really really made me thoughtful, well actually quite sad. It's nearly the end of September, and if you live in North America or Europe, the Christmas music in the malls will start very, very soon.

This must be like the earliest annual review of all times, but I am really in a nostalgic mood right now. This has its reasons.

In much less than a month, my bf will leave Bangkok. I have now been with him here in BKK for nearly a year, and needless to say, it will be not the same without him.

He is going to visit his parents in Korea, flying to Macau, taking the boat to Hong Kong, the train to Shanghai and Qingdao and the ferry to Incheon/Seoul. It should be a nice trip for him...

About 3/4 weeks before leaving a place is always when you slowly start realising that you are soon going to part way with not just your city/home but also with your friends, your hangout places, the things you do every morning, in short: EVERYTHING.

I am not good at saying goodbye so it will be teary. Usually it has always been me going away, either to Europe or to New Zealand and the bf had to come home to the empty flat and the routines without me.

This time it will be me. When he leaves next month I will not want to go to his home area (Ratchada) anymore. It would be so empty... In his soi, he's made friends with a Chinese-Thai lady at the foodcourt.

When I was gone, she once said to him: "you are alone in the city so I take care of you". How sweet! Whenever the bf goes to eat there, she gives him free drinks and he usually brings some food for her too to share it.

I think she is either unable to have children and has now 'adopted' the boyfriend, or she is a lesbian. The bf said: "she is going to cry for sure..."

I wont leave BKK just yet, but soon. 11 December is my flight out of BKK and I really cant imagine not living here anymore. Already now I start looking at buildings and roads and wonder whether this is the last time I am seeing this, or that place...

In the meantime, I have a lot to do, so I wont have much time to visit places, meet up with friends and contemplate.

Until early November, my second thesis needs to be finished, so I can go to Korea to visit the bf. After that, I have a few days time to either relax in BKK, write more on my thesis, or go on a little trip.

In December, I will fly to New Zealand for my graduation, back to Switzerland for XMAS with the boyfriend (first time in Europe for him) and then off to Australia for a new life...(all via Bangkok).

"So this is Christmas;

and what have you done?"

Yes, I am asking myself that question too. The other day I looked through my iPhoto album to check what I have been up to in 2009 and it's really scary...

Whatever I think I have done in 2009 was actually 2008...I have been in Thailand for nearly TWO years, not one...

In 2009, I travelled like there's no tomorrow....Switzerland, Italy, Belgium, Laos, China, New Zealand, Laos, and soon....Korea, New Zealand, Switzerland (and some more European countries).

I must be crazy....what useful things did I even do? Well.....I finished one degree, a thesis packed with 75'000 words/250 pages written in 4 months, and another one is one the way.

But is that something to boast about? No, I dont think degrees are any difficult. I have seen people getting the same degree as me who didnt know anything about the world, let alone our subjects...

I am proud of my theses though, they are good, valuable, useful, practical yet well grounded in theory. I have done real research, interviewed people, made graphs, tables and analysed like crazy...I havent just copied ideas, I had my own.

On Silom Farang's blog people are discussing how to invest their thousands of well-earned dollars/euros in condos (or not) or how much monthly wage/rent they should pay their boys and how many condos/cars they should buy them, I am on the other side of the working career.

For me, it is time to start real life. I am sick of getting money from my parents. Not that I dont want it, but I am started to feel ashamed that I cant support myself at 26. My parents have been so generous (they also have the opportunity to be, luckily), I want to pay them back - I want to show them that they were right to support me.

A degree however is hardly an achievement...so now I need to find a job...

What else have I done? Well, it has been practically a year since the boyfriend arrived here. That also means that exactly today a year ago is the last time I had sex with someone else than the boyfriend.

It is a known fact that when living with a boyfriend, other friendships will sometimes suffer. Most of my best friends live overseas though, mostly in Europe, so I get to spend very little time with them anyway.

For the ones here, especially Kawadjan, I am sorry if I was a bit less adventurous and fun this year...the bitchy Silom nights are definitely a thing of the past, but I think we can look back with a smile.

Otherwise, I have not made many new friends. I had hoped that I could make some new friends through this blog, especially fellow bloggers. They are however either too shy, or there are simply too few of them around...

With the Thais, it was the same as last year. Many acquaintances, countless wonderful people, magic moments, some flirts, and to be honest, if I wouldnt have a boyfriend already, a few candidates, all better than anyone I dated while I was still single...

I never took anyone seriously though, because what's the point if you are already happy?

For the bf and me, this has been a very important year. I think we have both grown enormously in personality. We went through difficult times, especially when I was away, or when I told him about the blog. We have also both realised how we get on each other's nerves - and we both try to do this a bit less...

So, maybe this is the most important achievement of the year then. Why does it always have to be career or money? Consolidating a relationship should be a good achievement, no?

Now we are looking to a common future in Australia in 2010. Wish us luck!

Haircut, Beauty Ideals and a Cleaning frenzy

2009-09-13T02:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the boyfriend and I went to the hairdresser. I was referred to her by my best Thai friend from class and now I got her a new customer (my bf). How nice of me!

I cut the sides, leaving the fringe, top and back long. It looks a bit odd as my face is pretty high already. In Thai logic however, my face is just fine. High, slim faces are good. Round, wide or god forbid even square faces makes people un-pretty.

I disagree with them, but up to them.

taken from manilaguy25.multiply.com

The gay guy from the year below me at university still sometimes comes and says "hi" when I am at university. He usually comments on my wardrobe, and I return the favour. He's coloured his hair ash-blond (he was very happy I knew the colour). It's a bit of a fashion here but I dont like it.

Especially with that guy, who usually puts on a fair share of make-up. It's like a white-out in the snow (where sky and ground become one), you dont know what's the face and what's the hair anymore, both looks the same colour...

On facebook, we discussed his classmates and I offered him my opinion who might be gay. One sporty small guy with darker skin is gay for sure. He looks kind of cute and his voice and language gives everything away.

I told my friend: I think that guy looks alright. He said: I knew it, because you are farang you like dark-skinned people.

Actually, I can not hear this mantra anymore. It's not the reason these people have dark-skin that we like them. It's that foreigner dont have social inhibitions when they come to Thailand. They want someone hot, cute, available, sexy, etc.

Thais invariably search in their own social class. That's why you never ever see an Isan farmer boy with a hi-so Thai Chinese. BUT, when I used to date some richer guys, a lot of them told me that they actually like the dark country-boys. But that they could never imagine a relationship with them.

In other words: they are sizzling hot, but I cant show a dark guy to my mummie, she would take away my BMW and my job at daddy's company.

So, to sum up. The reason why most farang chose a dark-skinned person is not necessarily the farang's attraction to dark skin but the lack of social inhibitions and asian beauty and class-models.

A friend of mine said: wait a few years, and you'll see them buy tanning creams as the society becomes richer and as being dark doesnt mean working on the farm but having the money to have a holiday. Lets see if my friend is right!

In the meantime, I will look at gorgeous Thai men of all colour!

taken from manilaguy25.multiply.com

Today is Sunday. I am relaxing at home for once. The boyfriend had his first two German lessons at the Goethe Institut. The lessons are now every day from 9.30 to 12. A few weeks ago, I asked him if he wanted to learn German, and he said yes. Great, so he'll be able to talk with my grand-parents when he comes to Switzerland for Christmas!

taken from manilaguy25.multiply.com

A few hours ago, I suddenly got into a cleaning frenzy. I often get these on sundays. I see something needs to be done. E.g. the shower is a bit dirty, or the floor is a bit dusty.

Sometimes I would just sweep the floor, but every so often I always find new things to clean, so I clean nearly everything. Today was such a day. The balcony, the floor, the kitchen, the shower and the toilet. Now my place is sparkling clean!

Tonight, I am going to listen to my bf sing at a Burmese church event. His classmate is Burmese (and gay - and also Christian) and asked some of his friends to sing with him. I'll go and have a look, it should be fun.

By the way, you can see that I still like Pinoy men!:p Thanks Ian for the pictures!

Tweet, Tweet, Tweet, ...

2009-09-10T19:15:00.001-07:00

So I have decided to follow the fad and sign up to twitter.

If you wanna know what I am doing all day long and what mood I am in right now, add me on twitter. My name is, surprise, surprise, BITCHOFBANGKOK.

Please follow me so we can have some fun and bitchy dialogues:)

Forgive the ugly colour scheme right now, I will try to make it nice soon.

Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet

gay phi phi?

2009-09-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Very natural, no?

Gosh it's already been a few days now since I have come back from Phi Phi.

I promised to write something about the gay side of our trip, so here we go.

When you arrive at Phi Phi, you think you landed in Ibiza, Mallorca or whatever pan-European party town.

Except for the Thai touts, they are probably the only thing that remind you that you are in Thailand, and not in Europe.

The tourists on the island are 90% Europeans. Most are young backpackers, on their 3-month tour of Southeast Asia, settling in whatever place offers cheap booze, good sex, an adventure and fun.

Some are also more discerning middle-aged couples (ALWAYS couples) who like to eat seafood on the beach and have a romantic getaway.

Phi Phi by night, nothing to write home about.

Me and the bf didnt fit in with any of these groups. I am too old to be a party-queen. In fact, I never was a party queen at all. I get drunk with friends to have a good chat, or even enjoying a great wine for the wine's sake.

In our hotel, we were the youngest people by about 20 years. It was a hotel for the "discerning" travellers. All couples from various European countries between the age of 38 and 42 (roughly).

I felt a bit out of place to be honest. Apparently the bf and me are mentally already 40...shriek!!!

The view from our hotel for the discerning 40-year old travellers

As we arrived at the hotel, a young man with neatly combed hair took both of our backpacks and walked us up the 80-or-so steps to our room. I asked him in Thai whether it was too heavy for him.

He answered: "I can not speak Thai sorry."

Oops. I was a bit surprised but quickly realised that the handsome young man is from Burma. He came into the room with us and showed us everything, while being really friendly and not ever stopping to smile.

A very charming man. I am sure he was gay and I have a feeling he liked me. The bf and me both agreed that he was cute. I am interested in Burmese men anyway, they have a special look.

As usual in hotels, more than one employees is gay. In our hotel, there was another boy (perhaps 15 years or so). He was way too young to be of any interest to us, but clearly gay too. When the farang men would serve themselves at the breakfast buffet, he would ogle them for minutes.

Otherwise, Phi Phi seems not very gay at all. Most travellers are as straight as an airport runway and I did not discover a lot of local gay culture at all. It was deemed to be a bit disappointing from a gay point of view.

So the boyfriend and me tried to make "good time" ourselves. While wandering aimlessly along a beach, the bf suggested to walk to the next bay and have sex.

So we kept walking...the next bay was dirty and full of rusty Singha cans, discarded flip-flops and even a Singaporean water bottle!

Beach with all sorts of plastic

We were still in plain sight of the main bay and some fishermen who waded through the shallow water. This was not the place to have sex.

So we kept walking over dangerously slippery rocks and sharp pieces of coral until we reached the trunk of a tree, slightly tucked away.

The sex beach

We sat down and started, well...you know what boys like to do when they like each other. Most readers will now probably start to salivate...this is a porn-fantasy come true!

Sex on a beach in full daylight!!!! YEAAAAAAH!!!

But tell me, it's nothing to write home about. Sitting on a trunk is uncomfortable and it's hard to cum! Wearing tight swimming shorts is also not very good because its hard to take out the little friend...

Finally, it's absolutely no turn on for me to possibly be discovered....I know a lot of people find this thrilling, but I just really dont want anyone to walk up to me when I am having an orgasm!!!

In this case though, I was sure no one saw us. So it was kind of ok. After we each spread some little white dots on the trunk of the tree, we got up to walk back to the main beach.

Coming around the corner, three young farangs walked towards us, not very far at all from our sexy spot. 5 minutes longer and they would have discovered us!!!

And guess what, these three gays were faggots from California (their language, gym-toned bodies and attitude gave it away). I didnt care for them but if you like the farang porn-star look you would have gone crazy.

They saw that we are a fag couple too and must have wondered what we did in this odd and not very pretty spot...and I couldnt help wondering whether they were gay porn actors and were going to shoot a porn right where we did the same...

The questions will never be answered, since I dont watch farang porn anyway, but it was an odd coincidence nonetheless! Who knows, maybe they saw us!!!

A Weekend on Phi Phi Island - an adventure that left its MARKS

2009-09-07T09:06:00.000-07:00

In Thailand, I have generally stuck to Bangkok and the near provinces around the capital when going for trips.

The big tourist draw-cards of the North (Chiang Mai and the mountains) and the South (the Islands) had not quite won me over yet. This last weekend though, the bf and me decided to go with the flow and try out a typical Thai holiday on an Island in the Andaman Sea.

We chose to go to Ko Phi Phi. Ko Phi Phi is famous for three things.

1. It's shape and dramatic landscape. It consists of two mountain ridges opposing each other, connected only by a tiny strip of sand.

2. The Tsunami. Well, the tsunami hit Ko Phi Phi hard. Basically the wave flushed the isthmus connecting the two parts of the Island, killing dozens and leaving the landscape changed drastically (e.g. less palm trees)

3. The movie "The Beach". It was shot on the neighbouring island of Phi Phi Ley, which is a National Park and on which there is no accomodation. More about this later.

Here you can see what I mean. The Island looks gorgeous and the geography is special.

So we arrived on Friday evening by flying Air Asia from Bangkok to Krabi, then taking the ferry from there. It was like arriving in a different country, or even in a different world, and just a few hours from my home in Bangkok.

The alienation quickly increased when we got on land. Dozens of touts shouting names of hotels, wanting to take us for boat rides and all sorts of other things.

On the way to the hotel, we walked through little streets which could have been in Silom, Nana, Ibiza, Sydney or who knows where. It wasnt like Thailand to me.

Irish Pubs, English bookshops, about 700 diving shops with bare-chested Englishmen wanting to take us for a dive, blond girls wearing hardly anything wanting to give us 2 buckets of alcohol for one, an alleyway of massage parlours, whose masseuses looked like they came straight from the brothels of Bangkok/Pattaya/Phuket and behaved accordingly.

In short, we hated it. Perhaps I succumbed slightly to the island romanticism expectations prior to arrival. I did hope that there would be a bit more quiet on the island, I did hope for a slightly nicer landscape, better beach, less stupid European backpackers surfing the day away on facebook and eating pizza at night...but it was not all that bad.

On the third day, we went on a cruise, paid 500 baht each for a 7 hour trip including lunch and snorkeling gear - not bad!

There were about 20 other boats doing the same and we thought we made the mistake of our lives, but it turned out to be a great day!

Look at the weather and the sights and you know why.

With us on the trip: A young Italian couple with a very well-dressed and extremely skinny, even lanky young man with long hair and skimpy speedos (interesting), a lezzie-couple from the UK, three young silly German backpackers and four Italians between the age of 18 and 60, accompanied with Thai girls/women/brides/sex partners/wives (or whatever).

It was a fun group. Our boat guide spoke no English and didnt even understand my Thai. I think he was Burmese (like so many other people on Ko Phi Phi)

First we went to the above beach to have lunch. The ferry ride nearly made me throw up. In our small long-tail boat, we were rocked like a baby is by its mum when it cries.

Only closing my eyes and telling myself that I was really tired helped me from not handing my breakfast to the fish in the sea.

But it was worth it. You see yourself. This beach was stunning, the colours surreal and even swimming in the sea was nice.

This was only part one though. Part two was crossing over to Phi Phi Ley, where we went snorkeling and anchored to have a look at the famous Maya Bay, where "The Beach" with Leo DiCaprio was filmed.

Between the two islands, the sea got really choppy and I swear there were waves of 2-3 metres right next to my face. I asked the boyfriend whether Thai thinking as such would allow the return to base in case of an insecure passage. I never received an answer because we arrived safely.

Snorkeling was fun, I loved it. It's quite amazing when you go under water with your goggles and suddenly the colourful world of reefs is revealed. Striped fish (I scared some away), back fish, corals, sea urchins and so on.

The boyfriend got scared and hyperventilated. He doesnt like the depths of the ocean at all but he tried to enjoy it at least. Kudos to him for that! I must say that I prefer some depth to the shallowness of the coral waters of our snorkeling spot.

It ensured that I got several bloody scratches on seemingly every part of my body.

Then we anchored and were told to swim to shore to go see Maya Bay. We should take shoes. I jumped into the water and swam, using my two flip-flops (thongs for Aussies, jandals for Kiwis) as paddles.

It didnt really work. The waves were high and I got more than a fair share of salty water in my mouth. Ew. Getting onto my feet and onto the shore was much more difficult than I ever imagined. I was simply swept around by the waves and my body indiscriminately scraped the corals and rocks wherever it wanted.

Others didnt fare better. Some shouted and there was genuine danger. The waves were high and some people were smashed onto the rocks. Most of us bled by the time we were back in the boats. The boat man smiled and smoked a cigarette. He then told me that the waves are not usually that high. Thanks for the warning, mate.

I now have a bruised arm, back and knee. I hope no American ever has injuries on such a trip, the Thai company would be sued for millions probably.

The journey back, despite our boat merrily rocking in the moody sea, seemed tame. We stopped in the middle of the passage and most of us thought we were out of petrol. The more sane people among the party were worried, the German backpackers hollered in excitement.

The boat man said: " Youuuuu - sunset!!!" We stopped to watch the sunset, how nice. And it was a beauty!

So that day turned out to be an adventurous and fun day - and it has literally left its mark on both the bf's and my limbs.

More about the gay stories of the trip and my thoughts on Ko Phi Phi tomorrow. Let me have a good rest first, and someone put cream on my wounds please, ouch!!!!

...big drama unfolds in BKK...

2009-09-04T15:22:00.000-07:00

While surfing on Fridae.com, a gay contact and news-website, I came across a story titled: "HIV activist Nicholas Snow catches abusive Bangkok neighbour on video".

Have a look yourselves here.

Apparently, one fine day, Nicholas had an argument with his neighbour, and grabbed a camera to film the incident.

Have a look at the video here:

Judge for yourself what you think about this exchange.

While Nicholas' engagement for HIV+people in Thailand and in the world is laudable, I did find aspects of this clip a bit odd.

To me personally, it seems clear that there is some story between these two people. I dont want to judge Nicholas on his behaviour and neither the Thai neighbour. I wouldnt know how I would fare emotionally being HIV-positive, but it probably doesnt help to call your neighbour "asshole".

Equally curious is the fact that Nicholas thinks his neighbour knows that he is HIV+ from his profile on gayromeo. I dont know, but if you share online profiles with your neighbours it means you are somewhat involved with each other. It couldnt just be a random witch hunt, could it?

It's nevertheless scary that someone will go pull a kitchen knife, no matter how provoked you get.

If you want to read Nicholas' much-advertised explanation of the context within which this incident happened, visit his site.

It was quite interesting to read the reactions the article on fridae.com got.

At the beginning, most commented on how moved and saddened they were by this verbal insult. Later however, more skeptical voices gained the upper hand, warning that we do not know the whole story, even accusing Nicholas of overly displaying and victimising himself.

Interestingly, it was predominantly elderly farangs who commented negatively about Snow's accusations.

I must say that, even though such comments may have substance, they reek of the "farang-farang envy", which is very strong in Bangkok.

It's a bit of a phenomenon that farangs look at each other with suspicion here. A lot of them think they have found paradise and every farang is a competitor who can destroy his paradise.

I used to think a little bit like this too at the beginning. I was new to a foreign place and intended to come here for a "different" experience. Seeing old foreigners with cute young Thai boys was not on my wish list.

Nevertheless, especially since I moved to the Ari area I have sensed a much better vibe from farangs. Farangs who live there are relatively young and mostly professionals. They seem to be genuinely curious about other farangs who walk around with purpose and a bit of dignity (no shorts, no flip-flops, no Singha or red-bull t-shirts, no tank tops).

It's really surprising (or maybe not?) that such a little clip has provoked, or rather revealed so much hatred.

On the successful integration of foreigners...

2009-09-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

Thai authorities show us exactly how NOT to deal with foreigners and the integration of people with foreign ancestry into their newly adopted country.

Little boy Mong Thongdee, 12, is apparently the Thai champion in paper airplane flying. He is therefore qualified to go to Japan to represent his country in the world youth championship. But hang on, Mong can not represent Thailand because...he is stateless.

Burmese but not really Burmese, but certainly not Thai...

Born to ILLEGAL Burmese migrants (their illegality had to be emphasised in every article I read about this story), Mong doesnt have a nationality, and is therefore stateless.

The Foreign Ministry was prepared to grant him a 1-year temporary passport, however the Interior Ministry said because he is not Thai he can not have a Thai passport. Fair enough.

Why am I even writing about this little boy?

Because it perfectly fits with my post about Thai identity and the movie Citizen Juling.

In Thai thinking, everyone who doesnt have Thai blood running in his or her veins (e.g. speaks Thai, is Buddhist etc) can not be Thai. I find this mentality very counter-productive, perilous and just downright wrong.

In the movie, it was the evil Terrorist Southern Muslims, and in this case it is the Burmese. Two of the most-hated "non-Thai" groups that Thailand has to deal with on its own soil.

This little boy has been born in Thailand, never left the country (he has no passport and nationality, duh), goes to a Thai school and even has a Thai name!!!

Yet, it is not accepted that he could be Thai, yet even be part of the wider Thai society. I find this truly sad and disconcerting.

This country needs to accept it is also an immigrant country. What exactly is the cost to Thai society of giving a young "Burmese" (he is actually not Burmese, because he doesnt have a citizenship) Thai citizenship and fully accepting him as a young Thai boy? Indeed what speaks against giving citizenship to thousands of young children born and grown up Thailand who have never even seen other lands?

The cost is close to zero, but the future benefit for Thailand could be huge. It would lead to social inclusion of minorities, peace in the country and even add considerable human resources to the national economy.

Even the Bangkok Post, normally the champion of the Government, and all things Thai in general, is a bit critical. Read their article here.

I think the problems of mentality that I have highlighted in this post, and the last one, are among the major problems facing Thailand right now. If people are not taught to think more inclusively, I see a bleak future for this country.

By the way, I am off to Koh PhiPhi tomorrow with the boyfriend for a romantic getaway:)

Am I Thai?

2009-08-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

I finally have a computer again, and it's even a pretty one. People now admire me for my new Macbook Pro. I'd rather keep it hidden away and admire it myself. I hate showing off things and I didnt not buy this baby to show it to anyone else.

I find the new laptop surprisingly easy to use, nevertheless, I have to get used to quite a few novelties.

Lately, the taxi drivers have gone a bit strange. I dont know if this is in line with Silom Farang's doomsday predicting, or if I have just been using them a bit more than usual.

Strangely, a lot of taxis just stop next to me these days. They have the feeling that since I am a farang, I would have this huge urge for a taxi, even when I go to 7eleven, the bus stop or the motocy stand.

I am hugely annoyed by this. Are they stupid or what? If I want a taxi, I actively search for them, and hail them down. Walking on the footpath innocently doesnt count.

Once I am in the taxi though, the mood brightens. In the last few days, most drivers thought I was born in Thailand for some reason. The Thai-Chinese taxi driver who was singing 1980's power balads thought I must have a Thai mum or something.

The taxi driver who used to live in Chiang Mai and not shower often because it was too cold for him outside (18C) thought I must definitely be Thai.

The Roi-Et taxi driver asked me: why do you speak Thai? When I continued, he also thought I was Thai and surprised to hear I was born in the land of Heidi, watches, chocolate and snowy mountains.

The hustlers in Pantip Plaza (the ultimate electronics mall of Bangkok) didnt think I was Thai. "Movie, series, dvd for you sir". One even held a DVD with a naked Japanese women in my face. I shrieked.

I hope the man understood I was not into his Japanese ladies. I was walking around with my French friend who lives in Laos and visited me for a day in Bangkok by the way. Most people thought we were a couple of course.

How rude of the Japanese porn man to just push a DVD with a naked lady into my face while I was accompanied by a lady! A week before, when I was in Pantip with my bf though, a hustler recognised my sexual preferences and wanted to offer me boys.

Well done, at least he spotted that I am a faggot, but I would have rather told him that he if he would have a good look at my boyfriend, he might realise I only need one boy:)

Walking around Pantip with my friend from France was great though. We were looking for an external hard-drive and since we both have no idea about computers, we quickly shifted our attention away from specifics to DESIGN.

You can not believe how liberating it feels, when you can finally admit you are looking for beauty in an electronic product, and not feign some sort of interest in speed, price, warranties or size.

We quickly realised: Samsung it must be. I bought a brown one (called Chocolate) and my friend the sexy red one. We were both pleased:)

I dont want to open up a huge discussion on what it means to be farang in Bangkok, multiple identities, the concept of home etc...but it feels a bit strange sometimes to be treated like a local by one person, only to be relegated to tourist-status by the next person.

Sometimes I wish I had a different skin colour - I wonder how it would be to live in Bangkok as an Asian foreigner.

By the way, tonight is a big Bangkok faggot blog meeting. Sadly we are only three:) Bkkdreamer, Kawadjan and me. Other bloggers should join us!:)

A few gay stories

2009-08-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I live in Bangkok, so there are bound to be a few gay stories and little events, flirts, looks and smiles every day.

1
Last weekend, the bf and me went to JJ market to get some clothes for him for when he goes to Korea soon. When he will be there, it will be autumn so the shirts we wear here in Bangkok are not warm enough.

He got himself a stripy moneyboy-style sweater (but looks much better in it than the moneyboys:)))) and an uber-hot black Japanese-style bomber jacket.

We seemed to have been THE attraction of the fashion area of JJ, because just about every other gay was looking at us. Obvsiously we were a couple, and as a Northeast Asian/Farang couple, we actually get a lot of attention here in Thailand.

There was one moment where we both went into a shop - probably because of the seller. He was tall, skinny, had very dark skin but a nice, cute, friendly face. My bf prefers the countryside look and darker skin to the pale hi-so Thais, and frankly, I like that look too!

Awkwardness ensued when he tried on a shirt and the seller didnt know whom he should smile at more, the bf, or me.

2
On Monday, I went to the gym in my condo - to exercise a bit. I have lately taken up exercising. On most days I will either go and play badminton, or stay home and exercise in the condo.

Usually I will do some weights, sit-ups and then go on the cross-trainer for 20 minutes. And of course, in these 20 minutes I will everything I have...

After that I usually go swimming to relax a bit. For swimming, I usually just take off my sports shorts and go in in my briefs. As I was doing exactly that, a Chinese-Thai in his late 20s (or so) was watching me extensively.

He then proceded to swim next to me all the time and stop where I stopped. After 10 minutes of this silly game, he provocatively went into the sauna.

Of course I didnt follow, what would I do in there with him? Anyway, he was wearing an "old-Japanese-man-style" swimsuit. Black, straight-cut and too long speedos that is.

I couldnt even see his endowment, so I went to have a shower and up to my apartment.

3
Usually, my way home from university goes the following way. Walk 10 minutes to BTS National Stadium. Catch BTS Silom Line until Siam BTS. Go one floor up to the platform to the Mor Chit train. Get off at Ari BTS. Take the bus two stations and walk 3 minutes home.

This is quite an interesting little trip every time. Everyone who has taken the BTS before knows that the passengers of these trains are mainly office ladies, rich school kids from the good universities and high schools, a few tourists and of course also male, mostly office workers.

There is quite a lot to see in general in terms of handsome men of course...

When I get on the bus, different story. Most of these people are lower-middle to low class people, notably darker in their skin colour and they are often a bit surprised to see a farang on the non-aircon buses.

Yesterday, I rode the bus with a young policeman. I live opposite the police station and near an army base, so there are a lot of uniformed men around at all times. If you like that, it's a good thing:)

The young policeman was a gentleman. He saw I was getting off at the same stop as I did, he pushed the bell for me and even though he was also getting off and standing at the door way before me, he let me get down first, with multiple huge, and actually really cute smiles.

I hope he has to punish me one day for being naughty...:p

Citizen Juling or: the exposure of Thai identity

2009-08-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend was busy. First, I went to see "Coco avant Chanel", the biographical movie about Coco Chanel's early life. It was ok.

Much more interesting was the public though. 90% faggots. There was a lot of dressing up going on too and I had the feeling most faggots thought they were Coco Chanel themselves. Almost all failed though.

Overdressing is exposing your bad taste even more, honeys.

More importantly, me and the bf went to House RCA cinema to watch a documentary called "Citizen Juling". I dont even remember where I heard about this film but the running time (3 hours 42 minutes) alerted me that this must be something major.

It turned out to be a deeply moving and extremely revealing piece of documentary filming, with the main topic of the 2006 beating (and eventually death) of a young female teacher from the far north (Chiang Rai) working in the far south (Narathiwat).

The director, Ing K, used this incided, which at the time received huge attention in Thailand and sparked outcry and a wave of sympathy for the victim from all across Thailand, including many citizens, the Royal family and the then Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra (who sent her a few plastic flowers), to offer a glimpse into Thai society and its regional, class, political and religious divergences.

As such, I would say that it is none less than an extensive account of the "state of the nation".

teacher Juling's mother giving an emotional account of how her daughter was beaten up

The film is an uncommented documentary and mostly just films conversations between different people, or between the film maker and students, villagers, parents, judges and military in the South (where the beating occurred) and villagers and family from the North (where Juling is from).

I think this film has revealed a lot about Thailand and its eternal struggle to achieve peace and development.

During the film, I made some striking observations, which enforced my previous opinion of social and political affairs in Thailand.

Firstly, there seems to be an extremely widespread mentality of "either-or" or "black-white" thinking among Thais. People are either good or bad; Northerners are peaceful, Southerners violent; Muslims are this, Buddhists are that. There always seems to be a fitting pre-made classfication in which people conveniently fit.

People who have learned some Thai will also realise that this thinking is reflected in the Thai conversational language, which at times is stunningly simple.

This is not a problem as such, but the trend to oversimplifications can quickly result in a mentality which does not question. The Thai society, as sad as it is, is very bad at questioning.

In the conflict in the South, the unwillingness of people to look at themselves and question their behaviour seems particularly accentuated.

In the village where teacher Juling was beaten to death, no one saw anything despite the fact that these villages are extremely tightly knit societies. At the same time, the extremely heavy-handed approach by the police is not widely questioned.

There have been several incidents in the past few years where suspects and offenders were simply shot in execution-style as opposed to interrogation.

The ignorance on both sides results in a demonisation of the other side. The Muslim minority becomes to hate the state, which represents oppression and the majority of Thais are extremely suspicious about anything from Yala, Pattani and Narathiwat (the three "red zone" provinces) and anything Muslim as such.

The religious differences, often cited as the cause for the conflitcs are downplayed by many locals, Buddhists and Muslims. The local Imam speaks about his opinion that it is not in the interest of religions if people just use them to differentiate themselves from others and do not practice them with their hearts. A local Buddhist man says that it is ridiculous to seperate the people into Muslims and Buddhists since they have blended for a long time.

This also comes out in the feature: we can see people speaking Thai and Yawi (the local language) interchangibly and Arab words have been integrated into the Thai language.

Therefore, religion can not be the cause of the problem but is rather a scapegoat.

In my opinion, personal, social, geographical and religious oversimplifications, paired with ignorance to question are a dangerous cocktail. This is sadly the situation we are in in Thailand.

Watching this documentary I couldnt stop thinking about my home country, Switzerland, where so many different regional, linguistic, religious and political identities can easily co-exist. Why is this not the case in Thailand?

I think the core of the problem is, as said before, the unability, or unwillingness to question common conceptions. The Thai identity is very strongly shaped by the notion of unity (which rests on the three pillars of the nation, the religion and the monarchy).

"We are all Thais" "How could Thais fight against Thais?" "He did this or that, he cannot be Thai"...etc.

Here in Thailand, due to the unwillingness to question and the strong desire to unity, strong leaders are preferred. This has lead to the rise and continued popularity of Thaksin but also an extremely strong belief into the three pillars mentioned above.

It would be presumptuous for me to present a "solution" to the current problems of Thailand, especially the Southern insurgency. I think nevertheless that the first, and most important step that needs to be taken is the acceptance that Thailand is made up of so many different local culures, ethnicities, customs, languages, identities, even religions!

If people can accept that Thailand is not one monocultural territory from Chiang Rai to Narathiwat, a big step towards the development of the country would be made.

If you read until here, thanks for following my thoughts. It may be boring perhaps but to me it was very important to put a few thoughts out there. I care very much about Thailand and the sad things happening every day, not just in the South but also in politics, touch me.

By the way, during the whole 3 hours 42 minutes of this film, an Australian faggot with 3 fag-hags was sitting in front of me. He managed to laugh very loudly at the most inappropriate moments, clap his hands theatrically after the end of the film (as the only person) and prance around giggling after such a sad and heavy story.

Finally, I can recommend everyone who is interested in Thai current affairs (well the story happened in 2006) to go watch this movie.

It is screening every day at 6.30pm at HOUSE RCA, entrance is a mere 100THB.

Please also check WiseKwai's review of the movie here.

Relaxing on the Mekong

2009-08-17T01:57:00.000-07:00

After I came back from New Zealand a bit more than a week ago, I only had little time to settle in Bangkok. Me and Kawadjan planned a trip to the South of Laos for the Queen's Birthday, which was on last Wednesday.

So, only 4 days after arriving, I was on the plane to Ubon Ratchathani with Kawadjan. As you could expect from us two faggots, this would be one GAY holiday - and it started off early!

When we got off the plane at Ubon, we were looking for a songteaw or some other transport which would bring us to the bus station. There was nothing.

Soon after though, a gay Singaporean (or so I thought, he turned out to be Bruneian) and his Thai boyfriend started to talk to us.

After an estimated 2 minutes, he (the Bruneian, his Thai bf was too shy) told us about his ex-boyfriends and language skills, and asked us whether we were a couple and whether we sometimes have sex together...

His Thai bf seemed to like us and quietly suggested we should come with his mum and dad to his native village...we let them drive us to the bus station and thanked them.

This little encounter reminded me why I really love Thailand. The Thai bf's parents showed absolutely no hesitation to help us and his mum could hardly stop talking to me, sometimes grabbing my arm to lead me into the right direction...very nice!!!

Moments later we were on the international bus across the border to Pakse in the south of Laos. On the bus, Kawadjan found a new girlfriend...since we had no seats, we both sat at the back of the bus on the floor or the luggage compartment, where kawadjan bonded happily with a Lao girl, who took a dozen pictures of us...

The border to Laos was just about the strangest border I have ever seen im my life. You arrive on the Thai side in a huge building which, according to Lonely Planet looks like a giant Nacho bowl, where the Nachos are purple. How true!

Then, you basically walk across the border on a dirt-track where you are going to pass ladies selling bamboo shoots, fruits, cows grazing, and a few little huts, which looked semi-official.

After we finally found the border control building, we tried to enter Laos. Since I am a rich farang, I have to get a visa for 30$US (my country is the cheapest for some reason, others, such as Canadians have to pay 40$US). I needed to fill out three forms (!) and supply a picture. I didnt have a picture, but smiling at the Lao border guard and speaking some minimal Lao seemed to put them into a mild mood!

After crossing, we went to the market and got some food. This bloody border is so porous I could not believe it. Anyone could have just walked past all these houses, cows and market stands, no one would have noticed!!!

After changing into a songteaw in Pakse, we soon arrived in Champasak, our first destination.

In Champasak, we were greeted by two kathoeys (the only ones I saw on the whole trip!!!) They let us pass to the ferry, which brought us to Champasak proper, across the mighty Mekong.

The river should become the dominating theme of our trip. Currently, it is the rainy season, so the river is very high, has a muddy reddish-brown colour and at times is impossibly wide. (it looked more like a lake to me)

Champasak is famous for its Angkor-style temple, Wat Phu. The sun started to set as we arrived there and the background of luscious green colours of the grass against the ancient ruins were a spectacular sight!

As I stood atop the temple, I couldnt stop noticing that during the same time in Europe, castles were built, which have massive grey walls and which were all about protection from the enemy. At the same time, the builders of Wat Phu just couldnt stop designing this place: lakes, elaborate stairs lined with trees, terraces and temples - amazing!

Then, the tuk-tuk driver brought us back to a guesthouse, which belonged to his brother. We took the fancy air-con room and me, and later also Kawadjan joined the owner and his family for some Beer Lao.

This was not the last time we had Beer Lao. On the opposite, holidays in Laos seem to revolve around Beer Lao, lab (minced meat dish) and chatting with friendly people. Among the family, the youngest member had to pour the glass, which would be consumed as quickly as possible by the temporary owner (yes there is only one glass!).

This ensured that everyone got equally drunk and that we all had a great time. Besides, the owner's nephew was a sight to behold...cute!!! And he gave me stares too! But I was a bit shocked to find out that he was only 16...(picture will follow!)

Lao guys, as I knew from my last trip already, are really gorgeous friendly people, quite curious too! They do a lot of manual work, so they build up some nice muscles! But since they work hard, they also age very fast!

In the guesthouse, kawadjan and me were reminded that Lao is still a very conservative and closed country. People go to bed around 9 or 10pm, there is an official curfew at 11pm (if you dont close your bar, you get fined!) and people are up again by 5am or so.

Also, it is forbidden for non-married couples to sleep together! The same holds for foreigners and any Lao person (unless married).

Article 3 on the guesthouse reads: "In the hotel-guesthouse, do not have man and woman sleep together if they have not husband and wife!"

Luckily, kawadjan and me are both men, so we were not too fussed about this:P

The next day, we made our way to the very south of Laos, where the 4000 islands (Si Pan Don) are formed by the mighty Mekong, which is making its way south to Cambodia.

Si Pan Don is a relatively new kid on the block in terms of tourism, and guest houses offering cheap (from 2US$) bamboo hut accomodation are springing up like mushrooms.

Rightly so! The scenery is amazing. The river, filled up right to the top breaks up in a few fastly moving streams, which make their way down through gorges, rapids and waterfalls, which can be observed from the islands.

Around the islands, traditional villages give an impression of what Lao life was 50 years ago, and still is now. There are dozens of kids playing, animals of all sorts crossing your path, and buffaloes calmly grazing the shores when they are not busy on the rice fields.

For me, having not grown up in the tropics, the sight of shiny green rice fields and towering coconut trees on the shore of the Mekong was just simply fantastic. Here are some impressions:

Progress however is coming to Si Pan Don at quick speed. Since last week, one of the islands, Don Khon (where we stayed) is connected to the power grid! Consequently, we saw people putting up satellite dishes, and where the TV had been installed, dozens of people congregating to watch Thai TV.

The other island, Don Det, is more popular with travellers due to its "Khao San" feeling, wide availability of drugs, cheaper accomodation.

Actually, we DID not very many things. In the morning, we'd head out to one of the many restaurants to have some delicious Pho (noodle soup). Then, we'd rent a bike and find a place to have some lunch - and our first Beer Lao of the day, before doing much the same in the afternoon.

It was always enormously important to get a good stop before sunset, because that is when the locals showered. They showered in the muddy waters of the Mekong, and god forbid, these views can be amazing. Hunky young Lao boys in tight underwear, cleaning themselves in the Mekong on more than one occasion totally blew us away!

We also enjoyed a very good relationship with some of the waiters. Especially in one restaurant, the boy started to understand that we were gays and that we liked him. He enjoyed the attention very much.

On the last day, we bought some silk off his shop, and he showed me which ones I should buy so I would look beautiful (he used the Lao word ngaam which is only used for women)....and he even suggested he could look ngaam too!!!

I bought some silk clothes and kawadjan and me did some "camwhoring" with our matchy-matchy skirts. In the evening, we showed the waiter the pictures we took in his silk and he was thrilled...:)

A more negative story sadly also happened during these four days on the islands. When kawadjan and me sat down for a beer at some place, the owner (26yo, like me) relatively quickly revealed that he was gay and that he thought we were a couple.

NO, we are still not a couple, but it was interesting to listen to his stories of being gay in Laos. Apparently, he has some foreign friends which want him come to their farangland, and he also has farang friends in Pattaya and Phuket.

In the meantime, he had actually been to Pattaya BUT ONLY FOR THE BEACH, of which he assured us about 4 times.

He went on to tell us stories of travellers, which he sucked off and fucked too. He didnt stop emphasising how much he liked farangs and how dark cocks make him vomit. He should have looked at himself.......

By that time I had to go to the toilet (you feel what is going to happen, yeah?). The toilet was in the backyard of his guesthouse, facing the kitchen. I did my deed and wanted to leave. But there was Mister Aek, who hurriedly asked me if I am not boyfriends with kawadjan, and whether we would really not have sex....

He also asked me whether I have a boyfriend...I said yes, but it was too late, he simply grabbed my crotch. And he grabbed it hard, it hurt!

I was shocked and shouted and hurriedly went back to kawadjan and urged him to pay so we could leave. I didnt dare telling kawadjan what happened, because there were other travellers. The host, Mister Aek did however have the audacity to appear with a camera, wanting to take pictures of me....

He also explained kawadjan how he thought my dick was hard, so "we in Laos do it like this" and he felt empowered to just feel me up.

What an ASSHOLE! I was really shocked. I had never been sexually harassed before, and I really think that it is not a laughable matter at all.

This was not just a friendly clap on the butt, this was a forceful grabbing of my cock!!!...I left a scathing remark on travelfish.org, which is a popular website for Southeast Asian travellers...

This did sour the stay in Laos a little bit, but all in all, I had a lovely time again in this wonderful country with its wonderful people...

back in bangkok!

2009-08-11T03:35:00.000-07:00

I got back from New Zealand on Saturday night. Suvarnabhumi was a dream! Quickest processing of my passport so far (they normally take some time finding my stamps and visas), quick picking up of the luggage, no scanning of luggage and I was already out.

Strangely, there were no taxi touts and it was extremely quiet in the arrivals hall. My bf smiled from far away and it was lovely to see him again after these weeks. I missed him a lot of course, but he generally struggles more...

I think in a couple, there's always one who struggles a bit more with distance - that's not to say I really missed him of course.

It's just always so nice to see him after a long time because every time I am amazed at how cute he actually is...hehehe.

Since then, I had three lazy days, cooking at home on sunday night, going to university on monday and going to do merit today.

That's something I have never done. Me, the bf and my friend from university (girl) took a taxi to Thewet and bought some fish at the market. Then we went down to the river and freed them...that's as easy as it is.

My friend had two big catfish, which were very lively in the plastic bag and bit holes in them, so they were nearly dead by the time we were at the river.

The bf and I had little snake fish. He picked one up and it was - surprise suprise - slippery! He nearly lost it...We wished that we have a happy and long time together...

Making merit is really big in Thailand right now because tomorrow it is the Queen's birthday. And since the Queen is all of Thailand's mum, they call it "mother's day". There are meant to be fireworks and something like a vigil at 8pm where people light candles. How cute!

But I wont be in the country anymore by then!!!

Tomorrow morning, I will catch a plane to Ubon Ratchathani with fellow blogger Kawadjan. We will go to the south of Laos until monday morning. Lets see what my second Laos trip will deliver.

This time almost certainly no crazy story with waiters. Kawadjan and me will probably numerically double the gay scene in these little towns and on the islands. Lets see how they take our "faggotry" (as kawadjan would call it)....

there should be heaps of pictures to come....in any case, I wont be able to blog from there, since the places we will go to are not conntected to the power grid...good luck to us!

Solo Roadtrip to the West Coast

2009-08-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

this is my view right now as I write. pretty, isnt it? But it has its price, Queenswotn is expensive! What I cant understand though is that if I pay such a punishable amount for my hotel, why is parking, internet and a toothbrush/paste not included?

Two nights ago, I went to a French restaurant. The food was ok, but the waiters were not. As you can only expect from French people, they were smug, wearing a fake smile and I, as a single guest was about as welcome as a gay in an evangelical church.

When I wanted an espresso AFTER asking for the bill, the waiter exploded...Upon paying I realised that the only additional thing he needed to do is type "+3.5$" into a calculator.

People may say that Thai smiles are not genuine...but service is a hell of a lot better in Thailand than here!

I sound like a bitter queen now...but all I actually want is some friendliness. Kiwis are quite a friendly bunch and they love to small-talk a bit when you visit their shop or restaurant...Europeans however still have a lot to learn...

Yesterday I went on a trip to the West Coast. It's simply my favourite place on earth. When I come here, I feel the air, the light, the vegetation, everything is different!

I drove 540km yesterday, and about the same the day before...but I drive a hybrid, which uses exactly 5.3L/100km with my style of driving:)

Today, I wont go so far. I need to buy honey for my honey...he wants to give some to his parents in Seoul when he visits. Asian people love New Zealand Manuka honey as it is supposed to give you health benefits.

I must confess that I did something really naughty yesterday. As I was standing on the beach, the setting sun flooding the beach with warm orange light, I felt the urge to do something.

A friend once told me that when he's far away from civilisation, such as in lakes, rivers, forests he likes to enjoy himself.

It feels liberating indeed. I was surprised how quickly I finished...much quicker than when I watch naughty movies :))...I also took a picture of the evidence, but you wont get to see that:)

*blush blush* I shy.

As I stood up to get dressed again, a farang couple walked past not very far, phew...lucky!

Before that though, I wrote mine and the bf's name in the sand and drew a heart around it....sweet or cheesy?

On the way back to Queenstown I stopped by the lake - and took pictures of the sky...click on it, it looks awesome!!!

I only have two nights left in New Zealand, then I'll be back in Bangkok. Yay! Lets see how long I will feel like a tourist in my "home country"(Thailand). The last time it lasted a morning.

From Christchurch with Love...

2009-08-01T03:41:00.001-07:00

I went to "town" today, for the second time since I am here. The university is in the suburbs and I was too busy to take the bus to town...well not too busy, but since everything closes at 6pm at latest, it's a bit difficult.

Today was a marvellous day as you can see, blue sky, cold, crisp air. The top-right part of the above picture is for someone who knows it...

I went to the New Zealand Film Festival, to watch a German movie: "Der Baader Meinhof Komplex".

very capturing movie....and I learnt a lot about recent history too.

This is my last weekend in Christchurch. On Tuesday, I will go on a trip by myself to the mountain resort town of Queenstown.

These were all impressions of Christchurch, how it looked like today. Can you see that I love the blue sky and the wintery light?

bitchofbangkok

2009-07-31T05:56:00.000-07:00

Do you like my picture?

Thailand a lost paradise?

2009-07-31T05:19:00.000-07:00

My last article about HIV provoked a lot less reactions and opinions than I thought.

one commentator said that he likes my serious articles but doesnt want too many. I am sorry but I cant write about hot steamy sexdates, police arrests of foreigners, delicious food or fashion...if you want to read about any of the above, visit my blog friends please...

"Was once" said that many thais think they are not gay and therefore cant catch HIV...

so in that case, HIV is still a gay issue? globally it certainly isnt, but I am not sure about thailand...

I am thankful to prkmk, because he took up the topic of safe sex. We all take risks. Nearly everyone has done it. prkmk even asks whether sex with protection is really sex?

Well, I think you are going way too far here. thais see "sex" as penetration of someone, for me, that doesnt have to be the case...

yes, oral sex is a different story...we all do it unprotected, yet the risk is not zero. But from what I read, it's negligable unless you have a huge cut or wound in your mouth.

I actually talked to one of these guys who commented on fridae.com. We are having an interesting discussion, and he wants to know if it's a HIV+ person's duty to tell their sex partner about his status before sex. what do you think?

I am reading on gayboythailand that I will probably be scammed by 4 times at suvarnabhumi (by king power, by people steeling valuables from baggages, then by customs and finally by the taxi mafia) before I am even in a taxi.

Whereas Silom Farang knows well enough that Thailand isnt facing the last judgement, commentators on his blog are up in arms!

They sense that their boy-paradise will be taken away from them any minute.

Even though I have been away from Bangkok for a month, I have my opinion on this.

Firstly, Thailand is a developing country. Therefore, foreigners can not expect things to work as smoothly as back in Sweden/Australia/UK/Germany. there are pot holes on the street? hell yeah, it's Bangkok, not Hamburg. There are people trying to rip you off? Hell yeah, it's Bangkok, not Geneva. People can be rude to you? Of course....if you dont treat them with respect, the will give you what you deserve...

All the expats know so well that Thailand is a superficially judgement-free zone, where rules are there to be bent or even broken, and mostly no one cares about. Dont tell me you dont enjoy driving 140kph when you drive in Thailand. Dont tell me you wear a helmet on bikes. Dont tell me you dont see prostitutes....

Now that the proclaimed paradise is showing some cracks (due to the economic downturn and the political situation, which aggravates the downturn somewhat) the expats moan and whinge...

Excuse me, I think it's just simply rude behaviour. We are guests in this country. If we dont like how things work in Thailand, we can complain in a reasonable way - or go. Most expats are in such a comfortable position that they could go back to Norway or wherever at any moment, and the state would pay them their retirement, or unemployment benefits, or some payments due to chronic illness...

Thais however get nothing. They get laid off, they get nothing and have to find a new job as soon as possible. And I certainly hear them whingeing a lot less...

Lets see at the end of the day how many of these whingers and moaners really leave...what will be stronger? Their desire for security and orderliness or their dicks?

Lets talk about HIV/AIDS

2009-07-26T03:48:00.000-07:00

Today I want to write, or maybe even start a debate about HIV and stigmatisms.

When I was a teenager, I didnt directly come out to my parents. Instead, I used to have pictures of my crushes next to my bed, and made sure that when the door to my room was slightly open, people could see the pictures.

I also once gave my dad a copy of "Attitude", the UK gay magazine, and asked him if I can have his credit card to get a subscription. I dont know what he thought, but if I were him, I would have been even more disgusted by the sex-ads at the back of the magazine than I am myself...

I also used to go to a gay youth meeting, every week on Mondays. When Monday came, I told my parents: "ok, I am off to xxxtown" and I drove off.

I dont know what they thought, but I'm pretty sure they realised that I was gay. The only thing that my dad ever told me, before I officially come out, was that I should take care, having such a circle of friends...

Take care of course meant that I should not contract HIV/AIDS...For my dad, a modern man, not much over 50 years old, HIV/AIDS is primarly a sickness that gays have. And I dont think he is the only one...

Fast forward a few years. I had real fear of having contracted the HIV-virus several times in my life.

I remember two occasions very well.

Having freshly arrived in New Zealand - and soon met my second boyfriend, we had unprotected sex. Shortly after, I continued having throat problems. They were severe. One time, I couldnt swallow anymore (food that is:) because my tonsils had grown so enormously...I even got antibiotic injections IN MY ASS!!!:)

It turned out I was fine...

Having freshly arrived in Bangkok etc.....I didnt meet a boyfriend, but we were "gig" (kinda dating...). Somehow we loved having sex with each other. He was usually bottom, but he was confused about his identity, so he wanted to try top...

He just played a bit around my ass.....and suddenly it was in and he was fucking me....without condom! I took a moment to gather myself (because it felt good........) and told him to please put on a condom.

A few weeks after this, I got sick. Throat ache, body pain, fatigue etc....(except fever). I was sick for weeks, and got rashes too. I went to the doctor and asked about it. She only laughed at me...

I couldnt bear it anymore, I was literally worried sick, obsessing about the virus...so I got a plasma test. It cost me 3600 THB, but it was worth it...

I was lucky, but others arent.

Today, I read a moving story on fridae.com, written by a gay Singaporean who was not as lucky as I was. His story is written in four parts, where he writes about how he found out about his fate, how he broke the news to his family, how he can live with the disease thanks to generic medicine from Thailand, and how the gay community deals with HIV-positive people like him.

I really urge you all to read this. There will be two more articles appearing on the next two Fridays.

A few things struck me about his story.

The fact how he found out and subsequently was treated by the officials (that was in the 1990s) seems shocking. No one seemed to care, and officials seemed to treat him like an outcast already.

He also describes how he went through the famous five stages Kübler-Ross Model of how people deal with grief or tragedy: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Then, his brother found out through the insurance company, and confronted him, in a supporting way. After his parents, who to me sound like the "typical Singaporean parents", working hard and emotionally distant, also supported him, he felt like a big burden was taken off his shoulders.

He had someone to share the burden and then pain with and didnt have to face the challenges alone.

In the third part, he talks about the medicine he has to take, and mentions that it costs him 1,500 SG$ monthly. Singapore does NOT subsidise anti-retroviral drugs, which are lifesavers for HIV patients.

I personally find that scandalous and typical of the nanny-state. In their judgmental and naive view of governance, the Singapore Government really believes that they should punish the ones at fault like a teacher hitting students with the stick 50 years ago.

The writer regularly goes to Thailand to buy locally-made generic drugs which are affordable to him. He says: "Every time I make my drug pilgrimages to the Land of Smiles, I am humbled."

There we go, there are good things happening in our country...and of course the European pharmaceutical companies cringe...

In the fourth part, the protagonist talks about the social context of living the disease and the stigma. Some people would accept him as he is, others however would not want to be in the same room as him anymore...

Through this stigma, many "positive" people will not tell their partners, or sex-partners, the parents, or in fact anyone at all, because of the fear of becoming an outcast.

Lastly, and this is the most shocking part for me, he writes about contemporary hook-up culture in the city-state.

I had noticed on gayromeo.com that people started asking me for "high" or "chem" sex and I had wondered...but apparently such practices are widespread. According to the writer, most chem sex is done without protection...

One member commented and told us his own story. He is a young Asian man living in Australian. Apparently he fell in love with another man and they were just about to enter a relationship, when the other person found out through a third party. The other person said that this raises too many issues with him - and left.

How sad...

These stories, combined with my own unequivocally tell me that there are two problems with HIV. One is the disease itself, and the other one is the social stigma.

It is saddening that people who already suffer have to suffer even more, thanks to selfish humans who, upon hearing the three letters, want to do nothing else but run away.

Even though I am not HIV+, I have already felt a hint of this stigma too.

When I was afraid of having contracted the virus, I was not afraid about my health or my future, I was only afraid about having to tell my parents how I failed them...

Some of you may remember the story of the "lumpini boy". I wrote about him here and here. I slept with him, and I think he is HIV+, but we never talked about it. I do think that his strange behaviour has something to do with him fearing to be stigmatised.

I must say that I would have not changed my behaviour, would I have have known. I think I would have treated him with more respect though... Other Thai people I talked to however, disagreed and thought that I was crazy even touching him...I find this very unfair!

Finally, I want to invite you to please comment or email me if you have any story to tell or know anything about the gay culture in Thiland and Bangkok and HIV. While I was scared, I read many studies, and found out that apparently 30% of gay Bangkokians have the virus. I was shocked!!! However, the story was conducted in Silom, so I suppose barboys and such are a bit over-represented...

I have read a few stories about young Thai men who have suddenly died of "cancer"... the same problem of stigmatisation again.

Round deux - part deux

2009-07-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

My blog has recently been as interesting as a Mongolian steppe...or a New Zealand country-town I suppose...far, far away from the bustling metropolis of Bangkok. There, nearly everyday something would happen, or something would give me an impetus to write about a topic...

Our environment truly shapes us!

Now that doesnt mean my life is boring, all you bad shrinks out there. I am simply in the last week before thesis submission, and working roughly 13 hours a day...that only leaves time for eating, sleeping and watching movies....ahemm...the documentary sort of course;)

After 13-hour writing marathons, discussing literature, concepts and academic fields, my writing brain cells are dead for the day...

that's why, I have to rely on my dear friends to inspire me...thank you kawadjan:)

he wrote a post about second chances in relationships, and obviously, I felt immediately inspired...

well, me and my bf, we are second time offenders too...

I used to think that second chances are an illusion and deemed to failure. After all, we are still the same, people, prone to the same mistakes and behaviour.

My thought was that two people always fall into a dynamic, not just relationships, but also friends...if then, both parts are still essentially the same person, I thought that you are always going to fall into a routine: the same conversations, the same arguments, the same sex, the same things you do when you meet up.

The problem is, at some point we are so accustomed to our partners that we somehow also dont want to live without them, are happy that he is there (I dont mean waiting at home with a plate of spaghetti....more metaphysical...)

And behold, it may be even more than that...it may even be love... perhaps in some couples, the people really love each other, but are just somehow unable to have a relationship...

I actually think that probably quite a few couples will end up in a loop-situation...break-up, enjoy the freedom, missing the ex, getting together, getting tired of each other, break-up, etc...

In my case, I left my bf because I felt too held back. I had dreams and energy and I felt that we were living in a boring relationship and didnt give each other anything anymore...

After a few weeks, I started to miss him...I watched his pictures on facebook and thought that he looks way more attractive than I always thought. I even changed my network on facebook when he changed his, only so that I could see the pictures again...

Then, after one month in Thailand, I wrote him an email. It was Songkran 2008 when he wrote back, and immediately called me.

The rest of the story is here and here for you to read:)

We ended up together again and it was a gut-decision. A few months ago, when I was thinking about my professional future, I felt like I was held back again, we were nearly headed for the eternal loop...but something clicked in my mind that night, when I seriously thought about just walking out.

I think it was the realisation that nothing would come from nothing. My boyfriend is extremely loving and devoted to me. But this is not eternal, and I realised that I had to give him more devotion too...

That sounds like a pretty simple step, doesnt it? But it really isnt - at least for me. My bf is a very sensitive person, sometimes worrying a lot, probably due to the way he grew up. (and now I dont want you to come and overanalyse please...I dont even know him well enough for that...)

I suddenly realised that I actually have to stop my activities sometime when he is not feeling well, and not see him as an inconvenience when something silly happened. Even a much smaller gesture like listening to him for a few minutes on the phone when something went wrong is absolutely crucial...

And again, it sounds so simple and easy, but it's really not! Especially when you are like me, and have an impulsive character...even a small argument with shouting can help...

In China, we shouted at each other for the first time since we know each other (in 4 years that is) and it worked wonder. All the bad, sticky air was gone, and our minds felt fresh.

I am just thinking about these scenes in American TV series or documentaries when couples go to the, here we go...shrink....to get their relationship back on track. They are always told to write down or tell each other what they hate about each other....we did that in the centre of Guangzhou:)

But, the journey is not finished yet. In the olden times, were we a straight couple of our age (he's 24 and I am 26 by the way) we would have been married and had two children already. That's another topic though...

As gays students however, we are flexible, can move and dont have much that binds us, except our mutual love...the next test will come soon enough, we will have to try to find jobs, and hope that they are within reasonable distance.

The way things look, I'd be happy if we'd live within a 3-hour bus-ride...but lets see...even if we may face difficult challenges, the way we have grown as persons and as a couple will have prepared us much better to face them...wish us luck:)

Oh, and by the way, say hi to him....he's reading the blog too now...:)

thai moneyboy and bitchofbangkok on the farm

2009-07-19T04:17:00.000-07:00

My friend's farm

Just before, I got a message from an occasional chat-partner, a Thai moneyboy. He has many thousand views on his profile and seems to be famous.

I really dont know why he is a favourite with farangs, the average countryboy looks better than him I think....one time I saw him in Centralworld having Japanese food at 4pm with a Dutch tourist (including Lonely Planet Thailand).

Anyway, the moneyboy said he wants to relax on my couch because he is drunk from having brunch with his ex-boyfriend.

He can not stay at his ex-boyfriend's place because said person is now with another boy.

The competition seems fierce and farangs seem to have all the choice. I suppose that is to YOUR (the reader) benefit...

He said: I am on the way to your home now, give me your telephone number. I told him that I live in a home and not in a hotel. And that was it then...

Good morning New Zealand!

Last Friday, me and my two friends visited another friend from University on her country-farm.

My farmer friend is not pregnant and has a handsome Irish boyfriend who says he'd love to visit Thailand. I suppose Thai boys would be happy...:)

Two doggies?

The young couple also have two dogs and a cat. I am still trying to figure out whether I am a cat- or dog-lover. Maybe it's the same as with top and bottom - you can also be both!!!

Dogs are cool because they like to be with you. They are sweet, sensitive and there is some real, meaningful interaction. Nearly as meaningful as with taxi drivers and somtam ladies in Bangkok, just without them asking if I have a Thai girlfriend:)

But, dogs smell. And I cant stand that smell!!!!

Or a kitty?

Cats on the other hand are bitches. You call them, they turn around and face the wall. Who knows what they think when they face the wall but they are far bitchier than me!

Suddenly they lash out with their cute paws and slash your skirt! Dangerous kitty!!!

But, they are soooooooo beautiful! And have a silky fur and best of all, when you pat them they purrrrrrrrrrr.

So, the jury is out. What am I and my bf gona get one day? :) I suspect we still have some time before we need to make that decision....come to think of it, I would love to be a dad....I really mean it!!!

Thai universities, Thai manners

2009-07-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

While doing research, I stumbled upon an informative internet site for foreigners coming to study in the "Land of Smiles."

The site quite extensive and administered by a German lecturer. The German lecturer lives in Chonburi Province and Bangkok. I am sure he is here because of the great reputation of Thai universities (not). I looked at his pictures and have a lingering feeling he is one of us...say "hi" if you read this!

Studying in Thailand gives you one great advantage, and one great disadvantage. You get a visa for one year and it's cheap. I had a 40+ Swiss classmate doing this. He did NOT pay one satang for a year though.

After nearly a year, a student finally had the guts to tell him that he should stop studying, since he is not paying the fees. (The office ladies were too shy to tell him, because he begged them). Now he is teaching English as a Second Language at my university (which is meant to be an institution of reputation....)

Since I heard that, I have lost all the minimal respect I had left for my university.

The disadvantage is the quality of your lecturers and co-students. If you have foreign lecturers, they are not here for the teaching...

Back to the internet site. It has a page on "Thai Social Etiquette". The content is copied from a book, supported by the Ministry of Culture.

The chapter "Everyday Etiquette" made me smile.

It gives you advice on how to behavein everyday situations in Thailand.

The first picture is cute. When you talk to a lady, you are meant to be humble and make that extremely feminine gesture. It is not allowed to raise your head and fold your arms on your chest.

It also tells us how we should walk:

Walk in a natural, relaxed manner, taking steps that arc neither too long nor too short.
In walking, good manners mean you do not do the following:
Turn your body this way and that way.
Move your head about.
Put an arm around someone's neck.
Put your hands in your trouser pockets.
Show absent-mindedness, straying into people's way or blocking a passage.
Walk in front of your boss or superior as if you were leading him.

Now, as farangs we love walking behind Thais, dont we. They never "turn their body this way and that way", they never "move their head about" and they are never "absent-minded, stray in our way or block a passage". Never ever...;)

If you havent gotten it, I am being ironic. It's in fact one of the things farags despise the most. I hear frequent complaints about the above issues...

There are more things we can not do when we walk:

Refrain from holding hands in public as it may have undesirable implication.

Oh, what undesirable thing could it mean?

If you walk like the two men on the right, people might just think you are G-A-Y. And the repercussions for this are huge in Thailand, as we all know.

"A well-mannered Thai will not lie in a public area, or lie in his home with his foot pointing to anyone, or remain lying when he is spoken to by someone older than him. He will not lie down in the presence of a lady or a new acquaintance."

Tell that to the moneyboys! You no point feet me, it lude! You wait I lie down!

"A Thai person usually says prayers at the Buddha Image altar or in bed before lying down. He will never lie with his feet pointing toward the Buddha image."

Have you ever encountered that? I have, with one data I cannot remember and with my (girl)friend who visited me in farangland. I was a bit surprised... when I wanted to ask her something and turned around to look at her, she was praying on the bed...

The manners in "clothes-wearing" are hilarious:

"Some people are not very clear about what to wear on different occasions."

Oh really? I am VERY clear:P

The lady on the left is welcoming a party of men in her night gown. Can not!!!

"When at home and a visitor comes, do not welcome him in your nightclothes"

Well, I am naked at night, so I suppose that is a good avice...

"Be reasonably well dressed when you go out shopping.
Wear a party dress for afternoon tea party or cocktails.
Men wearing suits should have at least one button done up.
Men do not roll up their sleeves as if getting ready for a fight."

The first one is really true. Here in New Zealand, I see people doing their shopping in pyjamas or even huddled up in their blanket! Thais however really do dress up when they go out...

However, I see men rolling up their sleeves all the time. How else would you survive in the 35C heat? It doesnt mean we are all going to fight....

Then, manners in coversation:
-He does not ask personal questions such as: How is your ex-wife/husband now? How much do you weigh? How old are you? How much is your salary?
-And he does not get personal saying things like: I see you've gained weight. You've become so dark.
-He does not gossip.
-He does not talk shop with someone and exclude others from joining in the conversation.

No, Thais NEVER do these things. In fact, gossiping is the national past-time number 1. If you tell your Thai friend a secret, everyone else will know your secret at latest by the next day.

And Thais never ask your age, salary and your weight. In fact, EVERYONE asks this!!!!

I am wondering about this manners book. I think it's the "model" Thailand that we are meant to believe in.

The modest, gentle, considerate and polite, smiling Thai.

The reality is of course very different. I wonder if there are any discussions about conservative values and manners in the Thai public arena...my guess is that people would rather not think about such things too much since that would mean contemplating and questioning your own, and your country fellow's behaviour.

What do you think?

Anon Shrinks, French Ambassadors and straight problems

2009-07-16T14:42:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone. I am happy to report that I lead a good life and I am on the right path.

I heard from fellow blogger bkkdreamer that his "anon" shrink apparently let him know that the scathing remark on my blog was not his. Apparently he did not need to comment on my blog because I am a young fellow and lead a wholesome life...

Dont misunderstand me, I am not bitter about the previous comment on my blog; I just find it amusing how some "anonymous" people out there discuss us bloggers - and eventually come to drastic conclusions.

Today, I am meant to meet the French Ambassador at a seminar. I already met him about two years ago and he is - well - FRENCH. There are no Muslims in his country because everyone is French! etc... I wonder what scandalously French opinion he will have this time:)

Later tonight, me, my Peruvian and my Kiwi friend will drive into the hills to visit a study-collegue of ours, who lives on a farm with her husband. She is about 26 and, pregnant. And she was all ashamed when we heard of her pregnancy and came to congratulate her...

In the mean time, ultra-straight New Zealand is forcing more straightness on me...

When I was walking home last night from an exhausting study-day, I walked behind two dolled-up girls. It's the beginning of the term here so everyone is in the mood to get pissed and laid basically.

The two girls were loudly discussing sex. "Have you done it since last week?" "Have you dont it since you last met him?"

One girl asked the others a plethora of questions. Either she was jealous for her getting laid so frequently, or because she was a lez and into her...

As I passed them, they were ashamed and chuckled. But when I was about 2 metres in front of them, they continued their discussion. "Did it hurt?" "Yeah, the first four or five times but now I tell him to do it harder because I dont feel anything..."

I should have turned around and said: "girl, try getting it up your ass and then we can talk again!"

Come to speak of it, I do not remember my first anal sex at all. I dont even remember whether I was top or bottom. Identity-crisis alarm!! Am I now a queen or a king, a gay or a man? ;)

My flat is now infested with Dutch straight guys. They are real blokes. One guy arrived from San Diego on to visit his friend here in Christchurch, before returning to the Netherlands.

San Diego boy says "man" about twice every sentence. "Hey man, how are you doing man, have a good night man...." etc...

Yesterday, they invited a Kiwi bloke and had a few drinks. I overheard them branding San Diego guy "gay" because he bought a nice jacket...then, something about "dont hug me, are you gay"?

They sure had issues out there - it seems....

At least they do the dishes....

unhappy blog-reader, akaroa visit, straight flatties and gay life

2009-07-14T05:08:00.000-07:00

Recently, I havent been up to shagging a Thai boy, exploring moneyboys in Silom or spending a relaxing time in the steamy sauna with my bf and the technician of my condo.

Loyal reader "anonymous" deeply resents this and gave me a scathing assessment of my blog.

"I hope your life is far less boring that your posts, which have gone from unoffensive mildly amusing posts from a white queenie white student in Bangkok to derisible silly opinionated rants about your boring life in New Zealand."

Thank you for your accurate assessment. The exit is to your right my love.

Seriously, why are you even reading my blog? It has been around for more than a year and you had about 365 days to get lost already, so why didnt you a bit earlier?

Apart from that, and on a more serious note. My life is not boring and I am making something out of it. How could you possibly judge on someone's whole life on the basis of such a silly blog?

Seriously, this topic creeps up time and again. Especially with bkkdreamer's and my blog. Stop judging about the people's lives on the basis of mere texts...we bloggers have a life besides blogging too...

Actually, I need to tell you that I am not in NZ for good...in a few weeks, I shall be back to Bangkok. In the meantime, bear with me and broaden your horizons a bit:)

Two days ago, my friend gave me his Toyota Celica for two days. It was only yesterday that I could fully benefit from having a car.

In the afternoon, I packed my bags and drove off to Akaroa. This little town is on the Banks Peninsula, about 1.5 hours away from Christchurch. The drive is very scenic as I passed farms, an estuary, orchards, hills, the coastline and even had to climb and descend a rather high hill.

Arrived on the hill, the panorama is gorgeous. I also chose a gorgeous day. Winter, I reckon is the best time to visit Christchurch - IF the weather is ok. The colours were colder but more interesting than in summer, when the landscape is all but green or brown.

Of course, my camera decided to throw a tantrum and did not work. The battery was empty...

I arrived in Akaroa just when the sun was about to set. Or so I thought...winter sunsets in New Zealand are gorgeous and last forever!

On the way back, one of the most magic sights of my whole life suddenly appeared around the corner: Behind the whole chain of the Southern Alps, from the right to the left, the sky was illuminated in an incredibly intense red.

The estuary in front of me reflected this spectacle so that every car passing this sight stopped and marvelled at its beauty....truly gorgeous. I just wish I had my proper camera with me...

On to another topic...straight male flat-mates. This is one of the worst situations you can live in. I warn you and I am speaking with confidence here, since hardly anyone of you is a straight male anyway.

Today, the two Chinese blokes left. Now it's just me and a (straight) Dutch man. The kitchen was nothing short of disgusting. Half the dishes were soaked in a puddle of grease, water, rice and shrimp remainings.

Action had to be taken. I deserve a medal of honour and have to re-iterate that I never ever lived with a straight guy who did dishes and kept the house clean. Poor, poor women of our earth...

After two weeks of silence, my gaydar is slowly picking up signals. Today, I went to my favourite Korean restaurant and apparently the owner, or just the personally had changed.

Instead of a moody teenage girl, a smiling young man welcomed me and my friends. I watched him as he proceeded to talk to girls. But there was something odd with him, he also talked and smiled to guys, in a very sweet way.

When we left, he asked us, which one of us was the Korean person. None of us, we replied...The man tried to make conversation, and sent me off with a big sweet smile - I think he's PLU :)

Just before, when I put out the disgusting rubbish of the two straight ex-flatmates, two men approached. When they saw me, with all my boxer-shorts glory (in below zero temperatures nonetheless), they eyed me, and stopped talking.

Also gay? Or just aghast at my non-matching combination of orange-red boxers with a blue-grey shirt? :)

Sunday in New Zealand

2009-07-12T02:40:00.000-07:00

A Sunday in New Zealand. How does that sound? Well, I find that strangely, for many people, it's a day of routines.

This is of course not only a New Zealand observation... When I still lived with my parents (more than 7 years ago), we used to have a big breakfast, which was more like a brunch.

Meat, bread, orange juice, jam, cheese and two sunday newspapers. While my mum and dad preferred the one that's read by the masses, I preferred the more upmarket newspaper.

It had just the right mix of political news, serious business matters, a good fashion and lifestyle section, a bit of sports and a nice travel articles. It was the newspaper for the "discerning reader"...:)

In New Zealand, my Sunday used to start quite similarly...miles and miles away from my family, I did much the same, with the boyfriend as an ersatz-family.

For nearly a year, I had to drive him to work on Sundays towards lunch time. I dropped him off at the mall (see, everything revolves around these bloody things) and went about my own business.

I had two phases. One was the active outdoors phase. In summer, when the temperatures are solidly hovering around 15C during the day, sometimes going as high as 30, sometimes as low as 10 degrees, I picked up my bike, put it into the boot of my car and drove out to the countryside.

I had a love-hate relationship with my car at the time. A green Saab 900 made in 1994, it was a beautfiul, elegant, edgy and sublimely comfortable. But, it was not very reliable. I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on new parts until I got scared that it might one day simple die on me. I sold it.

When I didnt drive out to the countryside, I 'd head straight to the supermarket and, since I was hungry, bought tons of cheese, bread, spreads, olives and so on.

And...the Sunday newspaper. Here in New Zealand, it's called the "Sunday Star Times", and isnt exactly what you'd call "quality journalism". Still, it was entertaining, and came with a little magazine called "sunday".

On a sunny sunday, I'd lie down on the bed in my sun-drenched room, eat my breads, spreads and olives and read "sunday".

Fast forward two years.

Today, I got up early. Well, I heard an sms and jumped up. I realised quickly that I'd slept through my 8.30am date with my friend to take him to the airport.

I put on any clothes I could see (no matchy-matchy, kawadjan;), looked into the mirror (I actually looked rather ok) and ran out. I did not even put on my anti-wrinkle cream though...

My friend, who is from Peru and has a Jewish-Polish mum, who lived in Spain, was flying up to Auckland for two days.

He asked me to take care of his car for the time and I was thrilled at his suggestion. You see, in Christchurch, living without a car is like living in a wheelchair.

You can do most things, but it's horribly inconvenient to get around.

In the back of the car was his "friend". (I think his fuckbuddy or semi-gf or something though) She didnt speak English, so I had to resort to other languages.

A few minutes later, I was driving a car...I hadnt done that in months!

A cute little Toyota Celica. I remember how rougly 18 years ago, mum, dad and me (I was a cute little boy with long, straight blond hair and big cheeks!) drove to Italy for our first holiday - in a red Toyota Celica!

The super-celica. Isnt that a beauty? Ours was red though...

I headed to the supermarket and bought - the sunday newspaper!

Today's Sunday Star Times

What did I find in there? The usual boring silly bits, and as a compensation a few funny and scarily opinionated editorials.

One guy who keeps writing for the newspaper is a middle-aged ex-Member of Parliament cum Mayor of a smalltown cum radio broadcaster cum writer. (for the interested, google "michael laws")

He's notoriously big-mouthed and always writes about sex. I dont know why a politician can seriously write a half-a-page about sex every sunday. This weekend, he said that women prefer "old gentlemen" to "mummy's boys".

He is neither, so I dont know where he fits. Up to you...

Another column was more interesting. The woman wrote about the New Zealand Prime Minister, who is notoriously (a bit too) chummy with important people.

Apparently, he said to the Tongan King that his english is probably much better than his own. From a reliable source, I also know that the Prime Minister, upon being asked a question while having dinner with the King of Spain started his reply with: "Well, King, .....".

Hahahaha, that has to be too much.

NZ Prime Minister John Key.

There was also gay content in the newspaper. By the way: I am sorry I cant report on any gay things here, such as flirts, observations, good-looking men etc...such things are extremely rare here...

A columnist wrote in all seriosity that women's sports should not be taken seriously, is only for lesbians and is just watched by men because they are horny creatures.

Well, I have never had these feelings, but I still think it's a handful to write such things in a mainstream newspaper...

Readers might be more interested in the rugby-section though. Next weekend, the All Blacks are playing the Wallabies of Australia. Everyone is gearing up.

The capitain of the All Blacks, Richie McCaw, himself quite a handsome man, has returned from an injury. Here, you can see him celebrate a victory with his friends.

Richie McCaw in the middle

I hope many Thais read this, and will never ever call me "fat anymore". Compared to the fella on the left, I loook as slim as a gazelle on a diet!

And now, before I go back to reading "sunday" magazine, look at the advertisement below. I think it's funny.

Mall Culture, a Hungarian Onion, a Heater and a Wine

2009-07-10T02:34:00.000-07:00

We have two winners. International Mister Gay 2009 is MISTEEEEEEER Switzerland.

How strange...I thought the Swiss are about as known for producing interesting, funky and hot people as the Thais for producing a good wine...

The second winner is Sepiroth. It was long overdue that some smart brain found out where I am. Of course, Aotearoa, Land of the Long White Cloud, or New Zealand, as most of you will call the country.

Mister Sepiroth was not quite right though...I am not a Kiwi. But I AM in New Zealand. Christchurch if you want it more accurately. You can check all the farangs in Christchurch now and see whether they look like a bitchofbangkok.

The moon...beautiful, isnt it?

I think I owe you a little bit of an explanation over my mall/suburbia-rant from a few days ago. Even though I sometimes rant, and people get offended, I do have my reasons for voicing an opinion.

Let me keep it short though. Most people will say: Let the people do whatever they want to. If someone decides to have 2 Hummers, 3 Ferraris and 2 Benz SUV's, a dog, a child and a house in suburbia, let them do.

Well, of course we are a relatively free society. But, I still can not quite support that argument. I believe in the regulatory power of the state. Americans would call this "liberal", Europeans maybe "etatist".

I think the Government is there to guide us. We do not care enough for our environment and live in an extremely inefficient society. We live hours away from work and every person drives to work in their own car. Cares produce way too many emissons and so on...

One more time, la luna

Also, when I walk around in Christchurch, everyone has a house and a garden around it, and a huge fence around the garden. How many times do I see people use the garden and enjoy it though?

Rarely. Having to "keep up" the garden is the only activity that normally takes place there. I had a friend who studied here. Her house was home to a grand total of 4 people and 5 cars...

Then the malls. Malls, at least the way they are designed here, contribute to extreme uniformity and encourage people to be less and less creative. You go to the mall, get your groceries (ok, not everyone can go to the market), get some clothes (from some boring brand), have a coffee from Starbucks...

At least café-culture is well and alive in New Zealand, especially in Wellington. Here, believe it or not, I have had the best coffees outside of Italy.

Good morning Christchurch

At my university, I had to change room. I moved from being neighbours with a Hungarian Christian fundamentalist to being neighbours with a gay-hating French Arab.

The Hungarian man is nothing short of crazy. He discussed gay marriage with me recently and of course, at some point the argument will be: "the bible says this". Then, you are disarmed because this is the ultimate argument. After this, the discussion is finished.

He recently got divorced from his wife and according to him, its the fault of the New Zealand Government. They gave her a house, he complains. I rather think she desperately wanted to leave him, and got support from the NZ Government. Well done!

Now, he ordered a new bride from the Philippines. He proudly chats to her about 4 hours a day and calls her frequently. Her pictures hang next to his ex-wife's at his work-station.

According to the Hungarian, Filipinos are good and civilised people, because "they are Christians, they wear shoes and dont eat with their hands".

My friend found porn of her on his memory stick when he was helping to print out a document. Maybe the Hungarian is just a horny middle-aged man and not as saintly as he thinks he is.

The Hungarian likes to eat raw onions, because it prevents him from getting Swine flu. I thought I was back in Thailand when I heard this...

After his onion feast, the Hungarian in his entirety, the whole room and according to my best friend, even the lift smells like onions. Goodbye, I said and moved next to the French Arab gay-hater girl. Lets see how we get along...

She was shouting at her mum in a mix of Arab and French on the phone for nearly 30 minutes today...a good start..

Dew! I remember that Thais travelled to the North in winter to see dew. Come to Christchurch I say:)

The office is ultra-happy to have me around. Bitching and gossiping is on an all-time high. If there are a few people huddled together in a corner, talking about someone else, I will be part of that group for sure!

My friend calls us the office-bullies.

A friend who has met me through this blog has said that I sound extremely feminine and bitchy. Well, it's my name. In real life though I am a manly bear...hahahaha, kidding. I am not a queeny boy though. And I am certainly not quite as evil as you might think.

But, if someone is rude to me, I will try to be at least double as rude back to them:P

Tonight, I am having a wonderful night. I am drinking a Pinot Noir from Central Otago (for people who dont know wine: "a very good red wine"). It's from an area called "Mount Difficulty". That makes me wonder how the mountain got its name...

I also bought a little fan heater. OMG, I nearly died last night. It was below zero and my hairdryer died. To me, my hairdryer is about as crucial as the umbrella to my bf. We can not live without them!!!

International Mister Gay 2009

2009-07-08T04:25:00.000-07:00

We fags love looking great, so it is no surprise that we have a beauty pageant too. This one is called "INTERNATIONAL MISTER GAY 2009". I suppose to have a chance to be chosen you need to be gay, and that's about it.

I have chosen some representatitives of countries. Frankly, I am a bit disappointed. Especially the quality of the pictures...

You choose...which one do you like?

I will tell you the real winner tomorrow.

Here are the contestants:

Mister Gay Australia. Quite a body, eh!

Mister Gay Brazil. Qute!:) Looks like my first bf with his curly hair!

Mister Costa Rica....Ay bonito! He looks good I think.

Mister France. Looks like he is 16. Kinda qute but, the picture.........oh my.

Mister Guam. Does anyone but the Americans and Pinoys among us know where this "country" is situated? Look at his face and you know. Between Asia and the Americas:)

Mister Korea. What a body. yummy! but a face made out of candyfloss...

Where do you think this man is from? Netherlands? Belgium? Great Britain? No.....he is Mr Gay MOZAMBIQUE!

This young many looks interesting...some kind of mix. No wonder, he is Mr Gay NAMIBIA.

Mr Gay Peru. Sorry but I can take a better picture of myself right now, if you wish, unshaved and -showered even.

Mister Philippines. He looks Thai to me. He will probably be your favourite. Qute but same same many other guys, no?

MIster Scotland is not wearing a kilt...he has a hot body nevertheless...

Mister Switzerland. Where are the cow bells? Anyway, the star tattoo is hot! And so are his undies, and his butt too:)

Mister Syria......he looks a bit evil...

And this is our own representative, Mister Gay Thailand....no comment. We all know there are hordes of better-looking people on the streets of Siam...

My favourites are Costa Rica, Switzerland and Namibia...